I don't own Bones, I know I have 206 in my body, but the Bones from Fox isn't mine.

There will be one more post for this series. I will post the final episode as a combined story.

Booth's point of view

The Discovery in the Rejection

I feel confused. I don't want to tell Hannah about Bones and her confession, but at the same time, I think that she should know. What do I say if she asks me if I love Bones? If she asks me, and I say no, is it still a lie, if I've hidden those feelings away? I will never act on them, I know I will never cheat on Hannah, but they are still there deep down inside me.

I talked to Sweets today, to ask if I should tell Hannah. He suggested that I tell Hannah, and then he made a comment about me still having feelings about Bones. I don't still love Bones, I love Hannah, I do. Sweets needs to mind his own business.

I talked to Hannah tonight, and she was very understanding. She asked me about how I felt; I told her that was in the past, and I don't feel that way anymore. It is getting easier and easier to push those feelings away, and talk only about Hannah. I just need to keep all interactions between Bones and me professional.

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I tried to go after Brodsky and got hurt. Afterward, I met Caroline, Bones, and Max at the diner. We talked about his escape. As I looked at Bones I realized that, I want to do what's right, but I don't know what that is. I don't want to hurt or disappointment anyone, so I think it's time for me to make a decision about Bones and Hannah. When Max's cab came, Bones walked him out. I miss her. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I should have waited. But, we can't live our lives on maybes.

I watched her walk out with her Dad; she is so beautiful. As I watched her out the window listening to a conch shell, I realized that I needed to decide what I am going to do. I really do love Hannah, but sometimes, when I look at Bones, my heart sinks, and I feel like I lost something special, and I feel empty inside.

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Bones finally agreed that monogamy is the right way for our society. This case was about a man who had three wives, and was cheating on them with a forth woman.

Bones and I finally feel comfortable together; I can feel some of the tension ease. We actually laughed today. Although it was slightly uncomfortable, I could tell we were on our way to working this out.

We met at the Founding Father's tonight for a celebratory drink. We were talking about the case and Bones asked me if the victim loved all his wives the same. I knew this was dangerous territory. Hell, I never should have gone to the Founding Fathers with her to begin with. My feelings are still too raw, and sitting there looking at her, I felt overwhelmed by the love that I have been trying to hide for so long.

I know I can't act on it, but it is so hard to hide it when I'm around her. I told her that you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person that you love the most, and when I said it I meant her, but I knew it could never happen. I knew I didn't want to go there.

However she continued to ask, and look at me with those blue eyes, and I was helpless to resist her. When she asked me, "What if you let that person get away?". I said that person is not going anywhere. I know I shouldn't have said it, but it just slipped out. I think she realized the tension at the same time I did, because she changed the subject.

I went home to Hannah, and after we had sex, and she fell asleep, I thought about what I was doing, and decided that I had to make a choice, and put one of them out of my heart forever. I needed to close myself off to one of them, but which one do I choose? Hannah makes me so happy, and life is so easy with her. Bones has caused me pain from the day I met her. I knew the answer, and I knew I had to act on it before it was too late, or before I changed my mind.

.

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I got drunk with Sweets tonight. He drove me nuts talking about Daisy. He said he wants to get married. He said he didn't want to be my age and end up like me. He said I led a sad life, because I couldn't find anyone to love me. He's right, I need to do something, and I told him I was going to ask Hannah to marry me.

We had a case first thing in the morning, and I had a hell of a hangover from last night's escapades with Sweets. I felt terrible. Bones and I met Hannah for lunch, and they both tried to get me to tell them what Sweets and I talked about. I was happy to see Angela walk into the diner, so we could change the subject.

Sweets and I were meeting later today to get the rings. I knew this was the right thing to do. I had to make a decision. I had to stop loving two women. After Bones confessed, I felt torn between both women, and I had to prove to Hannah that I loved her. I had to show her how committed I was to our relationship. I knew I had to marry her.

Sweets and I went to pick out the rings. I found a beautiful ring for Hannah. It cost more than two months salary, but I loved her and bought it anyway. The sales clerk told Sweets if he was more interested in the cost of the ring then maybe he shouldn't get married. That was when he changed his mind.

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I met Hannah at the reflecting pool near the Lincoln Memorial, the lights were shining, and she looked so beautiful. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. She asked me if I was looking for a good time, but I told her I wanted more.

I said, "I love you, Hannah, and when I met you, I really, honestly, wondered if I was ever going to meet anyone again. Marry me; I want you to be my wife."

She said, "I love you, I really do, but I can't. I'm just not the marrying kind."

I told her, "But, I am."

She said, "I know you are, and I thought we would have more time before we got to this, but I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Then she tried to ask me if we can forget the whole thing and go back to before I proposed. As if I could just be with her knowing that, she doesn't want to marry me. As if I could just forget the way I feel. She realized that that was impossible, and told me she would get out. She walked away from me, and I threw the ring in the pool.

