[Okay, this is just a crack thingy that I wanted to get up for Halloween. It's not supposed to make sense so don't say anything about it not making sense so rawwr. I'm not going to answer reviews in this chapter cos my friends are here. Byebye]
Chapter6.5
Halloween Special
3rd person POV
Al, Alice, Bryant, Ed and Momo were outside. It was dark. Clouds covered just about every part of the sky. The only part that wasn't covered by clouds was where the full moon was. They were silently walking back to the hotel they were staying in after a long day of chasing and killing chimera. They were filthy and they stank like sewers.
Damn people that keep pooing.
"What's the date today?" Momo asked suddenly. Alice looked at her and saw the grin on Momo's face. Ed answered without looking at her.
"31st October. Why?" Alice started a little while Momo grinned even wider.
"Seriously?" Alice asked. Ed nodded and she started squealing happily. Al and Bryant looked at the two girls who were now both squealing as Ed just pointedly ignored them.
"We look the part! We could go trick treating now!" Alice squeaked. They did indeed look the part. They were filthy, clothes were torn and bloodied. They looked like they were the undead.
"What's trick treating?" Al questioned. Alice and Momo stared at him as though he had grown another head. Al cringed. He hated it when they did that.
"Don't they have Halloween here?"
"My dear boy! You haven't lived!" Said the two girls in unison. By this time, they had stopped walking. The girls looked at each before nodding and started explain together.
"Trick treating is basically," Alice said.
"what people do on the night called Halloween." Momo finished the sentence.
"They go around people's houses dress up"
"as something scary on the night of October the 31st saying"
"'trick or treat' and they get free sweets." They finished and then looked at each before high fiving and grinning.
"Hey, we did it! We are now officially Hikaru and Kaoru!" They cheered together before hugging. The boys stared at them before a very confused Ed piped up.
"Who the hell are Hikaru and Kaoru? And this Halloween thing sounds strange. Where the hell do you come from?" Alice grinned.
"We come from a little place called E-aarth." She said, mimicking that little alien thing from Lilo and Stitch. Al was just about to say something when Bryant scrunched up his nose and interrupted him.
"Can we go, the smell is starting to get to me."
"BAGSY FIRST SHOWER!" Alice yelled at the same time as Momo yelled,
"DIBS ON FIRST SHOWER!" They glared at each other before both running off, both desperately trying to be the first one back. The 3 boys stared after them in shock.
"I wonder when they'll realise that our hotel is in the opposite direction." Al chuckled as Ed groaned. They turned around and just started to walk back to the Ramada just as two whirlwinds whipped past them. Bryant laughed.
"I think they realised."
****Time skip****
About 2 hours later, they were telling each other ghost stories. Al would have been peeing his pant, Ed was completely white and Bryant was listening intently, occasionally inputting his own comment or opinion on how to make it scarier.
"When the police finally got there, the TV was turned on, but static, and the woman's body was missing her head. As they sealed off the house and walked away, maniacal laughter could be heard. To this day, people say they can still hear the laughter and they say that if you ever see a headless woman on the night of all Hallows Eve, then you're next." Alice grinned as she finished the story. Momo had gone to the toilet and they were awaiting her return. I'm guessing you know what happens next.
"BOO!"
"AAAAARGH!" Alice giggled uncontrollably. Momo had reached out and grabbed Ed just as the story had ended and shouted 'Boo' just for effect. Momo joined Alice laughing and Bryant was also laughing. Al was trying to calm his brother down who now had a murderous aura surrounding him.
"YOU BITCH! YOU COW! YOU- YOU- YOU FRIGGEN ARSEHOLE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
"Brrring brrring! Brrring brrring!" They all stopped and looked at each other. Ed picked himself up and walked towards the phone, shaking slightly. He picked it up.
"Hello?" he asked nervously. There was about 4 seconds silence before he slammed the phone down. Ed had paled dramatically. "Alice, I am going to kill you." The threat wasn't half as scary as it would have been if Ed had said it instead of whispering it and if he wasn't as pale.
"Haha, don't tell me someone just phoned up to breathe heavily down the phone saying random things like 'kill...must kill'" She quipped. When she got no answer from the obviously terrified teen, she quailed.
"Nothing I say comes out right. I can't love without a fight..." They all jumped when the music started. Alice mumbled something as she reached into her bag and brought out her singing phone. She stared at it.
"Withheld number." She muttered before answering it. A few seconds passed before Alice also paled dramatically. "What kind of sick joke is this you arrogant twat!" She yelled before turning off her phone and throwing it away from her. There was a pause.
"Do you even know what arrogant means, Aly?" Bryant asked.
"Yes...sort of... no, but I always wanted to use it."Then all the phones started ringing, even Alice's turned off mobile. "Oh great," She whined. "Now all we need is some creepy gasmask-wearing 5 year old running around asking everyone 'Are you my mummy?'"
