A/N Special thanks to my betas HEAR and Sirenastarot through PTB. And as always, I don't own Twilight.

The alerts for this chapter went out twice today. I had to delete what I had posted before. Apparently in my eagerness to get Chapter 9 out to you, my lovely readers, I accidently posted Chapter 10 instead. So now that it's been fixed, enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Declarations

BPOV

I didn't know what had gotten into me. I had never acted like that before. Edward had me all riled up and then he stopped right when it was really getting good. My body burned with unsatisfied need. So I decided to make him burn a little too. With confidence I didn't realize I had, I waltzed outside channeling my inner minx. The look on his face when I walked out the door to him was priceless, even if I did feel a little silly the entire time. I wanted Edward in every possible way, even if I was scared shitless about it. One thing stood out above all the needs and wants of my body.

He loved me.

As much as it made me happy, it seemed so impossible. I was incredibly ordinary. There was not one thing that made me stand out from any other woman, especially compared to the beautiful women of Hollywood. To have someone as extraordinary as Edward love me... it was unbelievable, unfathomable, and improbable. He could easily have his pick of any woman out there. Lord knows he has worked with all kinds of beautiful, talented women and yet, he chose me. I didn't understand it. But I would try enjoying it as long as I could, until Edward eventually moved on. He swore he wouldn't, but it was inevitable. Men as beautiful as him did not stay with 'plain Jane' types like me.

I knew I was starting to fall for him the morning after the assault by Mike Sullivan. Not only had he saved me from Mike, but he stayed and cared for me and didn't run when he met my father. He looked so scared when he caught me from falling. Edward was so gentle and only released me from his arms when the EMTs needed to treat me. I never felt as safe as I did when I was in his arms. When I woke hearing him play such lovely music coming from his guitar, it was impossible not to melt. I didn't even realize he had his guitar with him. The look on his face was so relaxed and free, and when he looked at me, he had such a look of affection and adoration in his eyes... it was impossible not to return it.

Falling in love with him was scary. Hell, falling in love period was scary. Add to the equation the differences in our lives and where we lived and it became downright nightmarish. I couldn't stop how my heart felt but my brain still screamed caution. So I held my tongue. I was still afraid to give my whole heart, afraid that he would leave and never come back. My situation wasn't helped when it was easy to fall in love Edward, this generous man who was a gift from the gods. He was so smart, incredibly talented, and funny. And who could forget how beautiful and undeniably sexy he was? There was so much more to him then the public face that his fans saw. I felt very special that he was showing me the real Edward Cullen, not just the public façade.

Until this morning, I was afraid he didn't feel the same. His actions gave me hope that that he did, from working on the house, occasionally making breakfast or dinner, his touches and kisses, his overall affectionate nature. Right when I thought I knew how he felt, he seemed to pull away. Edward was never rude or short with me; he just seemed to check out for a little bit. I tried to not let it bother me, but this morning it had gotten to be too much and I called him out on it.

He loved me.

I shut off my truck and floated into the bar on a cloud of happiness. Jacob arrived shortly after I pulled in and got to the front door as I was unlocking it.

"Hi, Jacob!" I chirped happily.

His eyebrows rose as he looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Somebody is in a good mood today."

I giggled. "I guess I am." I couldn't help it. I was in a great mood. Love seemed to do that to a girl.

"I haven't heard you giggle like that in a long time," Jacob said with a laugh.

I blushed.

"Could the reason for your giggles have a name?" he asked, snickering at my blush.

"Maybe..." I hedged.

"Maybe, my ass. Anthony is good for you if he is bringing this side of you out."

My blush deepened. I was touched. This was one of the nicest things Jacob had said to me in a long time. "Thank you, Jacob, that means a lot to me."

"So, you guys serious then? It's been about a month now, hasn't it?" he asked as we walked into the bar.

"Yeah, I guess we are." I tried to pretend not to cringe over the mention of the time frame. Jacob, knowing me as well as he did, saw the momentary mood change on my face.

"What is it, Bella?"

"He's going back home later this week. Anthony has a job starting on Monday."

"Aw, Bells, I'm sorry." He crushed me in a bear hug.

Just about everyone knew now that 'Anthony' and I were dating. He was becoming a regular face at the bar. For the time being, Edward and I agreed to keep his true identity a secret from everyone. We wanted to put-off any paparazzi invasion as long as we could. Edward slowly adjusted to being addressed by his middle name. His cover story for his time here was that hewas an independent contractor who was taking some time off.

