They say the home is where the heart is – I guess I haven't found my home.

Plink. Plink. Plink.

The staccato drops of water were annoyingly loud in the buzzing chatter of the classroom. I tried to ignore them and was rewards for my endeavors by a particularly large cold drop plopping on my neck, stinging like a mosquito bite.

"Settle down class! I understand that all of you are very excited for the pep rally but we still have thirty minutes left of class time!" the teacher look distressed, her hair frizzy probably because of the humidity and sweat could be seen dripping off her forehead, the stress of teenagers probably too overwhelming.

It was the last period of the day for me, my nerves taking over my body. We had a really important basketball game today and the whole team would be featured in the winter sports pep rally we had in less than an hour.

Nick had been occupying my thoughts all, the image of him never escaping my sight. It seemed that everywhere I turned I would come face to face with him; if I didn't know any better I would think he was following me. But what guy would follow around a girl who keeps rejecting him? I know I wouldn't deal with that, she wouldn't be worth my time.

But its Nick I'm talking about – he's amazing. Sometimes I sit in class writing poems about him in my notebook, just wondering if he feels for me like I wish he did. I know that I broke it off and of course I know that it might have worked if I didn't stop it before it became something. Though, there's still that little voice in my head telling me that no matter how hard I try I won't get it right. There's always going to be that part of me that will mess up and go against what I know I should do. I'm the type of person to shut someone out before I give them chance.

I wish I could run away sometimes because I know everything I do is affecting the people around me. My best intentions are always … well, the way things play out.

If I could go back, I would tell Nick that I truly wish he met me ten years later when I was already successful, no doubts in my mind that he would stop me from living my dreams. I really think we could have been in love. Maybe it was just that whenever he touched my face with his tender hand I would close my eyes and feel the warmth of his body, my own shaking under his touch from want.

I want him to know I care.

Because in the end, that's what people look for. Did he care? Does she even think about me? Did he ever think we would last, or was I just a joke? Does she believe in me?Well, that is the golden question. Or questions rather. Too bad I'm too damaged to answer that.

Apparently putting everyone before you isn't the best way to go about high school.

I turned my focus to the board where my teacher had an expo marker in hand but not a single mark on the board. She was still busy yelling at students to be quiet. Again, these people don't care as much as I do.

Why is it that I always feel stronger about things than my peers do? And why don't these people understand why I feel that way?

Nick understood that.

…

"The Lady Knights basketball team!" coach Wooten announced on the microphone, the crowd going wild. I was the second to last person in the line as we entered the gym at a fast pace. My body felt a pull as we passed the junior section, Nick standing front and center in the second row of people.

He smiled at me, nodding. I returned a quick smile, his eyes showing just how hurt he was.

I just wanna fix it somehow.

"Geez you should get a room," Sydney whispered into my ear. I shook my head lightly pushing her away as the cheers began to die down.

"Hey watch it," I said. I glared at her, making sure she backed down. I didn't want to get into it at the pep rally where we would be on the court for a majority of the time where everyone in the school could see us. Especially Nick.

"Our Varsity Boys basketball team! Go Knights!" the announcer said, continuing to announce all the other winter sports teams – although there wasn't that many.

I sat down next to the rest of my team watching all the people cheering as the other teams walked in. The gym seemed so empty… yet it was crowded with the whole school. Though all I wanted to do was go home and curl up on my bed.

I scanned the bleachers looking for the only person who could make me want to stay her, or at least make me feel good about being here and doing what I'm doing.

He was looking straight at me, his eyes sparkling and his skin glowing with the lights hitting him perfectly. I couldn't find the will power to look away.

This happened for the next twenty minutes – or at least that was how long it felt like.

"Please." Nick touched my back, speaking to me in a low, soft voice.

"Not here Nick." I tried to pull away from him, but again I couldn't find it in me to do it. We just stood there in practically the middle of the gym with our eyes locked on one another's.

"I miss you," he said. His brown eyes made me forget where I was and what I was doing. "You're killing me Miles."

"I know," I whispered, putting my head down.

He groaned. "I need you to tell me that you miss me too, and that you feel the pull between us I just can't explain what it is." Pause. "I need to hear your voice every day or else it seems worthless. Honestly, you're my best friend."

"Cause if it takes a little bit longer, don't you lose faith, I'll make you stronger. I won't run away." His voice got softer, almost inaudible. "I won't leave you."

I kept staring at him as Ryan pulled me away from Nick, taking me to an unknown destination. Nick didn't break our gaze, his eyes staying locked on just me while his hands stayed at his sides – no longer on my shoulder. No longer making me excited or safe.

….

"Ah!" The yell of my teammate filled the musty room.

"Oh no, I think she broke something!" Sydney yelled.

"No, it's just a sprain. If it was broken, she'd be withering and yelling more."

Everyone turned to look at me. I shrugged and walked over to the sidelines picking up my water bottle. I took a big chug, gulping it down quickly as my eyes closed.

All of my team was surrounding Hayley who was on the ground holding her ankle with tears streaming down her face.

"Not right before our big game," she was mumbling to herself.

"Come on, lets get you to the trainer," my coach said, lifting her up bridal style and rushing out of the gym. "Keep warming up!" he yelled as the door slammed behind him.

"I can't believe that happened," Sydney said. Everyone nodded in agreement, still shocked from the display.

"Well," Cara, our manager, said. "Maybe we should stop focusing on the stupid game and be more concerned about the pep rally we just had. Did you see the way Brandon maneuvered in those stands? Shirtless? Woo!"

"Hey, he's my friend okay. I don't appreciate talking about him in such vulgar terms their Cara." She just looked at me. There I go again, making other people think I'm crazy and a party pooper. You know what? At my old school, I was the life of the party and everyone wanted to be around me because I was so funny!

Why are people around here so much different? "Never mind, I was just messing. He looked like Ryan Reynolds out there didn't he." They all nodded and turned away diving into a conversation of how hot the senior class is this year.

People get faker in middle school, making them lose themselves in high school. I knew that when people turned on me in junior high that I would get the last laugh in high school when they realized I was right. I've always been right.

Maybe that's where I first went wrong.

The trainer ran back into the room with our coach by his side. Coach was pissed.

"What happened? I leave you girls alone to warm up for just five minutes and someone breaks something?" coach fumed.

Everyone stayed quiet hoping that nobody would rat anyone out about what happened. This was going to be a long night.

And our game hadn't even started yet.

Question: Have you ever felt like nobody understands you?

It's been almost a month. I'm truly sorry. It's the start of the last quarter of the year and I have so many projects n such to do. But I doubt you guys wanna hear excuses. So I am going to have 26 chapters in this story and then it will be over. I have the last chapters outlined and in the writing stage, and this story will be finished before June. Because if its not then...well nevermind. Ha. Okay, so tell me what you thought and what you think will happen. If I get a lot of positive feedback on the next few chapters then i could write a sequel which would come in the Fall of 2011. Be excited!

Emily. Whisper hello, i miss you quite terribly.