I flipped the piece of gum throughout the walls of my mouth. My restless eyes scanned the room as the "teacher" talked through the daily announcement. He had his glasses propped on his long nose and his caterpillar like mustache leaching under his bird beak. I rolled my eyes. My time could be better spent elsewhere. I glanced over at Thomas who had his backpack perched on his a lap and a phone in his hands.
My fingers flew across the blackberry keypad and I gave Thomas the nod. I took a peak at my biology teacher who was still engrossed in his speech. Thomas slightly opened his bag and grabbed his cell phone to see what was on the glowing screen.
Why does this class make me want to die?
He smiled, laughing silently. He turned to nod in agreement with me, allowing his fingers to glide across his keyboard in a reply.
I'm with ya sister.
"Who are you texting?" Will whispered, telling me that my phone was too obvious.
"Nobody," I simply replied.
Suddenly a girl walked into the class, handing my teacher a note. "Miley?" he said, turning to face me. I got up cautiously and walked towards him to get the note. His face looked sympathetic, and he nodded at me. I looked at the note, which told me I needed to go to the guidance office. Now.
"Take your things with you," I nodded slowly, walking back to my desk. The class chorused a couple 'oohh' noises, while others just stared at me confused.
I walked out of the classroom, deciding to take a detour to my locker. On the way there, I ran into Nick. He smiled at me, making me burn inside and out.
"Where you going?"
"Why are you late?" We both talked at the same time, not hearing what the other person said.
"Okay, where are you going?" he chuckled, taking the note from my outstretched hand. His face grew grim.
"What's wrong? Why did you just give me that look – it's the same look my teacher gave me…" my voice trailed as I wondered what could possibly be happening. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, but decided against looking at it.
"I really don't want to tell you something and it be wrong, but this kind of note where it says to come 'immediately' is not a very good note. It usually means," he paused before continuing. I had to nod and put my hand on his shoulder for him to continue. "It normally means someone died."
My face went blank, trying to imagine what or whom this note could be talking about. Nowadays, this note could be referring to anyone, since accidents are so common.
Nick quickly rephrased his response. "Or, this means someone is just hurt, doesn't always mean they are dead!" it didn't matter whether they were whatever they were, it just meant that I knew I'd be hurting.
"I gotta go," I started walking away from him, leaving him to stare after me in the empty hallway.
The rest of the walk to the guidance office was a silent, mournful one. I tried to think of who it could be, but no name came to mind. I just kept hoping it wasn't my dad, who had continuous diabetes and heart issues.
"Hello, Miley?" my guidance counselor met me at the door, her hand placed on the small of my back. She guided me into her office, signaling for me to sit down on the couch. It's funny how one second it's all fun and games, and the next someone is seriously hurt – possibly dead.
"Hi, why am I getting pulled out of class?" I was nervous, and probably shaking at this point as I waited for her answer. Though, I honestly didn't want to know.
"I have very grave news for you," she smiled weakly, holding her hand out for me to take it. I did. "You see, last night, a family friend, Jacob, was hit by a drunk driver on his way home. He just slipped out of his coma this morning, and couldn't make it. I'm terribly sorry, you brother told me how good of a friend he was to him, and you," she came closer to meet, fully embracing me in a hug. I was in shock, not knowing what to say. Jacob, the boy who knew me all too well, and my brothers best friend. The guy who would help him, and stand up for him no matter what. The guy who beat up my ex boyfriend because he was stalking me after we broke up. The same guy who was my shoulder to cry on when my grandpa died. Jacob, the first boy I thought I had been in love with.
"Would you like someone to come pick you up?" the counselor looked concern, picking the phone up in her hand. I shook my head no.
"I have a history test fifth period, that I cannot miss," I heard my voice crack slightly as I looked away.
"Okay, but you know you could always take it later. This is a really big and unfortunate thing, and you can take as much time off as you need to recover. This is a very traumatizing and serious thing," her hand rubbed my back lightly, trying to give me comfort.
The bell rung, signaling the start of third period. "Would you like to go back to class?" the teacher looked at me. I shook my head.
"Can I wait until lunch? Just, lay down or…" my voice trailed off and she took me in her arms once again. I began again. "Can I call my brother?"
"Yes of course sweetie," she hurried over to her phone, typing in the area code before handing it to me. I typed in his number that I knew by heart, allowing it to ring. He answered on the second one.
"Miles," he breathed out.
"Trace," I choked on my own words, wishing he were there to hold me up. That Jacob was here to hold me up.
"Are you alright baby girl?" his voice was a whisper, but all the more powerful.
"Why did they do this, why him?" the guidance counselor left the room, leaving me to wallow in my own sadness, and finally break to the point of tears.
