"Where have you been, partner? Tell me the tales of your adventures."
Bakura pushed Mahes away from him. Mahes looked at him in confusion. It had been quite a while since Bakura had shoved him away. Something had obviously happened, but Mahes couldn't figure out what it was.
Bakura had been robbing somewhat larger tombs- the tombs of slightly more important people- for a little while now. Mahes had accepted it grudgingly at first, but he'd become more used to it over time, and Bakura hadn't gotten himself into any real trouble- yet. Now Mahes wondered what the matter was. Especially since Bakura hadn't been out on any kind of tomb-robbing expedition that day, at least as far as Mahes knew. Bakura had said that he was simply going into town. And he did not seem to be hurt.
Mahes cocked his head, looking at Bakura. "Is something wrong?"
"Nope," said Bakura.
Mahes continued to look at him questioningly.
Bakura threw down his pack and walked across the hideout. "Killed a bunch of guys today," he said casually.
Mahes's head snapped around. "What?"
"I killed a bunch of guys today," Bakura repeated patiently.
Mahes's eyes went wide. Was Bakura kidding? But Bakura really was not the type to make jokes.
For several moments, Mahes was too flustered to speak. Finally, he managed to cry, "May I ask why?" He was obviously distressed.
"Had to do it," said Bakura, shrugging, and still sounding totally nonchalant.
Mahes pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Why did you have to do it?" he asked, trying to hold himself together.
"While I was in town, a whole group of men surrounded me- a lot of them- and they intended to rob me, beat me...probably kill me. So I had to kill them first."
Bakura still sounded totally calm and collected, and it made Mahes want to kick something...possibly Bakura himself. But he made no move. Instead, he only waited to see if Bakura had more to say on the subject.
"Self defense," Bakura finished smugly. And that was all. Bakura went to sit down on their bed.
"How can you come home and tell me you killed people and act like it's normal?" Mahes screamed, finally losing his cool entirely.
"Mahes, I've tried to explain to you," said Bakura, using a tone that made it seem as if he were explaining something to a young and particularly irrational child, "the life of a thief-"
"Oh, fuck that!" yelled Mahes, having become completely unraveled at this point. "Stealing to survive is totally different than randomly killing-"
"I told you, it wasn't random!" flared Bakura. He was finally showing some emotion, and this in itself calmed Mahes slightly.
"Did you listen to anything I said at all?" continued Bakura, his anger evident. "I was surrounded, greatly outnumbered, and they probably would have killed me if I hadn't retaliated. Is that what you'd like? Is it? For me to be killed, and never come home?"
Mahes sighed. "Of course not," he said weakly. The strength seemed to have gone out of his limbs, and he sat down heavily on the floor. "But was there no other way to defend yourself? No other way besides killing so many?"
"How do you think I did it?" asked Bakura, his eyes hard.
Mahes looked up. "Diabound," he realized.
"Yes," confirmed Bakura.
Mahes stared at him so plaintively that Bakura was finally compelled to explain himself.
"Look, Mahes, I don't- I don't have full control of my ka yet. As you know, it's not just my own. That means it's not so easy to keep hold of it. Maybe when I'm older, when I'm more experienced with using it- but right now, when I'm threatened, and I get really angry, or- or-"
Bakura paused, as if searching for the right word. Mahes thought he knew the word that Bakura really wanted. Frightened. But he also knew that Bakura would never admit to being afraid.
"Or really upset," Bakura finally continued, "I automatically lash out with my ka. It's my only real defense, so of course it's automatic- instinctual. If I'm in mortal danger, of course I'm going to let it loose. And then- well, as I said, I don't really have control over what it does."
"I see," said Mahes stiffly.
Bakura glared at Mahes, plainly seeing his disapproval.
"You have no idea," said Bakura vehemently, baring his teeth. "No idea what it's like for a group of men to come and attack you when you're totally helpless and you know they're there to kill you for no good reason but there's nothing you can do and-"
"But you're not helpless," Mahes said, and then he winced as he suddenly realized that Bakura was talking about something else entirely- not what he'd been through that very day, but what had happened so many years ago.
A look passed between them, and Bakura knew that Mahes knew, without either having to speak.
"As far as those men today knew, I was helpless," Bakura said, seeming a bit calmer now. "Like I said, they surrounded me- so many of them against just me, and I had no obvious weapons and no obvious way to defend myself against all of them. They would have killed me- someone who had never done anything to them- and I wasn't going to let it happen. That's all."
"Alright," Mahes said finally.
Mahes got up and walked over to Bakura, sitting down next to him and putting an arm around him. Bakura allowed it.
"Sorry," Mahes choked out.
Bakura leaned into his touch. For moments, they only sat there. Then Bakura broke the silence.
"Just know this, Mahes- I will kill when it is necessary. If I have to, I will kill to defend myself. But I won't kill innocents without reason. That would make me no better than- than-" he broke off there, but Mahes knew what he meant without him having to say.
Mahes pulled him closer. "And would you kill to defend me?" he asked quietly.
"I'd die," said Bakura unexpectedly, so suddenly that it was obvious that he was thinking aloud, having been caught off-guard and unable to filter his thoughts before they came tumbling out of his mouth.
Mahes leaned in, bringing his face closer to Bakura's. But Bakura pushed him away for the second time that day.
"Don't try to turn this conversation into- whatever it is that you're always trying to turn these conversations into. Do you think kissing me will solve things? You're a year older than me, yet you're still a child compared to me. There are things you need to understand. Things that won't disappear just because you're touching me and- and-" Bakura stopped speaking for a moment, obviously not wanting to name the things that Mahes did to him. But he shook his head to clear it and then quickly got back to the point. "I killed many today, and I will almost surely kill more in the future. I'll kill if I have to do it to complete my quest, and I will probably have to do so. This is not a life I chose- it was thrust upon me, but I accept it. And if you can't, then-"
"You'd never killed anyone before today, had you?" asked Mahes solemnly.
