Chapter Twelve

Two days later Jane stepped off the plane at Logan Airport and called Frost.

"Hey, Jane, how did it go?" he asked.

"Tell Cavanaugh I'm back and I'll be in the office tomorrow morning. We catch any cases during my absence?" Jane replied.

Frost paused. "You're home?"

"Just got off the plane, Frost. We have any cases?" Jane repeated.

"What happened Jane?"

"She doesn't want to see me anymore, Frost, what the hell do you think happened?" Jane snapped. Frost was stunned.

"I'm sorry partner, I thought everything would work out."

"It didn't. Listen, I'll fill you in later. I'm about to go through customs. I just want to go home and sleep like the dead."

Frost clicked off his phone and sat thinking. Poor Jane, to go through all of this, asking Joey for a divorce and flying to Australia to see Maura, only to have it be all for nothing. He opened his email and started typing.

Jane opened her door, dumped her suitcase in the front hall and headed for the bedroom. She peeled her clothes off as she went, intending to fall in bed and wake up many, many hours later. She pulled the shades, pulled back the covers and stretched out. Closing her eyes she tried to sleep but her mind had other ideas.

"So is this a final goodbye, Maura?" Jane heard herself ask Maura.

"I think we should put some space between us, Jane."

"You're going to New York then?"

"After I close up my house in Boston, yes. I have to transfer some of the functions of the Foundation to new offices in New York but I don't think that will take long."

Jane looked at the woman she loved. Opening her mouth to say something that will get Maura to reconsider, Jane realized Maura's mind was made up. She turned on her heels and left the office. Picking up her suitcase she went to the airport and managed to catch the next flight back to Logan.

Jane was in shock. In fact, all the way through ticketing, boarding, the flight and customs she was a robot, moving automatically. Her heart beat its rhythm but without any feeling.

Jane tossed and turned. She couldn't sleep. Grabbing her pillow she buried her face and cried once again. For once she was glad the kids were in school and Joey was at work. She didn't want anyone to see her like this.

Frost hit 'send' on his email and returned to work. He wondered how long it would be before she replied and was pleasantly surprised to get an instant reply.

"Hi, Barry, how are you? We'll have to meet for lunch one of these days. I've missed you and Vince. Yes, I saw Jane when she came here. I was surprised to see her walk in and then she explained her confusion over our last phone call. Barry, I will always have feelings for Jane. I felt we were soul mates, meant to be together forever, but she broke my heart-shattered it, in fact. I just don't know if I can get over that and allow her another chance. Love, Maura."

Frost read the email and smiled. Maura still loved Jane, she just didn't tell Jane that part. He reached for his phone and called Jane.

"Okay, Frost, what was so important I had to get my ass out of bed and meet you, as you put it?" Jane glared at her partner. She was so sleep deprived she didn't know what she was running on.

"It's lunchtime, Jane. My treat."
"Why?" Jane regarded Frost suspiciously.

"I want to talk to you, find out what happened between you and Maura. Now seemed as good a time as any."

"She doesn't want to see me, Frost. End of story. Now we all move on."

"You sure about that, partner?"

"I was standing in her office, Frost. I told her flat out I loved her. I got slapped. At the end of my visit I asked her if this was a final goodbye and she all but told me it was."

"That isn't the impression Maura gave me when I emailed her this morning."

Jane stared at Frost. "You sent Maura an email about me?"

"Yes. I wanted to make sure you weren't making a big mistake, Jane."

"Frost, you told me to go to Australia and find out if Kelly and Maura got married. I did that and made a fool of myself in the process. I now have a two thousand dollar charge on my credit card that my soon to be ex-husband is going to see and give to his attorney to use against me. Then he'll be laughing behind my back."

Frost shook his head. "I don't think so, Jane."

Jane slammed down the ketchup bottle in her frustration. "What the hell, Frost? What do you know that I don't?"

"Maura still loves you, Jane. She told me in her email."

"Frost, Maura told me I broke her heart so badly she can't trust me again. Feelings have nothing to do with this."

"You're wrong."

