I just wanted to say that I'm trying my best to find my muse and type up chapters quickly and I'm trying to read two books in three weeks, mathematics and type 4000+ words a day. It seems easy but isn't due to my sleeping hours. So I hope that you all enjoy this chapter.

Day 4

I've run each and every type of memory that Kendall and I share. I remember punching him and busting his lip when he first went out with a guy, and I never meant it. I remember exactly what he said the first time he made love to me. I remember when he wore his first sexual innuendo shirt around his mom, she flipped. In big bold letters was 'I'm Hard' and then under it, in really small parenthesis 'to resist'. That was one of the funniest days I've ever had; and ever since, it's been funny to see him wear those. As I recall correctly, the last one she freaked about said 'the man' pointing to his face 'the legend' pointing below his belt. We both got grounded for that one, but the only reason we bought it was because we wanted to see her reaction. I miss times like those, especially now. Or when we went on our first date, and Kendall almost tackled the waiter because he was being a homophobe. Kendall was always possessive of me, always; he always held me close to him when other guys came towards me. I always thought it was sexy when he was jealous, and his beautiful green eyes would cloud with envy; and I'd always reassure him that I wanted no one but him. I missed those perfect green eyes that stormed with passion every time he looked at me; I laughed. What I loved most about him, is that no matter how childish or stupid or just plain idiotic that my request is; he'd do it. Like the time I was sick, and started watching Ni Hao, Kai-Lan because the television remote was lost due to Lolo. He laughed when I said it, but he still let me watch it. I'm going to sit here, and think about that day, I loved that day

J.D.

I closed the notebook and tucked it away under the pillow. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, laughing as I recalled what happened. That day, was one of our best days ever.

I absolutely hated my allergies, abso-fucking-lutely hate them. I picked up a cold, eww which had me going through Kleenex like Carlos goes through nachos. If you ever seen him eat nachos, you'd understand that's pretty fucking fast and scary. Like a wolf eating raw meat, I shook away the thought from my mind as Kendall approached the bed.

"Mon amant, do you want it in here or in the living room?" I looked over at him. My eyebrows furred together as my jaw slowly began dropping.

"Kendall!" I said loudly, and he started laughing; furiously shaking his head no

"I meant the soup, the soup I swear" He said, a big gorgeous smile spreading on his lips; putting his hands up in defeat, I shook my head

"I want 'it' in the living room" I told him, I had to laugh maybe we should swear off sexual innuendos for a while. He helped me up off the bed and on the couch in the living room, I had the thick comforter wrapped around me because I spontaneously got the chills. When I settled in the room, I didn't see the remote and the only thing on television was that kids show.

"What's this? Where's the remote?" He asked, I shrugged and turned back to the television as he got up to explore the whole room and look for the remote.

"What color hat did Hoho have?" Kai-Lan asked as I intently stared at the television.

"Blue" I answered automatically, I didn't notice that Kendall looked at me

"What'd you say?" He asked as he looked at me curiously

"Nothing" I answered and turned back to the television. Kendall continued to search for the remote

"Why do you think Hoho was angry?" Hoho was my favorite of them all

"Because his hat flew away" I said, I didn't realize Kendall was laughing until he plopped down next to me

"James Diamond, are you seriously watching a kid's television show?" He asked me, I shrugged

"What? I like this show" I told him in protest. So what I was 19, I liked this show

"It's for children, Jamie" He said, I wasn't seeing the 'connection' here.

"I like it! It's an okay show, now what are you going to tell me that me that hockey's too dangerous for me?" I asked him, he laughed, his green eyes staring into mine.

"No, I'm just saying. I think it's cute how you watch kid shows" He teased and I stuck my tongue out at him. He leaned over me, like he was about to kiss me and I put my hand up to block my lips from his view.

"Kendall Francis Knight, don't kiss me" I said, he pouted and looked as if he was truly hurt "Because I have cold germs, and if you kiss me you get cold germs, and I'm not going to play doctor with you!" I teased he smiled and sat back down

"Oh really? So if you're not going to play doctor with me, I don't have to play doctor with you" He said, and went to get up but my pasty hand pulled him back down

"I'll play doctor, but I won't like it" I smiled, he stared at me with a blank face before his cheeks rose with his smile and I laughed at his dimples.

"So, what's the purpose of you watching this?" He asked, I shrugged

"Because I like it" I said and leaned my head on his shoulder as he put his arm around me. We sat there, him trying to watch the kids show with me. After a few minutes and another episode came on, I sat there explaining the characters to him

"No, no, the tiger's Rintoo and the panda's Tolee" I explained, he sighed and tilted his head back in frustration

"But I thought the Panda was Rintoo!" He said, I sighed, I've been explaining this since the last few episodes.