I don't have to work tomorrow, so I am staying here, at the bar, as long as I want. Maybe if I get drunk enough I will forget about how, no one wants me. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, no one wants me. My father, Rebecca, Bones, and now Hannah. I'm so mad at the women in my life, because no matter how hard I try, I can never get it right.

Bones met me at the bar; Hannah called her. By the time, she showed up, I was drunk. I told her she could stay and drink with me or she can leave, and tomorrow I will get her a new FBI guy.

She stayed. I knew she would. That's what makes her Bones.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye and she looked so sad, but I couldn't offer her more. I already tried, and she said no. I can't go there again. I'm too angry right now. I need time. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy. Maybe I'm meant to be alone. Bones stayed with me until the bar closed. Then we both went home.

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Today is Valentine's Day, and I have no interest in celebrating it. It's been, a little over a week since Hannah left, so I don't need this hassle. The only memorable thing that happened on Valentine's Day was the St. Valentine's Day massacre, so I can't see the importance of the day.

Angela keeps trying to get me to be with someone, and it's annoying. At least Bones is alone too. Although she got several phone calls for dates, she turned them all down.

Bones met me at the driving range tonight. She brought machine guns and said they were a gift for me, because I remembered the Valentine's Day massacre. It was great, like old times, just us shooting targets together. She really does understand me.

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I met Bones while she was running today. I asked her if I could go to a lecture with her, but we got a case and had to cancel.

Bones keeps comparing me to Brodsky. She doesn't seem to understand that I did it under orders for my country, but he makes his own decisions. We are not the same.

Bones told me that Brodsky was bad, but I was good tonight. I don't remember a time when six words have ever made me feel so good. She also said she would always stand right beside me. Today was a good day.

.

There is a blizzard, and Bones and I are stuck in an elevator. Sweets is here, being his normal annoying self. He really pisses me off sometimes, like right now when he keeps talking about Bones and me.

Bones asked me if we should talk about us. I don't know if I'm ready. I am still angry.

I loved her so much, and it was so hard to move on and love Hannah. When Hannah turned me down it felt like Bones' rejection all over again. I knew Hannah never wanted to be married, but I really thought she would change her mind. I should have known, because we never had what Bones and I have. I never talked to her as I do Bones. I never wanted her as much as I wanted Bones. I never really moved on.

I hurt my back and Bones was giving me Tai massage, she touched me a little close to my groin, and I had to tell her to stop. I think if we ever do get together, it will be very hard to control myself.

Bones is different since she came back from Maluku. I thought I saw a difference, but we didn't talk to each other until now. While we were stuck in the elevator, we talked about how it would be possible to have a relationship. She brought up the possibility of making love, and I realized that she has grown since we first met, because she said making love, and not having sex.

She also said we would be great in bed. I think she is right; we both approach everything with such passion, that I think making love to Bones would be an incredible experience. However, I was concerned with what would happen next. I don't know if I can go to the next level with her, because we both have such different ideas about what a relationship is. I just don't know if it would work. Besides, I still feel angry about the idea of life, love and happiness.

After we got out of the elevator, Bones came to my place. She hadn't been there since Hannah left. We sat in the chairs, and talked about the way we feel. She told me that when we first met she was impervious, but now she is strong. She looked hopeful. I love that look on her face.

She spoke about the possibility of us being together. Therefore, I told her I wanted to write down a date when I thought we would both be ready, and then we burned them. I peeked over her shoulder while she was writing, and saw that she wrote, 'whenever he's ready'. I wonder when that will be.

.

I noticed today that I still have moments when I feel angry toward everyone. I am having a hard time accepting that Bones and I can have a relationship. The last time I thought we could be together, she crushed my heart. I want to let my feelings grow again, but I am scared to let myself love her.

Maybe I need to push her and see how she reacts. If she stays with me, then maybe we have a chance. She apologized to Dr. Filmore although she felt it was unnecessary. That shows me she is trying to connect with me. Maybe she is ready for a relationship.

She told me the difference between an apology and feeling contrite today. I think we both feel contrite for our past mistakes.

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Bones seems to avoid any type of personal discussion. She keeps telling me jokes to change the subject. It reminds me of that English squint in her lab who always tells me trivia.

I told Bones I saw a Yeti when I was in Nepal. She didn't believe me, because she said it is a myth and a myth, can't be proven. I am trying to see if she can be open to the possibility of accepting the unknown. Like us. We don't make sense, but we are both drawn to each other. I think she needs to be able to accept some things as unexplainable, before she can see us in a serious relationship.

I believe we will get there soon, but when I take that chance on her, I want her to be ready to accept me and not try to scientifically explain our connection. She needs to let herself love me without understanding why. She needs to understand that love can't be explained rationally.

Bones told me that she can explain my Yeti sighting today, but after she told me, I told her that I made it up. I am so proud that she was able to look outside her scientific box, and accept what I said. Maybe there is reason to hope.

This time it is very different from other relationships I have had. I have always been the romantic. Believing in 'love at first sight', and rushing into the union, but now I am waiting until we are both ready for this experience. Hannah's rejection of me, proved that I need to re-evaluate my romantic ideas, and look to the future, instead of the present.

