If you can forgive me, I would most appreciate it. I had come up with loads of excuses as to why this is so late, but I can't be arsed, so I'll tell the truth (sorry Aurora-16, but you have to admit, it is your fault :p)

The collab author did not send me the finished product and I think I sent it her before Christmas. If anyone has a bone to pick, it is with her (although I doubt this story is good enough for anyone to want to pick a bone).

Enough of my prattle, you're here for the story, and here it is...

Chapter7

Till death do us part...

Alice's POV

Usually, the first thing that comes into my mind in a morning are not the words 'I'm hungry', nevertheless, they were the words that I first thought when I woke up. I got out of bed and stumbled in my half asleep state. I heard the shower running as I walked past the bathroom to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and saw a grand emptiness before me. I closed the fridge and started looking through the cupboards.

They must get room service. I shrugged as I stumbled back to bed and pulled the covers over me. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I could still hear the shower running. But then it stopped. And now monster footsteps were gonna eat me alive.

...oh well, as long as I get to sleep. I giggled as I thought about Sloth. I wanted to meet him.

"Oi, what're you giggling at?" I opened one eye to see Momo looking at me curiously. She had a towel wrapped around her, confirming that it was she who had been in the shower.

"Jackarolls." I replied, not actually knowing what I said or why. I closed my eye again just as Momo shrugged and turned away. I heard her footsteps cross the room and drawers opening and closing.

Then the door to the apartment opened.

"Hey! I've come..." Silence. I again opened my eye to see Momo with her underwear half on and Ed in the doorway bright red. Redder than a beetroot. I sighed and got out of bed. Please note, I was in respectable pyjamas. I crossed the room and as I walked past Momo, I patted her head.

"Have fun." I said winking at her. She blushed, knowing exactly why I winked, and I ran into the bathroom, cackling as a pillow narrowly missed my head. Now safely hidden behind the bathroom door, I heard yelling.

Lots of it. And a lot of soft thuds. Morgan was beating the shit out of the famous state alchemist. That was something to be proud of. I snickered.

"OUCH! OUCH! STOP IT! I'M SORRY! I SAID I'M FUCKING SORRY!"

"GET OUT! YOU PERVERT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

"I WOULD BUT YOU KEEP HITTING ME!"

5 minutes later, there was a slam and then silence. I was in tears by this point. Not being able to see anything had made the whole situation sound... different. With the thuds and the bangs and the yells of pain. 'Twas very hilarious. I sauntered out of the bathroom and was just about to speak when I realised I needed a pee after all that laughing. I sauntered back into the bathroom just as coolly as I had sauntered out and did my business. I grinned as I walked back out and saw Momo fully dressed, still a little red in the face.

"Now, really Morgan." She glared at me when I said her full name. "You and Ed aren't even married yet and you're showing him you're body already?" I shook my head feigning disappointment when all I really wanted to do was laugh. "How very improper!" All she did was throw another pillow at me, but it was enough.

I was on my back rolling with another fit of laughter.

"Shut up." She mumbled, but I couldn't help myself.

"O-oh God! You s-should have he-heard yourselves!" I gasped for air "It sounded so wrong!" I promptly collapsed with another fit of giggles. Momo blushed an even darker red.

*~*Time Skip*~*

An hour later, I was still giggling and still in my pyjamas. It was 11:30 in the morning. And I was still hungry. Ed, Al and Bryant were with us, Momo and Ed sitting as far apart as possible. I picked up the phone for room service, since Ed and Al hadn't seen fit to ever buy food to cook for themselves.

"Does anyone else want anything? Ed? Momo?" I grinned. "Or did you already have your breakfast?" I said suggestively. Momo and Ed both blushed deeply and I chortled. Bryant smiled faintly and Al was just out of place, like he really didn't know what to say or do.

"I'll have that." Bryant said pointing to something on the menu. Momo came and had a look too. She pointed to several different things.

"I'll have them." I nodded and waited for the damn people on the other side to pick up the damn phone. I told them what we wanted and they told me it would take about 5 minutes. I hung up and smiled at everyone. It was too quiet...

