Chapter 8

Liam walked into the house and slammed the front door behind him, waking Jared who was asleep on the sofa.

"What are you doing here? Thought you were at Aaron's?"

"I was."

"Then why are you back here?"

"Do I have to tell you everything?"

"What is it with your mood today? Have you two had an argument or something?"

"You could say that, yeah." Liam snapped

"Dare I ask what about?"

"He was having this dream, about some bloke called Jackson. He wouldn't tell me what it was about."

"He had a dream? And you've fallen out with him because of that?"

"Just leave it, Jared, ok?"

"It was a DREAM Liam! You know sometimes you're too paranoid for your own good. You could of at least let him explain himself."

"He didn't wanna tell me. And if he's dreaming about other men I really don't wanna know!"

"Dreams can mess with our heads, you of all people should know that! How many times have you had dreams about what happened to you? You've never wanted to tell us about them. We KNOW you're still having the dreams Liam! Talk to him, otherwise you two are gonna be over before you've even begun!"

"Just butt out alright?"

"What are you scared of Li? That he's gonna find out Toxic wasn't the reason you moved from Australia? That he's gonna find out WE aren't Australian?"

"Jared, I'm warning you…"

"He needs to know."

"He doesn't need to know anything! Alright? What happened happened and there's nothing I can do!"

"Nah, You just ran away. You couldn't face what had happened so you ran away. Like you always do! You'll continue to bottle it up until you can't take it anymore and you'll lash out! Again!"

"Can't take what?" Liam asked, knowing full well he knew what Jared's response would be..

"You know who i'm on about Liam. Tyler."

eeeeeee

Aaron was still sat on the cold floor in the dark kitchen of Smithy. He didn't hear the key turn in the lock, or flicker when the light was turned on.

"Aaron? Aaron what's happened?"

Aaron looked up to see Paddy, standing at his side, worry etched across his face.

"I've blown it. I've driven him away." Aaron sobbed

"What are you talking about? You two were happy when I left, What happened?"

"I fell asleep and had the nightmare again didn't I? Liam wanted to know what happened and I didn't tell him..I-I couldn't. and now he's gone. Just like Jackson, Just like everyone else!"

"Oh Aaron! Come on, Sit down at the table." Paddy replied, helping the teen climb to his feet

"You're right Paddy, I'm not over him. I don't think I ever will be! I can't lose Liam Paddy! I can't!"

"The only way you won't lose him Aaron, is if you open up to him."

"What? Tell him "Yeah I enjoyed shagging your brains out mate but I'm not over my ex"? Good idea." Aaron scoffed.

"Tell him the reason you had the nightmares Aaron. If he's gonna be a part of your life from now on he needs to know what's going on inside your head!"

"I know! But I'm scared that's what's going to make me lose him! I told Jackson what was going on inside my head and look what happened to him! I cant face the thought of that happening to Liam!"

"It won't, If you're honest with him from the start Aaron."

eeeeeee

Liam groaned as his phone rang, it was Aaron, as much as he wanted to press the reject button, he remembered what Jared had said to him and accepted the call

"What do you want, Aaron?"

"I can't sleep, I need to see you. I need to explain."

"Explain what?"

"Everything. You wanna get to know me properly, right?"

Liam sighed and looked at his watch, 1am.

"Can't we do this tomorrow?"

"No, we can't, because if I don't do it now, I don't know when I'll have the courage to do it again. Please Liam?"

Liam sighed and climbed out of his bed "Fine. Where do you want to meet?"

"Just meet me at home, then we can go somewhere quiet to talk."

"I'm on my way."

eeeeee

Aaron waited patiently outside Smithy Cottage. He took deep breaths and wiped his eyes when he saw Liam approaching.

"Right. I'm here. Talk Aaron."

"Not here. Come on."

Liam followed Aaron up a narrow road, which seemed to go on forever.

"Where are we going?"

"The Cricket Pavilion. It's not far."

After a few more minutes of walking they finally reached their destination.

"Why are we here?"

"It's where I always come when I need to do some thinking or talking. You want me to be honest with you?"

Liam nodded and sat down opposite Aaron.

"Ok look, This is really difficult to explain ok. I just need you to stay with me alright?"

Liam nodded and Aaron continued

"That dream I had…I've been having them for a long time, Liam, almost a year now. I don't know how to stop them. Jackson…he's my ex-boyfriend."

"Oh great, you're dreaming about your ex-boyfriend? Makes me feel a whole lot better."

"Will you just listen to me?" Aaron yelled "I did something, that I'm never going to forgive myself for. we'd had a stupid argument, I got on the wrong side of some thug and I lost my dog because of it, I'm not going into details Liam, but It's no secret I've got a bit of a violent streak. I saw the lad who did it in town one night, I lost it. I really wanted to hurt him and the only thing that was stopping me was Jackson. He'd claimed our relationship was over and he tried to drive away. I got into his van and we'd talked, next thing, we're outside, on some abandoned road, talking things through. He told me he loved me…and…I couldn't say it back. It broke his heart and He got into his van again and drove off, leaving me at the side of the road. I STUPIDLY tried calling him, to get him to come back and he…"

"He what, Aaron?" Liam asked, stretching over the table to take Aaron's hand in his.

"He crashed. Because of me. He crashed onto a level crossing, and his van was hit by a train…while he was trapped inside. He survived, but he's permanently paralysed. He's never going to walk again and it's all because of me! I found him in the van, all scrunched up and covered in blood. I can NEVER get that image out of my head! It's messed me up Liam, probably for good. I don't think the nightmares are ever going to go away, the guilt I have is never going to go away. How the hell can I live my life knowing that I completely destroyed someone else's?" Aaron sobbed, tears flowing down his face and splashing onto the table below.

"Oh god, Aaron. I'm so sorry babe."

"I don't blame you, If you want to walk away. If you want to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, Aaron. If you'll let me, I'll help you get through this, ok?" Liam replied, honestly, pulling a hysterical Aaron into a hug

"What if I fuck this up Liam? What if I fuck this up and something happens to you? I can't bear it happening to me again!"

"It won't." Liam promised, cuddling into Aaron

"How do you know?"

"Cause I won't let it. Not again." Liam sobbed "Not to you, or to me."

TBC