DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns everything; I just have an overly active imagination.

ATTENTION: This story's theme is rape.

A/N: All of you who preferred Bella's POV this is one for you.

As always the italics is a flashback and the basic font is picking up where Chapter 2 left off.

Without further ado here is Chapter 4- Enjoy!

Tortured Sole

I couldn't have been more irritated at my husband for asking me to drop off some file for his best friend. He knew very well that man gave me the creeps. I only agreed because he sounded like it was indeed very urgent, and probably meant a lot for his work. Okay honestly, I couldn't care less about the shady work James does. I was never so glad to see him leave Edward's law firm. I know he dealt with clients of less than reputable nature. Some of those people he defended successfully just didn't look innocent to me. Case in point, he represented the Volturi brothers a few years back. It was a murder trial that everyone who was anyone knew he was guilty yet James got the judge to rule in Caius' favor. I can just hope that he never got my husband wrapped up in anything he did like that. I just want to help Edward.

Who am I kidding? I am so making him pay for this! A nice dinner out sounds divine. Also some girl time while he stays home with the twins sounds perfect. It is late, dark out and he said I wouldn't have time to drop off the twins somewhere first. Why James couldn't get up and get his precious paperwork himself is beyond me. Or why, for that matter, the two-brain child's couldn't have dealt with this before now? Men! One would think two educated gentlemen, such as themselves, would be able to figure this out without me!

Scribbling Edward a quick note about dinner if he happened, by some miracle, to get home before I did, I left that on the table and went to ready Nick and Nattie for a car ride. Three pairs of shoes, three coats, two car seats, one diaper bag, one set of keys, and one file folder later we were all in the car and pulling out of the garage. I had my cell phone open and giving me turn-by-turn directions on how to get to his house. I hoped I didn't get lost. He didn't live that far away, but it would just be something I would do, get lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

Not four minutes on the road and Nick starts to put up a fuss. I try talking to him and shushing him and everything else I can think of doing while separated by the front seat. Nothing works. Pretty soon I have Natalie joining in on the crying fest in the back seat of my car. Just what I need, two inconsolable children. Edward, if I could strangle you now, I would! Surely I would regret it in the morning, but right now it would just make me feel better.

"Shhh… it's okay my darlings, mommy's here. It's okay we're almost there." Making my last turn through the maze of the old winding subdivision, I pull into the vaguely familiar driveway. I've been here no more than twice even though Edward used to be here several times a week. I could never understand the draw between them, but just as long as I didn't have to be involved I was fine. Something in his icy blue eyes made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He was always watching, waiting for… something. I never felt at ease around him and preferred to stay glued to Edward's side. I was glad we had been so involved with Nick and Nattie and now with Edward back at work, he hadn't had much time for his long time friend.

Sitting in his driveway, I debated with myself on whether I could leave the car running with my children in the car and run the damn file up, hand it to him and run right back. Of course every worst-case scenario ran through my mind effectively making my mind up for me. Taking my keys out of the ignition, I ran around to grab the two car seats that by the wonder of modern design had the carrying handle built right in. With the files tucked under my arm I carried everyone up to the door and rang the bell twice. I wanted nothing more than to shove the papers under the door and make a run for it. I was already on edge, and I hadn't even seen him yet.

I heard movement inside, but he didn't come to the door. Me being impatient as ever, I rang the doorbell two more times in quick succession. He knew I was coming. He should have been waiting for me. Couldn't the man just open the door so I could leave? Finally the footsteps grew louder and the door finally opened. There stood the man I had come to see with the same cold blue eyes and long blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail. I noticed he was wearing a jacket and shoes… he must be heading out. No wonder I needed to get here pronto, he had a date. Just perfect, make me jump through flaming hoops so he can continue right on with his perfect little life.

"Bella! It is so good to see you! How are you? Oh, you brought Nicolas and Natalie! Please come in. Can I get you anything, something to drink perhaps? You look wonderful." What has this guy on cloud nine? He has never been this talkative… ever. Maybe they have him medicated? Or maybe his date is really promising and he thinks he's getting laid. Since he is making such an effort to be nice, I figured I could try and ease the scowl off my face.