"Sometimes it's God's plan to take them early, Miley, there's nothing we could have done, it's just a terrible accident," even though Trace was acting all mighty and tough, I could sense the sadness in his own voice. As much as he didn't want to say, Jacob was always a brother like figure, and much more than a best friend. We both loved him…
"I just, don't get why they had to take him now. He had so much going for him, so much to live for!" Again, my voice cracking as I tried to convince myself it was all a dream.
"Calm down Miles, I'll be coming up this weekend for his funeral, and we will talk some more then," I nodded, even though he wouldn't be able to see it, but he still knew I did as he continued on. "Stay strong for me please. I've got to go. I love you Miles."
"I love you too Trace, see you soon," I heard the dial tone. Shivers went down my spine as the tears spilled over my cheeks. I couldn't take this. It didn't seem fair for God to take the person I had loved most.
I sucked in a long breath, telling the teacher I was going to just lay down for a while. She nodded, giving me a note that she said would work as a pass for the rest of the day if I did want to indeed leave later on. I thanked her, laying down on the couch in her office and slowly shutting my eyes. I couldn't help but think of Jacob, the guy who was so perfect for me and my family in so many ways.
Not only was he the backbone to my brother and my life, but also got my parents to be more involved with each other. My parents don't show that much PDA or even hold hands. And just like many parents, they get stressed and angry sometimes. But every time my dad has to go out of town for business, he'll write a love letter to my mom before, and leave it on her dresser waiting for her to find it - all Jacob's idea.
When I was younger, he would take me to the park while I watched him and my brother play catch. Occasionally people would walk by and watch, because he was a twelve year old boy who could throw the ball from home plate to center field on his knees. And next to him, was my brother who could pitch the ball faster than other boy in the state his age, and even a few years older. The movement on his ball made people stop and stare, dazed and confused as to the location of the ball. If there was one thing I learned from Jacob, it was to do what others won't today, so you can do what they can't tomorrow.
"Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets just love. We can dance until we die, you and I, we'll be young forever…" I hummed allowing my eyelids to close and engulf me into a painful sleep. Moments later, I was getting flashbacks of his life. The first time he stood up for me – the first time he was there for Trace, telling kids to back off. I couldn't help but remember the time they started a band, thinking that would get them girlfriends. Little did they know there was a facebook group talking about how hot they were, and who would date them. I even joined in (for Jacob's purpose really, and to support my bro) just for kicks.
I loved him – I always had, and I always will. People say time fixes everything, but I beg to differ. How can time heal wounds that have been cut so deep, your bones are scraped? Your heart has been damaged, almost cut open entirely and removed.
…
4 months ago…
"Wait, so you got into the fancy amazing athletic boarding school in Florida?" Jacob was grinning from ear to ear, genuinely happy for Trace.
"Yeah, I did," Trace's eyes glazed over as he began to throw popcorn into his mouth.
"Why aren't you smiling?" Jacob questioned, turning to look at me and wink playfully – causing my heart to jump.
"Just, having a rough week. The music isn't coming, and I just can't get this song out of my head – yet I can't find the words and damnit life just sucks right now," Trace shook his head, placing his head into his hands.
Jacob turned to look at him, slapping him on the back and cracking a joke originally made by Will Ferrell. He couldn't watch Trace suffer, so he had to do everything he could to make him better.
"Okay, we're going to go paintballing, hit up the movies and see Badass or something, and then hit up the rec center and watch the girls basketball tryouts. Sound like a plan?" Trace raised his head at the words paintballing and go, smiling at his best friend.
Trace didn't know that Jacob's grandma, the woman who practically raised him, had died that morning of a stroke. Jacob kept my brothers happiness first, one of the best qualities about him – he was truly selfless.
"Come on girly, you're coming to," Jacob took a hold of my hand, pulling me off the couch and slinging me over his back, growling and heading to the door.
"AH!" I yelled, laughing. "Put me down! Pwease!" he chuckled, slowly removing me from his back, and moving me to a bridal style position, until then lightly placing me on the ground. Trace stood grinning at his best friend smiling at me like I was the best thing that inhabited the universe – and to me, he truly was the best thing in my life.
"You're my best friend too, is that weird?" I looked at Jacob, question lingering my eyes.
His smile grew, and he placed a hand on my shoulder rubbing it slightly. "No, that's not weird at all Mi, I'm flattered thank you," he kissed my cheek, further allowing me to love everything about him.
I woke up to tears pouring down my face, getting my shirt nice and salt watered. I stood up, walking out of her office, wiping my face with the back of my palm, heading to my locker so I could leave this place.
