A/N: Hello guys! Remember me? Sorry for disappearing like that but I just started a new job and being quite busy. I also wanted to be far ahead in my fics before posting new chapters. So yeah, here is a new chapter! A new one will be posted sometimes next week. Thanks for reading!

Brittany deeply sighed as she sat in the choir room with Quinn. She looked over her left and spotted her ex-girlfriend sitting alone, far away from the rest of them. She watched the latina's slumped shoulders and tired face and sighed again. Since the news of Santana's baby broke out, the Glee club, to the exception of Noah, progressively sided with Brittany. This wasn't out of cruelty but Brittany had always been closer to them than Santana was. The blonde had been miserable for two weeks and refused to go to school. All she wanted to do was cry and Santana to make it right again. If at first she was mad at Santana for everything that happened, she soon realized that she still wanted to be with the latina. She missed Santana so much and seeing her unhappy and miserable broke the taller girl's heart. She missed being touched by Santana and loved by her, being caressed by her soft hands and driven to ecstasy by the latina. She shivered as some thoughts ran through her mind and sighed. When she looked over again at her ex, she locked eyes with a pair of sad brown eyes. Santana looked like a puppy which had been kicked to the curb and was shivering outside in the cold. Brittany wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But she knew that wasn't true. They were so young and this situation was so much bigger than them. She remembered their pregnancy scare and now wished she was the one pregnant with Santana's baby, the one to carry a part of the latina in her. She sobbed at the thought, bringing Quinn's attention back to her. The head cheerio squeezed Brittany's hand knowingly.

"I know it's hard but you'll eventually have to move on" The taller blonde shook her head

"I miss her Quinn" she whispered to her friend

"She cheated on you Britt. Not only that but she's…" Quinn took a long breath "She's having a baby with her one night stand. "

"I know all that. I still miss being with Santana"

"Are you going to play pretend and ignore all this? This girl will always be a part of Santana's life. She has a connection with Santana now. Do you really want to live like that? To share Santana with this woman and their baby?" Quinn didn't want to hurt Brittany but as a friend, she had to tell the taller blonde the truth.

Brittany whimpered at her friend's word and remained silent for a moment.

"You know Quinn… A part of me will never forgive Santana and what she had done… But I know my heart isn't ready to let go. It probably never will and it hurts. It hurts because I know she loves me. I can see it in her eyes…" Brittany's eyes watered as she looked again at her ex who was watching the two girls with her remorseful eyes. Brittany looked back at Quinn

"I just want her back in my life… Even if it's just as friends, even if it hurts Quinn" the other blond was also now on the verge of tears. She looked away from Brittany and just nodded. This was all so fucked up she thought.

Brittany laid on her bed facing her pillow. She didn't get much rest these past few weeks. All she could do was think about her ex and wish they could sleep in each other's arms again. She suddenly heard a soft knock. She looked up and frowned: was it Mr snuggles playing tricks on her again? But then she remembered that the poor cat was at the veterinary. She then shrugged and was about to fall back into her pillow when she heard the knock again but this time more insistent. Brittany started to be afraid. The only one who came up to her window was Santana but at the time, she would let it open for the latina. She sadly figured it couldn't be Santana since they were not together anymore. She took her deodorant and walked up to her window. She counted to three like in the movie and abruptly opened it. A mixture of shock and excitement took over her as her visitor was revealed. There was Santana, a sad smile graced her lips and her eyes were imploring. The latina mouthed a little "hey" to Brittany and the blonde exhaled and mimicked her. A minute passed with them just staring at each other, before Santana motioned Brittany to open her window. The blonde who was so awestruck by the brunette's presence, slapped herself mentally and opened the window.

"Oh sorry!" she said apologetically to the latina as soon as the window cracked open.

"No. It's ok, I would totally understand if you just told me to go away" Brittany frowned at Santana's words but stayed silent. They both just stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do next. It was Brittany who broke the silence.

"Why are you here?" It came out sharper than she intended and could see it in the way Santana winced and her shoulders slumped. Was Quinn wrong? The head cheerio approached (menacingly) the brunette earlier in the day and told her that Brittany missed her and she wanted to see her. It was a first in almost two months that Santana felt relief and a little happiness. Brittany missed her and it was enough to bring hope back in her heart. They could try and work it all out. Brittany's tone now though, told another story. She felt stupid for believing Quinn but decided to try nonetheless. She had all and nothing to lose at that point.

"I just wanted to see you" the latina whispered as she looked down. Brittany relaxed and felt relief flood over her. She stepped away from her window, giving enough space to the other girl so she could penetrate the room.

"I didn't mean to be harsh…" she looked at Santana who still wasn't looking at her "Hey come in!" Santana looked up at the other girl, confused and hesitant

"are you sure?" the latina asked her ex cautiously. The taller girl just nodded and walked toward her bed and sat down on it. Santana stood still on the ladders a few more seconds before entering cautiously in the room. She stood there and shifted uncomfortably. It had been two months since she was last in this room. She sighed at the sight of the familiar interior.