Stepping through the doorway, I set down the two baby carriers and pulled out the file folder. "It's good to see you too. I'm doing well… as well as can be expected with two newborns. They haven't discovered the concept of sleeping through the night yet and how wonderful it can be. But, yes Edward said you needed these files as soon as possible so I did bring the twins. However, I do think I should be heading home. It's late and I'm a bit tired. Thanks for the drink offer though."

After handing the files over, I just wanted to go home no matter how nice he was being. My creepo radar was still on high alert. "Are you sure you can't stay? I haven't gotten to see these two yet." What. The. Hell? He bent down so he was right above the two carriers. Peaking under the blanket I had placed over Nattie's baby carrier, I had to hold in my protest. Repeating over and over in my head that it was going to be fine, he was Edward's BFF. I couldn't freak out even though I so wanted to at the moment. Scooping up my baby girl in his arms he carefully kissed her tiny cheek. "This must be Natalie. Or do you call you call her Nattie? Bella, believe me when I tell you these two are all Edward talks about any more. I feel as if I know them already. He was right they are adorable." Still cradling my daughter in his arms, he reached to look at Nicholas whom I quickly grabbed before he had the chance.

"This would be our Nicholas. Just like his father right down to his crazy hair. I swear the child will never be in anything by a buzz cut or hat." Why was I rambling? Why was I still on edge? He was clearly all right. Yet, why did I still have the urge to pull my little baby from his grasp and bolt out of his house?

"That he does, but this little lady got his eyes. Green, just her daddy's. He, however, got your brown eyes. Still just as captivating as the originals." That is why I still have those feelings….when he says stuff like that. I now have every intention of getting the hell out of here. He hasn't wiped that smug smile from his face. I can't be here anymore without showing how panicked I really am.

"James, it was lovely to see you. We will have to get together again soon when Edward is finally done with this case that has had him wrapped up for the past few weeks." I do hope I am a better liar than Edward says I am, because if not he so knows I didn't mean that. " But it's late, and I still have to drive back home. Edward probably won't be back until really late, but I'd feel better making sure he makes it home safe." I stooped down to place Nick back in his carrier when I noticed James hadn't budged. Ugh. Incapable men. Couldn't even help me put a baby in a car seat. "Hand her here and I'll strap her back in." I held my arms out to take her, but he wasn't looking.

No sooner had I spoken, I swear he moaned under his breath. It was definitely time to go now. "James, I'll take Nattie so I can go." He was really weirding me out.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Bella." What on earth did that mean? Of course he could. It was very simple. Bend down and hand the baby to me so I can go.

"What? You frozen there or something?" I tried to laugh, but truth be told, I couldn't quite manage it in my present state of being freaked out.

"Oh, Bella." It was then that he turned his gaze from the ceiling to look at me with those piercing blue eyes. "I've have been watching you for far too long."

-~-

My body wouldn't cooperate with what my mind wanted to do. I wanted to run for the hills. I wanted to call the police. I wanted to do something! I wanted Edward's arms to run into. I wanted someone! Instead I was super glued to my spot on the floor looking out into the picturesque backyard with the phone pressed to my ear.

"Bella, I've been waiting for you." I knew I heard a groan, a moan, something of the sort on the other end of the line. I wanted to hang up so badly, I just couldn't. "I've come to claim what is mine… you are mine!"

That's what did it, hearing those last words that I had relived so many hundreds of times in my nightmares again I broke free. Dropping the phone, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me up the stairs and into the back recesses of my closet. Why I ran here, I haven't a clue. Why I dropped the phone, I haven't the foggiest. All I know right now is that my rapist is outside my house and I am helplessly alone.

I try to listen to the eerie silence around me, the calm before the storm. I hear the back door open and curse myself for not thinking to lock it. Of course locks only keep honest people honest. There is nothing that would have stopped him from picking up a rock lining the flowerbeds and chucking it through my glass patio door. Why didn't I set the alarm on the security system? Oh right, because I thought all he wanted was a quick and easy rape and to murder my children. How silly of me to think he would never come back after ruining my life. Edward, why didn't I listen when you said I needed a dog? I could have used one about now, a nice big German shepherd or something equally massive.

