A/N Special thanks to my betas HEAR and Sirenastarot through PTB. And as always, I don't own Twilight.
A few of you may think "Hey, I read this chapter already"... if you read the update for Chapter 9 the minute it was posted, than you probably did. In my eagernes to post Chapter 9, I accidently uploaded Chapter 10 instead of Chapter 9. So if this chapter looks a little familiar, roll back and read the real Chapter 9: Declarations.
Chapter Ten: Birthday Wishes
EPOV
Today was Bella's birthday. I sat at her computer trying to come up something suitable to celebrate the day. I wanted to take her to the fanciest restaurant and buy her something worthy of her beauty and kindness. But I knew that Bella didn't like to be fussed over or have a lot of money spent on her. She didn't feel worthy of such things, which made her the most worthy of all. In the past month, I'd wanted to take her out to dinner, or more realistically, out to breakfast or lunch so many times, but she would always try to talk me out of it. I had only been able to get her to agree to any kind of actual date-like event a couple of times. So, despite being crazy in love with each other, we had only been on two actual dates. I had so much hope her birthday would be number three. It's silly, really, to be concerned about it. I sleep every night next to her, yet I'm worried about the actual number of dates. I laughed at myself. The third date was always considered the crucial one where a person decides if he or she wants to continue to date that person and how physical the relationship will be. I could definitely say that I wanted to continue to see Bella. In fact, I couldn't wait to introduce her to my family. That was not going to be such an easy feat when my life was going to have a very solitary focus across the country for the next few months.
I looked at the list of restaurants in the area again on the computer screen. There was this little, intimate French restaurant right in Vermilion called Chez François. It was right on the river and had a great view. I drooled a bit, imagining Bella dressed up in a sexy cocktail dress. I was pretty certain her reaction would be quite the opposite. She abhorred dressing up or any kind of frou-frou business. She was feminine enough in her own right, just not girly.
I would not drag her to a fancy restaurant on her birthday, but hopefully I could get her to go to one eventually, maybe in LA. I smiled thinking of her coming to visit me. I would be able to show her some of my favorite places -- where I found the best mushroom ravioli, where I go to think, to get away, and my own small version of home. There I could play my piano for her. My heart warmed with the idea. I pictured myself sitting at my piano, my hands stroking the keys while Bella sat next to me. And after I played for her, my hands would lead her into my bedroom where I would finish the composition. I shivered and tried to regain my focus.
"Focus. Birthday. Bella," I said to myself. Only the truly crazy people talk to themselves. Guess I'm pretty crazy. My imagination regretfully dropped the fantasy that was running wild in my head. Crazy for the girl.
The Chez François idea was tossed and I kept surfing the Internet for more inspiration. I had the entire evening planned out, only drawing a blank when it came to deciding on a restaurant. I was scrolling through a local community website when I came across something interesting.
"Aha!" I declared.
I clicked on the link and scanned the information that popped up. Eagerly, I scribbled down the location and a few key details. Once I was done, I cleared out my browsing history so she couldn't try to figure out what we were doing when I wasn't looking. My timing couldn't have been any better; I heard the shower shut off in Bella's bathroom. Perfect.
I stood up and stretched lazily. Today was going to be a good day. I walked into the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. Bella walked softly into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me in a backwards hug. I could smell her strawberry shampoo and freesia body wash as she rested her head on my back.
"Happy Birthday, love," I murmured as I finished washing the last dish.
"So what is on the agenda today?" Bella asked. Her voice was slightly muffled by my t-shirt.
I wiped my hands off on a dishtowel and turned to face her, being careful not to break out of her embrace. My eyes twinkled as I looked down at her. "Well, I thought we'd go to the mall-"
"The mall?" she broke in, pouting. "But it's my-"
I put a finger over her lips to stop her. "Then off to Chez François for dinner." I was having a hard time not laughing. My lips twitched as I tried to rein in my smile. Her reactions were perfect.
She was really starting to get upset. "Edward! That's too-"
I interrupted her with a quick kiss. "Shhh, love. I was just teasing you." I lightly touched the tip of her nose with my finger. "While I would love to take you to a fancy restaurant sometime, I know you wouldn't want to go to a place like that for your birthday."
"So no mall?" she asked, hopefully.
"No mall." I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her waist. My chin rested perfectly on top of her head while I enjoyed the simple pleasure of her tiny frame in my arms.
"So what are we really doing?"
"It's a surprise, birthday girl!"
"No hints?" she pouted.
