A/N: Andddd here's another update! Aren't you guys lucky? ;) Enjoy everyone, and keep reviewing!

November 1917

Several months had passed since he had shared that conversation with Sybil, and he and Lavinia were no closer to marrying. There was word going round that the war was nearing its long awaited end, but yet the more the rumours circulated, the more and more it became very unlikely. Matthew had been sent down to work in the offices in London with Lord Grantham once he had recovered significantly from his injuries but even now, he still struggled with his leg. At times, the pain would become most unbearable and he now walked with a slight limp, the army medics and his mother deeming him no longer fit for active duty. In many ways, Matthew was hugely relieved that he would not be returning to that hell-hole – he did not miss the mud, the violence, the suffering at all. But in some ways, Matthew felt he was a coward that it was his duty as a Captain to be there on the front line fighting for his country – only his blasted leg would prevent him from doing so. After a time, the dull pain in his leg which constantly stayed with him had become a part of him, he had become used to it and the limp that now accompanied it. Nurses and doctors had even suggested at one point that he use the wheelchair but he had flatly refused, determined to prove them wrong. As well as his leg, he also still had the scar on his right temple, a jagged line running the length of it; he hated it. He thought it was ugly but it also reminded him more of the war, the moment it had happened in the muddy field of no-man's land every time he looked in the damn mirror.

He stood waiting in the hall of Downton Abbey, back on a week-end visit to the family and bringing Lavinia with him as he often did. He had slowly but surely built up a good friendship with Lady Mary once more and they had begun to go back to their old ways of teasing and challenging one another but also respecting each other in a different light. Mary respected the fact that he was no longer waiting around for her and he liked that – until recently. Somehow, even now, he still would feel a connection every time he had spoken with her, the same joy every time they had teased one another just like they had used to. She often accompanied him on walks around the Abbey whenever he returned from London, and he soon found he could not wait to just be in her company once more. And with that, he realised as he sat in his office in London, working late on a new strategy that he had unintentionally fallen back in love with Lady Mary. He had smiled at the revelation, at the fact he had probably never stopped loving her but recoiled in horror – how could he do this to Lavinia? Lavinia was the only person he was meant to love, so surely this feelings were pure nonsense? He had tried to push them out of his mind, focusing all his attention on Lavinia, even ignoring Mary's letters a couple of times until he found he could no more. As he stood waiting for Lavinia to finish speaking with his mother, he nervously drew his breath – he would have to tell Lavinia. She didn't deserve it.

"Ah there you are darling!" A sweet voice echoed from down the hall as Matthew turned round to see a smiling Lavinia waltzing down the corridor towards him. Matthew nervously smiled back, twisting his hat even more in his hands – he did care for Lavinia deeply, he loved her but he could not do this anymore, she deserved better.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked simply, as she hooked her hand around his arm as he lead the way out of the Abbey and into the grounds.

"Now I've been speaking to your mother about a number of things, like how…" Lavinia begun to carry on speaking as Matthew's thoughts soon drifted away as they walked further and further away from the house, nearing the bench where he and Mary had shared so many conversations, so many thoughts together.

"See we need to organise what to once your finished in London…"

"Lavinia…" Matthew began to interrupt, walking slowly that his limp would allow him.

"-And we need to also arrange the wedding…"

"Lavinia stop!" Matthew found himself raising his voice, a little harsher than he had intended and he immediately regretted it as he spun round, stopping both of them in their tracks and Lavinia's words ebbed away. He suddenly realised that he was breathing heavily than he should, and he began to slow his breathing down slowly, shutting his eyes briefly before opening them to find a shocked Lavinia.

"I'm sorry, I just.." He sighed heavily, turning away slightly, "I just need to talk to you about something Lavinia."

Lavinia nodded, before placing a gentle hand on his arm. Matthew felt a slight swoop in his stomach, the feeling he had always got with Lavinia but this time it was different, not as powerful. He looked up, placing a sympathetic smile on his face as he gently took Lavinia's small hand.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry Lavinia, but you deserve a lot better," He breathed shakily, as Lavinia slowly took in what he had said, dropping the hand on his arm. She blinked, looking away to the ground before shakily replying.

"What do you mean? What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" Her voice shook with emotion, and Matthew immediately felt immensely guilty as he turned to not face her gaze.

"I cannot marry you. I'm sorry, really I am. I care for you very deeply but you deserve someone more honourable," Lavinia stared at him in shock, as tears began to seep from her eyes, rolling silently down her cheeks. Matthew reached out a hand but she shook it off, turning her back to him. Swallowing, Matthew continued.

"You deserve someone who will have all of your heart Lavinia, someone who much more honourable than I am."

He could see Lavinia's shoulders shaking gently as she slowly turned round to face him, cheeks tear stained.

"Your still in love with her aren't you?" The question hung in the air and Matthew could only let it fall into silence – he had no answer. He could not deny it, yet he did not wish to admit it out loud for the sake of Lavinia's feelings. The silence was enough to satisfy Lavinia, as if the silence only was the answer. He did not need to say – it was as if she already knew.

"I've known all along Matthew, I know it's always been her," She said shakily, as Matthew looked up, meeting her eyes intensely as he tried to protest.

"Lavinia-"

"Matthew, it's ok," She smiled weakly, as she moved forward to place a hand on his cheek, gently caressing it. Matthew moved to place his hand over his, slowly bringing it down to hold it and stroke it.

"I'm sorry Lavinia, I really do care for you very much. I just…"He trailed off, gazing down at the ground not wanting to meet Lavinia's eyes who slowly nodded and dropped her hand from Matthew's grip. Pulling on her ring finger, she gently eased off the ring he had given her, and slowly placed it in his hand – Matthew could tell how much this was hurting her and he felt such a prig, such a horrid man. She reached up, pressing her lips gently to Matthew's cheek gazing at him one last time, tears falling down her cheeks rapidly.

"Goodbye Matthew." With a final squeeze of his hand, she turned her back to him and slowly walked away from him, not turning back once. As Matthew watched her leave for the final time, a part of him wanted to run after her and tell her sorry and that he was a fool. But his heart was telling him different – it is time to move on and it was time to fix the past. Lavinia was not a mistake; she merely helped him understand the true feelings of his heart, and he was determined to make it right this time.