It is only a matter of time before he finds me. It is only a matter of time before he drags me out of my poorly conceived hiding place that might as well be under my bed. I listen to slow methodical footfalls cover every inch of the down stairs and the creak of the second step as he ascends the stairs, even closer to me. Every step brings him closer, one step closer than I ever wanted him to be again. Why didn't I tell someone it was James? Why did I lie for so long to everyone? Why didn't I describe any incriminating details to the sketch artist? All these questions, I have but one answer to. I love my husband, and there was no way I was going to let what happened to our children happen to him. No one else was going to suffer for my mistakes. James told me what to do to keep my family alive. Twice I didn't listen and twice I had to witness deaths of the souls I loved more than anything it this world. I would not be making that same mistake again.

"Bella… Bella? I know you're here my pet." He calls my name as if I am a cat he has been away from for the weekend. The bile rises in my throat, reminding me of the breakfast or ice cream I never got to eat this morning. At least there isn't anything in my stomach to purge in my fear. "Bella? Where are you?" His voice; a singsong like tone you would use to amuse a child. A tone I used to use before he took mine away. " Why are you hiding from me? It's just James. Bella, come out, I've missed you in my time away." He's at the end of the hall near the old nursery, now the new guest room, Edward's now vacant home office, then the library. He passes the rooms after a meticulous search of each one.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." He says as if preparing to chastise an erring child. He enters the master suite just mere feet away from my hiding spot. My heart is still pounding hard in my ears and it's a wonder I can hear anything at all. Surrounded by silks and laces and cottons and cashmeres, I hide. He continues calling out to me as if his voice will draw me out, before his hands grab a hold of me and drag me out. From down on the first floor, I hear a door open again. This time, it's the front door. I know for a fact I locked it. I haven't gone out that door in two weeks. Did he unlock it before he came up? Does he have an accomplice this time? I feel as if I'm going to pass out, until I hear the sweetest voice I could have ever conjured in my panic induced delirium.

"Bella? Hey, it's Alice. You didn't hear me knock so I used my key? I know you're up, woman! Your phone was off the hook the twelve times I tried calling! Come on, I need lunch. There is this great little café that just opened up like two minutes away that is absolutely divine. Bella?" Yes, it was Alice all right. She was probably the only person who you could hear clear as a bell buried in a second floor closet while she was on the first floor. How I wanted to race out of this closet and leap into her tiny arms and thank her for the rest of my life.

"Damn bitch!" James sneered. Alice wouldn't have heard his exclamation, but his voice rendered me stationary again. Would he hurt Alice, too? Would he bind us both and have his evil way with us both? I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't do to Jasper what I did to Edward. I couldn't fail again. I didn't think he would pull someone else into this, get someone else involved who may not be so inclined to keep secret his tangled web of lies. That was a risk I didn't want to take. I heard his footsteps quickly descend the stairs and I sent a thousand prayers to whoever may be listening that he wouldn't touch her.

"Finally! Bell… James? What are you doing here? I just saw you at Emmett's. Did Edward tell you to come here? Did Edward come with you? I told him I was coming here today to take Bella to lunch." I couldn't stay hidden any more. I would most likely collapse into a pile of terror and start sobbing the moment I saw him, but I couldn't just stand by and not do anything while Alice was in my house with this monster. He couldn't hurt her the way he hurt me. No, he wouldn't ever be able to do that. I would gladly go with him if it meant saving my little pixie sister.

"Hello Alice." His tone was smooth and calm. It drew you in like a poisonous flower does its prey innocently, alluring yet deadly. "I came by to check on Bella. Edward said he hadn't been here in a few weeks. Bella was just giving me a tour. She stopped in her restroom though she should be out shortly. It's good to see you, Tinker Bell." I knew, I just knew my knees were going to give out as I rounded the hallway and came running down the stairs. I nearly stumbled, but managed to catch the banister. I flung myself into her arms whizzing right past James. I just had to get to her. I had to prove to myself she was really here. I had to know that she wasn't going to disappear into a poof of smoke and I would be left alone in my foyer with James.