"Nope!" I laughed again and popped another kiss on her lips. This was fun. "Let me hop in the shower real quick and then we'll be off."
After we were both dressed and ready to roll, we hopped into my Volvo and took off. I reached over with my right hand and took her left one, resting our joined hands on my leg. While I drove, I would steal glimpses of her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes she would catch me and blush or I'd see her lips twitch as she fought off a smile.
We had been driving for about twenty minutes before her curiosity got the best of her. "Edward, where are we going?" She looked at me, pleading. Bella hated surprises.
"We're almost there, sweetheart." I kissed her hand that I was holding. She blushed again. I loved being able to do that to her and I would sorely miss that when I was in LA.
When I made the final turn, Bella figured it out. "We're going to the carnival?" she asked excitedly.
I nodded. "Is that okay? I thought it would be fun."
She grinned, her eyes dancing. "I love carnivals. I don't do Ferris wheels though; they scare me."
"Okay, no Ferris wheels. Can I try and win you a stuffed animal?" I asked, winking at her as we got out of the car. Before I locked the Volvo, I grabbed my Mariner's hat from the backseat and slipped it on.
"Aren't you supposed to when it's your girlfriend's birthday?" she teased back.
Girlfriend. I liked the sound of that. We had never really defined what we were. We were just together, that was it. To hear Bella refer to herself as my girlfriend was pretty awesome. I couldn't help but smile. "I guess I am supposed to do that for my girlfriend on her birthday."
I wrapped my arm around her waist as we walked into the carnival. I paid for our tickets without too much of a protest from Bella. I loved the times we had alone at the house, but it was nice to be out in public too. And for me, personally, to be out in public and not being chased down by a legion of screaming fans or psychotic paparazzi was quite refreshing. As we walked around, I would occasionally steal kisses from her. Being a man, I had to admit I enjoyed kissing her in public. I was letting all the other guys there know that she was mine. Was it chauvinist and kind of caveman-ish? Possibly. But I loved her and privately enjoyed the jealous glances that I was getting from men and teenaged boys as we passed.
It was around lunchtime so I bought some corn dogs and steak fries for us to share from one of the vendors. Bella found a table that was out of the way from the majority of the crowd. School had just gotten out for the day so the carnival was full of teenagers. It was too hard to eat, talk, and walk with the amount of people around and not make a mess all over ourselves. Bella managed to get ketchup all over her face from her corndog. It was adorable. She was a klutz even when she wasn't on her feet. I snapped a picture of her with my camera phone before she was able to wipe it off. She made me promise that I wouldn't post it on the Internet.
We started walking around again and Bella found a booth with the perfect stuffed animal as a prize. It was a plushy, bronze-furred mountain lion with green eyes.
"Please, Edward?" she begged, her eyes full of excitement.
"I never could say no to you," I replied, kissing her forehead.
The booth Bella chose was one of those baseball test of skill games. I had to knock over a certain amount of stacked old-fashioned milk jugs to get the prize. To get the mountain lion that Bella coveted, I would need to knock down a lot of milk jugs. I handed the booth attendant some money and got to work. I knocked down three stacks in a row before I missed one.
"Too bad Emmett isn't here," I said to Bella as she watched hopefully. "He'd win the whole damn booth for you."
She laughed and blushed at the same time. "I don't want the whole booth. I just want that mountain lion."
"And why is that?" I threw another pitch and knocked down a fifth set of jugs. I gave the attendant more money to rack the jugs back up again.
"Because it reminds me of you," she whispered and looked at her feet shyly, embarrassed.
I pulled her chin up with my free hand and gazed in her eyes. "Don't ever feel embarrassed about how you feel, Bella, or about us."
She nodded, her eyes shining.
"Love you, Bella," I said quietly as I tossed another ball at the jugs, knocking them down.
"Love you, too."
She rested her hand at the small of my back, one finger playing with a belt loop of my jeans. I did't think I would ever get tired of hearing her say she loved me.
Eventually after two more rounds of knocking the milk jugs down, I won Bella her mountain lion. She named him Anthony. She held onto that little plush lion so tightly I almost got jealous. I satisfied myself with keeping one arm around her waist. It was actually becoming physically uncomfortable to not touch her. Not even in a sexual manner, just that she had become such a part of me that to be away from her was unpleasant. Friday is not going to be fun, I groaned inwardly. And neither are the months that I will be working on Everything But.