Of course, I would run into someone along the way.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, hurriedly continuing to walk to my locker, not acknowledging the boy standing behind me.
"Miley," he whispered, making me stop.
"What," I almost groaned, wiping away more tears from my pink cheeks.
The bell rung, making me hide my face and continue walking away. I was suddenly stopped again, with a sweatshirt being placed over my head making me come to a halt.
"What are you doing?" I hissed.
"Helping you out, I want to talk," his face showed nothing but sincerity – well, the parts that I could see of it anyway.
I pulled the sweatshirt all the way on, pulling the hood over my head and took a seat on the staircase, waiting for the bell to ring and the fourth period to start. Nick had my lunch, so neither of us would be late for anything if we just stayed here.
"Why are you helping me?" my voice quivered, the tears cascading down my plump cheeks, making my eyes even redder.
"Because I care about you, why don't you get that?" he replied, clearly frustrated – for whatever reason, it was unknown.
Many of my friends kept walking by, completely ignoring the intense situation-taking place on the stairs. Jason walked by with Marcus by his side, both looking startled and almost angry.
"Superstar," Marcus said, coming closer to me, seeing the bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks. "What did you do to her?" Marcus grumbled, suddenly becoming taller. That was until Nick stood up, then showing all his glory – but Marcus didn't skip a beat, as he stood strong not being intimidated.
"I didn't do anything, she came to me," Nick sounded mad as well.
"Okay, let's just take a step back guys," Jason came in between then, finally catching the attention of Nick.
"You," he mumbled, balling up his fists. Honestly, I figured it was his reaction from homecoming and how I left with Jay, but I couldn't read his mind.
"Marcus, Jay, I'll text you guys later okay?" they nodded, stalking off involuntarily since they didn't quite have the luxury of fourth lunch.
"Now are you going to tell me what happened during the guidance meeting?" Nick tried to take my hand in his, but I pulled away.
"It's not your problem," I mumbled, turning away from him.
"Miley, why won't you let me help you? I just want to help you," his voice slowly rose to almost shouting.
"Didn't seem like it last night," my lips were hardly moving as I said this.
"What?" he questioned, obviously confused.
"Never mind," I shook my head, getting up and heading for the cafeteria.
Nick slowly trailed behind me, carrying my backpack.
"Just go back to your friends, I'll go back to mine," I shuffled back to take my bag from him, turning my back to him again.
"Oh, you mean those friends who didn't stop to ask what was wrong with you? Yeah, cause they're the best for you right now," I turned around glaring at him.
We were stopped in the middle of the hallway, in front of the lunch room. "What's your problem? Why do you need to do something for me? Like I'm a charity or something? Just leave me alone," shaking my head, I stomped off in the other direction of the food and headed towards the bleachers.
….
"Dylan, please pick up," she left another voicemail for her supposed best friend.
I laid back against the seats behind me, just staring off into the sky. For all I know, I'll never find someone in this world like him again – no person that can be there for me on the same level. I still haven't found anyone who treated Trace nearly as well as that.
The sound of footsteps made me sigh, waiting to see who it would be – although I had a feeling.
"Miley, please," Nick sighed as he walked up the stairs to meet me, never averting his gazing.
"Fine, say what you need to say, then just go back to something you actually want to do," I wiped away more tears that began to come out again.
"There's not much I need to say, I just," he paused, rearranging the thoughts in his head. "I want to be here for you," he looked deeply into my eyes. All I could see was sincerity, and sympathy.
I collapsed into his arms, finally allowing myself to completely break down. Finally letting the news of Jacob's death consumes my whole body, heart, mind and soul.
His arms were securely wrapped around my frame, my entire body balled on top. I was on his lap, my head glued to his chest, staining his shirt with warm tears.
He stroked my messy hair, just allowing me to fully break down in his arms. No words were needed, and he didn't ask for an explanation. All he wanted, was to be there for me.
I could hear the bell ring from where we were currently seated, alerting us that our lunch period was over – and neither of us had eaten.
"Come with me, I'll take you out okay?" at first I was a little hesitant, seeing the look he had in his eyes. They were cautious, but so very alluring at the same time.
I nodded, taking his hand that was outstretched to me. I followed him into the parking lot, walking towards his car. He unlocked the door, opening it for me. I mumbled a thank you, sliding into the passenger seat.
"Where are you taking me?" I turned to him, while he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Panera, it's your favorite right?" I nodded, confused as to how he knew that.
He saw the look on my face, answering my internal question. "I talked to Kasey," I looked away. It still didn't make me understand. All it did was make me mad, but it's irrelavent. I don't care.
"Okay," I responded, looking the other way.
