Chapter 8
"YOU DID WHAT?" Teddy asked as she walked through the door to Arizona's apartment. Arizona had called Teddy the next morning and told her everything that happened the night before with Callie. Teddy couldn't believe what she had heard and swiftly made her way to Arizona's.
"I only did what you told me I should do." Arizona said under her breath as she sat on the couch hugging her legs.
"I told you to tell her how you felt. Not to break her heart, Arizona!"
"I only did what I thought was right."
"What did you say to her?" Teddy asked.
"She said what?" Mark asked while he and Callie were at the gym as Callie requested. The events of last night got her all tied up in knots and she needed to blow off some steam.
"Yeah. Let's end this now before we get in too deep? That sounds like something you hear in a movie. Like what does that even mean?" Callie said as she peddled hard on the exercise bike.
"Weren't you two in it pretty deep already?" Mark asked perplexed by what the blonde had said to his friend.
"My thoughts exactly! And then she said something about not wanting to deal with losing someone again...she never explained that one to me either. I don't know what to do." Callie said slowing her pace on the bike.
Mark took his hand and started to rub circles on Callie's back. The gesture was all it took to break the brave face Callie was sporting and after a minute of trying to maintain control of her emotions
Callie broke into tears.
"I love her Mark. More than I've ever loved anyone in my life. How am I supposed to move on from this?"
"Why, oh why Arizona? Why do you seem to have this tendency to sabotage anything good that ever happens to you?"
"I don't know..." Breaking into a sob of tears Arizona looked at Teddy for the first time since she got there. "I just...I didn't want to get hurt."
"I know, but you're already hurt." Teddy responded sitting next to Arizona, pulling her into a tight embrace.
Later that day Callie went with Mark to the hospital and hung out with him in the lab while he worked on building a skin graft for one of his patients.
They barely spoke to one another. Callie was too deep in emotion to speak but just being in the company of her friend helped her cope. Just a little.
It was nearing two thirty in the afternoon and Callie had to head down to the station to get ready for her shift. Mark accompanied her down the cat walk and stopped at the top of the stairs.
"Listen, if you need anything. Anything at all, call me. Or you know I'm right across the hall."
"Thanks Mark." Callie responded hugging her friend tightly. Once she broke from the embrace, she noticed Mark looking ahead. Deciding to look where her friends' attention was she saw Arizona and Teddy deep in conversation.
Feeling that they were being watched both Teddy and Arizona glanced over to see Callie and Mark just feet away. Arizona started making her way over to the two and Teddy followed, not sure what her friend was going to do. Callie saw them approaching. "Oh god. What do I do?" she said in a panic whisper.
"Just take a deep breath and take it one step at a time." Mark responded holding Callie by the shoulders.
"Hey" Callie heard from behind her. Callie turned around to see Arizona standing there. In front of her with evidence of crying in her face.
"Hey" was all that Callie could muster.
"I um...was wondering if I could come by sometime tomorrow to umm...grab some stuff that I left at your apartment." Arizona said not really looking Callie in the eye, afraid of breaking her resolve.
Sadness evident in her voice, Callie responded "um, yeah I uh...I'm working the third watch tonight so I'll pretty much be home pretty much all day tomorrow."
"I'll come by after I get off work, um after eight."
And with that, Arizona and Teddy turned and walked away. Teddy turning over her shoulder to signal an apology.
"It's okay Cal. Just breathe. Go to work, it will do you some good to stay distracted." Mark said.
Callie nodded and headed down the stairs and out the hospital to head to work.
Meanwhile, Teddy was hot on Arizona's heels as she followed her to radiology.
"You sure you know what you're doing? You just broke up with her last night. Don't you think you should give her some time before you break her heart even more?" Teddy asked dumbfounded by what transpired between her friend and now ex girlfriend.
"If I don't do it now, it will just make it harder to do it later."
"You're being a little cold, don't you think?" Teddy asked.
Before Arizona could answer Mark quickly approached them."What the hell is your problem, Robbins? Her heart is breaking and you don't seem to care. You just broke up with her and you don't even have
the courtesy to give her some space to process!"
"Mark, you're not helping..." Teddy tried to interject.
"Shut up." Mark said never once taking his eyes off of Arizona.
"Mark, she's your friend and I get that..." Arizona started but was shut down by Mark as his temper was starting to rise. "No you don't get anything! My god, Robbins! For the love of Pete what is your
problem, you wouldn't even give Callie a chance."
Arizona couldn't take the attack any longer and retaliated. "I don't know Mark! Why don't you tell me what my damn problem is because obviously I am oblivious to my faults."
"You bail." Mark simply stated.
"What?" Arizona asked in confusion. Her tears at bay.
"When things get hard, you bail." Mark then kept on walking and walked through a set of doors leaving the two doctors alone in the hallway.
"I hate to say it but, he's kinda right." Teddy said as she looked to her friend.
"What? I thought you were on my side." Arizona asked surprised by Teddy agreeing with Mark.
"I'm not on anyone's side. I'm just saying he has a point. Remember what happened between you and Joanne? You left her when things god difficult between you two. You didn't even try to get past your
issues, you just left."
"I know. But this is different. I still love Callie. I will always love Callie, but I can't live my life paranoid every minute that she isn't home."
