A/N Special thanks to my PTB betas HEAR and Sirenastarot. And as always, I don't own Twilight.
Also super big thanks to Amydee who has been a big supporter of me and my story and encouraged me when I wanted to throw in the towel.
Chapter Thirteen: Mistakes
EPOV
I stared at my phone in shock. What the hell just happened? Tanya stood about three feet from me smirking as I glared at her. I was already pissed off that she just waltzed into my trailer like she owned the place, and the look on her face wasn't helping.
"What the fuck, Tanya? What is this all about?"
She walked slowly back over to me. "Oh, nothing. It's too bad that your little friend had to overhear us."
I started to see red. "There is no us, Tanya. I have told you several times I am not interested. I don't know where you get off storming into my trailer and not even having the courtesy to leave when I ask you to go. And then you throw yourself at me-"
"You liked it. You know you did. You couldn't keep your hands off of me," Tanya taunted.
"I was trying to push you off of me without hurting you," I spat, exasperated.
"Oh, but you liked being rough with me before, Eddie. Don't you remember?" she asked seductively.
"My name is Edward, Tanya, and that was a long time ago. We are not together anymore and never will be again," I said with all the strength my voice I could muster. "Please leave."
Tanya continued on, ignoring my request. "Oh but I beg to differ, Eddie. Everyone already knows about us, why do you keep fighting it?" She ran her hand down my chest with a look of triumph in her eyes.
Never before had I ever wanted to hit a woman until that moment. With all the restraint I possessed, I firmly removed her hand from my chest. As my mind whirled over Tanya's statement, something Bella said clicked in my head. "Everybody knows what, Tanya?" I asked carefully, my voice low.
"That we are together again, like we should be," she said matter-of-factly.
"And how would they know that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Because I told them. I know you are too shy and reserved to talk about our relationship, so I did," she replied calmly, brushing her strawberry blonde hair from her shoulders. She stood there so confident and sure of herself.
"The interview," I stated flatly.
She nodded with a wide smile. "See? It's all taken care of now. You don't need to string your little friend along any longer." There was a wicked gleam in her eyes.
"You came in here now knowing I was talking to her, didn't you?"
She looked at me, her cool blue eyes wide with innocence. "How could I know you'd be talking to her? Bella, isn't it?"
I didn't believe a word she said, especially after that 'meeting for coffee' debacle. Just about our roles my ass.
"Tanya, I am giving you three seconds to get out of my trailer before I throw you out." I was furious, livid, beyond any level of anger I'd ever felt. It wasn't just her I was mad at this time. She wasn't the only one to blame for my predicament.
She batted her eyelashes at me, testing me.
I walked right up to her and put my face inches from hers. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I roared. I finally knocked some of that cocky self-assurance from her. She actually looked scared.
"Okay, perhaps now is a bad time. I'll come back later," she said quickly, hurrying to the door.
"There will never be a later. EVER," I shouted.
Once Tanya had finally left my trailer, I tried to absorb the chaos that I found myself in. What happened? Bella broke up with me; that's what happened. But why? Why wouldn't she let me explain? Nothing happened; I would never cheat on Bella, especially not with Tanya. I stared at my phone again and tried to call Bella. It went straight to voicemail. I tried again. Voicemail. I tried three times, all went to voicemail. What am I going to do?
Phone still in hand, I called security and Jane, the personal assistant I hired shortly after returning to LA, and advised them that Tanya was not permitted in my trailer at any time for any reason. Jane huffed, but did as I said.
I sagged into my chair and held my head in my hands, everything from the past three months coming to a head. Everything from the moment I stepped into Midnight Sun and met Bella. Everything from when my life irrefutably changed.
I knew exactly where my first mistake was. I didn't tell Bella about my previous relationship with Tanya. I didn't want her to worry about anything. I knew she already felt she couldn't compete with the women in Hollywood and I didn't want her to obsess over Tanya. Bella just didn't understand that there was no competition. No woman in Hollywood could compare with Bella. Bella was everything I had ever wanted in a woman. I thought Tanya had ruined me for any kind of realistic relationship, the kind that had a future. With Bella, I had found something worth fighting for and I ended up sabotaging the relationship myself.
