Twilight: Impossible Destiny
Chapter 4: Mine
We can recall moments in the past when we had equal chances of living or dying - in a car crash, for example... Every time someone finds himself at a crossroads of this kind, he has two worlds before him... It is the same with each decisive moment, both with birth and with death. Just as the virtual dead man that I am continues on his way on the other side, carries on with his existence which runs just beneath the surface of mine, birth is that dividing line where on the one side I exist as myself, but on the other I begin, at the same moment to exist as other Such is the form of
alterity...(Baudrillard Impossible Exchange 82)
BPOV 4
I've gone mad. I heard what I just said to him. He will think I am insane. Well, I am. But how sane can he really be to take me like that. We cannot be new to each other. We must go a long way back into time. Who were we before?
Where in history did we know each other before? We have always been lovers. How many hundreds of years have we been longing for each other? With that violence just now it has been way too long for either one of us.
"You knew me right away," I said.
"I know now that I knew you just as suddenly. It could have been Egypt, or Asia, or Atlantis, Greece. You have always been my lover just as I have always been yours. Through the centuries. And through the future because now is not just now for us. We think we are meeting for the first time now, but we aren't. And somewhere in the future our lives are mingling, Destiny is arranging for us to meet again. We have never been without each other. And all the between times we are always just waiting for the Other, just waiting, doing whatever it is we do in the time and place, but always just waiting for the Other. Because when we meet all else stops. Whoever we were before we meet just goes on and diverges away from who we are when we are together. We become Other as soon as Destiny arranges our meeting. And when we sit and talk to each other about this we will know how Destiny has been guiding the world so
we can at last come together.
"I know all this because I have been obsessed, because I have been trying to find you but I didn't know I was looking, searching. I have been preparing myself to know you immediately, because it is so important that we know instantly so we do not chance missing each other, so we don't waste any more time in this life now. What we are supposed to do I do not know. We will be given signs to tell us. Like the pigeons just now. That was telling us in a startling way that we could not ignore or deny.
"Please say something. Please tell me you know this. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this right
now. Please."
I'm begging him to know this. I will beg all the rest of the night in as many ways as I can imagine until I know he knows this. I will beg forever.