We spent the next several hours at the carnival. Bella tried her hand at one of the booths but wasn't able to win anything. There were a couple of rides that we went on, the ones that just spin and spin and spin in circles. But mostly we just had fun being together. When it was getting close to six o'clock we started to walk back to my car. The second half of Bella's birthday was about to start!
Bella was inquisitive as ever, but I refused to budge on hints. When I pulled into the Midnight Sun, she looked completely puzzled.
"You're taking me to my bar for my birthday?"
"No, love," I said, kissing her lightly. "I am dropping you off for a little bit. I need to get a few things set up and if you see what I am doing, it will spoil the surprise."
Bella pouted again, but had an excited glint in her eye. "Okay, Anthony and I will go have a drink while we are waiting." She scooped up her stuffed animal and got out of the car.
"Hey, where are you going?" I asked as I quickly hopped out of the car.
She turned towards me, confused. "Did you not just drop me off here so you can go do whatever it is you have to do?"
"Yes, but you forgot something."
"What?" she looked around to make sure she had everything.
"This." I pulled her over to me and kissed her roughly. I ran my tongue across her lips and had the pleasure of feeling her shudder in my arms. Just as quickly as I grabbed her, I released her.
Her eyes looked a bit dazed and her lips were swollen from the rough treatment, but she didn't seem to mind. A slow smile crept across her face. "No, I certainly wouldn't want to forget that."
She made her way into the door, slightly wobbly, but without tripping. I returned to my car and sped away. My excitement over the rest of the night had me practically bouncing in my seat.
An hour later I returned to the bar. Gone were my jeans and t-shirt. I had traded them in for a pair of linen khaki pants and a blue short-sleeved button down shirt. I tried to control my unruly hair, but as always it had a mind of its own. As I approached the door to Midnight Sun, I was hit by a sudden bought of nervousness. I took a deep breath and walked in.
Jacob was at the door as usual. He did a double take when he saw that I was out of my usual jeans and my hair had been somewhat tamed. He whistled low in his throat and smiled, mouthing 'good job' as I passed. My eyes searched out Bella and she wasn't hard to find. She was sitting at the bar facing away from me, talking to Angela who was working as the bartender this evening. Angela looked up as I approached. I put my finger to my lips, asking her silently not to give me away. Angela's lips twitched as she fought a smile while talking to Bella. Bella never picked up on Angela's sudden facial tic and remained seated with her back to me.
I stopped about two feet from Bella's back and stared at her. She sat with her right arm propped up on the bar, her chin resting in her hand, as she continued to talk to Angela. Bella's long brown hair fanned down across her back, glossy and full. Her hair rippled as she moved slightly on her stool. I was finally close enough to hear what they were saying.
"I wonder what he is up to. It's been an hour already," Bella said.
"I'm sure whatever Anthony has in mind you will absolutely love it, Bella." Angela looked up at me again, her eyes twinkling.
"I hope so," Bella replied, oblivious to the fact that I was standing right behind her.
"Bella," I called, softly.
I saw her back jerk in surprise. She whipped around in the bar stool, her hair flying around her. I held up a bouquet of red Gerber daisies. "For you, my love."
Her mouth formed into an "O" as she looked at them then to me. "Oh Edward, they're beautiful!" she whispered. As she reached for the flowers, she realized her slip. Her eyes locked with mine, full of shock and apology. "I mean Anthony," she whispered a little louder. Bella buried her face in the blossoms and tried not to look as panicked as she felt.
I froze as she called me by my real name. I looked around quickly to see if anyone picked up on Bella's slip. Thankfully, Angela was the only one close enough to overhear and of anyone there, I knew I could trust her discretion.
Angela looked back and forth between Bella and me, her eyes furrowed in confusion. "Who? What?"
Bella cringed, her shoulders slumping. She kept her face down and her eyes trained on the daisies.
"It's okay, Bella." I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I mean it. It's okay." She still wouldn't look at me.
I sat down at the bar next to Bella. Angela leaned over the bar towards me, her eyes suspicious. She looked over at Bella's forlorn face and frowned.
"What is going on? Why did she call you Edward?" Angela asked, whispering.
Matching my volume to Angela's, I answered. "Because that's my name." I held up my hand to keep her from interrupting when it looked like she was going to speak. "Anthony is my middle name. Most people know me as Edward Cullen."
Angela's eyes widened as she shot a quick glance at Bella. "The Edward-"
I nodded and interrupted her again. "No one here knows but Bella. I'd like to keep it that way. Eventually, I can tell you why but now is not the best time or place."
Angela nodded with a knowing smile. "I understand. Thank you for trusting me, Anthony."