My second mistake was agreeing to meet Tanya for coffee. She had tried getting me alone ever since the day I returned to LA. Every time, I turned her down. A few weeks ago, she asked me to meet her for coffee, stating that it was to discuss our movie roles. She had been rather nice and not so crazy recently, so I agreed. I should've cancelled when she told me where she wanted to meet up. The coffee house she chose was in the heart of Hollywood where people went to be seen by the paparazzi. I was being photographed even before I sat down. Things were going well as we talked. We spoke of some of the harder parts of our roles and I actually started enjoying myself. When she wasn't trying to get into my pants, she actually wasn't that bad to be around. The meeting was ruined when she put her hand over mine and started rubbing my skin. It was only a split second before I quickly removed my hand from the table, but apparently not soon enough to prevent a photographer from snapping the shot that damned me. I told Tanya immediately to stop, that we weren't getting back together, and that I had a girlfriend that I loved very much. Apparently, she didn't get the hint. I think it just spurred her on to try harder.
I was so naïve to think Bella wouldn't eventually see the pictures. I knew the pictures were out there. My hope that she wouldn't find them was rather ingenuous and unworthy of Bella. She wasn't stupid and didn't live in some backwater town cut off from communication with the outside world. I was such a fool.
When I heard Tanya was doing an interview, I didn't think anything of it. Actors are expected to give interviews to help promote their work or just get extra media exposure. Based on the comments that Bella made, this interview was not all about the movie. I cringed thinking about what Tanya could have said that would make Bella doubt how I felt about her. The pictures that Bella found apparently gave whatever Tanya said enough clout to make it believable.
I walked over to the desk where my laptop was sitting and sat down. Taking a deep breath, I googled Tanya's interview. I almost broke the computer screen after I finished watching it. Before I gave in to my anger and tossed the laptop across the room, I carefully removed my fingers from the screen one by one.
"Tanya is so full of shit. I am going to kill that woman."
Needing to see the full extent of the damage done, I googled pictures of myself and Tanya. I cried out in frustration and anger from the results. There were many familiar pictures of me and Tanya from when we dated. Those pictures should not have been the problem because they were old. I kept scrolling through the results and found the coffee pictures. The image of Tanya holding my hand made my stomach churn. Bella mentioned recent pictures of Tanya and me kissing. The only time I've touched her is on set. My heart sank as new images of her and me kissing appeared on the screen. The tagline said something about our rekindled relationship.
"Oh no," I whispered.
The pictures showed the evidence of our 'rekindled' romance were from the set. The tagline wasn't dated so there would've been no way for people not intimately involved with the movie to know when they were taken. If Bella saw them, she could have no reason to think otherwise about Tanya and me. I am so fucked. Bella is never going to believe me. I wouldn't believe me either. What a fool I have been. I ran my hands through my hair and tugged on the ends forcefully. My roots protested but I continued torturing my hair.
I turned my laptop off and sat at my desk. I didn't know what I could possibly do now to fix this. With the interview and the photos, Bella was never going to believe a word I said, if she would ever answer the phone to let me plead my case. I felt lost, more lost than before I walked into her bar that fateful night. I wanted a bottle of vodka very badly. My only saving grace was there was no alcohol in my trailer.
I needed to talk to Alice. If anyone could help me salvage this situation, it was Alice. My sister was a genius when it came to relationships and advice.
I picked up my phone and dialed, hoping she wasn't with a client. Thankfully her perky voice came on after two rings. "Hi, Edward! How are you?"
"Not good, Alice. I need to talk to you about something very important. Are you busy tomorrow?"
"What's wrong, Edward? Are you okay?" My sister's bubbly voice turned anxious.
"I'm okay but I really need to talk to you. I need your help. Can you come down here tomorrow? I'll pay for your airfare."
"You don't need to buy my ticket, Edward, but I appreciate the offer. I have my own money." She giggled. Alice could only be serious for so long. "It'll be great to see you again. I haven't been to LA since the spring. Oooh, I can check out Rodeo Drive while I'm there too."
"Alice, please focus." She was easily distracted if shopping was even remotely in the equation.
"Sorry, Edward, you know how I am. I'll get the first flight out in the morning from Seattle and text you my flight information."
"Thank you, Alice. You have no idea how much this means to me," I said earnestly.
"It's about that girl isn't it?" she asked. She was always very perceptive. I had only told her a little bit about Bella.
"Yes."