I didn't like it when it was quiet... Apparently Al thought the same thing

"Aly?" He called to me. I looked up from my twiddling fingers. Al had taken to calling me by the nickname Momo had come up for me. Ed, sadly, was still referring to me as 'that bitch' or 'that cow' or when he was in a rare good mood – which hasn't been a lot since he met me and Momo – 'Alice'.

"Hmm?" I replied.

"When did you draw that picture that's in your bag?" I froze. I didn't know which picture he was talking about since there were four of them, but I had a pretty good idea. I realised I had frozen and then carried on twiddling my thumbs, like I had been doing, hoping no-one had noticed. I decided to play dumb.

"Aaaw, man! You went through my bag? What for? There could have been girly things in there!" I shrugged and smiled sweetly at him. Al gulped. That smile meant I wasn't very pleased.

Good! He was learning. I had only been with them for a day, but he was learning!

"What picture anyway?" I asked, pulling out the four sheets of paper from my bag that was apparently next to me the whole time. He pointed to the one with all the doodles on it. Damn it.

This doodle sheet was the only doodle sheet I had ever done with any FullMetal alchemist characters on it. This one had Envy, chibi Roy, chibi Al with a cat, chibi Hughes as an angel in the clouds with that photo of Elysia and a little drawing of chibi Roy calling a very angered chibi Ed names (such as small and pipsqueak) and a chibi Al holding the very angered chibi Ed back.

I wonder how many times I said chibi then...

It had other things on it, such as a random fangirl face that so happened to be a fangirl of yaoi. I was trying to explain what a yaoi fangirl would look like to my friend. There was also failed chibi Kaoru Hitachiin and very failed Chibi Kyouya Ootori. Also L looking at cake, but the cake was a trap! And hearts wrapped up in bandages... Things like that. There was also a drop of blood on it as I had started bleeding while drawing it.

But, you don't need to know that. All you need to know is that I was gonna have to explain this picture that I had drew before I had supposedly known who they were. I wasn't gonna lie now, was I?

"I drew it the day before I met you guys." Which was true. Ed, Al and Bryant looked at me with slight surprise on their face. Momo nodded slightly. She knew I was in some deep shit now. I sent a look in her direction. A look that obviously said 'What did you expect me to tell them? They've been with us just about all the time we've been here!' Momo just frowned at my look.

Oh. Maybe it wasn't that obvious what my look said then.

"How is that possible?" Ed asked, slightly weirded out. I really should have said 'yesterday' or something. I'm not really one for lying, but I had a feeling that if I told the truth, I'd be sent to a mental asylum. I really didn't want to lie, seeing as the last time I lied,

...let's just say, it wasn't pretty.

Shit, they're looking at me funny. AAH what should I tell them! Quick think of something!

"I'm psychic." The words came out of my mouth without my permission. I kicked myself and gasped in pain. That'll teach me to kick myself. They all looked at me funny, assumingly because I had just kicked myself. "Aaah, bollocks." I muttered, referring to the fact I had just said I was psychic. Momo burst out laughing. I stared at her confused.

"What?" I asked. She gasped for air.

"Such a-a British t-thing t-to say!" She replied through her laughter. The boys looked at us, still not comprehending the situation.

"Bollocks?" Al asked. Now I was laughing. To hear Al – Alphonse Elric, the most innocent person I have ever met – speak such obscenities was just hilarious. When I had finally calmed down, I spoke.

"I'm going to get changed, then I will tell you the meaning of bollocks." I pointed my finger at Momo "Don't you dare tell them! I want to."

"Aaaw!" She whined, I stuck my tongue out at her and chose some clothes from the shopping bag from yesterday. I made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I sighed and slid down to the floor with my back against the door. I was freaking out. It may not seem like it, but I was. I had been since I had first laid eyes on Edward and Alphonse.

Not once in my life, had I fainted before. That was the first clue. The second clue was my quickened heartbeat. The third? I was shaking. Ever so slightly. I lifted my hands up to eye level and watched them. It was unnerving to see myself like this. I slapped myself around the face and got up, cursing quietly. I changed quickly and plastered a smile on my face before walking out of the bathroom. There was a knock on the door and I watched as Al went to answer it. Probably not the best choice as he would scare the shit out of the room service person waiter thing. He opened the door at the room service person waiter thing looked like he pooed his pants. I went over to the door and pushed Al aside, apologising for my 'brother' seeing as he liked to dress up. I smiled and the room service person waiter thing went away, looking worried. I brought the food into the main room and got my cereal while Momo and Bryant got their stuff.

