A little drama this chapter. So was everyone as shocked as I was by Thursday's episode? I was sitting there, opened mouthed thinking, "Holy crap, this totally is going to put a little kink in my stories!" Anyways, enjoy and review!
"What is it?" Damon asked, fear, anxiety, worry and confusion all wrapped up and tied together on his face. His blue eyes were wide and agitated. "What's going on?"
She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand sympathetically. She knew what she was about to say would not be easy for him to understand. He would most likely be angry with her for keeping the truth from him- from everyone- for so long. He wouldn't understand why she had done it. She felt guilty for so much more than just keeping it from him, but what was done was done and there was no going back.
"Damon," she said, her voice steady despite the emotions floating through her and the words about to escape from her lips, "I'm going to die."
His face went completely blank for a moment. All the confusion, fear, anxiety, worry… it was all gone. His face was as blank as a statue and his body was just as lifeless. She just held his hand and let him soak up her words. Slowly, his face unfroze and emotion began to form. The first thing she saw was denial. Then there was fear and anger before finally, confusion.
"What," he said, the word coming out strangled, like something was in his throat, constricting his voice.
She sighed, realizing she could have done a better job with explaining, rather than just saying "I'm going to die." She bit her lip and looked at his beautiful face a moment. She knew that as soon as these words left her lips, things would not be the same. Damon would still love her- she was sure of that- and she would still love him, but there would always be a weight over their heads. It would no longer be easy, light, carefree. It would be replaced with waiting and a sense of end that neither of them wanted to ever feel, but would regardless.
"A year and a half ago, when I made that deal with Elijah, he promised to protect everyone I cared about," she said.
He nodded impatiently, as if to say "I know this. Go ahead with the part about how you're going to die."
"And in return, when Elijah found Klaus, I would go with him willingly," she said and paused for a moment.
Damon waited for a few seconds before he said, "Please, Elena. I know this."
"Well," she said, smiling softly, though she had no idea why. Maybe it was just because it was hitting her now. She was going to die. Sooner rather than later. She didn't want to waste a single precious moment of looking at his face. She didn't want to waste time with anger and fear. "I didn't tell you everything about that deal."
"What do you mean?" he asked, a sick realization slowly forming on his face. "The deal was he would protect the people you cared about and in return, when he found Klaus you would go with him. He and the warlock would kill him and then they'd bring you home. Elena, that was the deal!" As he spoke, his voice changed to where it sounded like he was trying to convince himself rather than simply stating the deal.
She shook her head and felt tears form in her eyes. "Damon, I-I'm not coming back," she said, finally being truthful. It felt weird saying the words she had kept secret for so long out loud. It was like a weight had left her, but the relief didn't last long. One look at Damon's face and the weight was much, much worse and this time, it wasn't on her shoulder's. It was on her heart.
The sheer pain and denial on his face broke her heart. He remained silent, swallowing as if he was about to say something but couldn't get the words out. She continued, answering the question she knew was on his mind. It was only logical to ask it after something like that was said. "They're going to kill Klaus after the sacrifice when he's at his weakest. It's the only way."
He pulled his hand away from her's and stood up slowly. "No," he said, shaking his head. "You wouldn't make a deal like that."
She remained silent and offered nothing but an apologetic look. Of course, that wouldn't be enough but she didn't know what else to give. There wasn't really words that could offer relief to finding out that the person you love is going to die.
He shook his head and the look in his eyes made tears roll down Elena's cheeks. His eyes looked like they had a year and a half ago when he shoved a stake through Rose's heart after she was bitten by a werewolf. She was very, very sick for days and after days of suffering and lack of a cure, Damon staked Rose to put her out of her own misery. Damon wouldn't admit it, but he had cared about Rose and was upset when she died. Elena had seen how much and had talked to him, trying to avoid a Damon breakdown in which he went out a massacred a small group of people. She had been able to convince him to go to bed instead of going out. It was one of the few times she had seen him hurt and vulnerable. She felt closer to him in that moment.
And she'd never felt so far from him as she does now. He was just standing there, his fists clenched at his sides. "Please please, tell me you didn't make a deal allowing yourself to be killed."
She stood up and close the small distance between them. She reached out a hand to touch him, but thought better of it and allowed her hand to drop. "Damon, it was the only way I could keep every safe!"
"That's not heroic Elena," Damon said, bitterness and hurt laced in his voice. "Its tragic."
"I'm not trying to be heroic," she said, honestly. And she wasn't. Not once had she thought that she would be a hero if she died to save the people she loved. She didn't want to die, especially now. But a deal was a deal and now she was protecting even more people she cared about.
"What about your daughter, Elena?" he asked.
Elena swallowed hard, willing herself not to break down. Of course she had thought about her. She didn't want to leave her daughter without a mother. She missed her mother horribly. But her daughter would probably never get the chance to know her. Elijah would find Klaus soon and it would all be over. And she hadn't had a daughter when she made the deal, nor had she ever thought she would. "Do you really think I want to die Damon?" Elena asked, quietly.
"I really don't know," he said, sourly. "I feel like I'm always saving your life. And half the time I'm saving you, its because you've put yourself in that position! You're so willing to give up your life!"
"To protect the people I love!" she said, her voice rising. "What's so wrong with that?"
"You haven't even lived yet!" he said, his voice rising with stress. "You're eighteen, Elena! You haven't seen the world. You haven't done or seen anything you should see. And stop saying you're protecting the people you love because we don't need protection."
"Maybe you don't think that!"
"I know that!" he said, fiercely. "We are not weak. None of us are. You're the only one that needs protection. You and your daughter. How are you so willing to let her grow up without a mother?"