"It'll be okay, Edward," she soothed with confidence.
"I hope so, Alice."
We ended the phone call and I buried my face in my hands again. Alice made me feel a little better about the situation but only marginally. I had finally found the one woman that I wanted more than any other in the world, and I might end up losing her over my stupidity.
My thoughts trailed back to the Friday when I left Ohio. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I felt like I was leaving half of myself there at the airport. Bella was doing such a good job of keeping herself together, but I could see the tears that were just waiting to fall. I felt similar feelings; the loss of her was enough to bring me to tears as well. The plane ride home -- well my other home since Bella's house felt like home -- was uneventful. I flipped through pictures of Bella on my phone to pass the time and tried to avoid the overly flirtatious flight attendant. Eventually, I fell asleep thinking about Bella.
When I landed, I could feel the vitality of Los Angeles before I even got off the plane. There was just something in the air -- besides the smog -- that got into my blood. Despite loving the slower pace of Ohio, I doubted I could ever completely forgo the energy of LA. Hopefully I'd be able to show Bella the appeal of this place sometime.
As soon as I got through the last security point and into baggage claim, photographers went nuts taking my picture. Marcus was right about them waiting for me to return to LA. The paparazzi were everywhere, a bigger pack than I was used to seeing at LAX. As expected, Marcus, with his trademark long black hair, waited off to one side for me. He had enough foresight to bring a security detail with him to keep the most zealous of paparazzi at bay. The guys Marcus found were impressive in stature. They looked bigger than Jacob and my brother.
As soon as I was within earshot, Marcus began a monologue of everything we needed to do that day. Apparently Hollywood could not wait even five minutes for me. Before he got too far into his spiel, I stopped him so I could call Bella. Her voice was calming magic to me. The noise of the airport and all the photographers faded away as we spoke. Only with Marcus's persistence was he able to break through our bubble. I finally had to say goodbye to Bella much sooner than I had originally planned.
One of the many things we took care of that first day was the whole personal assistant business. I wasn't real happy about Marcus pushing a PA on me, but I'd deal with it. It took me a few days to pick one I could tolerate. I settled on Jane, a petite blonde woman who was efficient and polite, but not very friendly. I really didn't care if she wasn't friendly or didn't like me. As long as she did her job and stayed out of my way, I would tolerate her. I thought having a PA was unnecessary, but it took some of the workload off Marcus. Personally, I thought this was the real reason why Marcus was so insistent on me hiring a PA.
A bit past midnight, I was finally able to get back to my apartment. I really didn't understand why Marcus felt the need to go as many places as we did as soon as I got off the plane. Maybe he needed to reassure people I was no longer a drunken basket case. Regardless, it was very late and I was beyond exhausted. My body was still on Ohio time, which made it three hours later than what it was here in California. I figured sleeping without Bella would be difficult to adjust to, but with how tired I was, that first night wasn't that hard at all. I didn't realize that Bella had called me until I was putting a few of my things away right before I passed out. I wanted to call Bella back but it would've been about five o'clock in the morning in Ohio and I didn't want to disturb her. My exhausted brain would not have been able to put sentences together that made any sense either. I set my alarm so I could wake up early enough to call her before she went to work.
Hearing Bella's voice that next morning was a great way to start the day. I instantly felt guilty about not calling her back the night before when I heard how sad she was when she answered the phone. She didn't say specifically what was bothering her, but it was easy to figure out. I never wanted her to feel that again because of me. We agreed to talk every day, regardless of when, and that was something I definitely did not have a problem doing. I would go crazy if I wasn't able to hear her voice ever day. I missed her like crazy and it had only been one day.
I decided then that I wanted to do something for her each week so she would always know that I was thinking about her. I arranged to have a different bouquet of flowers, all with a few Gerber daises mixed in, sent to her every Monday at the bar. I was right in the middle of our first rehearsal when she called me after receiving the first of what would end up being many weekly bouquets. I could feel the director's stare burning a hole in my back as I stepped outside to take the call. Bella was more important than anyone else. The very vivid things she told me she wanted to do as thanks for her flowers made it necessary for me to stay outside a few minutes longer to try to calm my body down. Certain things had reacted in a very pleasant way to her descriptions. Man, I love that woman.