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I introduced Bones to Walter. I remembered him from the army and heard he could find anything. Although I don't like him, I knew he has a gift for finding things, and we needed a map found, so I took Bones to Florida.

All he did was flirt with her. Surprisingly she didn't flirt back. Even when I jokingly told him he could sleep with her if he found the map, her only reaction was to punch me in the arm. I think this is going to work out.

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The case we just completed was about telling the truth. Bones asked me if I ever lied to her. Wow is that a difficult question to answer. I have told her many lies over the years, but they were more lies of omission, instead of real lies.

For example, I never told her how much I loved her, or that I never really moved on. How could I? I don't think I will ever find another woman who I love as much as Bones. I believe she is my soul mate, and I will love her forever. I can't wait until I can tell her. Maybe someday soon, because I think I'm almost ready, I think it's almost time.

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Today our suspect was a young girl. The police arrested her covered in blood, and brought her to us to find her family. During the investigation, Bones reveled that she was physically abused, to the point of broken bones. We called the parents in for questioning, and Bones went to touch the man's nose and he pushed her. I instantly went to protect her, by pushing him away from her and into the wall. Then not even an hour later, I punched him after he hit his wife. I guess I'm still angry.

I have to be better than that; I have to be better for Parker.

Bones told me, "You're son is very lucky Booth you have to know that."

I know but I just want it to be about more than luck. I want to deserve his love. I never want him to see that side of me. I will not allow myself to become my father.

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I need to get Brodsky; he killed someone else today. I have told the FBI, no new cases until we catch him. He is my top priority now.

The English squintern is presenting with Bones at a convention, and he was in the lab dressed as a dinosaur.

I have been working with a new agent this month; she shows a lot of promise.

Brodsky shot the English squintern today. His name was Vincent. Bones is taking it very hard. I told her to come home with me tonight. I want to keep an eye on her. I want to keep her safe.

It was 4:47 when she walked into my room. I thought Brodsky was holding her hostage, so I held a gun on her until she told me it was okay. She was crying, and she asked me why Vincent had to die. She thought he thought she was going to make him leave. She thought he thought she was cold hearted. I pulled her down near me on the bed, and told her he was talking to the universe, not to her. I told her he wasn't ready to die.

She asked me to hold her, and I pulled her down into my bed. She laid her head on my shoulder, held me close and cried. I told her I'm here for her, kissed the top of her head, and held her until she cried herself to sleep.

I couldn't go to sleep. Her scent was overwhelming. I thought about our discussion that day during the blizzard, and I realized that I was no longer angry. She helped me to heal. She helped me to realize how much I wanted her.

She awoke a short while later, and looked up at me. I felt drawn to her, and I couldn't help myself. I pulled her in and kissed her. She pulled me closer, and kissed me back.

We had kissed before, when we barely knew each other, and then under duress from Caroline, but this was consensual, and it overwhelmed me. I remembered that first kiss, but this was so much better. This was what I had waited six years to feel. This was what I had been dreaming of for a long time. We were both finally ready to accept what we felt for each other, and through that kiss I showed her how much I loved her. How much I needed her. She responded, and I felt myself losing control. I knew where this was going, and I stopped to look at her.

"Bones, Bones, are you sure you want this? Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes Booth, I think I've wanted this for a long time."

She again pulled me in and started to kiss me. My breathing became labored; I knew that if I didn't stop soon, I would make love to her, because my resistance was quickly dwindling. When she started to undress me, I knew we had to stop.

"Bones, Bones, listen to me. We need to stop. I don't want to do it this way. Not after Vincent's death. Please stop."

She continued to kiss me, but with less ardor than before.

"Bones, we have the rest of our lives, but not tonight. Not now."

She stopped, and looked at me. Her breathing was ragged as she stared at me.

"Booth, I understand, but I don't know if I can wait. I desperately want you."

"Listen, let me get Brodsky first, then we can finish this. I need to concentrate on him right now."

She laid her head on my chest.

"Can I stay?"

"I can't think of anywhere else I want you to be."

I pulled her close, as we lay holding each other. Sleep came slowly, and when I awoke in the morning, I realized that I was finally happy with her in my arms. I lay watching her as she slept. Her back was pressed against my chest, and I pushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes.

She turned in my arms and looked at me.

"Good morning."

"Good morning."

She laid her head on my chest and held me close. This is what I have been waiting for. This is what I want for the rest of my life. To wake up every morning to my Bones.

We got up a short while later and got dressed for work. I dropped her off at the Jeffersonian, and went to check on a lead for Brodsky.

I found Brodsky, and when he resisted arrest, I shot him in the leg. I never felt the need for revenge. I knew he had to stand trial, and I took him down, so he would stay alive.

We met outside the Jeffersonian to say goodbye to Vincent. We sang 'Lime in the Coconut' as we loaded his casket into the car.

After the car left, Bones took my arm and we walked back into the Jeffersonian. She was coming back to my place tonight, and I would show her how much I loved her. I finally feel at peace with this decision. I can't wait to be with her.