"Jake-" I struggled in his arms, my face buried in his chest. "Can't. Breathe."

He immediately let me go. "Sorry about that. I forget my own strength sometimes." He grinned apologetically.

We started pulling the chairs down off the tables.

"So what does that mean for you guys?" he asked, curious but also concerned.

"A long distance relationship. We are going to try to see each other as often as we can," I said, the sound of my voice clearly indicating how little I was looking forward to that.

"That sucks." Apparently Jacob agreed with my opinion of the situation.

"Yeah, but he's worth the hassle. He's an amazing man, Jake," I said quietly. And I want to keep him as long as I can.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Okay, enough mushy stuff. What does Mr. Amazing have planned for your birthday tomorrow?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I righted the last chair. "I don't know. He won't tell me. I just hope he doesn't make a big deal about it. It's just my birthday."

"I'm sure whatever it is, you'll love it."

"I'm sure," I agreed. Jacob smiled and finished getting the bar set up to open in an hour.

The rest of the crew arrived about twenty minutes later while I was in the back storeroom getting cases of beer for the bar. I carefully rolled the heavy, beer-laden dolly to the bar. As soon as I rounded the corner to the main room, I was startled by a booming chorus of "Happy Birthday!" During the time it took me to load the dolly, all of my lucky-to-have-a-job employees had turned the bar into party central.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands before running into the sanctuary of my office to hide. I hated parties and I hated surprises even more. Angela and Jacob came in about a minute later to drag me back to the torture chamber.

"Come on, party girl!" Angela teased.

"I don't want to!" I pouted. "You know I don't like parties."

"Aw, it's only a small party and we'll clean it up before we open. Promise," Jacob pleaded, his eyes dancing despite my aggravation.

I caved; continuing to argue would only hurt their feelings. "Fine, but I'm holding you to your promise, Jacob Black."

"Scout's honor!"

Too bad Jacob was never a boy scout.

Everyone cheered as I came out of my office. A small cake and a modest pile of presents were waiting on the bar for me. I had to admit, it wasn't as bad as it first looked. At least the whole place wasn't covered in balloons and crepe paper.

Angela whispered in my ear as we approached the bar, "Since Anthony is stealing you away tomorrow; we wanted to have our own party for you today." I smiled and gave her a quick hug.

I sat down at the bar and everyone crowded around me, handing me their gifts. Thankfully, no one went nuts. I hated the idea of people spending their money on me, especially if that money was earned from working for me. Angela got me some nice picture frames for the mantle in my living room. Jacob gave me a hand-carved Quileute wolf statue. When I opened Jessica's gift, I wanted to kill her. She decided to buy me two, seeming innocuous gifts: a copy of Eclipse, Edward's blockbuster movie from last year and Edward's first CD, Don't Think.

I laughed nervously, "Thanks Jessica."

One of the other girls commented after seeing the covers of Jessica's gifts, "Wow, I never realized how much Anthony looks like Edward Cullen!"

I really wanted to wring Jessica's stupid little neck. "Yeah," I tried to shrug it off, "he says he gets that a lot from people."

"I bet," Jessica replied dryly.

"Anyway," I said, ignoring Jessica. "Thank you, everyone for your gifts."

I got a smattering of 'you're welcome' and 'happy birthday' as we cut the cake. The cake was a nice sugar rush to propel us through the day. There was no other forms of excitement, no other surprises for me to worry about for the rest of the evening. My mind was elsewhere most of the night thinking about my wonderful morning with Edward, worrying about his plans for my birthday tomorrow, and worrying about his leaving.

------------------

I pulled into my driveway several hours earlier than normal. At the stroke of midnight, Angela and Jacob kicked me out of my own bar, stating that it was now my birthday so I should go out and enjoy it. Jacob had to practically carry me out to my truck. I felt bad because this would mean that Angela and Jacob would have to close up for two days, instead of just one. They were going to close up tomorrow night as it was since I took that night off for my birthday, but they wouldn't take no for an answer.

I shut the engine off and gathered my stuff. Edward's Volvo was parked next to mine. It looked like it hadn't moved all day. Thinking about Edward made my cheeks burn as I thought of how our morning went. Ideas started floating through my mind as I considered ways to continue where we left off.

