Sleep In Sunlight

Chapter 7

World Of Chances

Previously:

"Well, basically my brain wouldn't be able to handle it and I would just all together stop working. Burn out like a light bulb pretty much." "You'd die." Naruto nodded and continued looking out the window. Sasuke sat back into the chair feeling the soft cushion flatten under him. "What about the surgery? Wouldn't it be better than just sitting here and waiting for your brain to shut down." "No." "Do you want to die, Naruto?" Sasuke shouted. The blonde whipped his head around and glared at Sasuke. "No! Of course I don't!" The blonde's voice cracked slightly. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have a timer on your life? Everyday, I wake up knowing I could die any second!" Tears lined the rim of his eyes. "It scares the hell out of me, Sasuke! Everything does. I have to try like hell to remember something that happened two seconds ago. Everything is being eaten away and I can't do anything to stop it. And the surgery! God, that surgery has a ninety percent chance of killing me, Sasuke. I don't want the last thing I ever see to be doctors hovering over me, ready to rip my skull open. Do you get it now, Sasuke? It all just scares me." -

'Would it make a difference?' Naruto sat alone in his room. The faulty florescent light flickered above his head. He wondered, long after Sasuke had left, if going through with the surgery would make a difference. He didn't understand exactly how bad his condition was. He never wanted to really pay attention to the doctors when they rambled on. All he knew was that he now had two tumors feasting on his brain, and he was sitting between life and death.

If he did have the surgery, what would it be like afterwords? There was no possible way he would go back to normal. No, there was too much damage done already. He was sure he wouldn't get his memory back. There was no way he would be able to walk freely without losing control of his legs and falling flat on his ass. It had been this way for so long, he just couldn't see past the difficulties.

He was confused. He never heard anything good about the surgery, other than it would get most of the growth out. They would crack open his skull and, with inhuman precision, cut his brain and clean him out. It was scary to think about how he could die right there on the table. Some idiot could sneeze and the surgeon would jerk the knife into the deep tissue and kill him. That is not how he wanted to die.

He didn't care if he suffered from memory loss, and it was dangerous for him to be out of his wheelchair. All he wanted was to die in peace. Have a smile on his face as his eyes fluttered closed for the eternal rest. No pain.

He wanted his funeral to be somewhat of a celebration for what few years he had lived. Not all sad and mopey where everyone wore black and cried over big plates of casseroles and store bought cookies. They would definitely not play sappy music either. He wanted real music. His favorite music.

White roses. He wanted to have his casket topped with a bunch of white roses. He knew they were expensive, but it was just a thought. He wanted to look nice, too. He remembered when his great aunt had died and they caked her face with blue eyeshadow and ruby red lipstick. Half the people there whispered and snickered at her looking like a clown. He didn't want to be snickered at.

Of course, he was sure that they weren't going to put blue eyeshadow on him, but he still didn't want to be painted to tan or too pale.

He was going to attend. He wasn't quite sure how the afterlife worked, but he wanted to be there for his funeral. He wanted to see who came. Give a last unfelt hug and kiss to his family that he hasn't seen for a while. Whisper unheard thank yous into the ears of the people brave enough to get up and say a few words on his behalf. Then, when it was all over and done with, he would make his departure. Walk into the light, the shimmering gates, the dark hole, a new reincarnated life, whatever there was waiting for him. He would go.

It sickened him sometimes. He had it all planed, right down to his very departure from the earth's living crust. He was only fifteen. Fifteen year old's normally think they'll live forever, but here he was, planning every little detail. It was sick... but necessary.

"Naruto." There was a knock at the door that startled him out of his thoughts. Shizune walked in, pulling her food cart along with her. "I have your dinner. Does chicken sound good?" The blonde smiled brightly. "Yeah! I'm starving!" He pulled his standing table around and watched as the raven haired nurse placed the large green container down on the table. She pulled off the lid and his mouth watered at the smells that came exploding out.

"And I snuck a little something for desert." She winked and pulled a small paper plate with a large piece of chocolate cake from the bottom shelf of her cart. "Thanks!" He tried hard to push that smile, but it fell.

Shizune noticed the troubled look on the boy's face and frowned. "Sweetie, are you alright?" He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... a little scared." She nodded reassuringly and placed a hand over his. "I know... but being scared is normal... you're gonna be ok." Wouldn't it be just fabulous if that was true?