"Come here…" Brittany patted down the spot next to her on the bed. Santana looked hesitant for a second but then walked over and sat down next the taller girl. Brittany shifted closer so that their knees were touching. Santana flinched but didn't back away or say anything. They stayed silent again , getting used again to each other's presence, before Brittany spoke up again.

"I wanted to see you again… I miss you San" she said looking at chestnut-brown eyes in front of her. Santana gave her a weak smile and nodded silently. She didn't want to fuck the moment up again, so she kept quiet. The blonde continued

"You were so sad and alone all this time. It hurt me so much to see you in pain. It hurt much more than…" she trailed off and Santana whimpered at the implication. Brittany opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something but closed it again and remained silent. The latina finally spoke up.

"I miss you too Brittany. I know I just keep messing everything up and hurt you. I know I'm no good to you. You deserve better but I'm so miserable and worthless without you. I wish… I wish I hadn't done all these things. I wish we could get back together and work it all out…" Santana said the last part in a whisper. She didn't want to upset the girl next to her.

"How are they?" was all Brittany said. Santana sighed disappointed but answered

"Fine. I just see her at school anyway. She didn't tell her parents who I was and refused to tell them whose the baby was… It sucks because I want to be a part of that kid's life. It's mine after all. I can't even go to ultrasound with her…" Santana bit her tongue as she felt Brittany tenses at her words. Why the hell did she rant all that to her? The latina wanted to throw herself off a cliff at this point. Brittany felt the bitterness growing inside her heart again. She was supposed to be the one living those moments with Santana, the one to be with her. She pushed those feelings aside and looked up at the latina sadly.

"I can't be with you Santana. My heart can't bear it to share you with another woman"

"But you're not sharing anything Brittany… I love you" Santana whimpered desperately

"They are going to be a big part of your life Santana. I don't think I can bear that situation in the long run. It's too much, it will be too much." She heard Santana sob and paused.

"But I also know that I won't be able to let you go San. I need you in my life as selfish as it is. I can't help it." Pause "I don't know if we could ever work this out but can we be friends again… Please?" she looked up hopeful at the latina. Santana couldn't deny anything to those pleading eyes. Also, this was better than anything, it was a start. She nodded at Brittany's request and let the tears in her eyes spill.

"Oh San don't cry…" Brittany said as she cupped the latina's cheek and shifted even closer. Santana looked at Brittany and the closeness of their faces made her shudder. Brittany was equally startled by it. Something else started to form in the pit of her stomach. It's been two months since she has been this close to the latina and even longer she had sex. The longest they had gone without doing it was two weeks and those were really painful weeks. The blonde tried to touch herself but never got satisfied by it. Her fingers could never feel like the softness of her ex fingers or the hardness and the heat she felt between her thighs everytime her lover took her. The memory surged the heat on Brittany's skin and she leant forward and kissed roughly the latina. She felt Santana tense, her eyes wide, surprised by the sudden gesture. But soon enough Santana was kissing her back and deepened the kiss, letting her hands roam all over the familiar body. Brittany, in that moment, forgot all about her previous words as arousal guided their bodies. She pressed her body tight against the brunette's, pressing their breasts together. Santana moaned at the contact and Brittany felt the brunette's erection brush her thigh. This time it was the blonde who moaned. She reached down and grabbed her friend's throbbing member through her sweatpants, squeezing it intently. Santana gasped and bit down on Brittany's neck. The latina slid her hands under the taller girl's shirt and fondled the blonde's braless breasts. She pushed Brittany until the blonde's back hit the mattress. Brittany was sure her panties were ruined at this point but she didn't care. She needed Santana inside her. She needed the latina's heat and love. Brittany pulled Santana's sweatpants along with her panties to release her member.

"You're so hard San" she moaned as she grabbed her friend again, slowly jerking her off. Santana groaned as she pushed Brittany's panties aside and felt the wetness coming from her core.

"Fuck Britt! You're so wet… I missed you so much" At those words, Brittany froze. It brought her back to their situation and what she said earlier. She winced at her thoughts and let go of the latina's throbbing member. Santana whimpered at the loss and shot Brittany a puzzled look when the blonde pushed her off of her and sat up. She pulled down her shirt and skirt and smiled weakly at her ex.

"We can't do this San… I told you I'm not ready to get back together. I don't want to lead you on" she looked at the brunette who sighed sadly. Brittany was right though. Sex between them was never meaningless and she didn't want it to be. Two minutes passed in complete silence before Santana got up and walked awkwardly toward the window.

"Hey where are you going?" Brittany asked the latina before she could reach the window

"I'm going home. I won't bother you anymore" the brunette said sadly. Brittany reached for her hand and grabbed it.

"Please San stay with me tonight. I… want you to stay with me, please?" Santana bit her lower lip and looked at their clasped hands.

"I can't Britt"

"Why?" Santana looked down embarrassingly at the still visible tent of her sweatpants. Her body hasn't calmed down from the previous events and staying with Brittany would not help matters. Santana needed release or else… blue balling. Brittany slightly blushed when her eyes landed on Santana's erection.