The first rehearsals went great. I got to know some of the other actors who I hadn't worked with before and was able to reconnect with others I already knew. Many had heard of my issues over the past year and were glad to see I had cleaned up my act. The only person who made my skin crawl was Tanya. From the moment she saw me walk through the door, it looked like she wanted to eat me alive. It was not an attractive look for her. If this was a few years ago, my reaction may have been different, but not now. She was undeniably beautiful, but I realized in August that I preferred brunettes, specifically one particular brunette.
I tried spending as much free time on set with my friend Seth Clearwater who was also cast as my best friend in the movie. He was the first person in LA, besides Marcus, who I told about Bella. He was ecstatic. He couldn't wait to meet her. Seth also understood my issues with Tanya. We had been friends prior to my relationship with Tanya so he was there through the whole thing. After our very public and disastrous break -up, Seth discovered how persistent she could be when it concerned me. He always tried to be around when she was near so she couldn't corner me, as she seemed to do any time the opportunity presented itself.
Most nights, after we were done, groups of the cast and crew would go out for a bite to eat and to unwind. I really didn't feel up to it, but Seth begged me to go one night. I allowed myself a few beers but stayed away from the liquor. I wasn't sure if I could control myself with the harder stuff. Everyone I was out with stared at me when I took my first sip of a beer in front of them. I laughed and said I knew my limits now and wasn't going to turn into 'Crazy Eddie' anymore. As the night progressed, I became more and more depressed and retreated into myself with a beer. Every brown-haired woman I saw reminded me of Bella, which made the pain of our separation that much worse. Before it got too late, I tried to call Bella. It was hard for us to hear each other with all the noise, so I stepped outside. We had only spoken for a few minutes before Seth and one of the other guys came looking for me. Seth mouthed 'Tanya' as he approached. Not wanting to have to deal with Tanya while on the phone with Bella, I dejectedly ended the call and tried to hide from the shrew. The rest of the night did not improve my mood. I went home a few hours later, having successfully dodged Tanya at every turn. Several ladies who had become a part of our group tried to accompany me, but I declined. The only woman I wanted wasn't here. At home, lonely and frustrated, I vowed to not go out again.
Seth persisted and continued to try to get me to hang out. He wasn't trying to get me to hook up with anyone, he just didn't want me sitting home alone being depressed. It was just so difficult to go out and have fun when Bella wasn't around. So I stayed home and watched television or played the piano or guitar. I had left one of my touring guitars at Bella's, but I had my personal favorite in my apartment. Playing that guitar was like putting on a favorite pair of jeans. There was a level of comfort and familiarity that instantly soothed, no matter what was going on. I was able to relax while I waited for Bella to get off work so we could talk. I supposed it was kind of pathetic for me to be moping about my apartment; even I have to admit to that. I was hopelessly in love with her and had never felt like this before, so I really wasn't sure what else I was supposed to do. So I moped, thinking about when I would get to see her again.
A few weeks later, Seth apparently got tired of seeing me mope and tried to drag me out of my apartment kicking and screaming. I argued and even threatened to deck him, but he persisted. I finally gave up when something he said actually made sense. "Come on, Edward, do you really think Bella would want you to sit around your apartment and be depressed? I'm not saying you should shack up with anybody... just to come hang out with us a bit. You are allowed to have fun without your girlfriend around."
I looked up at him guiltily from my spot in my favorite recliner. I was starting to get stir crazy in my apartment, but I was hesitant about going out. I didn't want to have to deal with trying to avoid Tanya or any of the other girls that seemed to gravitate toward me when we were out. Seth continued to harass me so I finally gave in and went with the group he had gathered. This time it wasn't so bad. Seth had managed to find a place where we could be relatively anonymous and left alone. After that night, I felt more comfortable being out in public and agreed to go out more often.
Trying to talk to Bella when I was out was difficult. I tried to step away to a more quiet area but it wasn't always possible. Those conversations were always short, and she sounded like she was miffed. I knew she wouldn't begrudge me trying to be social, so I wasn't sure what to make of it. She called me out on it one night when I was home and bone tired. I was already exhausted and ended up being shorter with her than I intended. The parties weren't important, but I still wanted to go and hang out with my friends and I didn't have the mental capacity to discuss it with her that night. I just wanted to talk to my girlfriend who I missed terribly.