"So Rintoo's the passive aggressive tiger?" He asked, I nodded and widened my eyes as obvious as it was

"Yeah" Short and simple and may be he'd remember it that way

"Holy fuck shit! The ants are going the wrong fucking way, somebody tell Hoho" I said, so caught up in the television I didn't notice Kendall laughing

"Oh, okay. I like Hoho" He said, I smiled

"Me too, he's my favorite" I told him, he moved his arm so that he was stroking my hair

"He reminds me of you" He said, I smiled and he leaned closer to kiss my temple. I leaned into his side.

"I love you Jammy" I laughed, I haven't heard that nickname in a long time

"I love you too Kendall" He kissed my temple again as we turned to watch the children's show.

I laughed out loud, and went into the living room and turned on the television. When we first met, in kindergarten and I introduced myself, Logan and Carlos accepted me with open arms and Kendall, we were what you'd call frienemies . We absolutely hated each other. And to make a parody of each other's names he called me Jammy. At first, Logan told me he was accidently calling me that; we were kids but then he just called me that just to irritate me and in return he was hall doll. He reminded me of the blonde baby Barbie doll, the boy with his blonde doll. God it pissed him off until about 2nd grade, it still were fun years. I heard the front door open and it was Mama Knight, and Katie; almost tipping over in grocery bags. I got up and grabbed two of them from her, she smiled

"…Thank you James" She said, clearly surprised. I guess I just woke up on the right side of the bed. I set the bags down on the counter, and Katie did the same. She squinted at the television.

"Uh, James? Were…were you watching…this?" I laughed, and nodded. She smiled and laughed along with me. Mama Knight ushered me to sit on the couch with her as Katie went into her bedroom.

"What's going on?" She asked

"Huh?" I asked her

"You're happy, what changed?" She asked me, I shrugged

"I don't know. I mean last night when we came home, I was more of pissed than depressed and now I'm okay. Remember when we were in Kindergarten?" I asked her, she smiled and laughed

"Do I, Kendall would always come home angry. 'James called me this again' or 'James shirt was awesome but I still don't like him' oh, I remember it like yesterday" She said, I smiled.

"I never knew he actually knew my name until 2nd grade. He always called me Jammy" I said, she smiled and put her hand over mines

"So, no cutting today?" She asked, I shook my head no "Have you wrote for today?" She asked, I smiled

"Nope no cutting. Yup, I wrote in it" I told her, she smiled at me

"What did you-Oh my God James! Go right now into that and take off that shirt!" I immediately started laughing as the front door opened up and in stepped Carlos and Logan. I was doubled over, almost on the floor and Mama Knight had that stern look on her face.

"Uh oh. The sexual innuendo shirts again?" Logan asked, I could barely nod as I tried to tell him that he had guessed right. Just as I thought I was about to stop laughing, I heard her begin to laugh too and I looked up to see she had on one of the brightest smiles.

"You and Kendall with those damn shirts" She said, she'd always flip out when she finally noticed them. The longest Kendall went without noticing what the shirt said was about 4 and a half hours. She's a very quick and smart mother, I'll tell you that. When I sat upright which was minutes later (It was just so funny seeing her freak out about this shirt), and we began talking again.

"As I was saying…" She tried to think of what she was going to ask me, but then she just forgot. So, as Carlos and Logan sat on either side of me, I thought of something that didn't strike me until now.

"So, I how are you guys doing?" I asked them, Carlos smiled and shook with excitement. I looked from him to Logan, who was kind of avoiding my gaze.

"That much sex huh?" I asked Logan snapped his head to look at me. He looked down and sadly shook his head.

"All you think about is sex! Sex, sex, sex, all the time; don't you need to think about something else, like school or something?" He asked, I smiled

"First, do you know who I'm with?" It saddened me to say that because it's confusing. Because he's in France, does this mean that we're over or not? "Second, yes I do think about other things but when Carlos starts bouncing like he can't sit right, there's not much left to say" I explained, and Logan agreed

"Anyway, we got you something" He said, Carlos smiled and jumped up and ran into their room I sighed. That boy never calms down, Logan smiled at me I feel that the brainiac has something planned and I'm not sure yet. Carlos came out with a huge book, like bigger than the size of my head and they both eyes me as Carlos dropped it in my lap.

"Logie, you know I don't read…things like this" I said, he smiled

"Just open he damn book Jamie" He said

"Alright, alright" I said and put my hands up in defeat. I ghosted my fingers over the cover and then I opened it. My eyes almost stung as I saw what they did.

"Guys…" I said, they smiled at me "Wow" I said

"Well, we thought you'd like it" The book wasn't actually a book, but a container and it were my favorite candy. The 'book' was filled with I don't know maybe a pound or more of Sour Patch Kids, I looked between the both of them. Sour Patch Kids were my only weakness, and they knew it; especially Kendall on the rare times we fought he'd always buy me Sour Patch Kids. I used to tease Kendall all the time and say that they looked just like him. He replied with saying that if they were him, then he should be glad because he's in my throat; I almost choked when he said that. Kendall and his sexual innuendos.