"Arizona, do you realize how ridiculous this is? I know you're scared, and yes her job puts her in potential danger every day but...just walking out your front door is dangerous."
"I still won't be able to handle this. I've made up my mind Teddy." With that said Arizona left Teddy in the hallway and ran into the elevator to go to the PEDS wing.
"Wow, you look like you haven't slept? Girlfriend keep you busy all night?" Avery said laughing more to himself than anyone.
Callie just gave Avery a stare that would scare anyone into silence. "Avery, I like you and all, but I am your superior and the fate of your career lies within my hands, so if you don't mind...shut up."
"Shutting up Officer Torres."
"Good" Callie then grabbed her radio and made Avery follower her out to the cruisers.
It was now very dark in the city of Seattle. The streets looked abandoned, with the exception of the odd person walking along. Usually the homeless. Callie and Jackson were sitting in the cruiser watching one particular hotspot in the city. This area was known to have criminal activity occur especially in the late hours of night, early morning while the whole city slept.
With coffees in their hands, the two officers were just sipping on their cups and watching. Watching for any activity. Any sign of potential trouble. The night was quiet, the inside of the car was quiet as neither one said a word to another. It was now two thirty in the morning, and their shift was near its end. They made no arrests, handed out no tickets. It was indeed a quiet night in Seattle. Callie put the cruiser into drive and pulled away from the curb of the street they had been sitting at for nearly four hours.
Heading back to the station, Jackson finally broke the silence.
"I'm sorry about earlier."
Callie made eye contact with Jackson, but only for a moment as she was focused on the road ahead of her. "It's fine. Don't worry about it." She said trying to sound unaffected.
"Wanna talk about it? You seemed upset." Jackson asked.
"Not really, Avery. Believe me, I've talked about it and I'm all talked out. I just want to go home and go to bed." Callie responded.
Forty five minutes later, Callie was putting the key into the door of her apartment. When she walked in, there were no lights on, the drapes were closed and there was nothing but silence. Callie felt so exhausted from her shift that the lack of light, noise or movement in her home felt relaxing and she made her way to her bedroom. She flopped on the bed and was asleep almost instantly.
Seven o'clock pm, the clock read at the top of the wall in the exam room. Arizona was doing a quick consult on a child that came in. After her initial examination, she turned to the nurse with the child's chart, handed it to her and told the nurse to refer the patient to cardio after CT scans were done.
She then proceeded to the Attending's lounge, and changed into her street clothes. She stopped for a moment before exiting the lounge to take a breath in preparation for what she was about to do. Somewhere deep down in her mind she knew she was being a little harsh, cruel and ridiculous for breaking up with her Calliope so late in the game. But her head was telling her that it was the right thing to do to protect her heart from feeling the kind of loss she felt when her brother died, ever again.
She closed her eyes, took a breath and made her way out of the lounge and out of the hospital and made that short walk across the street to Callie's apartment. Although it was a short walk, it felt like the longest walk of her life.
Making her way up to the fifth floor, Arizona didn't realize she was holding her breath as she made her way down the hallway to apartment 502. A little hesitant, she lifted her fist and knocked lightly on the door.
She could hear shuffling on the other side of the door and before she knew it, the door was opening. There stood Callie, clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a Seattle Police Department t-shirt. It was evident all over Callie's face that she had been crying. Her eyes looked puffy and tired and she couldn't do anything but stand there and look sadly at Arizona.
"Hey…" Arizona almost whispered.
"Hey, umm…come in, you can get whatever you need. I'll stay out here on the couch." Callie said allowing Arizona to enter the apartment.
With caution and feelings of guilt and incredible sadness in the room, Arizona made her way to the bedroom to grab some of her personal items that she had left here for whenever she stayed over. Her heart broke as she could hear sniffles coming from the living room.
Callie was sitting on the couch, sobbing lightly and wiping the tears that were silently streaming down her face. These two were very much in love, and she couldn't come to any kind of understanding as to why Arizona would have broken up with her. Sure, Arizona said it was because she couldn't handle the pain should something happen…but in Callie's mind; breaking up over those fears was a load of crap.
Arizona slowly emerged from the bedroom, and looked to the dark haired woman sitting on the couch with her back facing her. She could barely cope with the guilt of knowing that she is the reason for breaking this woman's heart, but there was no going back. She didn't want to hurt the woman she loved but she didn't want to get hurt should something happen to Callie. All she wanted was a simple relationship that didn't make life hard. Sadly, even still all she really wanted was a life with Callie.
Pulling herself together, Arizona as quietly as possible made her way to the door of the apartment, she couldn't bare saying goodbye as just being in the apartment of her now former lover was excruciatingly painful enough. However, Callie heard her make her way for the door, and stood up to look at Arizona.
Both their hearts breaking into pieces by just the sight of one another, Callie approached Arizona slowly. She came within inches of the blonde, tears falling freely. She could barely say anything, yet the silence said everything.
"Arizona." Was all that Callie could muster, and before she knew it, Arizona had spun her around and pinned her against the wall, crashing their lips together in one of the deepest and earth shattering kisses that would most likely be their last.
Arizona slowly pulled away, resting their foreheads together for a second. She looked deep into Callie's eyes, and felt her body pulling her to lean in for another kiss. But her brain telling her otherwise, Arizona pulled away, leaving Callie standing against the wall, watching as she exited the apartment.