"Alice! I haven't seen you in forever!" I could feel his gaze burning into my back and I hugged my sister-in-law with every fiber of force I could muster. "Lunch actually sounds great. James was just about to leave so it's perfect. I could use some fresh air, and maybe if you behave yourself I could use some girl time at the mall." I would agree to a makeover and a full body wax if it meant getting away from him.

"Really!" Excellent she had now just entered into screeching and excited Alice loud. Now if we could get out of here in one piece, I would feel a lot better.

"Yeah, and in fact I skipped breakfast so I am ready to go now." It took everything I had in me to turn and address the man who raped me and took everything from me.

"James, if you will excuse us we have some girl time we need to catch up on." The fire was evident behind his eyes the wheels in his brain were working feverishly, trying to salvage his plan I'm sure, without involving anyone else.

"Yes, of course. I'll see you around Bella. I'll be in Seattle until my business here is finished." With that fact alone, I wanted to jump on the first plane to Timbuktu and never look back ever. Alice bounced to the door as he leaned in closer to my ear. "You will pay for this little stunt today. Don't you fret, Bella. I can be a very patient man. I've waited a year, I can wait a little while longer to have you beneath me once again." Without any outward sign of what he just said to me, he stood straight again, walked out my front door and onto the porch.

It took everything to get my body to move to myself to do something. I had to remain composed, no matter how much I wanted to turn and run crying and screaming for my life. I instead walked brusquely to catch up with Alice out on the front porch. There was no way I was ever willingly coming back to this house alone. Not with James now back in Seattle.

James followed us out and threw one last glare at me over his shoulder as he passed us to walk down the driveway. Alice and I hopped in her bright yellow little car as James walked past down the street a little ways and climbed in a pristine black expensive looking SUV.

I hadn't realized I had been shaking until Alice reached over and steadied my hands. She looked worried. Hell, I would be worried about me. These were the kind of reactions my family was always expecting.

"Bella, are you all right? Did James do something? Did he bring up something he shouldn't have? I can't believe he came? He has always freaked me out. I never understood why he and Edward have been inseparable since they first met." She glanced nervously at me, as if I didn't completely agree. How could James not give everyone the creeps? "Well… I- uh… I'm sure you got used to him. I'm sorry if I offended you. It's just the honest truth, but you know-"

"Alice! Stop it. James is creepy. I just still don't like being around men. He rattled me a little bit when he showed up. That's all. I'm sorry for making you worry. However, you my dear, couldn't have had better timing even if I had planned this myself. Not only did you save the damsel in distress, but also you are taking me to get some real food; a true knightess in shining armor, my sister." I attempted to keep my voice happy sounding. I didn't need her finding the truth hidden beneath my kidding words.

Thankfully, she chuckled a few seconds before switching on her iPod and continuing on the way to the little café she had said was divine and out of this world. Quite frankly, I was still a little apprehensive, but right now I knew I was safe. James was presently occupied with how to get me alone in my house. Not out in public with my sister-in-law. I just hoped I could keep myself together for a few more hours.

"What would you two ladies like to order this afternoon? Our soup, salad or sandwich plates are really great." Thank the gods, our waitress was a woman. I had no idea what I wanted and I hadn't been able to tear my eyes from the large window facing the street long enough to concentrate on the menu.

"I'll have the Asian salad with the fat free dressing and the garden vegetable soup."

"And what can I get for you miss?"

Oh, crap umm… I couldn't very well say I had to utter clue. "I'll just have the same. Thanks."

I got a look from Alice that told me she knew I hated anything Asian and vegetable soup. Thankfully, she didn't say anything. She was probably just glad I agreed to leave the house for the first time in weeks. Little did she know the reason for this afternoon's excursion.

"So… Bella, what have you been doing lately?" Okay, I could work with this. At least she wasn't one of the insane people to actually ask how I was doing.

"I've been working a lot on my new book actually. That has been keeping me really busy. My publisher is very happy with what I have been able to put out so far." Please, don't ask me anything more personal. I really would hate to lie to you and say I have been doing ducky when really I haven't gotten a full night's rest or eaten an actual meal since Edward left.