That's all I needed to hear. I could tell she was curious and wanted to ask questions, but she did not pry. I turned to Bella, who was still agonizing over what happened. "Bella, love, its okay."
"But what about the papp-" she whispered urgently before I gently cut her off.
"Angela isn't going to run to a phone the minute we leave. She realizes we need discretion. It was an accident, no harm done." I kissed the top of her head, enjoying her scent. "Now, come on. We have more birthday celebrating to do!"
Bella rose with her stuffed animal and flowers in her hands, but I could still tell she was beating herself up. I didn't have to be a mind reader to figure that out. She kept her gaze down at the bouquet in her hands. I cradled her face in my hands, gently tilting her face up as I brushed my lips across hers. Bella still wouldn't look at me. So I kissed her again, but with more pressure. Bella finally started to respond, melting against my body. I wrapped one arm around her waist as she locked her arms around my neck. The petals of the daisies tickled the back of my neck.
I wasn't aware of anyone or anything else in the world except my beautiful Bella in my arms. It wasn't until the bar patrons started to cheer and clap enthusiastically that I became aware of where we were. Bella stiffened as she came back down to Earth with me. She dropped her arms to my hips and blushed. I relinquished her lips but kept her cheek cupped in my hand, stroking her face with my thumb. Jacob rolled his eyes as he stood watch at the front door.
"I love you, Bella," I murmured quietly.
"I love you, too," she whispered, finally gathering the courage to look at me.
"Please don't ever hide your face from me. You are too beau-"I stopped myself. That word was forbidden. It reminded her too much of the assault. "Too gorgeous to try to hide away." Now I was the one who let one slip.
Bella smiled, finding the same irony that I did. "It's okay. Beautiful doesn't bother me like it used to do, especially when you say it. It's different when I hear it coming from you."
"My beautiful Bella," I whispered as I held my hand out to her. I kissed her gently as I brought her towards me. Before I got too distracted, I pulled away and gave Bella one of my megawatt smiles. "Time to go!"
"Thank you Angela!" I called out as we walked out the bar.
Bella stumbled a bit as if she were in a daze. My excitement grew as we approached my car. I led Bella over to the passenger side door and helped her in the car. Once she was settled, I walked to my side of the car and joined her. I could feel Bella's eyes on me the entire time.
"You changed," she observed, fingering the sleeve of my shirt as I drove.
"What? Oh, yeah, my clothes." I smiled sheepishly at her. "What do you think?"
I felt her gaze burn into me as she looked me over thoroughly, her eyes a deep, molten brown. "Blue is a good color for you. Why did you change?"
"I thought it would be more fitting for the rest of the evening."
Bella self-consciously looked down at her clothes. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a green tank top. I thought she looked great. Hell, she would look great in a potato sack. Nooo… I wasn't biased at all.
"Should I change too?" she asked shyly.
"Only if you want to, love. You look great in what you have on now."
Bella looked down at her clothes again, considering. She picked an invisible piece of lint from her jeans. "If we have time, I'd like to."
"We have all the time in the world, Bella."
She blushed again.
We pulled up the gravel driveway to Bella's house a short time later. I helped her out of the car with a flourish.
"Such the gentleman," she giggled softly.
"Of course. My mother taught me well."
We walked into the house hand-in-hand as the sun began to set. Bella kissed me softly before she ran off to her bedroom to change.
"Meet me out back when you are ready," I called. I walked into the kitchen with her flowers to find a vase to put them in. After rummaging around in the cabinets, I finally found one and filled it with water. I attempted to arrange them in some manner but gave up and just left them as they were in the vase. Alice would have this looking great in two seconds. Finishing the arranging with a resigned sigh, I continued out to the backyard to wait for Bella.
I stood facing away from the house and watched the waves crash along the shore below. The sounds of the lake were very soothing and this had quickly become one of my favorite places to be. I was lost in thought about ten minutes later when I heard hesitant footsteps behind me. As Bella got closer, I resisted the urge to turn to face her. I wanted to cherish this moment for as long as I could; the calmness of the evening, the anticipation of seeing her and surprising her. Moments like this didn't come often and would buoy me when I was gone. The strawberry scent of her shampoo increased as she approached me. I finally couldn't take it any longer and turned around. A gasp slipped out from my lips as I beheld the vision before me. Bella stood with a timid smile and downcast eyes. Her rich brown hair flowed like silk in the slight breeze. A dark green sundress contrasted delicately with her pale, luminous skin. The thin material hugged her body as the breeze ruffled the hem of the dress. I was enthralled. She blushed under my gaze.
