I don't own Bones, I know I have 206 in my body, but the Bones from Fox isn't mine.

I will hopefully post two of these a week, usually on Mondays. One from Brennan's point of view and the other from Booth's point of view.

This post is only half of the season, because it was getting too long,so I decided to do half the season this week, and half next week.

Booth's point of view

The Confusion in the Healing

During the six weeks that I have been out of work, I have discovered that it is easier to deny my feelings for Bones, than voice how I feel. If I continued to talk about my coma dream, I would never be able to go back to work, so I talked about everything else, and soon found myself fit for duty. I waited at Bones' office, because I knew she would come there first.

She came into the office, and sat on me. I had fallen asleep on her couch. As soon as I saw her, I pulled her into my arms. Her scent overwhelmed me. I remember that scent. That Bones scent. It was just like my dream, and all those feelings inundated my senses. I held her a little too long then I quickly pulled away from her.

Wow, this is going to be hard. I still love her. No matter how much time has passed, and no matter how much therapy, I still love her.

Angela walks into the office and , tells us about bodies buried under the Taversham fountain. She says that this psychic, named Avalon, told her Bones was pregnant in my dream.

I couldn't look at Bones, because if I did I would have told her. I would have told her I loved her, and I want to have children. I want to know that my child is growing inside her. I want to be with her forever. Therefore, I look at the floor, and avoid her eyes.

I told her we have to go check it out, because I need something to do. She agrees.

When we show up at the fountain, she criticizes my clothes. I forgot the socks, my belt buckle, and my tie. I'll get it, I just need time to adjust.

We brought Avalon in for questioning, and she tells me that I'm worried I lost something. She's right, I lost the happiness I felt in the dream. Then she says, "You never lost anything in that coma, Agent Booth. You gained something." Should I believe her?

I talked to Cam today, and she knew I was in love with Bones. She told me something that really bothers me. She said, "Be sure about your feelings because if you crack that shell, and you change your mind, she'll die of loneliness before she'll ever trust anyone again."

Should I tell her?

First, try. I chickened out.

Met Bones and Angela in front of the Diner today, and Angela kissed me on the forehead. Bones asked me if I wanted her to kiss me on the forehead. I said yes, closed my eyes and waited, but she laughed and walked away. That really hurt.

Sweets came to my office and showed me pictures of my brain. He told me that before the operation, I wasn't in love with Bones, but during my coma I was. He had copies of my scans that were taken three days ago, and the same area is still lit up.

He said, "Now, I think you and I both know that Dr. Brennan's hyper-rationality is really just a cover for a very vulnerable and sensitive core. So, if you breach those defenses and it turns out you don't really love her… " and he left.

What the hell, am I supposed to do?

I hate this, I feel like I'm falling apart. I know I love her, I know it. I remember that first kiss in the rain, I remember the first time I held her in my arms, and I remember holding her while we were skating. I remember the hug in the helicopter. I know I love her, so what do I do now?

I went to see Avalon again, and she told me Bones was in trouble, and I needed to go to her, so I left and went to get Bones. Avalon was right; the crazy doctor was trying to kill her. I shot him, but not before Bones was stabbed. He hit an artery, and she was bleeding severely. I put pressure on the cut and held her close until the ambulance came. I should have been there; I should have been taking care of her. I went to the hospital with her, but after, I had to go fill out paperwork on the shooting, so I left her at her apartment.

I know I love her; I'm going to tell her tonight.

We were walking down the street, outside the Diner, and I tried several times to tell her, but she kept walking away from me. Then a clown, who squirted me with water, interrupted us. I laughed, squeezed his nose, and shook his hand and Bones freaked out. I forgot that I hate clowns, and when she told me, I remembered, but it made me question my feelings for her again.

However, I told her anyway, but she looked at me with a scared look on her face, so I changed it to, in a professional you know atta-girl kinda way.

Then she says the same thing back to me. I'm hopeless, why is this so difficult for me? Why am I having so much trouble telling her? Maybe everyone's right, and it is a side effect of my coma, but it feels so real.

Afterwards, we went to arrest Fargood, and met Avalon at the police station.

She told me, "You two are going to keep doing things as usual."

I said, "Sometimes you gotta settle for second best."

Then she says, "By the way, my cards tell me this all works out eventually."

Well if it all works out eventually, I guess I can wait until tomorrow.

.

Bones got a Rolex from her publisher. A Rolex, can you imagine? I don't really mind how much money she has, because she doesn't act that way. I know she was one of the anonymous donors that gave money to Wendell so he could stay. However, I also know she won't mention it, that is why her money doesn't bother me.

Bones wants me to teach her about plumbing, so I am going to have her come over after the case is ended, and teach her.

Bones bought me a book today, and then told me I had to pay her back. Maybe I was wrong about that money thing.