"No," said Bakura flatly, his eyes suddenly seeming far away.
"It's alright," said Mahes. He put his arm around Bakura again, but tentatively. "I understand. You did nothing to them, they attacked you, and you had to defend yourself. There was nothing else you could have done. Don't feel bad about it."
"I don't," said Bakura, and the lie in his voice was evident even to himself.
But Mahes chose not to call him on it. "Good, because it wasn't your fault. You did what you had to."
Mahes sighed in sorrow, even as he cuddled a little closer to Bakura. He didn't like any of this. He didn't like that Bakura had killed, and he liked it even less that he was almost sure to kill again. There were things- things he'd never, ever suspected during his childhood in the palace. Good and evil, right and wrong- they were supposed to be obvious. Morality was black and white, and there was no confusion. That's what he had been taught. Protecting the palace and its people? That was good. The outsiders who tried to attack the palace? They were bad. Killing was bad, stealing was bad, breaking the law was bad. Yet it wasn't like that. There were so many shades of gray in between the black and white. And he never would have known. Except that then he'd found this boy- the boy who was no longer a boy, but now almost a man- who had gray hair and gray eyes himself. And that boy had come along and shown him the truth of the world, had shown him all the shades of gray hidden in between the black-and-white morals he'd grown up with.
But even with shades of gray, there was black. Without a doubt, there was black. Black was what had been perpetrated against Bakura's village for the purpose of creating the Millennium items. Was Bakura's vengeance quest entirely white? Maybe not, but Mahes no longer cared. Bakura deserved his revenge, because his people's souls deserved to be freed. And that was enough for Mahes.
And so, in a way, Mahes still clung stubbornly to his notions of a black and white morality- the murder of Bakura's village was evil, and that meant that any actions taken to correct it- as long as it didn't involve the slaughter of innocents for no reason- was good. And in that moment, Mahes decided this firmly and set it in his mind- though maybe he'd already decided this years ago, the moment he'd chosen to abandon his life at the palace and become Bakura's partner.
"I accept it," said Mahes quietly.
"What?" asked Bakura.
"I accept the life that was, as you said, thrust upon you," Mahes told him. "Your vengeance quest is just, and I will support it, as I have from the beginning."
Mahes paused momentarily, as something occurred to him. "I ask only one thing."
"And what is that?" asked Bakura warily.
"My sister," said Mahes softly.
And Bakura was taken aback, for he had almost forgotten that Mahes's sister was herself a member of the Pharaoh's inner court.
"Just promise you won't hurt my sister," Mahes continued. "I'm positive she had no knowledge of how the Millennium items were created, because she never would have approved if she had. She holds the Millennium Tauk, but she doesn't know...she's a good person. An innocent."
To Mahes's relief, Bakura nodded sagely. "If you say she's an innocent, then I believe you."
And Mahes smiled at Bakura's trust in his word.
But then Bakura continued. "I don't think I can promise that I won't harm her in any way. If she stands in the way of my collecting the Millennium items- if she fights- then I may have to fight against her. But I will promise that I will not let her die. I will not be the cause of her death."
Mahes felt an immense pain in his heart at the idea of Bakura and his sister fighting each other. He didn't want either of them to hurt the other. Yet he realized the enormity of Bakura's promise- that even if Isis stood in the way of his getting the Millennium items, he would not kill her under any circumstances. And Mahes was grateful for that. Yet he should have expected it- Bakura knew what it was like to lose family members, and he wouldn't want to inflict that on Mahes. Especially not when he knew that Mahes's sister had done no wrong. But then Mahes thought of something else.
"Bakura- you said yourself that you can't control Diabound yet. If you attack with Diabound- and you would have to, in order to infiltrate the palace- how can you be sure who will be killed and who will merely be hurt?"
"You underestimate me again," said Bakura. "There's a reason I didn't rush off to attack the palace the moment I found out what they'd done. I'm not ready yet, and I'm wise enough to know it...I've spent years getting ready, but I'm still not quite there yet. By the time I'm ready, I will have had more experience with my ka, and I will be able to control it."
"So...you won't go to the palace and try to get the Millennium items until you're sure you're in perfect control of your ka?"
"Of course not," Bakura scoffed. "Even if it weren't for the issue of your sister, I wouldn't. This isn't something I'm willing to mess up. By the time I'm ready, I will be the greatest thief, and my ka will be my most powerful and reliable ally."
"And how will you accomplish that?" asked Mahes.
"I think you already know," said Bakura. "By continuing to rob larger and larger tombs. Obviously, Diabound will be needed for some of the more difficult jobs. As I learn to become a better thief, I'll learn how best to use Diabound as well."
Mahes quailed at this. "I still don't like the idea of you putting yourself in danger, robbing the tombs of the most important people that are the most heavily guarded, the ones that are most likely to get you captured or killed..."
"After my experience today, I'm far less worried about getting myself killed," stated Bakura. "Anyways, we've discussed this- I've told you that I'll need to work my way up to robbing the biggest tombs of the most high ranking people. And now, I'm sure that I'm ready to move on to robbing the tombs of people considered most important by the palace. My thefts will be harder from here on out, but I have no doubt that I can pull them off."
"I hate it," said Mahes, unable to censor his thoughts at that moment.
A look of defiance appeared on Bakura's face, and Mahes saw it clearly. So before Bakura could say anything, Mahes spoke again.
"Even if I don't like it, I understand why you have to do it...and we've discussed enough for today," he said.
Mahes's eyes met Bakura's, and he reached out to touch his face.
"So," Mahes continued, "even if it won't solve anything...let me hold you for now?"
And Bakura did.