Silence. Again. Damn. I looked up from my chocolate cereal and noticed Ed glaring at me like I had offended his mother. I don't offend mothers. If I have a problem with someone, I usually offend them. I opened my mouth to say something.

Wait... he wasn't glaring at me. He was glaring at the milk that was now chocolaty goodness of milk. I groaned inwardly. How had I not remembered his hatred for milk? It was practically as famous as his hatred of being small. I watched for his reaction as I brought the bowl (that was now empty of cereal and only had milk in) and almost laughed as he blanched. I then started drinking and he retched. Oh the joys of being able to make people feel sick without doing anything out of the ordinary. I kept my eye on him as I placed the bowl onto the table we were eating at and he, in turn, glared at me. I'm not quite sure when, but it turned into a staring contest. I became vaguely aware that we had an audience.

Damnit! Why don't they start talking or something? It was too quiet!

My eyes were starting to water by the time Ed shrugged and turned his head away. I smiled smugly to myself. Momo decided to break the silence.

"So! What does bollocks mean?" She asked cheerfully. I gave her a funny look. The way she had acted earlier had made me think that she did know what it meant. I sighed as everyone waited expectantly for me to answer.

"Bollocks is basically British slang for the male parts. It's also used when something goes wrong, or when something is a load of shit. Much like the term 'bullshit' but much more aggressive. I used it because I had said something I hadn't really wanted to say." Dictionary mode for the win!

I can be serious to! Sometimes... I sighed with relief as Edward stood up. Apparently, everyone had forgotten my earlier statement about me being psychic.

"Me and Al are going out for a bit." He yawned before glaring at us two poor, defenceless girls (pfft, as if) "You two stay here and out of trouble." He looked at Bryant. "I don't care what you do, as long as you leave me and Al alone." He said nonchalantly. Bryant gave him a mock salute and I pouted.

I wanted to join the adventure as well. Ed and Al walked out the door leaving behind two teenage females and one male teenager. This would not end well for Bryant. I smirked evilly and glanced at the elder girl. She looked back at me. I raised my eyebrows and nodded my head towards the bags full of cosmetics that us girls had made Ed buy, and then towards the poor boy. Her eyes widened with realisation and we proceeded to advance on the 18 year old.

Momo's POV

Bryant looked awesome with bright pink lipstick and blusher. He didn't think so. He was trying to rub it off, quickly and hastily, before anyone saw him.

It was funny though. Alice held him down, while I applied the 'pretty in pink' cosmetics. I don't think he had any idea what was happening to him, poor thing. While Bryant was busy in the bathroom, I was busy reading the book Ed bought me (you know, the one that he bought when he was furious with me and Alice on our shopping trip yesterday?) and Alice was busy rehearsing what she was gonna tell the boys about her psychicness when they got back. I glanced at her as she muttered furiously to herself, occasionally frowning and shaking her head. I went back to my reading and was so engrossed in the book that I didn't notice that hours had flown by and Aly was standing in front of me, grinning like an idiot.

When I finally did look, I jumped, for her face was literally centimetres from mine.

"GAH! DON'T DO THAT!" She totally ignored me and pushed her face further into mine, causing me to lean backwards.

"Bryant's gone out and Ed left some Amestrian money in one of the drawers." She said. I could totally see where this was going. "What do you wanna do?"

"Wouldn't that be stealing?" Alice paused a little unsure.

"...Nooo..." And she glanced shiftily to both sides. I grinned.

"Get that money, while I get suitable for a proper night out." I answered, for it was indeed evening. The light was pouring in through the window with an orange colour and from the west.

*~*Time Skip*~*

"Whoah! Did you just give me THE Look?" The smaller girl had to yell over the music to make herself heard.

"Whaa?"

"THE Look!"

"Yeah, I heard that. What's THE Look?" Alice shook her head and laughed. She grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.

"That's better... although, my ears are still ringing." I nodded and smacked my head to see if the ringing would go away.

It didn't.

