Battle of the Mages Chapter 11: 10 Wishes to Help, a kingdom hearts fanfic

Battle of the Mages
Wishes to Help

"Let's go home," said Cloud, getting up. Kylie nodded, and followed him to the gummi ship.

The tension in the gummi ship on the way back to the Coliseum was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Cloud glanced at Kylie. She was staring straight out the windshield, hands clasped in her lap, not moving.

Cloud reached over and flipped on the radio, hoping to break the silence.

Looking back at me
I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things
I cannot win

You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong, like a drug
That gets me
High

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so
Cold

To you
I'm sorry 'bout all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again
Cause now I can see

You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong, like a drug
That got me
High

I never really
Wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known

I guess what I mean is just know
I never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold.

"Cold, by Crossfade," said the DJ on the radio.

Cloud looked at Kylie. She met his gaze, and the look in her eyes told her that this song explained many of the things that Cloud wanted to say to her, but couldn't. The look in her eyes told him that she understood.

They both turned back to the road as the next song came on.

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching, you know.
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself off of the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like it didn't ever happen
It didn't ever happen before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Yeah
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself off of the floor.
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like it didn't ever happen
It didn't ever happen

Maybe redemption starts as a child
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here.

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself,
To lift yourself off of the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move like it didn't ever happen
It didn't ever happen,
It didn't ever happen,
It didn't ever happen before

"Dare You to Move, Switchfoot," said the DJ.

Kylie looked at Cloud, who met her gaze. The same thing happened as with the other song. She wanted him to lift himself off of the floor.

Before another song could start, they arrived at the Coliseum, and Cloud cut the engine. They sat there for a few seconds, then Kylie opened her door and got out, closing it with a thump. Cloud followed her out. After he had closed his door, he locked the gummi ship and followed Kylie inside.

Just as she was about to disappear inside her room, Cloud called her name.

"Kylie!"

As she turned, she was swept into a hug. She blushed.

"Thank you," Cloud whispered into her hair. "You healed me. You saved my life. When you fell from the sky, I decided that I might as well do something good before I died. I decided to save your life, and when you got well, kill myself. But, in the first few hours after we met, you made me laugh. I hadn't laughed in a long time. You made me feel feelings that I had smothered for a long, long time." Cloud stopped so his voice wouldn't break, then continued. "Thank you Kylie. Oh, Kami, thank you!" He hugged her tightly. They stayed that way for a few moments. Then, Cloud leaned down slightly, and pressed his lips against her forehead. "Goodnight Kylie," He let her go, and she disappeared into her room after flashing him a confused and scared look.

After her door closed, Cloud sighed and leaned against the wall. It was all right if she never understood, or returned his feelings. It would actually be better if she never did. Then, she wouldn't have to deal with so much pain and sorrow.

Cloud walked back to his room, closing and locking the door. He sat on his bed, and thought about the look of fear that she had given him. She was scared of him. He felt the fragile life that he had built with Kylie come crashing down. It was too much too soon.

Cloud removed his shirt, looking in sorrow at his infected arm. He then took a knife hidden under his bed, and drew it across his back, adding another scar to his already scar covered back. As the blood dripped down his back, he thought, Why am I still here? The girl I love is scared of me. I should have been dead a long time ago. Cloud continued cutting.

In Kylie's room, she was sitting on her bed, thinking about what had just happened. Why had he hugged her? Why did he tell her all of this? They were friends, sure, but the things he had told her were things you would only tell to the person you loved. She shook her head at the stupid thought. Cloud didn't love her. But if he didn't love her, what was that kiss all about? For a friend, a hug, she could understand, but kisses were reserved for the people you loved. Kylie was upset that the person that she loved could feel this pain, and she couldn't help at all.

Kylie got up, and turned on her radio.

In Cloud's room, knife bloody, he reached over and turned on his radio to the same radio station as Kylie.

You wanted to,
Grab a brush and put a little makeup,
You wanted to,
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup,
You wanted to,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to,

I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die, Die,

Wake up,
Grab a brush and put a little (makeup),
Grab a brush and put a little,
Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup)
Hide the scars to fade away the,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable

You wanted to,
Grab a brush and put a little makeup,
You wanted to,
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup,
You wanted to,
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table,
You wanted to,

I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die

Kylie pictured Cloud earlier in the gummi ship, and the thought that he had conveyed to her with the song Cold. She knew that Cloud felt this way too.

Cloud was shocked at how well the song conveyed his thoughts. He wished that Kylie could hear the song, and know that he felt this way.

Kylie took out a hidden knife, and, depressed, began to cut her arm.

Cloud suddenly felt a twinge in his arm, and Kylie felt a twinge in her back. They both knew that the other was cutting themselves. The two young adults rose, ready to run to the others room. Kylie was quicker than Cloud. Before he had even risen from his bed, she had burst through the locked door. For a split second, he wondered how she had gotten through the locked door, until he noticed the blood dripping down her arm. His face contorted in rage.

"What are you doing?" Cloud shouted at her.

"I could ask you the same thing!" yelled Kylie, noticing the bloody knife.

Cloud ignored her. "Why do you care what I'm doing?" Kylie was taken aback. She had asked almost the exact same thing that morning.

"Self mutilation is not the answer Cloud!"

Cloud grew furious. And in his rage, he said unspeakably cruel things.

"Shut up! You act as if you were so self righteous and perfect and pure, but you're not! You cut yourself too! And your hands are stained with blood, as are mine! So don't you dare judge me!"

Kylie recoiled as if he had hit her.

"I was just trying to help…"

"Well don't! I don't need your friggin help! You have your own issues so why don't your try to fix them instead of trying to solve mine!"

Kylie's eyes welled up with tears.

"I hate you."

Cloud felt his heart break, but in his anger, the pain was numbed. He wasn't angry at her though. He was angry at himself. He couldn't stop cutting, and he was ashamed. And he was taking it out on her.

"Good. I hate you too!"

A single tear, pure as crystal, rolled down Kylie's cheek. That one tear broke through the wall of numbness and pierced Cloud.

"Kylie," he said, moving forward. Kylie turned and bolted back to her room. Cloud clenched his fist, even angrier at himself for all the stupid things he had said and done. He sat back down on his bed.