Tanya was still up to her tricks. When I went out with everyone, if she was there she always tried to single me out. Seth, the awesome friend that he was, always helped out and broke in on her attempts to get her claws into me. I laughed every time I saw the daggers that Tanya would send in Seth's direction. She knew what he was doing just as much as Seth and I knew what she was trying to do. I had to be nice to her because we were working together, but I certainly didn't like her or enjoy her company. Tanya's persistence was making me start to think she liked the chase more than the prize. Her intentions were made all the more clear with that disastrous meeting over coffee. I smacked myself in the head again thinking about how stupid I was for agreeing to that.
As we got closer to Thanksgiving, things had gotten a little strained with Bella. I hadn't meant it to be, it just kind of happened. Our shooting schedule was rigorous, so I was usually exhausted from the moment I got up regardless of what I did the night before. It felt like I was running on fumes every single day, and I wasn't the only one who felt like this. It was starting to take its toll on the entire cast and crew, and on my relationship with Bella. My borderline depression over missing her hadn't gone away, and the strain and exhaustion was making my depression worse. I didn't talk to her about it like I probably should have, mistake number three, because I didn't want her to worry unnecessarily. I didn't want her to think I was returning to my former self, the drunk, miserable man I was before. If I told her how bummed I was and how pathetic I got, she would worry even more about me. If she missed me half as much as I did her, I didn't need to add any more problems to my sweet Bella's plate than necessary. So for all my efforts to protect her from my misery, it just made her feel that much worse. She didn't like being pushed away, but it was how I dealt with things. I wasn't trying to hurt her at all. I was trying to protect her. I wished she would understand that.
Now to the clusterfuck that happened today. I shook my head as the anger at Tanya bubbled up again. The audacity of that woman to just stroll into my trailer and say and do the things she did when I was on the phone with Bella. At the time, I was so confused over what Bella was shouting at me, but now it all made sense. Admittedly, it hurt that she really thought I would cheat on her, but the evidence painted me guilty, even if it was wrong.
If she would only answer the damn phone so I could explain!
I wasn't going to be able to concentrate at all today. I couldn't believe that nobody told me about the interview Tanya gave. Although that would explain the strange looks I had been getting from people the past few days, Marcus especially. He had the strangest expression on his face as he looked at me as we were wrapping up last night. He shook his head and walked away before I could ask him what was wrong. Why didn't he ask me about her interview? Did he think I would've jumped back into her arms? What kind of man does Marcus think I am? He knows how much I care about Bella. I needed to clear things up with Marcus and at least that I could do today. I would see him and Jane later today after we were done for the week.
I sighed. I really needed to talk to Alice. My sister was a great resource about all things female. I knew she would help steer me in the right direction, if it wasn't too late.
I tried calling Bella again. Her phone still went right to voicemail. This time the message I left outright begged her to call me back, telling her that it was all a misunderstanding, that I was sorry, and I loved her. I hoped she would check her voicemail. I thought about calling her at the bar, but if she wasn't answering her cell phone then she wasn't about to want to talk to me while she was at work. I sighed again and hoped that things would work out eventually.
I was torn out of my thoughts by a banging on my trailer door. One of the crew was calling me to the set in five minutes. Back to work. Let's hope I don't kill my co-star in the process. I took a calming breath so I could keep my head in the game. I knew my heart wasn't in it right now, not until I could straighten things out with Bella.
----
I waited somewhat patiently for Alice's plane to arrive in the baggage claim area. The flight was on time, so it would only be about another five minutes. The paparazzi were hovering, snapping the occasional picture of me as I waited. I tried to ignore them, although if I had really wanted to avoid them I should've come to the airport later or sent Jane to pick up Alice. I was too excited to see my sister, so I put up with the throng of photographers. It had been awhile since I had seen her. Alice was the opposite of me; she enjoyed the attention of the paparazzi when she was with me. She claimed that anytime she was photographed it boosted her business in Seattle. So for her sake, I would suffer the glare of the cameras for awhile.
While I waited, Marcus and I texted each other back and forth. We were making plans for after the Thanksgiving holiday to continue boosting my reformed image. Last night over dinner, I had straightened things out about my alleged relationship with that vile, evil woman, Tanya.
