Chapter Twenty-One: In the Wind
Lisbon drove in silence.
She watched white headlights pool across dark pavement and thought of Jane, of their last conversation with each other.
Their last conversation.
It had been so…trivial. No mentions of life or death or Red John. No revelations of bloody vengeance or melancholy musings about the way of the world.
Just horses, and the desert. And Jane's antagonistic investigative techniques.
Lisbon tried not to think about how annoyed she'd felt with him during the entire phone call.
She tried very hard not to wonder whether it would have made a difference, if she hadn't turned her phone off, or if she'd checked her messages sooner.
Would Jane be safe right now, back at headquarters, regaling the team with some harrowing tale of escape?
There was no way to know.
Lisbon sighed, and drove on.
She hadn't told Rigsby and Cho anything yet. Van Pelt only knew part of the situation – not the full horror of it.
If Jane was dead, Lisbon would tell them herself. She would do it face-to-face, with as much poise and grace as she could manage. No chance of shielding them from that blow.
But this part – the gut-gnawing uncertainty, the twisting around like a flag in the wind, waiting but not knowing…This part, she could spare them.
Walking into that house, into that room, seeing their friend on the floor…She could spare them that, too.
Red and blue lights twinkled in the distance. They looked beautiful – like fireworks against the black of night.
A cold rock suddenly lodged itself in Lisbon's throat, preventing her from swallowing.
She wondered how an hour and a half could have passed by so very quickly.
Before she was ready, she found herself steering the minivan up a winding drive. Gravel crunched under the tires and colored light strobed across her vision. Lisbon breathed, and tried to slow her heart.
Every window in the Jorsten house was lit. Parked vehicles were clustered all over the property, spilling from the driveway into the yard – police cruisers, a dark sedan and a big black van, Jane's own beloved little sports car.
Lisbon parked next to the van.
A flash of red lit the side of the vehicle, and she saw the word "CORONER."
Lisbon's hand was sweaty on the door handle. Her legs shook as she climbed from the car.
Before she even had the door closed, there was movement up on the porch. A uniformed officer came jogging toward her across the dark lawn.
Lisbon's mind went blank. Everything else went still – even her heart.
The officer stopped in front of her, breathless.
Somehow, Lisbon swallowed past the rock.
She squared her shoulders, and faced him.