"Bella… you look… amazing. Absolutely beautiful." I was at a loss for words. She wasn't in anything fancy, just a cotton sundress. But there was something about how the wind played with her hair and the hem of her skirt, how the light from the setting sun reflected off her skin, the delicate blush that rose to her cheeks, that kept me completely and totally enthralled. I would remember this moment for the rest of my life.
I extended my hand to her, "Come. Dinner awaits."
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BPOV
I typically hated having anyone do anything special for my birthday. However, Edward had become the one exception. For the first time since I was a small child, I wasn't annoyed about being fussed over. I still hated surprises but Edward's surprises had been very pleasant so far. In another change of pace for me, I really cared about what I looked like tonight. He had always seen me in my work clothes or jeans, the perpetual tomboy. So tonight, I wanted to look pretty for Edward, like the woman I was and not just a tomboy. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. He's done it again, making me blush, and he's not even in the room.
I quickly tore through my closet trying to find something suitably womanly. Pants, pants, and more pants! I was getting frustrated. I know I have a dress in here somewhere. I kept digging through my rather boring closet until I found what I was looking to wear. Within a couple of minutes, I had changed into my one and only dress. I brushed my hair and my teeth and tried to calm my nerves. Not knowing what shoes would go with the dress, I decided to go barefoot.
I walked slowly out of my bedroom and looked around for Edward. I still felt a pang of guilt for my slip at the bar, but it seemed to blow over quickly. Angela was a lifesaver. I knew she would keep Edward's secret to herself. Padding into the kitchen, I smiled when I saw the flowers from Edward sitting haphazardly in a vase. It was hard to be upset when you had Gerber daisies to look at. They were such happy flowers. I took a deep breath, unsure of why I felt so nervous, and walked outside.
His back was turned towards me, his gaze out over the lake and the setting sun. The breeze ruffled his messy hair. I slowed down my approach so I could look at him more intently. His clothes fit him well. The linen khaki pants sat low on his slender hips, but they weren't too baggy, just loose. It looked like he wasn't wearing any shoes either. The breeze picked up and pressed Edward's pants into the contours of his legs highlighting his lean muscles. His shirttail obscured the view of his perfect backside. I was disappointed. My eyes roved upwards, seeing how the blue fabric of his shirt moved with him as he shifted his weight. Edward was by far the most handsome man I had ever met and one of the kindest.
I stopped a few feet from him as he turned to face me. His green eyes deepened as his gaze drank me in, stunned. I felt naked as a breeze came and blew through the thin cotton fabric of my dress. I shivered from the breeze and goosebumps sprang up all over my arms. His gaze wasn't helping this feeling at all which made me blush again.
"Bella… you look… amazing. Absolutely beautiful," my real life Greek god said. He looked speechless. Slowly he extended his hand to me. "Come. Dinner awaits."
I took his hand and only as we approached the stairs to the beach did I see what he had been planning. Small candles in little white bags were everywhere. There was a candle on each stair from the top of the stairs down to the beach. From the bottom of the stairs, candles formed a glowing path to a large blanket in the sand. A low table was next to the blanket with something on it that I could not identify at this distance. Larger open candles of all sizes were firmly planted into the sand surrounding the blanket and table. Everything on the beach was wrapped in candlelight. It was breathtaking.
"Edward, oh my God," I whispered, completely overcome. How could someone be this handsome and this romantic and be real?
He smiled his crooked smile, which made my breath catch. "I'm glad you like it," he said quietly.
We approached the stairs and I realized it would be difficult for two people to walk down them with the candles sharing the stair. Edward had a quicker and better solution than I did. Before I could speak, he swooped down and picked me up, cradling me in his arms.
"Edward!" I squealed, laughing, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder.
He grinned at me and kissed the tip of my nose. Edward walked down the stairs carefully, being mindful of the candles and me in his arms. When he reached the bottom, he continued to carry me across the sand.
"Edward, you can put me down now. I can walk," I teased.
He shook his head. "Nope, I like having you right here." He tightened his grip. I felt his warm, sweet breath across my face and it made my pulse race. He carried me to the blanket and gently set me down in the middle. He sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "Look," he whispered, pointing to the horizon. The sun was just starting to set.
"Don't you have just perfect timing, Mr. Cullen?" I teased.
"Good planning pays off," he replied, his green eyes light and happy.