He seemed dubious at first. Years in Hollywood had jaded him. It really didn't surprise him that I could've been back with Tanya despite my dislike for her and my deep feelings for Bella. So many people in Hollywood were unfaithful to their partners and would hook up with the most unlikely of people. A lot of this behavior was driven by publicity but not always. I explained how the meeting at the coffee shop really went down, and ripped into that joke of a fabricated interview. I emphasized how much I regretted putting myself in that position at the coffee shop and how that fed into Tanya's claims during her interview. Marcus joked that I should sue for libel.
Jane remained quiet throughout the entire conversation. I didn't trust her. Something about her seemed off. Ever since I hired her, anytime Bella was the topic of conversation, she was strangely attentive and had an odd hint of a smile on her face. She always did as I asked and was impeccable in her work, so I had no real reason for complaint. For all intents and purposes she was very competent as an assistant. It was just that strange behavior went it dealt with Bella that gave me pause. I coughed it up to jealousy and tried not to focus on it.
Thankfully, Marcus believed me without too much further convincing. He was relieved that I wasn't like the other people in Hollywood, even if he wouldn't have been surprised if I had been. He asked about Bella and if she saw the interview and the photos. I nodded, feeling the bile rise in the back of my throat, and told him about the mislabeled set photos that further enforced Tanya's claim of a relationship with me. I described how that morning had gone and what Tanya had done to help ruin my relationship with Bella. Marcus shook his head in disbelief over this new revelation. Marcus didn't care for Tanya but didn't think she'd stoop to that level. Jane looked everywhere but at our table.
After some musing, he asked me the million dollar question.
"What are you going to do about Bella?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't really know, Marcus. I really don't."
"You better figure it out soon before you lose her!"
I couldn't help but respond with sarcasm. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. I'm working on it."
"Edward!"
I was snapped from my recollection by a soprano sing-song voice calling my name. It was like hearing a melody of wind-chimes. I looked around for a certain petite, black-haired pixie. The crowd of people entering baggage claim from the gate made it difficult to find her. I continued scanning the crowds until I got hit from behind by something soft and small. Startled, I whipped around but relaxed instantly when I recognized the tiny form of my baby sister.
"Hi, Alice," I laughed as I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame in a hug.
"Hi, Edward!" she sang happily. It was hard to be sad around her. Alice's bubbly, high-energy personality rubbed off on everyone she came into contact with.
As we hugged each other, I heard a few lens shutters flash and tried not to grimace. "How was the flight?" I asked politely as we walked out of the baggage claim area.
"Fine. The usual" she responded as she skipped happily along side me. She kept that up until we were outside of the main airport complex and in the bright California sun. "Ahh.... the sun!" She practically worshipped the sun when she came down to visit me. Seattle, or really anywhere in Washington, was not known for its sunny vistas.
I laughed at her antics. Sometimes I wondered how it was that she was twenty-four when she acted more like she was fourteen.
"Is it time to go shopping yet?" she asked eagerly, grinning from ear to ear.
"Alice, you just got here!" I protested.
"I know. Prime shopping time is wasting away! Where is your Volvo?" When I wasn't walking fast enough for her, she turned around to face me, pleading. "Let's go, Edward!" She practically dragged me into the interior of the short-term parking garage.
I shook my head while chuckling to myself and led her to my precious silver Volvo. As soon as I had the remote locks popped, Alice hopped right in. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for me to get in and start the car.
"Food first, Alice. I haven't had breakfast yet."
She groaned but didn't say anything else. A minute later, her stomach betrayed her by growling loudly as I was pulling out of the parking garage. "Guess I can't argue," she commented, her voice light with humor.
I smiled and headed to my favorite diner. It was a small, hole-in-the-wall kind of place that surprisingly allowed me some privacy. The paparazzi usually left me alone there and the staff was laid back too, which helped me keep some anonymity. Everyone at the diner seemed to recognize that the celebrities that came in were trying to escape. Of course, the only celebrities who usually came to this diner were the ones, like me, who were more publicity shy than most.
The best part was the food. It was phenomenal. I think they had some classically trained executive chef hiding in their kitchen. The food was way beyond standard diner fare. A person could still get a burger or country-fried steak, but a hungry patron could also get minted lamb chops or sous vide duck.
Alice wrinkled her nose as we pulled in. I couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry, Alice. The food is much better than how the place looks."
"If you say so," she replied dubiously.