"What?"
"Are you my mummy?" An eerie voice spoke. It was quiet, but somehow, it was heard over the ringing. It came from outside the door.
"OH FUCK! I'M GOING TO SHOOT THE IRONY GODS FOR THIS!"
"What's so scary about a 5 year old wearing a gasmask?" Ed asked. Alice shot him a dirty look.
"Apart from the fact that whoever it touches turns into a gasmask-wearing zombie? Nothing, nothing at all." She drawled sarcastically "They were the two scariest episodes of Doctor Who. They never fail to scare the shit out of me." A knock came from the door and Al went over to open it, visibly shaking.
"ALHONSE ELRIC, IF YOU DARE OPEN THAT FRIGGEN DOOR, I SWEAR THE NEXT TIME YOU WAKE UP YOUR CLOTHES WILL BE A CENTUARY OUT OF DATE!" Momo yelled. She didn't really want to be turned into a gasmask-wearing zombie. Al stopped at looked at her before walking back to the others.
"Are you my mummy? Mummy~? Where are you mummy?"
"Okay, that can get a little creepy after a while." Ed muttered. The phones stopped ringing and the door opened slowly.
"I found you!" They all turned around slowly and was met with a small blonde boy of around 5 years of age, wearing a gasmask, cuts all over his body and wearing old fashioned clothes. Well, old fashioned to the two girls.
"What the hell do you watch?" Shouted Momo to the now white and dizzy girl. Alice turned to face her and opened her mouth, but no words came out.
"I think we should run." The 4 youngest teenagers looked towards the 18 year old and nodded.
Alice then proceeded to jump out of the window. Momo followed not long afterwards. Ed and Al joined them and Bryant was last.
"Where's that bastard pyromaniac when you need him?" Ed shouted. They ran towards military headquarters and top speed and got there in record time. They pushed past all the bewildered people and ran straight to the Colonel's office. "Oi! Colonel Bastard, we got some zombie chasing us! Lock the door would you?" Momo said quite calmly. The colonel gave them a funny stare and sighed. His phone started ringing.
"Don't answer it." Ed said. Mustang gave Bryant a questioning look and Bryant shrugged his shoulders, not quite sure on how to reply. Roy picked up the phone. There was silence for a few seconds before he spoke to whoever was on the other side.
"No, I'm sorry, I don't believe you mummy is here. Are you okay? Are you alone? Where are you?" Alice stalked over to the phone and snatched it off the colonel. She held it to her ear and heard the shudderingly familiar voice.
"Are you my mummy?"
"No! You're mother is in London in 1914! Leave us alone!" She practically yelled down the phone, before she slammed it back in its holder. Roy looked at her reprovingly.
"Why'd you do that? It was a child looking for its mother." Ed snorted and the colonel looked towards the teen.
"If they way Alice said that to the phone is anything to go by, then that was no child. That was a crazy zombie asking everyone if they've seen his mummy." Alice nodded.
"Yep, and if it touches you, then you turn into a zombie asking where your mummy is. Basically that little boy is the dead reincarnated by dark magic." Alice said. It wasn't really reincarnated by dark magic, but it was a hell of a lot easier to say that than it was to say nano technology. They all looked at her like she had lost her mind, which, arguably, she had. She rolled her eyes at the stares she was receiving. "My psychiatrist says I've lost my marbles, but what does he know? My marbles are in a plastic bag in my wardrobe." Momo laughed at that.
"Did you seriously just quote that?" Alice nodded. Roy watched the exchange with wide eyes. That's when the door to the office banged open. They all screamed. Until they saw who it was. Then they screamed even louder.
It was Riza Hawkeye. She pinched the top of her nose and brought out her gun. She was obviously not in a good mood. Everyone shut up. Hawkeye narrowed her eyes and Momo and Momo shifted uncomfortably when she remembered her first encounter of the angry woman.
"What are you all screaming about?" Al pointed over her shoulder and started quaking.
"The zombie child!" He cried, before unsuccessfully hiding behind the colonel's desk. Everyone screamed again except Riza. Riza turned around and looked at the child before pulling her gun out. The child brought his hand up and took off the gasmask. The hair also came off to reveal black hair. Riza put her gun away with a terrified look.
"I'm sorry Selim! These idiots said you were a zombie!" Selim Bradley smiled.
"I was only looking for my mummy. I wanted to show her me wearing this gasmask that I found." Alice and Momo paled considerably. Ed and Roy glared at them while Bryant and Al sighed with relief.
"You know, if you think about it, Selim is pretty scary. Especially with what he is." Momo muttered to Alice. Alice nodded and winced, remembering that Selim was actually the oldest homunculus called Pride. She and Momo were gonna get one hell of a yelling at when they got back.