As I walked in the house, I heard music softly playing from the stereo. Most of the lights were off in the house. The only light I could see was a soft dim light coming from the living room. Maybe he's setting the mood, thinking about where we left off too. My body tingled with anticipation. I set my purse, keys, and the bag of birthday presents down on the hallway table as I approached the living room.

Edward was sitting on the couch, Indian style, intently reading something in his lap. He had a pencil in his hand, hovering over what he was reading. I could see his lips moving silently as he read to himself. He ran his other hand through his messy bronze hair.

"Hi" I said softly, leaning against the frame of the living room entrance.

Edward jumped, startled, and dropped his pencil. He looked up at me and smiled crookedly. "Hi."

I walked over and sat next to him on the couch. My hands itched to touch him all over but I settled with taking his hand in mine. The simple touch made me shiver. I could feel warmth emanating from our clasped hands. Edward leaned over and kissed me chastely on the check.

"You're home early," he observed.

"Angela and Jacob kicked me out as soon as it hit midnight. They said that it was now officially my birthday so I should go out and enjoy it."

"That was nice of them," Edward murmured. Something flickered in his eyes, but was quickly hidden. "Well, then, happy birthday, Bella."

He looked at me again, his emerald eyes smoldering with glowing warmth. He took his free hand and cupped my chin. Before I could respond, he crushed his lips against mine. This was the exact opposite of the peck he had just given me when I sat down. His hand moved from my chin to the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. As he leaned towards me, whatever he was reading fell to the floor. My attention was too fully on Edward and his lips to investigate. He had my nerves on fire. I released his hand so I could bury both of mine in his hair. He moaned softly against my lips as I hooked a leg around his hip. I felt his arm snake around my waist and pull me into his lap so I was straddling him on the couch. He continued to kiss me, trailing his soft, smooth lips up and down my neck. I shivered as he kissed the soft spot behind my ear.

If I wasn't on fire before, I certainly was now. I didn't want this to stop. The feel of him beneath me was almost too much for my wavering self-control. I never had such an emotional and intellectual connection with a man before and I didn't want to jump into a physical relationship too soon. I had seen too many of my friends' relationships destroyed because they became so dependent on sex that after awhile, the relationships burned themselves out and unraveled. Admittedly, I was also nervous about being intimate with Edward. I didn't have a lot of experience and while Edward didn't seem promiscuous, he was surrounded on a daily basis by women much more experienced than I. He had told me there was no comparison that no woman could ever hold a candle to me, but I still wanted to be good. Hell, I wanted to be better than good. I wanted to be the best thing ever. My lack of experience made that seem unlikely. So I remained a coward and didn't push things with Edward. Surprisingly, he seemed to want to wait too. I was thankful that he wanted something more meaningful than just a physical relationship. I sensed that there was more to his wanting to wait than just that, but it was enough for me and I didn't press for further details.

Edward's soft touches brought me back to the present. His hand that wasn't wrapped around my waist ran up and down my back and my side. I hissed as his fingers brushed a sensitive spot on my shoulder blade. Edward smiled against my lips as he heard my reaction. He pulled away, just enough to be able to look at my face. His eyes burned deep and dark, and his breathing was just as ragged as mine.

"Why did you stop?" I gasped. Every cell of my body protested the lack of Edward's lips and hands touching me.

He trailed a finger down the line of my jaw. "I wanted to look at you."

I rolled my eyes impatiently. "Well now you have looked at me, so...." I leaned in to resume kissing him. As my lips touched his again, I reached down to the hem of his t-shirt. Instead of trying to remove it like I did that morning, I contented myself with putting my hands under his shirt and being able to touch his bare chest.

I felt his stomach muscles clench the second my fingertips touched the skin of his abdomen. Edward's breath hitched as he whispered my name against my lips. My hands roamed under his shirt feeling every one of his lean, toned and sculpted muscles. I continued to explore his chest, dragging my fingers through the soft curls of his chest hair. His back muscles flexed as I ran my hands over them. The heat of his body traveled up my arms into my chest and spread throughout my whole body. I felt like I could start a forest fire just by existing here with him. A part of me was surprised the couch didn't spontaneously combust. All the while, our lips never left each others except when the need to breathe became too strong to ignore.