"Oh, that's so exciting! I loved your previous books! They were so romantic and perfect. What are you writing about… if you don't mind me asking? I know for your first book Edward didn't even know what you were writing about." It was so good to hear her laugh. I have found I particularly enjoy the sound since I haven't been able to manage it in so long.

"No, not at all. It's about a young woman who is forced into a line of work that is somewhat less than reputable after her husband disappears without a single trace. After months of searching she literally has no choice, but to move on in every sense of the word. She is alone and feels helpless, and must learn to deal with things that she never had to before." I was actually very pleased with how my plot line and story development was turning out. I was too busy giving myself a little pat on the back to notice the horrified expression on Alice's face.

"Bella, that is so sad! I-I…" I cracked a smile at her reaction. I'm sure Edward would have a similar one if he knew the themes running through my head all day. "Bella I can't tell you how sorry I am that this… awful thing that happened has influenced your writing like this.

"Well, I have always written what I feel…" I couldn't finish it. I didn't want to finish it. If I finished that sentence, I would be forced to face the ugly truth that is now my life. My life isn't light or happy or a love story anymore. How could I write about something I couldn't even remember feeling anymore?

"Oh." I could tell she felt bad about even asking. It was sort of obvious now that she knew. For now I just wanted to change the subject, and the arrival of the waitress with out lunch accomplished just that with no assistence from me.

Alice had been right. I still don't like Asian salad or garden vegetable soup. I picked and pushed and forced myself to swallow about half of it before I gave up and just said I was done.

"So what stores do you want to hit? I was thinking we could both just go to the mall and have a choice of anything. Or, if you had something particular in mind we could head to a specialty boutique. What do you think?" Oh Alice, I don't give a damn where we go just as long as I don't go home just yet. Which reminds me, I am going to have to broach that subject sooner or later. Either I am going to have to stay with someone or Edward is going to have to move back in. At present, I don't think I am ready for the latter.

"It doesn't matter to me Alice. I just wanted an outing with you. I knew you could never pass up the opportunity to shop. So wherever you want to go is fine." She looked too much in thought to be thinking about just shopping. Even for Alice, she was definitely thinking about something deep. I just hope it's not me.

"Bella, you have been distracted all through lunch. What's the matter? Was it James? Talk to me. You know we are all worried about you." Yup, it was about me. She paused as if debating on what to tell me. "Bella, did you know Edward has been completely depressed ever since he moved out. The first week he checked into a hotel and didn't do anything! Bella he drank himself through the full contents of the mini bar. Several times it seemed by the looks of him. Thankfully, he had the sense to not go into work that week. He most likely couldn't have even made it out of the building. We finally found him by the end of that week, and mom and dad took him in. That went over like a lead balloon… you know how mom can be... so he has since moved to Emmett and Rose's place. They called me over today to get him off the couch in Emmett's den after a week of not moving. Bella he's not coping well… at all."

I had no idea any of that had been going on. Here I figured he was fine. I knew he would worry, but I had no idea he would do anything like what Alice had just described. My head was still reeling from all this new information. This was something I wasn't at all prepared for. Edward had never been much of a drinker. He might have one beer while over with the guys or a glass of wine occasionally at dinner, but nothing more. I was glad he had family to take care of him, but it tore me up inside to know I was the cause for all this.

"Alice I-I…" Tears began to pool at the corners of my eyes. There was a flood coming and I knew I wouldn't be able to stop, no matter how many patrons were looking at me.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry, it all just came out. I shouldn't have told you that. Not here and not now." I didn't like what I was putting Alice through with just one damn lunch date. How was I ever going to do normal things? "Come on let me take you home."

"NO!" I know everyone in the restaurant turned to look at us. Alice calmly just laid money on the table to cover our bill and tip and ushered me out to her car.

"Bella?" I didn't answer. I didn't know what I was going to tell her yet. "Bella, why don't you want to go back to your house honey?"