"I do say so. I love this place. And you know how I am about food." My green eyes danced with mirth. I enjoyed teasing my sister.
She looked slightly mollified. "You are rather particular."
"See? Nothing to worry about. Have some faith in your big brother."
We entered the diner and grabbed a booth towards the back. Our hostess handed us menus and two glasses of ice water. I already knew what I wanted. Hell, I had the menu memorized a long time ago. Alice hemmed and hawed over a couple of items but finally decided after a few minutes.
Our waitress came over to get our orders. Some of the newer waitresses sometimes would get star struck when a celebrity walked in. It was pretty annoying. Nobody wanted to be fawned over while they were eating. The managers made sure to nip that in the bud right away before it became a problem.
"Hey, Velma, how are you doing?" I gave the waitress a friendly wave and shot her my most dazzling smile. She was one of my favorites. Velma was vivacious and full of life, and constantly surprised me with her energy at her age. She always had a story from back in the day when this actor or that actress came in. Velma especially enjoyed reminiscing on the stories over Kurt Douglas and how he would come to the diner and try to get her to run off with him. I could see the pull that those men may have had towards Velma. She was very charismatic and still carried a hint of the beauty of her youth. In a lot of ways, Velma reminded me of Esme. Perhaps this was another reason why I enjoyed coming here so much.
"Just fine, Edward, thank you for asking. However, if you don't quit trying to dazzle me like that, I may have to show you what this old lady can do to a young man such as yourself," she warned with a smirk. Her voice was gravely like someone who drank and smoked through much of their adult life. That was the good-natured ribbing that I enjoyed with Velma. Anytime she waited on me, I tried to dazzle her as best I could and she in turn would flirt with me unabashedly, telling me what she could teach me. I knew I could act this way with her and she wouldn't take it any way besides how it was intended, a joke between friends. Alice looked back and forth between us watching our interaction with interest, a twinkle in her eye.
"Velma, I'd like you to meet my sister, Alice. Alice, this is the best waitress in LA and probably the world, Velma." Velma swatted my arm at the compliment but smiled warmly.
Alice seemed to like Velma immediately and grinned broadly at her. "Pleased to meet you."
"Likewise," Velma said. "Do you live in this zoo of a city also, Alice?"
"No, I live in Seattle. I came down for the day to do some shopping and help my dear butthead brother out with some girl trouble."
My cheeks burned a little in embarrassment. Velma clucked her tongue appraising me. "Girl troubles, eh? Has she been in any good movies?"
"None," I replied. Velma's eyebrows raised a little. Most people expected celebrities to date celebrities. Thankfully, Alice already knew this much. But she was still watching me closely and I couldn't figure out why. I continued, "She's not an actress. She owns a bar."
Velma smiled, "Which one? I know most of the bars around here."
"She's not in LA or even California. She's from Ohio. Her bar is in this small town that she spent the later part of her childhood in."
Velma's lips shaped into a silent "O" in surprise. Alice was still gazing at me with one eyebrow raised.
"You are definitely making things hard on yourself, young man," Velma warned in earnest. I had the sense that she wanted to say more, but held back.
"Yeah, but Bella's worth it." I whispered.
Velma smiled again and patted my hand. "I've been monopolizing you too much this morning." She took out her order pad. "What would you like today?"
Alice and I ordered our breakfast and some coffee. I was a sucker for good Eggs Benedict, which by ordering it just reminded me of Bella again. I sighed. Alice looked at my quizzically. I merely smiled and said just one word, "Bella."
"So tell me about her," she prompted.
"Alice, Bella is everything to me. I can describe her to a point, but there is just so much more to her than what I can ever truly say. She's beautiful and kind, thoughtful and smart, klutzy but incredibly sexy. She helped me so much. She found me when I was lost. She grounded me when I was sinking. She made all this craziness tolerable again. And, she's inspired me to start composing again."
"Really?" Alice knew I had hit a creative dry-spell. It was a concern I had shared with her many times in the past year, that I hadn't been able to write a new song or do anything really creative musically for some time.
In the past three months, I hadn't told her everything about Bella, but she did know more than anyone else in my family. So I filled her in on the rest of the details. She listened intently as I reiterated how absolutely crazy I was about her and that she had helped me sober up. She looked horrified when I told her about the assault on Bella by one of her patrons, how great I thought her home was, and what I had done to help renovate it. Her eyebrows rose over Tooltimeward but she didn't interrupt. I was almost babbling to Alice, but I wanted to make sure that she knew there was more to this than just a crush. I felt drawn to Bella, a pull that had not lessened in the two months since I had seen her.