My self-control was really wearing thin now. I was about to drag Edward off to my bedroom and finish this before I exploded. He drifted down to kiss my neck. My lips burned for his so I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him eagerly, tracing his lips with my tongue. He did not resist at all and growled deep in his chest as he fisted his hands into my hair.

The feel of his hands tugging my hair made me reach my bursting point. I tore myself from Edward's embrace and started to pull him up with me. When my feet made contact with the floor, one of my feet touched something smooth and cool to the touch. Edward steadied me before I completely lost my balance.

"What's this?" I reached down and picked up the bound stack of paper.

Edward plopped back down on the couch and ran his hand through his hair. "It's the script for my new movie." He looked nervous all of a sudden.

I sat back down next to him. "Oh." The spell was broken. I started flipping through some of the pages, not really looking at any of the words. "When did you get this?" I just stupidly realized that this was what he had been reading so intently when I came home.

"Earlier today. My manager, Marcus, flew in to drop the script off," Edward said, starting to fidget.

"Flew in? Wouldn't it have been easier to just mail it?"

"It would, but he wanted to hand-deliver it. Marcus wanted to make sure I was really going to come back to LA." His eyes flickered to the coffee table. My gaze followed.

An airline ticket sat on the table, taunting me. My eyes filled with tears. I tried to fight them from falling. Seeing the movie script and the plane ticket made the fact that Edward was leaving undeniably real now. I was starting to lose my fight with my emotions.

I steadied myself before I spoke. "Is Marcus still here?" My voice shook a little but not as bad as I thought it would. I set the script down next to the airplane ticket.

"No, he was only here for a few hours." Edward's eyes locked with mine, his gaze full of sadness and something else I could not define, almost like fear or anxiety. "Bella..." he trailed off as he tried to find the right words.

I sighed and balled my hands in my fists. Here he was pushing me away again. I could feel the tension rolling off him. It was such a sudden change from the mood we shared a moment ago.

"What is it Edward?" I wanted to take his hand, but I did not want to distract him.

"Bella, we need to talk."

My heart skidded to a stop. Those were the words anyone in a relationship never wanted to hear. Before I could stop it, my first thought was that he was going to break things off with me before he left so he wouldn't feel obligated to come back. My insecurities about how he could possibly love me when there were so many beautiful and better women out there fueled those thoughts. I tried to keep all those horrible ideas down. They could not be true. Edward loved me. He felt that spark between us.

Edward seemed to understand where my thoughts were going. He reached over and clasped my hands in his large ones. He looked worried but hopeful. I got the feeling he was desperately wanting me to understand and accept what he was about to tell me.

"Bella, I love you so much. Don't ever forget that. You are everything to me."

I smiled weakly as he continued.

"When Marcus was here earlier today, we discussed several things, some of which included us. He brought up a point that I can't believe I never thought of myself, something that he made me realize." He unrolled my bunched up fingers and wove them between his fingers. "When I go back to LA, the media and paparazzi are going to be all over me. Marcus told me that they have been buzzing around all the places I normally go to see if anyone knows where I have been. And they know my movie starts filming next week so I'm sure LAX and the surrounding airports will be well covered. This was the same exposure, as well as the crazed fans, that nearly broke me before and what caused me to run out of my Odeon show."

He cradled my face in one of his hands, still keeping his other hand wrapped around mine. "But now, I feel I can handle it because I have you. Now I have one person out there who truly knows me and loves me, not the public version that is gossiped and talked about, but the real Edward Cullen. You have become my rock, my center. I feel like I can take on anything that comes now."

"That's great Edward. I'm very glad that you are able to rise above all that insanity now that you don't have to bury yourself in a bottle to get through the day." I smiled at him but I was still puzzled. I wasn't sure where he was going with this. He was definitely not pushing me away as I thought, but I was still confused. The seriousness of his tone when he said we needed to talk didn't match the current tone of our conversation.

Edward continued, dropping his hand from my face to his lap. "Eventually, no matter how careful and private we try to be about our relationship, the media and paparazzi will find out about us, about you. And they will do everything they can to find out who you are and where you live and everything they can about you. They will not be merciful. They will try to make contact with anyone that might know you: your father, your friends, co-workers, anyone they can to get anything newsworthy. One minute it will be life as normal, the next minute you won't be able to go to the grocery store without a camera in your face and being hounded with questions, even here in Vermilion. The curiosity over a celebrity's personal life is voracious, especially when the significant other is a non-celebrity. I signed up for this kind of thing when I decided to be an actor. You did not. I don't want to put you through this. I love you too much to want you to have to deal with this."