After the sunset, Edward leaned over to the low table and reached inside the basket. I noticed now that there was something behind the basket as well, but it was too dark for me to identify. He started placing various covered dishes in front of us. Steam rose from a few of them. Edward's lips twitched as he tried hard not to grin like a fool. It didn't last very long. He was clearly quite excited. The last things he pulled out of the basket were two wine glasses and a bottle of wine. He started pulling the covers off the dishes revealing a very tasty dinner. There were grilled steaks, roasted asparagus, a big garden salad, and little red potatoes with parsley. He quickly portioned out everything and placed a very enticing plate in front of me and for himself. Edward handed me a wine glass and quickly worked off the cork on the bottle. Before a minute had gone by, I was able to enjoy the bouquet given off by the delicate red wine.
Throughout the whole presentation, Edward did not make a sound. His ear-to-ear smile was a pleasure to watch. It was like watching a dance, each part smooth and graceful. Finally Edward stopped and gazed at me openly. He reached over and traced the line of my jaw with his finger. "Happy birthday, Bella," he murmured huskily.
I looked down at my lap, unbelievably happy, but shy at the same time. "Thank you, Edward." I looked back up at him and saw all the love he felt for me pouring out of his mesmerizing green eyes. "This is all so wonderful."
His smile got bigger. "You're welcome. You are worth every bit of it. Let's eat before it gets cold."
The food was unbelievably delicious. I had no idea how Edward got all the food prepared, plus set up the candles, and got cleaned up within an hour. He had to have help. But I was too happy to really care how he did it, just glad that he did do it. Men like Edward did not come around often. We talked throughout dinner. And like at the coffee shop that first night, we shared funny stories from our past. Now that I knew who he really was, he was able to tell me about some hijinks that went on during some of his movies. I almost choked on a sip of wine after one particularly funny story. Eventually we moved onto a more serious topic, us. We both had tried to avoid the topic of him leaving, but the elephant in the room could not be ignored any longer.
"I am going to miss you so much," Edward murmured. He caressed my cheek lightly. I closed my eyes and tried to lock this moment into my memory.
"I'm going to miss you too," I whispered. I couldn't look him in the eye. If I did, I would break down. So I stared at my hands that were resting in my lap and fidgeted. There was something I needed to ask him, but I was afraid of the answer. I decided to warm my way up to it. "How are you getting to the airport on Friday?"
"I was going to drive up there. I have to drop off the Volvo at the Enterprise rental counter in the Continental terminal."
"Oh," I responded, defeated. I thought furiously for a moment, trying to come up with a way around the problem. "Can you drop off the car at any Enterprise location?"
"Probably."
"Perfect!" I exclaimed happily. "There's an Enterprise in Elyria by the mall. We could drop the car off there and I could take you the rest of the way to Hopkins."
Edward grinned. "That sounds like a great idea."
Encouraged, I went ahead with the one question that scared me. "After you leave, when will I see you again?" I bit my lip as I speared a potato with my fork and pushed it around my plate.
He ran this hands through his hair nervously. Edward looked hesitant to answer. He signed before finally answering, "Unfortunately, I really don't know. The director hasn't provided us with a schedule yet. Until I get one, I won't know when I can come back."
My face fell.
"But," Edward continued, "he is known for getting things done as quickly as possible. He wants it right but doesn't want it to take all year either. Hopefully the majority of the work will be done by the holidays. I think the studio wants the movie completely done in time for release next summer. So hopefully shooting won't take very long so I can come back soon."
I looked down at my plate again and finally ate the potato I had been playing with. Most of my dinner was gone now except for a few potatoes which were growing cold. Edward's answer to my most feared question was about as bad of an answer as I could imagine. Hanging in this limbo of not knowing was going to be torture. I still doubted whether I was going to see him again once he left.
He seemed to pick up on the direction of my thoughts. "Bella, it will be okay. I'll see you again as soon as humanly possible. You are my life. I can't imagine being away from you. Unfortunately I am going to have to find out for a time. I love you so very much, my beautiful Bella."
Edward stroked my cheek. His touch always made me feel better. I still felt like I was approaching a pit of despair that threatened to suck me in. His touch kept it at bay, for now.
"Will you call me when you get into LA so I know you got there okay?" I asked quietly.
He looked at me warmly, a smile creeping onto his face. "Of course, and I'll call you every night when I get home from the set, if you'd like. Or, you could call me when you are done at the bar if you wanted. And we always have texting."
I really liked the idea of talking to him every night. It would help keep the bed from feeling so horribly empty without him. Sleeping without him next to me would be a challenge to get used to, but talking to him would help ease that pain. "I would like that. I will miss hearing your voice if we don't talk each day. I will miss you period."