"Alice, Bella is very special to me. I feel connected to her, more connected than anyone I have ever met before. More so than I ever thought possible. I love her," I admitted quietly.
Alice clapped her hands together excitedly. She would've bowled me over in a hug if the table wasn't between us.
"So what's the problem? Can't tell her those three little words?" she asked eagerly.
I shook my head sadly. "I wish it was that easy. She knows I love her, at least she used to know."
Alice looked at me sympathetically as Velma brought our food. Velma sensed we were in the middle of an important discussion so she did not loiter at the table.
"What happened, Edward?" Alice asked quietly, digging into her French toast.
"Tanya," I replied. Alice hissed. She never liked Tanya. She had only met Tanya a couple of times when we dated. Alice disliked Tanya from the first moment she laid eyes on her. She was always polite to Tanya but definitely let me know how she felt when Tanya was not around. "Well, to be honest, Tanya wasn't completely at fault," I continued. "I am at fault for some of this mess, too."
"So why not call her and apologize?"
"She won't answer her phone or respond to any of my text messages."
"What did you do, Edward? When did this all start?" Concern was in her voice as she took my hand in hers.
"I'd like to say yesterday, but honestly there is more to it than just one day." I took a big bite of my Eggs Benedict, taking comfort in the warm, eggy goodness.
"Go on," Alice prompted gently.
I explained the whole horrid story to my sister. Not just the meeting with Tanya for coffee and her interview, but everything that had been going on in the month when things started to become strained between Bella and me. I gave her more details about how depressed I became when I left Ohio and how I hid that depression from Bella so she wouldn't worry and to protect her. How our conversations had become strained because I was pushing her away, which just made my depression worse. How I felt her slipping away. I finished with my most fatal flaw, that I never told Bella about the prior relationship, however disastrous in the end, I had with Tanya.
Alice shook her head in sorrow. "Oh, Edward, how could you be so foolish? You are constantly in the public eye and your relationship with Tanya was well publicized. Even without that mess with the photos or the interview, how could you let her find out that way? How do you think she felt to find out about that, about that part of your history, on the Internet?"
I hung my head with shame. "Like crap. And I'm sure she thought that if I didn't tell her about Tanya, what else could I be hiding?"
"Exactly. Despite your celebrity status, there is still a lot about you that is private that she won't know about until you choose to tell her. However, you have to be up front with her about the things she can find online. You should have been the one to tell her, to give her the story first and foremost from the most reliable source."
I sighed. "I'd love to come clean with her if she ever talks to me again."
Alice looked off in the distance. She ate her breakfast in comfortable silence as she thought. Suddenly she broke into a huge smile. "You need some kind of gesture that shows you are sorry and that Tanya was lying."
"How?" I asked helplessly. "I already know I need to talk to her but she won't answer her damn phone!" We had gone over this already. I didn't understand where she was going with this.
"Do your own interview. Set the record straight."
She made it sound so simple. I hated doing interviews. I did as few as I could get away with doing. Most importantly, there was no way to ensure that Bella actually saw this interview that Alice proposed.
"It takes time to set those up, Alice. And, Bella still has to watch the interview for this plan of yours to work."
She looked at me like I was slow in the head. "I'm sure you could persuade one of those entertainment companies to do a last minute interview with the notoriously publicity-shy Edward Cullen. They are always asking you to do them. Maybe you could use the same company that Tanya used."
"Okay, but that still doesn't mean Bella will watch it."
She smiled slyly. "Leave that part to me."
"Alice...." I warned. Sometimes her plans ended up blowing up in her face, and anyone else who she roped into helping her.
She giggled. "I've always wanted to visit Ohio."
I rolled my eyes and tried to keep the hope from building up in my heart. I quickly ate another bite of my breakfast before pushing the plate away, stuffed.
"Fine, I'll check with Jane and see what she can set up. She has contacts everywhere in this damn city."
A/N Ooo what does Alice have planned?
Come join us in the thread for BFTO: www (dot) twilighted (dot) net/forum/viewtopic (dot) php?f=44&t=9524