"I can't just go to bed and cuddle with you like this…" Brittany considered their options and only came up with nothing. She couldn't sleep with Santana or touch her in a sexual way. It would just lead the latina on. She looked at Santana disappointed and sighed.

"It's ok San, I understand. I guess I'll see you tomorrow" Brittany said in a small voice. Santana stood there, worrying at her lips. She couldn't stand seeing her girl sad and be the reason the blonde was… again.

"I can stay… I just need to take care of this… you know" she said as she looked down again embarrassingly. This was way too awkward but Brittany was now beaming at the latina .

"YAY! I'll go get you some Pjs! I'll be right back"

"Oh take your time… I'll just be in the bathroom" at that, the brunette quickly made her to the bathroom and closed it behind her. Brittany smiled fondly at the bathroom door and ran looking for PJs. In the situation they were in, it's not like the latina could sleep in her underwear, rubbing against her… Brittany slapped herself mentally and resumed her quest.

Santana stood awkwardly in the bathroom looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Stupid" she said as she gripped the sink's sides. Even her obvious embarrassment and the disappointment of not getting back with Brittany couldn't make her erection go away.

"Are you going to calm down eventually? You're not getting any anytime soon." She told dejectedly to her still very hard member. She sighed. Sometimes she wondered if it has a mind of its own… Well there was only one solution then. She snatched her phone from her sweatpants' pocket and rummage in it. She finally reached her phone. A file full of… Ahem… suggestive pictures of Brittany. Santana blushed a little at the fact that the girl was on the other side of the door. Her cheeks burned as she started lowering her hand and pushed it past the waistband.

Brittany came back in the room with the PJs in hands, when she heard Santana moan her name. At first she couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what was going on. The moan became more frequent and it hit Brittany what the latina was doing. She smiled as she turned a slight tinge of pink

"Oh my god…" the blonde whispered

Santana came back in the room after getting cleaned up.

"Hey!" The latina whispered as she stood shyly next to her friend's bed.

"Hey… Come here" the blonde said as she pushed the covers aside and let the latina slid in next to her. Brittany moved closer to her ex. She desperately wanted to be feel Santana in her arms again. Only that tender touch could gave a the rest she needed and craved for months now.

"Can I hold you?" Santana asked shyly, her voice low in the darkness of the room. Brittany smiled as Santana voiced her own very silent wish. She slid closer to the latina and wrapped her slender arms around her waist, resting her nose in brunette curls. They both sighed happily in unison, content of the so familiar feeling. They were still Brittany and Santana despite the storm they were caught in. There was still that "made for each other" aura surrounding them and hope rose in Brittany's heart. She smiled in her true love's hair and drifted to sleep with her dreams filled with images of Santana and her.

She couldn't help the glare she sent at the girl in front of her. After all she was the reason why Santana and she had broken up. Brittany knew that Shirley didn't get pregnant on purpose. It was an accident, it happened but here she was, crossed arms and eyes narrowed at the redhead girl. Shirley was squirming uncomfortably in her seat, never shifting her gaze from the table.

"Um… Why are we here? We're kinda missing classes at the moment" Sure Santana was having a baby with that girl and Brittany had to accept that fact, but that didn't mean she wanted to be Shirley's friend. As she looked at her the redhead's bump, a pang of sadness washed over her and the blonde sighed heavily.

"You know…" Brittany started "I know it's not entirely your fault but I can't help blaming you for breaking Santana and I up. I won't intervene in any of this but you have to know that we can't be friends. And I would like you…"

"James and I are getting back together" Shirley blurted, leaving Brittany to stare at her blankly.

"Okay….?" Shirley worried at her lower lip before speaking up

"I care about Santana" Brittany shifted uncomfortably in her chair "I really do Brittany. She has been nothing but sweet and caring since…" She trailed off, catching Brittany biting her lips nervously. She looked away, looking for the right words. It was going to hurt but she already hurt people and no amount of apologies would make it better.

"Santana loves you and she's miserable without you… I'm the reason why you are both hurting. This is so wrong, this shouldn't have happened. We were both vulnerable but I took advantage of it. Believe me if I could make it better"

"It should have been me" Brittany interrupted, eyes glistening with tears. "I should have been the one pregnant. I should have been the one crying to sleep about my future, having those body transformations, having this baby growing inside of me… You took that away from me. You took her away from me" Brittany choked the last words as she stood up to leave

"No, she's still yours Brittany. She's still all yours. It's not…"

"How can she be mine when you're having her baby? She has a part of her growing inside you… Why did it have to be you?" The blonde clenched at her backpack, her knuckles turning white. "Just leave m…"

"It's not Santana's, Brittany" the girl almost shouted to stop the taller girl's rant. Silence fell, in the room as Brittany abruptly stopped, blinking fast as she processed what she just heard.

"What?"

Shirley's eyes also watered as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath

"The baby… It's not Santana's"