Edward's face softened as he looked at me; what I said had pleased him greatly. He took our plates and set them to the side next to the basket they originally came from. He wasn't done though. Edward reached behind the table and pulled out his guitar. Oh, he planned this quite well, I thought to myself, impressed.
Edward closed his eyes and began to play a soft, sweet melody. It was a song I had never heard before. Each strum of the guitar swirled around us. Then he began to sing. His voice on his albums was nothing compared to the velvet honey I heard now. As I listened, I felt soothed. The song was gentle and soft, like a lullaby. Edward finally opened his eyes and looked right into mine as he continued to play and sing. His eyes glowed with love. Even if I wanted to look away, I couldn't. The lure of his gaze was too strong. My skin tingled from the tumult of emotions that swirled around us. When he finished the song, I stared at him in awe.
"Edward, that... that was beautiful," I whispered. "What was that?"
One side of his mouth curled up in a smile. "Your lullaby."
My voice caught and my eyes welled up with tears. "My…?"
"Yes. You inspired it. You inspire me."
I bit my lip again, completely floored. "Edward..." I touched his face, trying to see if he was real or if this was just a dream.
His smile became more crooked, transforming into the smile of his that I loved most. "Happy birthday, Bella."
Overcome in so many different ways, I did the only thing I felt I could do. I reached out to him, grabbing his shirt and pressing my lips to his. I was filled with love and admiration and awe for this man, this angel with a kind soul, who looked like a god, and who wrote a song just for me. Edward set his guitar on the ground on the other side of him and enveloped me in his arms. Our kiss deepened dramatically. There was no other place in the world that I wanted to be than right there in his arms.
We eventually had to separate to breathe. He rested his forehead against mine as we panted. I was lightheaded but not all of it was from the lack of oxygen.
"Thank you, Edward. This was a great birthday."
"I'm glad you like it," he said roughly, before he took possession of my lips again. His hands ran through my hair, trailing down to my waist. Where ever his hands traveled, the fire burned, electricity shooting into me from his fingertips. I found myself lying on my back with Edward hovering above me as our lips stayed meshed together. My heart beat wildly in my chest.
Edward lay next to me on his side facing me with his hand resting on my stomach, his thumb gently stroking back and forth. "How did I get so lucky?" he murmured, almost to himself. He brushed a stray hair from my face before returning his hand to my stomach.
I didn't reply as I gazed at him, not trusting my voice at that moment. I rested my hand on top of his and watched them rise and fall as I breathed. This was heaven. I could have died at that moment and have been perfectly happy. Well, I thought, I'd have just one regret.
"Edward, can I ask you for something?"
He seemed surprised by my question, but answered quickly and honestly, "Anything."
"Take me to bed." I said, choosing to tell him what I wanted instead of asking for it. The cat was out of the bag now.
Earlier this week, before he told me he loved me, I would not have had the courage to say this to him. Now his love gave me all the encouragement I needed. I still wondered how I could compare to the other women he had been with before, despite the fact that I was only assuming that he had more experience that I did. We never really talked in detail about any previous sexual partners, just that we had sex before. I desperately did not want to disappoint him and was afraid I would. Besides Jacob, I only had a few other partners. When things were good with Jacob, the sex was good too. The few others--not so much. I had become intimate much too soon in those short-lived relationships and the sex was disappointing to say the least. After dealing with some insecurities and a whole lot of soul-searching, I realized rushing the physical connection without cementing the emotional connection had quickly killed those relationships. After that realization, I decided sex would have to wait until there was something more. I hadn't necessarily thought that "more" would be love, but now that it was, I'd waited long enough. I wanted this part of him-- for me, for him, for us-- before he left… so I'd have it with me always even if he never came back.
Edward sucked in a breath as his eyes smoldered with green fire, his hand tightening on my stomach. I felt something hard pressing against my hip. He wanted me as badly as I wanted him.
"Bella," he choked. He cupped my face with his hand and looked at me intently. He had to take several deep breathes to steady himself before saying anything further. "Bella, I want you so much-"
I cut him off, "Then take me."
The normal shy Bella who never would have been bold enough to say something like this to someone had been replaced by a woman I never knew was inside of me. I genuinely wanted Edward but part of my boldness that night was spurred by the fact he was leaving in three days. I wanted what I could get of him before he left. A part of me wondered if the separation would be worse if we did this. We had been pretty much inseparable for the past month. We had created a lot of memories together. Would doing this make the distance easier or harder? I only had a couple of partners in my life and physical intimacy was never anything I rushed into with any of them. Would I regret this once he was gone? Would he respect me afterward? Would he come back?