"THE Look is just a look of a kind." She demonstrated THE Look. It was a look that could mean anything and everything, from 'What the hell are you doing?' to 'Of course I like cake.' "It's something that everyone knows in my school."

We were both smiling like idiots, the rush from the nightclub getting at us. The music wasn't exactly my taste, but it was still fun to dance around like drunken fathers. I suddenly found myself extremely thirsty and began to drag Aly across the street where a shop was still open, despite the late hour.

"Alice, money." With her free hand, she pulled a purse out her pocket and opened it up, just as we entered the shop...

...and quickly left again as I saw and heard a familiar – and very furious I might add – boy yelling at the man behind the counter.

Shit.

I pulled Alice away from the shop and down two different streets, before she stuck her heels into the ground and refused to budge any further. It was then that I realised she had been protesting rather loudly at being dragged.

She put her hands on her hips and looked at me, eyes demanding an explanation. I grimaced and looked behind her shoulder at the street we had just come from, hoping that Ed didn't come around the corner holding a shotgun...

Or something equally as painful...

"Small fry."I said in response to Aly's unspoken question. The look of horror on her face was priceless.

"Shit..." She quickly grabbed my hand and we whizzed down a few more alleys and streets. We rested against opposite walls in a small alleyway when we deemed we were safe.

"I'm starting to think going out wasn't such a good idea after all." murmured Alice. I nodded in agreement.

"This is your fault! You and your stupid looking through other peoples things."

"Would you have preferred to sit in that damned hotel room all night? Besides, you had a book and I didn't." She paused and rethought what she had just said. "Well, a book that I haven't read 10 times since we got here." I looked at her, disbelieving, and she looked at me back.

That was when I felt a cold shiver down my back, and I know Alice felt it too, because she gripped her arms. Two red, glowing eyes looked at us from the entrance to the alley and I felt myself grow smaller and smaller as the eyes became even more intimidating.

And this was before I even looked towards them.

"BROTHER! I FOUND THEM!" I looked towards the giant metal boy and glared.

"Traitor." I whispered the word with as much venom as possible.

"THEY'RE OVER HERE!"

I looked over at Alice and found her already staring at me, resignation evident in her eyes. She held out her hand to me solemnly.

"It was nice knowing you my friend." I looked at her hand and grimaced inwardly. I looked into her eyes and shook the offered hand.

"You too, my friend. You too."

The reason Momo's bit is a little different from the rest is because of the mood I was in when I wrote it. Momo's bit is also a little short because I was impatient and wanted to get this to you soonest. If the other author deems fit to send me the finished chapter after this is uploaded, I will post it and let you readers decide which one is better. If it happens

Another thing. IDEAS

IDEAS

IDEAS! No-one is giving me ideas, except maybe one person and I can't use that idea now cos it was sent to me via youtube and now my account is being twatty.

REVIEW REPLIES:

Kasuki101: Thank you for the many reviews. They make me happy :D

AmuletLove1: I loved writing that chapter. Even if I was put under a lot of stress because my father was being a twat. :D

Kzaen: OMIGOD HIIIIII! This is the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed.

Kuma the wolf alchemist: I'm not really too fussed about the song 'I love the way you lie.' I don't really like that type of music. I'm more All Time Low and The Blackout, rather than Rihanna and whoever else there is.

AnimeVamp1997: Pride!Selim is scary. He made me shiver when he was being cute. That cutesy boy really a homunculus! Dx SCARY

You are all bloody whales (who is now probably something to do with cheesy moons): I'm sorry. The gas-mask wearing midget scared me loads. Probably the scariest Doctor Who episode ever made. I love Selim too, when he isn't being scary :D

Little firework: I wish that it would happen to me too. I would probably crap my pants, but there we go ^-^

Aurora-16: I'm gonna add in another reference to Hikaru and Kaoru somewhere along the line, saying that Alice and Momo are practising their swapping speaking technique. Just to make this story more senseful.

KingofHeartless'09: A very belated happy Halloween to you too xD I'm sorry I gave your OC make-up. I had no idea what to do :(

Hotcold cakes to everyone who reviewed and added this story to favourites. Blah blah.

Oh what's the point? Just review, yeah? Get my confidence up, or I may just never write again.

And I am being serious.