He turned the radio on, the everything station. Taylor Swift's 'Fifteen' rung throughout the car.
"On your very first date and he's got a car, now you feel like flying," Nick quickly switched the station feeling uncomfortable for whatever reason. All I knew, was it was about Brooke.
…
"I'll have a cinnamon bagel and a coke please," Nick was at the cashier ordering for us.
I wasn't hungry, but he made me get something anyways. After he sat down with the food, he slid the tray over to me at the table, taking a seat across from me.
"Would you like to talk about it?" I took a sip from my coke, not sure what to do.
"Talk about what, I really don't know why you took me here," I tried shaking him off, not sure I could trust him. A girl from across the room was staring right at Nick, showing cleavage and just waiting for him to turn over and check her out.
Surprising me, Nick's eyes stayed locked on mine. He took my hand, nodding for me to speak. "You can trust me," he said.
After a few moments, I finally spoke. "That girl is looking at you, you know that right? She's going to explode if you don't at least give her a nod."
"Yeah, but why would I focus on anything less than beautiful, when its right in front of me," Nick's eyes shined at he nonchalantly shook the girls looks away.
"Miley?" I heard the voice from the table behind me call out. There seated was Dylan, alone.
"What are you doing here?" I stood up, looking at him waiting for an explanation. And why he didn't tell me sooner, or that he wasn't there for me.
Nick sat staring at us, fuming.
"I could ask you the same question," he retorted, anger rising.
"Why didn't you call me back?" I stepped closer, noticing the looks of the people around me – I didn't want a public scene.
"Why did you answer when I first called?"
"Cause I was talking to Trace, wondering if he'd come back for the funeral," I couldn't help but get teary eyed.
Dylan noticed, taking a step closer to me, waiting for me to just collapse into his arms. Not this time.
Meanwhile, Nick sat there watching as Dylan led me on with his eyes – as I just waited for him tell me he was sorry and that he would be there for me.
"I don't know why you're so mad about this," I shook my head, not happy with his reply.
"What are you even talking about? He was my best friend!"
"No, he was Trace's best friend – he didn't like you, he just had to be nice to his best friend's sister!" The words slowly crumbled me, as I took as many steps away from Dylan as I could. "I'm the one that has always been there for you, and loved you unconditionally! And now you're running to this guy!" Dylan pointed at Nick, who was now standing behind me, helping me keep my balance.
"Don't bring him into this, it's between you and me," I put my hand on Nick's chest, disabling him from stepping in between Dylan and I. Nick's fist clenched beside him, his arm slightly touching mine, trying to contain himself from just pulling me away – the look on his face pained.
"How can I not bring him into this? I'm your freaking best friend Miley, yet you go off to him first? And then you go off telling everybody how upset over Jacob you are, when you did not have the relationship you say you had with him! You must be mistaking him with me," Dylan's voice was harsh at the end, as he shook his head walking away from me. What ultimately felt like him walking out of my life, in the time where I needed that best friend.
"So much for being my best friend," I mumbled, sitting down in the booth, my eyes trickling with tears.
Nick looked shocked at my current state, taking a seat next to me, taking my hand and placing it in his. At this point, I didn't have enough energy to even attempt to stop him. If Dylan wasn't going to be there the way that Jacob was, I needed someone else like him. Not someone to replace him, but someone that could possibly help me heal the hole I've just made today, inside of my heart.
"Would you miss out on a night with the boys just to hold your girlfriend's hand?" I turned to him, breathing out my question that I knew would help answer this aching inquiry I had.
Nick looked almost uncomfortable to answer this, but he did none the less, with a smile on his face. "If its your hand I'd be holding, yeah. Any day," he held onto my hand tighter, showing me that he meant it. His eyes didn't lie – couldn't lie.
The day continued on, him not asking me one question about what happened that morning. He held me, said all the sweet things at the right times, and reassured me every hour that it would be okay. I would make it through this, coming out stronger, and with a new friend by my side.
Ever since you went away my heart has never beat the same, and all that I can do... is just laugh. :) Soooo, I didn't quite have this finished on sunday night, so I couldn't post :( i know, i really wanted to post it since I got so many reviews! 10+ reviews on this one please, since I know you guys can do it and actually enjoy this story! I LOVE YOU ! Thank you so much for reading and telling me what you thought. Again, if you have any questions, please feel free to message me here, leave a review, or even message me on twitter (drpepperluvgurl) because i would be happy to answer! This chapter is 4k+ words alone without the authors note, and i really hope you guys have a lot to say. I bet you'll have more questions after this, and PLEASE ask. Thank you. You're truly an inspiration.
Emily. Whisper hello, i miss you quite terribly.