Edward's emerald eyes burned now like never before and his breathing was accelerated. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. "You are making this increasingly difficult for my self-control, love."
I merely smiled at him and ran my hand down his chest, letting my hand rest on the waistband of his pants.
He took another deep breath. "Bella, I love you very much and want you even more. But, I want this to be perfect and to be at the right time. I don't want to rush into this just because I'm leaving. You are such an incredible woman and I don't want you to regret anything."
I was crushed. My face flushed from the rejection and I dropped my hand from his waist. I knew he said that he wanted our first time to be perfect and for the right reason and while I understood that and loved him even more for it, it didn't make the rejection hurt any less
Edward saw my face crumble. "Bella, please, don't be upset," he begged, his eyes full of pain. "I promise you, this is not a no, just not tonight." He touched my face tenderly and kissed my hands. "I want to do right by you. You deserve so much more. I want it to be perfect. Do you understand?"
I nodded but I couldn't look him in the eye. My body cried out for a release that was not going to happen tonight unless I took matters into my own hands.
Edward kissed my forehead and gently kissed my lips before sitting up. He reached for his guitar again and played. His music soothed the hurt while I watched him become absorbed in his task. Edward didn't play my lullaby again but played other songs, some of which I had heard before. His voice wrapped around me in ways I wished his body would.
Edward stopped playing after about an hour, putting his guitar away and scooting next to me again. He pulled me back against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. We sat there and watched the evening tide roll in. Stars twinkled in the clear evening sky aswe pointed out different constellations as we recognized them.
"I love you, Bella," he said quietly, breaking the comfortable silence.
"I love you too, Edward."
"I have one more surprise for you. Well, two actually."
"What?" I asked. I couldn't imagine what he had up his sleeve now.
Edward released me to lean over and pull two more things from the basket. One was a small square about four inches on each side. The other was a tube about nine inches long. Both were wrapped in shiny paper and had bows on them. He turned to face me.
"Edward, what is this? I told you I didn't want presents."
"You wanted Anthony, didn't you?" he asked wryly.
"That's different," I sniffed.
He laughed. "Fine. Just open your presents."
I took the square first and carefully tore open the paper. Inside was a clear jewel case with a silver CD inside. The only writing visible was my name written in black permanent marker in Edward's hand on the CD.
"What's on this?" I asked.
"Your lullaby and some other special music that you inspired. None of it has ever been released."
"I inspired…"
Edward nodded.
I was completely floored. This had to be the best gift I had ever received.
"Wait, how did you do this," I asked, holding up the CD, "while you have been here?"
"I have my ways," he said mysteriously with a wink. "Here, open your other present."
I took the tube from his hand and eagerly unwrapped it. It was a cardboard tube with caps on both ends. I took my dinner knife and pried off the cap on one end. After the cap popped off, I tipped the tube over and a roll of stiff Manila paper slid out. I carefully unrolled the paper. It was sheet music. "Bella's Lullaby" was written on the top of the first page. This was my song! The name and all the notes written on the music lines were all done in Edward's neat script. There were also words to the song written below the notes.
"That is the only physical copy of your song, Bella," he said softly.
My eyes were shining, tears gathering in the corners. The CD was just one-upped as the best gift ever. I looked over the sheet music, remembering a little from piano lessons I took as a child. Although I remembered how to read music, no amount of practice would allow me to do this song justice the way Edward could.
"Edward, thank you. This is just..." I trailed off. There were no words to express how I felt at that moment. I was so touched that he would write a song for me, but to record it and then pen a copy of the sheet music, just for me? Just for ordinary me?
"You're very welcome, love. I'm glad you like them."
"I love them," I corrected. He smiled happily. I leaned over and kissed him gently. "Thank you."
He wrapped me in his arms again and we stayed there on the beach until all the candles burned out. Neither one of us wanted this day to end.
A/N For those of you who have seen RM and mayhap have thought the carnival scene from the movie was my inspiration here… let me assure you that this chapter was written last summer and was definitely not inspired by RM, just a nice coincidence.
In a totally unrelated bit of information… I have been advised by my beta/florist, Sirenastarot, that Gerber daisies are actually named Gerbera daisies but everyone knows them as Gerber daisies. So there's your bit of trivia for the day. LOL
And as always... please review! :) Reviews get teasers!