Author's Note: I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated! I've been kind of busy. First I stage managed/ gathered props for a children's play. It was both fun, and incredibly frustrating. Then I had computer issues and had to rewrite this chapter, but here it is, finally!
Disclaimer: do not own Glee or P!nk's songs, obviously.
Another AN: Mercedes singing: bold, Kurt singing: italics, Kurt & Mercedes: bold italics
"I'll just get us some water, be back in a sec!" Rachel said, leaving her room and heading toward the kitchen.
Kurt looked around at Rachel's bedroom. He once described it as the place where "Holly Hobby and Strawberry Shortcake come to hook up". To him the description still fit perfectly. He and Mercedes had gone over to Rachel's house to practice their P!nk songs for Glee club. Rachel said her dads had gotten tickets to a touring production of La Cage Aux Folles so they would have the house to themselves. Rachel's dads probably would not mind the singing, considering all the money they spent on her singing lessons, but Kurt and Mercedes were grateful that they were not there. Rachel's dads might not like the profanity in the song they had in mind. They were not planning on rehearsing. Their plan was to talk, and sing, to Rachel. Kurt and Mercedes had something to say that she needed to hear.
"You know, this whole P!nk assignment reminded of the alcohol awareness rally you told me about." Kurt said to Mercedes, "If you were looking for a song that wouldn't promote drinking, why did you perform Tik Tok instead of P!nk's Sober?"
"We considered it, but there was gonna be a diva smackdown between me, Santana, and Rachel over who got to sing it. In the end Mr. Schue decided to go with Brittany's idea, you know she's been begging to do a Ke$ha song since the beginning of the year."
"So she got her wish, and then went full Exorcist on Rachel's face in front of the whole school."
"Worst moment of my life!" said Rachel walking back into her room handing bottles of water to Kurt and Mercedes. "I am never drinking, nor giving anyone alcohol ever again!"
As she sat down on the edge of her bed Rachel pulled out her "idea notebook".
"I was thinking of choosing either I Don't Believe You because it's super emotional and I can cry while singing it or It's All Your Fault because this whole mess between Finn and I truly is his fault. If he hadn't lied to me about sleeping with Skanktana I wouldn't have made out with Puck and we would still be together!"
Kurt and Mercedes gave each other the look. It was the look they always give each other when Rachel rambles on about something.
"Rachel, Mercedes and I want to talk to you about something." Kurt began. "At the beginning of the year the two of us would never imagine we would actually be friends with you, but now we are and we can't keep watching you do this to yourself. You can't keep obsessing over Finn like this. It only leads to heartache, trust me, I know. Your self-esteem cannot depend on whether he's dating you or not. Rachel, this is your Finntervention."
"You also need to stop comparing yourself to Quinn.", said Mercedes. "You almost got a nose job because of that girl! You need to accept that you will never be like her, and trust me that is a good thing. This isn't just a Finntervention, it's a Quinntervention."
"It's a Fuinntervention.", said Kurt.
"Look, I know you guys mean well," said Rachel, "but Finn's my true love."
"Who left you for the girl who cheated on him and got knocked up by his best friend!" yelled Kurt. "Look he's my stepbrother now and I love him in a platonic family way, but he can be a real dumbass and a jerk sometimes. He left you for kissing Puck, but went back to the girl who slept with him. It is not worth wasting your time mooning over him. You can't just wait, hoping he'll fall in love with you again. You need to move on Rachel."
"Quinn is just as bad as Finn, if not worse" began Mercedes, "She may be beautiful and popular, but everything about her is fake, as we all learned from the whole 'Lucy Caboosey' fiasco. I thought we were friends. She comforted me after I passed out from not eating, I let her stay with me when she had nobody to turn to, and I was in the delivery room when she had Beth. But do you think that fake nosed bitch spoke one word to me after having her kid? It's like she wanted to forget everything that happened when she was pregnant, including our friendship. I know you don't want to be the kind of person who turns her back on someone who helped her through some really hard times."
"We wanted to sing this song to you so you'll know you don't have to base your self-image on what some guy thinks of you, or what some girl looks like." Kurt said as he put a cd into Rachel's stereo. "I know you can be selfish and a bit abrasive, but underneath the Broadway diva attitude I know you have a good heart. That's why Mercedes and I care about you."
Kurt pushed play, and as the music began Mercedes started singing.
Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Then Kurt joined in.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around
The two of them sat down next to Rachel on her bed.
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me
Mercedes grabbed Rachel's hand and led her over to her vanity, pointing at Rachel's reflection in the mirror and singing:
You're so mean when you talk
About yourself. You are wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.
Kurt then grabbed Rachel and started to dance with her.
So complicated,
Look happy, You'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same
Mercedes joined their dance.
The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line and we try, try, try, but we try too hard
And it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?
By now all three were singing the last chorus. Rachel was crying, and this wasn't the typical melodramatic crying Rachel did when singing for Glee club. She was truly touched at how Kurt and Mercedes actually cared for her.
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing you're fucking perfect to me
When the song ended Rachel hugged Kurt and Mercedes tightly.
"Thank you so much you guys" said Rachel through her tears, "I haven't been that great to either of you lately, yet you still cared enough to do this for me!"
"It's just what friends do." Kurt replied simply.
"Oh Kurt, I'm so sorry for trying to date Blaine when I knew you liked him. I was just so desperate and felt so bad about myself that I'd go for anybody, even a confused gay guy."
"Seeing as how Blaine and I are together now, I can forgive you. If the two of you had started dating, however, I might have strangled you with a pair of your leg warmers!"
All three of them laughed, and finally discussed their ideas for their P!nk performances.
"I know the perfect song for you tell Finn you don't need him and just plain don't care anymore.", said Mercedes.
"And I have this great outfit idea that will turn you from school girl to badass chick!", said Kurt.
"How are you going to do that?"
"I watch True Blood," Kurt explained, "If they can turn Sookie Stackhouse into a tough biker chick, I'm sure I can do the same for Rachel Berry!"
To Be Continued….
Please Review, I might not be inspired to continue if I don't get any!
By the way, has anybody seen the episode of True Blood I referenced? And can you guess what song Rachel will sing?