"Please tell me what's going through that pea brain of yours, Frost, before I get so mad at you I shoot you here and now."

"Look, she meets up with Kelly Garrison in Australia, tries to make it work but it won't. She breaks up with her, again."

"Yeah, she told me the first time she started dating Kelly was just to make me jealous."

"Which means Maura never had feelings for Kelly, Jane, only for you."

"I broke her heart."

"Maura still doesn't have feelings for Kelly, or for anyone but you. She's dated over the years but hasn't made a commitment to anyone."

"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, Frost, I broke her heart."

"Shattered it, actually, according to her email. But I think you still have a chance. Just how badly do you want Maura in your life, Jane? Because you're going to have to work very, very hard to win her back."

Jane sat back and regarded Frost for a moment. Her gaze wandered off as she thought. Her eyes lighted on the park across the street from the café. This was where she first knew she loved Maura as more than a friend. Then came Maura's confession of feelings, via the kiss, and Jane thought of her life without Maura. A sharp, piercing pain crossed her heart. She nearly grabbed her chest to stop it.

"I can't live without her, Frost. There is no one else."

"Then go get her, partner."

Maura sighed and dropped onto the sofa as soon as she entered her home. I am beyond exhausted, she thought. With all of the meetings, the airline travel, and Jane, I went through more in these past six weeks than I've been through in years. She leaned her head against the back of the sofa and closed her eyes. Intending only to rest for a moment Maura fell into a deep sleep.

Her parents' backyard stood transformed into a white wonderland. Only the green grass broke the white color scheme. White flowers adorned every surface and they had been draped with small white lights. The gazebo had been decorated as well. Maura heard music and saw chairs lined up on either side of the gazebo, arranged as if for a wedding. Maura frowned. Who's getting married? She wondered. The guests began to arrive. Most of them were her parents' friends, and people she knew in various stages of her professional life. Maura couldn't even think of half of their names. Am I supposed to be here? Who's getting married in my parents' backyard?

Suddenly the music changed as the wedding march began. Maura started to turn to see who was walking down the aisle and realized she was dressed in a wedding gown. Her father turned to her, smiling and offering his arm. She took it, smiling up at him.

Walking down the aisle Maura struggled to see her groom. She couldn't see his face but his form looked familiar. Maura walked and walked but didn't seem to get any closer to the altar. She looked at her father, who was now frowning at her. What's wrong? Maura wanted to say but couldn't get the words out. Maura turned back to the altar. Her groom turned and she saw Jane standing there, dressed in a stunning white tux custom-fitted to her long, sleek frame. Her hair pulled back she saw nothing but love shining out of Jane's eyes. Relief flooded through Maura, then concern as she couldn't seem to make her way to Jane.

"Jane! Jane! Come get me, Jane! I can't seem to get to the altar!" Maura cried certain Jane would come to her rescue. Jane's expression turned to one of horror as she saw Maura standing in the aisle. Maura cried out once again as she recognized Jane's reluctance at marrying her. She turned and ran from the church.

Maura woke with a start. Tears were falling down her face. Reaching up to wipe them away she got up and started unpacking. Despite her fatigue and exhaustion from the trip she knew she wouldn't sleep. With that dream in her mind she didn't want to chance another recurrence. Maura busied herself around the house, refusing to think of anything or anyone other than Bass. Starting to dust her furniture Maura picked up a picture of her and Jane that still sat on her bookcase. Despite Jane dumping her for Joey Maura never parted with the picture. Even when she attempted to pack it away Maura couldn't. The picture always sat on the bookshelf. Taken when they were dating Jane was behind Maura, her arms around Maura's waist, her chin on Maura's shoulder. Both women were laughing and anyone looking at the picture knew the two women were in love with each other.

Maura picked up the picture and looked at it closely. She traced Jane's features with her finger. Suddenly the pain in her heart was too much to bear. "Enough, enough, enough!" Maura screamed. She hurled the picture across the room where it hit the wall and shattered the glass. The broken frame and picture landed on the floor. Maura slid to the floor on her knees, sobbing. "Oh, Jane," was all she could manage to say.

TBC