She came over tonight to help me fix my plumbing. It was difficult for me to be under that sink with her so close to me. I could smell her hair, and the slight scent of perfume, for a moment it was overwhelming.

When her hand touched mine, I felt a shock go through my system. I tried to tell her again, but when I look at her, I can't think. I feel like I'm in high school again, and trying to ask the head cheerleader out on a date. She even gave me a way to start, by saying that she feels close to me, but I froze, and didn't talk about the possibility of us.

The pipe we fixed worked great, but just after I turned on the water, another pipe started spraying water all over us. She went home to change, and I am going to try to tackle the other pipe tomorrow, alone. I don't think I could spend another night under the sink with Bones.

.

Bones didn't have sex until she was 22, I couldn't believe it. The only thing is the way she described it made it sound like she was taking a class, instead of making love. I think the first time should be with someone you love. I wonder if she has ever experienced that? I would like to show her some day.

Every day I learn something new about Bones. Today she held this young girl's hand while she cried over her boyfriend. I know some people think she is cold, but I see the real Bones that she hides from everyone else, and I know how kind and thoughtful she is.

.

Rebecca needed someone to watch Parker today, and I had to bring him to work with me. He started this whole conversation about me getting a girlfriend with every female in the lab. Sweets told me that Parker is learning to identify with his gender parent. Me. He's looking at me to see his sexual future, and I should show him that I lead a full and rewarding life, so I asked Bones to be my village and help me in raising Parker.

I also had an ulterior motive, in that I wanted to spend some time with her outside of the work setting. This was the perfect opportunity. It was like a date without really being a date. Just as I suspected we had an awesome time. She is so scared of commitment, that I wonder what she would do if I approached her about going out on a date with me?

During dinner, Parker asks Bones to be my girlfriend. She hesitated a second before saying that it would be inappropriate because we work together. Parker said that was a stupid reason, I think I agree with him, why did I ever draw that line?

Well it all turns out that his friend's dad got married and they bought a house with a pool, so Parker thinks, if I get a girlfriend then we will get a pool too. Bones solved the problem by giving me a key to her pool that Parker and I can use it anytime we want.

.

Bones is dating my boss, Assistant Director Hacker. I asked her not to, because I thought it was a little weird, but she didn't listen, as usual. She said that she and Hacker are attracted to each other, and they will not be thinking of me when they are together. That statement hurt my feelings.

It was nice to spend time with her outside of work last week, and we told Parker we would do it again sometime in the future.

Hacker came to see me today, and asked me about Bones. I think he really likes her, and it really bothers me. I still haven't sorted out my feelings for her yet. I don't know if my feelings are a result of my surgery, or really true, and until I sort that out, I can't let myself become too attached to her.

As he was leaving the office, he mentioned my mother's meatloaf, and how I should eat the egg in the middle.

I was infuriated; how dare Bones tell, him that story. I told her that, when we were alone in my apartment, and it was meant to be only between us. What's ours is ours. She should know that. I need to talk to her. I hope she understands.

Bones invited me to be her guest at the Anok exhibit tomorrow. I can't believe it. She was supposed to bring Hacker, but changed her mind and invited me instead.

Wow, what a night! Bones looked gorgeous, and she took me down to a preview of the exhibit. We were talking about what a great find it was, and how she changed history.

She told me that she hates these things, and as I moved closer to her to explain how good she was at it, and how she changed history, I felt that overwhelming feeling again. I stepped closer, and the air between us seemed to take on an electric charge. I couldn't stop myself from drawing closer to her. Her eyes had me mesmerized, and as I drew closer, I felt myself leaning in to kiss her. I wanted to pull her in and never let her go.

Angela came into the room, to tell us the Ambassador is about to speak, and the moment was gone.

She reached up to straighten my tie, and I pushed her hair back, as we turned to walk back to the ceremony.

That moment stayed on my mind the rest of the evening, and I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I watched her constantly, and by at the end of the evening, I was sure that she wanted this as much as I did.

I had a difficult time falling asleep last night.

.

I don't know what is happening to me. I can't do my job right, I can't tell Bones how I feel, and I can't tell when someone is lying to me. I should just give up. My brain has been a mess from the moment I woke from that coma.

Bones had to tell me that a suspect was lying today. What am I going to do? Maybe I should just give up.

We went out for drinks after solving the case, and I told her I'm losing it. When I woke up this morning, I didn't know if I liked brown sugar on my oatmeal.

Bones told me the next time I don't know something call her, but should I depend on her to save me? I am the man; I need to take care of her, not the other way around. She also told me to ask Sweets if I need help with a suspect, but that's my job. I can't even trust my gut anymore.

One thing I did notice today, was that Wendell is starting a relationship with Angela. Bones told me she didn't want to know about it.

.