"I-umm… I'm too alone there. I don't want to be alone anymore." Inspired, Alice got all excited and went to butt in before I was ready. "No Ali, I'm not ready for Edward to be with me again. I feel terrible for putting him through all that he has been dealing with, but I just can't. I can't deal with him looking at me as if I am going to shatter into a thousand pieces all the time. I'm not ready to face him just yet. I can't look into those green eyes and see the eyes he had given to our daughter. I can't watch him run his fingers through his hair every ten seconds and wonder if our son would have picked up the same habit." I put my head in my hands feeling utterly spent.

"Do you want to stay with Jasper and I? We have a spare room." No matter how nice that sounded, I couldn't do it. I needed to be home. I need to go back home. Home to Forks. I need my Dad.

"I'll stay until I can call and tell my Dad I'm coming. I won't need to pack; I have clothes there. I just need to get away from here." I hoped to God that Alice would understand or at least just let me do this my own way.

She just nodded and started up her car, and pulled out onto the road heading toward her house. Some new pop song filled the silence so as to not make it any more unsettling. I had been sitting on their couch in their family room for more than an hour before Alice had finally had it with me not speaking.

"Bella." Was there such a thing as an evil pixie? I don't remember fire coming out of little Tinker Bell's eyes. I wasn't getting out of this. Jasper wasn't even home for me to run and hide behind. "I know you are not going to like what I have to say, but..."

"Then don't say it." Oh. My. God. That glare would make The Terminator shut up.

"I have to say this Bella. I can stand by and watch you for only so long. I know what happened to you was awful and horrible, and I want to just rip limb from limb the sick bastard that did that to you and to Edward, but I can't. Those idiot police officers don't even have a clue as to who did this. I don't know how there can just be nothing to go on. But, Bella, I can't just sit by and watch you not get any better. I know you went to therapy and sat and talked about how you feel, but obviously it didn't help. Okay, well it did a little. You came outside today. You talk to us using more than one word answers, but you are still not the Isabella whom we have loved since the moment we met in high school. We would clearly expect what happened to you to change you, but Bella you have literally closed in on yourself. Okay, and this is the part you might just hate me for. Edward didn't want me to ask you, but I have to, I love you to much not to."

She took a deep cleansing breath before continuing. I think the first one since starting her little rant before continuing. "Bella, I think you should talk to Rosalie."

Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting this sooner or later. Quite frankly, I had been expecting this a year ago. "Alice… I don't know. I know Rose is a professional, but Rose is also family. I don't know how I feel about telling a family member what happened to me. Alice I have known Rosalie longer than I have known any of you."

"Thus, she knows you better than anyone. There is more than that, Bella. Yes, Rose is a psychologist, but Rose is also a rape victim. You two share more in common than anyone. Rose knows the devastation of being told she can't have children. Bella, I think you should at least consider it. I think you should give Rose a chance. Have lunch together before you leave for Forks. Maybe you would feel better talking over the phone or e-mail, or hell, text each other if it means you will laugh and smile again! Bella, we just want you happy again."

I knew she meant it. Every word I knew came from her heart. They all wanted me to be me again. I knew it was the very least I could do to try.

"You're right Alice. I'll talk to Rosalie."

A/N: Whew! Done! YAY! Wow. I hope you liked this. There is definitely more of this to come. I can't wait!

I want to thank my Beta team: Saccharine Sin, Songster, and Danna0724 the newest member and total Idea Goddess. You guys are the best.

Danna, you my dear, have taken this story to a whole new level for me. Readers: you WILL be completely blown away by this plot because of this woman! I promise you.

Side Note: Okay so I have gotten a few people asking me why this story is titled Tortured Sole. Well, let me explain it to you all. I am smart enough to know the difference between Soul and Sole. It is suppose to be a play on words. She is a soul is all alone or at least thinks she is all alone… this sole. Does that answer everyone's questions regarding my title? I hope so.

I am very pleased with how this turned out, now it's your turn to let me know what you all thought.

Go ahead send me a lovely little review!

~Jessi

A/N #2 (danna0724): yup yup, I had given ideas, and at this point I beta'd…You know you are loving it so far!! Tell me about it… down below, press that button and tell Jessi she's brilliant, b/c I don't think she believes me sometimes!!