"Because I know she won't be alone," Elena said. "She'll have you."
"That doesn't mean she won't need her mother," Damon argued.
"I would rather die knowing she was safe and everyone I loved would take care of her than die knowing everyone else is dying too," Elena said, willing him to understand.
"Damn it, Elena," he said, running a hand through his raven hair. "Why can't you ever be selfish? Why can't you just think about yourself for once?"
She hesitantly reached out and touched his hand, which was trembling slightly. "Because that's not who I am," she said. "I protect the people I care about, just like you do. You can't tell me you wouldn't give your life for me."
He opened his mouth but closed it, a somewhat defeated expression on his face. She had him there and they both knew it. Damon would jump in front of a train for her, walk out into the sunlight without his ring and chug vervain. And it was because he loved her, just like she loved him. She just wished he would see that.
"Why did you keep it a secret for so long?" he whispered, his jaw clenched.
"Because I didn't want this to happen," she said. "I didn't want everyone to try and save me."
"But we can try," he said, fierce determination shining in his eyes. "There has to be another way."
"There isn't," she said. "I'm going to die during the sacrifice and then somehow they're going to kill Klaus."
"How do you know Elijah and Klaus aren't working together to lure you in?"
She shook her head in response to that theory. "That wouldn't make sense. They could have easily taken me a long, long time ago. Elijah is an honorable man. He's honored our deal for over a year now. He keeps his word."
Damon shook his head and opened his mouth to launch back into the argument.
She raised a hand, shushing him. "I didn't tell you so we could argue," she said. "I told you because I need you to promise me something."
"What?" he asked, swallowing hard.
"Promise me that after she's born and I have to leave, you'll always take care of her. Promise me you'll never leave her."
He shook his head and began backing up. "There is no need to make that promise, because you aren't going to die Elena." And with that, he was out the door.
Alaric had gotten a strange text from Damon telling him to meet him at the Grill, so here he was, sitting at the bar sipping his drink and looking at his watch impatiently. Of course, Damon expected him to drop everything he was doing and meet him somewhere, only to keep him waiting. He'd been sitting here for twenty minutes and he was just about to leave when he saw Damon walk in, looking pissed.
Oh Jesus, Alaric thought. I just pray he doesn't kill someone.
Damon sat down at the stool beside him and ordered two shots of Scotch and told him to keep them coming. He threw one back immediately, without saying a word and threw the other back a few seconds later.
"Jesus," Alaric said. "What happened?"
Alaric knew there were only two things that could make Damon look like that, and that was Stefan and Elena. And since Stefan was long gone, he figured it was Elena.
"Well, Ric," Damon said, waiting impatiently for the other shot. "We've been kept in the dark for the last year and a half."
"What do you mean?" he asked, getting a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Apparently," Damon said, lowering his voice as to not get overheard, "When Elijah and Elena made that deal, part of it was that Klaus was going to die after the sacrifice."
"After?" Alaric asked, his voice rising in shock. That meant Elena was going to die. No, no, no.
"Yup," Damon said, tossing back another shot. "She said she didn't want us to try and save her, so that's why she didn't tell anyone."
"Jesus," Alaric said, wiping a hand over his face. How was he going to explain that one to Jenna? She was finally coming to terms with everything and now she had to find out her niece was going to die? Not to mention everything else. No one would be okay with her giving up her life for them, especially not now. She had a baby on the way, for god's sake!
"Wait, why did she tell you?" he asked.
"Because she wanted me to promise to take care of the baby," Damon said, shaking his head in disbelief. "How could she expect me to make that promise?"
"Because you love her and that baby," Alaric said, knowing it was true. There had been a time when Damon was a cold, dark monster who didn't care about anyone but himself, and maybe Katherine, but those days were over. Damon cared a lot more than he'd ever like to admit and he knew it, Alaric knew it, and everyone else knew it.
Damon shook his head, more so in denial than disagreement. "What in the hell am I suppose to do?" Damon nearly groaned.
"Promise her," Alaric said.
"I won't let her die, Ric," Damon said, fiercely.
"Listen to me," Alaric said. "Go home and promise her whatever she wants to hear and I'll do some research on Originals. I'll find a way to kill them. When I find something, I'll tell you and we'll go from there, okay? We'll find a way to keep her safe."
Damon sighed, but nodded.
Elena was curled up on the couch, absentmindedly rubbing a finger over her bloated belly. Damon had been gone for close to two hours and she didn't want to leave. She needed to see him again and beg him to understand. She knew he was upset for lying to him and even more for making a deal sealing her death, but if it meant everyone she loved surviving, she'd do it without blinking an eye. She couldn't go home until he made that promise to her. She needed to know that Damon would be in her daughter's life. She wanted to know that it would be Damon raising her and taking care of her and teaching her about herself and the world. She knew that if Damon wouldn't, Caroline and Tyler would take care of her and raise her like their own, but damn it, she wanted it to be Damon.
She heard the click of the door unlocking and then the door swinging open. A few seconds later Damon was walking in, a much more calm expression on his face. He didn't say anything. Instead, he just walked over to the couch and sat beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his lap. They sat like that for what felt like a very, very long time.
Finally, she couldn't take the silence any longer. "Damon, I-"
"Shhh," he said, pressing his finger to her mouth, silencing her. "I promise. I promise that if something ever happens to you, I'll take care of her."
She sighed in relief and sat up to look at his face. It was calm and cool. "Thank you," she said.
"Don't thank me yet, Elena," he said, in a serious tone. "Because I also promise you that I will fight with every last breath in body to stop this from happening. Even if I have to go to hell and ask the devil himself for help, I'll do it."