I went to see Gordon Gordon today. I can't hit the broad side of a barn with my gun anymore, and I was hoping he could give me some advice. He hung around with us, for the whole week, and I still can't shoot any better. Why can't he just give me a pill or something?

I got frustrated with him and said, "They took out a brain tumor the size of a melon ball out of my head; I can't shoot straight; I can't tell if people are lying; I have to get dummy books just to do things. I'm at a complete loss with stuff."

He told me, "But not as a result of brain damage. When you were in a coma, you got a glimpse of another world."

"Right and how does that help me aim my gun?"

"Temperance Brennan. You're in love with her. You're building a world around her, a family."

He doesn't understand, "We're not compatible. She sees the world one way; I see it the other way."

"No of course, it's absolutely ludicrous the idea of you together, but the heart chooses what it chooses, doesn't it? We don't really have any say in the matter."

"She doesn't love me. I would know if she loved me."

"May I counsel patience on this front? Hope and patience."

"Right so, about my marksmanship certification – any advice?"

"Grow a set! Be a man, step up! She's your partner, for heaven's sake. The job you do together is highly dangerous; she counts on you for protection. So you'd damn well better protect her!"

"So that's your big psychiatric advice, just "grow a set"?"

"Indeed. When it comes to a man and his gun, a woman is the natural cure. Take Dr Brennan to this um, this shooting event of yours. You won't fail in front of her, trust me."

When I asked her, she said yes, she would. Strangely enough, she didn't even ask why.

I shot perfectly while she watched. Gordon Gordon was right, I love her, and I will never fail her. Never. That's why I know I have to wait to tell her. Gordon Gordon is right, I need hope and patience.

.

My Pops came to stay with me, but it didn't work out, so he had to go back to the retirement community. I love my Pops; he raised me after my father left.

He really likes Bones; he invited her to dinner every night, and kept saying things about us being together. He asked if I was gay, and he said he didn't raise me well, if I don't realize what I have in her.

Little does he know, I realize it, I just don't know what to do. I know she is afraid of strong feelings like love, and I'm afraid to scare her away. I'm afraid she will see my advances as a kind of assault, and I don't want to lose her, so I just leave things the way that they are. Like I told Avalon, sometimes you have to settle for second best, and right now, I have the second best scenario. If I approach her and she rejects me, I may lose her forever.

I don't know what I would do if I lost her, if I never saw her again. How would I handle not looking at those beautiful blue eyes, calling her on the phone for silly reasons, except to hear her voice, showing up at her door late at night with food, just so I can be close to her? If I approach her, and she rejects me, I will lose all that. I will lose everything.

Pops told me to follow my heart. He knows how I feel about her, and he wants me to be happy. I really do love him, but I can't do it yet, I know she isn't ready. Just a little more time.

.

Bones undressed me today, and I thought I was going to die. Why did it have to be her? It took everything I could do not to show her how I felt. My body was reacting to her closeness. I could smell her hair as she leaned over me to remove my tie. I started to recite the saints, so she wouldn't see my reaction to her, but when she knelt down onto the floor in front of me as she removed my pants, I almost lost it. I am so glad Cam walked into the room right then. The distraction was all I needed to get myself under control.

Bones never fails to impress me. The victim's mother is burying him on Christmas, alone, and Bones wants to go to the funeral. She was in tears as she told me. I can't believe what an incredible, loving woman she is.

We all had Christmas dinner together, at Bones' place. It was a great time with family and friends, and as I peeked at Bones, I realized that someday I would like to make this arrangement permanent.

.

This week we went to New Mexico to check out an alien death, no alien, but lots of strange people. Before we left, I drove Bones out to the desert to watch the stars. I always enjoyed the night sky, and thought it could be very romantic.

It didn't get romantic, but we did have a great time talking under the stars. I told Bones that aliens are nice anthropologists, but she wasn't allowed to probe me. We stayed there for a while, just talking and laughing. I had a real good time.

.

I think Bones may love me. I saw something in her eyes last night. The General Services Administration, seconded the lab and all the squints inside. I couldn't let them hold my people like that. I had to do something, so I shot out the front door, and walked inside.

Well they thought the case they were working on was JFK, and I found out there were two shooters, and the government covered it up. If they could cover something like that up, and lie to the whole world, what did they cover up while I worked as a sniper? Did I kill any innocent people? Did they create a false persona to lead me to think the person I was sent to kill was guilty, when they were really innocent? Did I commit murder instead of creating a safer place for us all to live? What type of man am I? How would I ever forgive myself for all those deaths?

All these questions and more tore at me, but Bones thought of one more experiment that she could try on the bones, to see if they really were JFK's. The experiment proved they weren't. I was so relieved that I pulled her into my arms. Wow that felt good. I love holding her near. As I pulled away I saw a look in her eyes, it was a look that I have wanted to see, for a long time. It was the look of affection, and I hope it was the look of love.