My face drained of color as his words sunk in. I imagined my life surrounded by cameras and invasive questions. I would be the center of attention, which I hated. I suddenly remembered a video clip I saw awhile ago of Edward walking down the street in LA, surrounded by cameras and being interrogated by the photographers. He looked miserable. Can I really deal with that? My mind continued and pictured Edward and I walking down that same street together, surrounded by those same video cameras and photographers, being asked a bajillion questions. Together it didn't seem to be as bad. But he wouldn't be there every time, not when I was here. Can I handle that without him?

Wait, he said 'I don't want to put you through this'…is he trying to break up with me? Is he doing this to try to protect me? Can I handle this without him? That sentence now had a completely different meaning as I thought about life here without Edward in it. The tears I had been fighting before came back full force. Nothing could stop them as they fell down my cheeks.

Edward watched me nervously. He reached up and wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumb. "Tell me what you are thinking," he begged. His heart was in his eyes, full of hope, full of fear.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "Are you breaking up with me?" I blurted out.

His eyes widened in shock. "What? No! Why would you think that? Why? Do you want to break up with me?" He took a quick breath before continuing, before I could even respond. "I mean, I would understand if you wanted to break things off. Who would want to deal with the paparazzi if they had another choice? I just don't-"

"Edward." I cut off his rambling. Edward's eyes were huge with anxiety as one of his hands nervously combed through his hair. "I do not want to break up with you. I just don't understand. You said 'I don't want to put you through this.'"

He nodded but still seemed confused.

I held his gaze as I continued. "I thought you were trying to nicely break up with me to spare yourself having to come back or to protect me from the stress of the paparazzi."

He shook his head in disagreement. "I was giving you an out. I can't break up with you; you are a part of me now. But I couldn't knowingly put you through the media circus without warning you and letting you bow out gracefully, if that is what you wanted."

Edward's mesmerizing green eyes seemed brighter than normal. I touched his face carefully, letting my fingers trail across his cheek and along his jaw. One finger ran across his lips, relishing the soft suppleness found there. Edward's eyes closed as he hummed with pleasure. My hand cupped his cheek as I look at this handsome but conflicted man before me. Slowly he opened his eyes and his gaze traveled all over my face.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. "I love you, Edward." The expression on his face lightened and his anxiety started to disappear. "I can only imagine what it is like to deal with that kind of insanity that the paparazzi bring. I have to be honest, it does scare me a lot, but I'm willing to try to deal with it. I've never felt like this with anyone before and I don't want to give up on it now. I can deal with all the photographers and the paparazzi as long as I have you."

Hope blazed across his face.

"But what about when I'm not here? Eventually they will find you out here."

I smiled at him warmly. "It helps when your father is the chief of police. If the paparazzi start to hassle me too much, my dad can help me." I could see my father sending me crates of police -grade pepper spray. It made me giggle.

Edward's face broke into a huge smile that lit up the room. He took my face in his hands and kissed me squarely on the lips. When he let me go, he reached for my hands and squeezed them gently. "You have no idea how happy you have made me, Bella. I was so worried that the whole paparazzi thing would scare you off, especially since you saw how I was when I first arrived here."

I shook my head. "That was before you had me to help you," I teased.

"I would agree with that." He kissed me again, ecstatic that we had passed another hurdle. "Come on, time to sleep. We have a big day planned for tomorrow. I heard it was someone's birthday!"

I was still hoping to finish things off after two really great starts and possibly to distract him from any birthday talk or plans. "Mmmm, can we sleep later, Edward?" I smiled at him wickedly.

Edward chuckled, desire briefly flashing in his eyes. "Patience is a virtue, love." He stood up and reached for my hand.

"I don't want to be patient," I mumbled as I took his proffered hand and rose from the couch. My body seemed to agree with Edward however, and I couldn't fight off a yawn. "Fine, you win this round. Next time I may not be so easy to fend off." I shuffled towards the bedroom.

"Duly noted." He tried to look appropriately scared at my threat, but it didn't work.

"Some actor you are," I teased, my eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, well, sometimes all I am is just a pretty face." Edward sighed melodramatically, his lips curving into my much loved crooked smile.

A/N Please Review!