April of 3rd Year, Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory

Remus sighed as he closed the lid of his trunk, having spent the past hour or so pretending to pack. Straightening up, he ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. His annoyance stemmed not from having wasted his time, however, (although that was an hour that could have been spent catching up on Potions, the irritatingly studious voice in the back of his mind supplied) but from having to expend energy on deceiving his friends like this. For well enough a year and a half now, he had been making up excuses every full moon for why he needed to leave the castle – be it family illness, funeral, wedding, any occasion Remus could think of had been used at some point or other. He wasn't surprised at how easy Peter was to fool, but for the smartest boys in the year, James and Sirius were exceedingly gullible when it came to their friend - for goodness' sake, he was pretty sure he had told them that his Great Aunt Gladys had died about three times by now. But no, every time he came out with some feeble reason as to why he had to spend a few nights away from Hogwarts, they appeared to swallow it whole. For Remus, it was a mark of how much his two best friends trusted him that they believed his lies so readily. Somehow, that thought didn't exactly ease the feeling of guilt weighing down on him for his monthly deceptions.

It has to be this way though, he sternly reminded himself as he hoisted his trunk onto its side and hauled it over towards the door of the boys' dorm. Remus allowed himself no comforting illusions – he was ridiculously lucky to be at Hogwarts at all given his condition, and there was no way it would've happened under any other headmaster than Albus Dumbledore. He had been given an amazing opportunity – one that he was pretty sure no other werewolf had ever been given before him – and one that would almost certainly be ruined were anyone to find out: that had been drummed into him firmly enough by his parents at the age of eleven. The rest of the wizarding world wouldn't want their children sharing a castle with a monster, and the ministry would jump at any opportunity to go against Dumbledore's ruling and continue their programme of discrimination against "Dangerous Dark Creatures". Besides, Remus understood how the rest of the school, even his best friends, would react to his secret. James and Sirius were truly the greatest friends anyone could ask for – and much more than Remus in particular felt he deserved – but he had to be realistic. Wonderful people though they were, he couldn't expect them to stick by him if they knew that he turned into a bloodthirsty beast that would happily rip their throats out once a month. Remus knew, and sympathised with, how much they'd hate and fear him if they ever knew the truth.

So the lies, the constant deceit, it was all necessary, all just another part of Remus' life, he thought as he dragged his trunk through the empty castle (devoid of students as it was a Hogsmeade weekend) towards the hospital wing, where it would be concealed to keep up the appearance that he'd gone away. God only knew it was better than the alternative.

XxxxX

"Ok, try this one out for size, he's-"

"Sirius, will you just cut it out?" James interrupted exasperatedly, "Yes, Remus does go away a lot, and I'm not sure I believe the reasons he gives us either, but you're obsessed!

You've been driving me mental all day here!"

They were walking along the main road of Hogsmeade, having just left Honeydukes with their wallets now considerable lighter than the bulging bags of sweets they were carrying. Peter bobbed his head fervently in agreement, not that this was much of a surprise to Sirius. The timid boy usually agreed with pretty much anything James came out with – he practically hero-worshipped the messy-haired pureblood. If he was honest, Sirius himself would have acknowledged that he was starting to become obsessed about Remus' whereabouts whenever he "went away", but it didn't stop him from constantly thinking about it – he hated the feeling that one of his best friends was lying to him. God knew he got enough of that at Grimmauld Place. And Peter's sanctimonious nodding was doing nothing to ease his irritable mood.

"I just want to know where he's going, why he's lying to us!" Sirius exploded, his vitriol causing Peter to jump in fright and even James to back off a bit.

"Woah there!" James replied, placing a comforting hand on his best friend's shoulder, "Someone clearly needs a calming charm, mate."

Sirius chuckled, clapping his friend on the back as the tension between them dissolved pretty much instantly. It was a mark of how close he and James were – there was no one else in the world who had the ability to calm Sirius mid-rant. Well, apart from Remus. Still though, there was a hint of a glare in his expression as he passed his eyes back over Peter – enough at least for the boy to keep his distance, walking on the other side of James to Sirius.

"Ok, so maybe I'm getting a little over-the-top," Sirius conceded, finally lowering his voice "But you've got to admit – Remus isn't telling us the truth about where he's going. He seems to be at a different bloody funeral every month! Unless his family's cursed or something, that's just not happening. And near enough the same time of every month too! God, I'd suggest it was a severe case of PMS if we didn't all share the showers."

James stopped suddenly mid-stride, looking straight at Sirius. "What was that?"

Sirius grinned back at him. "What, about us sharing the showers? Come on James, you can't seriously tell me you've never snuck a peek from time to time – Remus is hung like a-"

"No, you moron." James interjected, "Although I'm keeping my eye on you from now on, pervert. I meant about you saying he always runs off at the same time of the month."

Sirius' expression changed from playfully provocative to confused.

"Well yeah," he replied slowly, "It is always the same time of month, haven't you noticed? Because we always have McGonagall's essays to do while he's gone, and we always have to do them without copying him, don't we? She only sets them once a month, it's her monthly check-up thing. Merlin, you don't think he's doing it to avoid the essays do you? Nah, one sec, we're talking about Remus here. That's a crap theory James."

James rolled his eyes, exasperated once more by his best friend's antics.

"That's not what I meant. But…no. No, that theory's even more stupid than yours…" James mused before breaking off and looking thoughtfully up the road.

"Stop being so bloody vague, James, you know it pisses me off."

The pureblood seemed to come out of his reverie, focussing on Sirius once more.

"I was just thinking…well, it's ridiculous, but…you said Remus always goes away at the same time of month, right?" He said slowly.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Always this time of month, right?"

"Yes," Sirius replied, wondering where his friend was going with this.

"Well what's special about today?"

Sirius shrugged, totally nonplussed. "I dunno, we have McGonagall's stupid essay on the relation of Arithmancy to theoretical Transfiguration to write for tomorrow morning?" He was beginning to get a little unnerved by the unusually grave tone in his best friend's voice.

"Those Transfiguration essays," James said, "We always write them in the dorm, right? Not the common room, where we usually have to work in the evenings because that's where the light is. And we write them in the dorm because-"

"Because the dorm's always lit up by a full moon when we're writing them," Sirius cut-in, still unsure of where his friend was heading. Then, it suddenly clicked. "Oh, Merlin's saggy balls James, you can't be serious! You think he's a werewolf!"

"I know it sounds crazy, Sirius, but it kind of fits!" James exclaimed, trying to explain himself, "He's supposedly 'away' every single full moon, he's ridiculously strong for our age even though he never does anything physical and looks like a strong breeze might bowl him over, he-"

"No." Sirius interjected furiously, his tone low and dangerous, "No James. Cut it out right now. How could you come out with stuff like that? Remus is our friend, James! How the hell can you accuse him of being a, a…just…no."

James shrugged, knowing Sirius too well to be surprised by his vehement outburst.

"Hey, it was just a theory," he replied, "Like I said, I know it's crazy, it just seemed to fit."

Conversation was somewhat forced for the rest of the day in Hogsmeade, most of it spent in The Three Broomsticks with the boys brooding over their drinks. Unspoken was the thought that, no matter how crazy and ridiculous they all agreed James' idea was, none of them could quite push it out of their minds.