Sasuke stared down at the greasy pizza that sat in front of him. He could feel his brother's eyes on him. "I'm assuming you went to see Naruto today." Itachi spoke knowingly as he took a bite of his piece of pizza. Sasuke picked up his slice and stuffed a big bite into his mouth. He nodded. "How'd it go?" Sasuke chewed fiercely. The tone in Itachi's voice made Sasuke feel as though he was being mocked. Like Itachi knew what Naruto had told him and was just itching to say 'I told you so'.

"It was alright. We hung out for a little while. Talked." Itachi nodded. They continued to eat in silence, each occasionally glaring at the other for their own reasons.

When they finished, they both sat there waiting for the other to say something. Anything. "Can I go back again?" The younger Uchiha looked up at his brother. The older raven sighed and placed his chin atop his folded hands. "I still don't think it's a good idea." Sasuke was about to protest but his brother stopped him. "But... I can't stop you from sneaking out or running off like you did today. I know you like this boy, and it's obvious that he has done something to you."

It was difficult for the young raven to understand what his brother was talking about. He didn't notice any change. The only change he knew of was the one where he went from being a total dick to Naruto to now, where he was at the very least decent towards the blonde. He mentally shrugged. He doesn't pay attention to how he acts. Maybe there was a shift.

Yes, he liked Naruto. He was nice, and caring. Always tried to look on the bright side of things. Took the bad things with the slightest hint of a smile. Sasuke found him interesting to talk to. He could hold a good conversation. He felt that he could be open and honest about anything, and Naruto wouldn't laugh or call him an idiot like his friends from school do now.

Naruto was his friend. They only knew each other for a few days, but he felt a connection, as corny as it may sound. He wondered if Naruto felt the same way. If he thought they had become friends in the short days they knew each other. There was a very miniscule thought that drifted past his already confused mind that said they were to explore the depths of 'like' and find love buried under all the problems they were facing.

It was stupid and idiotic. Impossible, really. He blamed the thought on the fact that he knew Naruto could disappear any moment. A childish longing that resembled the one he held for his parents long after they died in that hospital. There was no true feeling. They were just friends.

Sasuke smiled and stood up to place his plate in the sink. Without saying a word he left the kitchen and went to his room. He fell onto his bed and stared at the inside of his eyelids. He felt angry, still over the conversation that he and Naruto had had earlier that day. He could understand why Naruto didn't want the surgery. Naruto said he didn't want the last thing he saw to be doctors standing around him preparing to rip open his skull.

He assumed that, since Naruto has been facing such decisions and continuous words of death, the blonde must have thought about it. Thought of how he wanted to die. What it would be like on the other side. It made him sad to think that someone younger than him would have to think about things like that.

He couldn't imagine what it must be like to know that you could die any second. Well... yes he could. Couldn't everyone? Anyone could die at any time. He could die right now in some accidental nuclear bomb launch that just happened to target his house. It seemed like it was the same thing. He could only see one difference.

Pain. Naruto had a constant reminder of what was to come. He had to suffer the headaches, the sudden slips into unconsciousness, forgetting stuff, and the emotional tole it took on him. The blonde had it hanging over his head, staring him in the eye. That was the difference.

Sasuke could never understand.

- THE NEXT DAY...

Naruto sat in his wheelchair staring out the window. It was early afternoon and the sun seemed to greet him in the most beautiful ways. The warmth came through the window and graced his face with its loving glow. He smiled when he looked down at the garden. The sun was feeding the flowers making them sing his name as they boomed with enhance color.

He wanted to go down there and sit in the bed of sunlight and soak up all the rays the ball of fire had to offer. It made him happy to sit out there. He would watch the petals dance as the breeze whispered its nonsense into his ears. He felt a lone tear push its way from his socket and pour down his cheeks. It made him happy. He wanted to be there. Live there. Die there.

"Hey." Naruto quickly wiped his tears and spun around in his chair to meet the owner of the now unforgettable voice. "Hey Sasuke!" He cheered and rolled over to where the raven took his seat in the chair near the bed. "Are you feeling better today?" Sasuke asked, gesturing to the fresh bandage on the blonde's head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just a headache now." He smiled and nodded reassuringly. Sasuke looked around the room, not really wanting to look into the blonde's eyes, knowing he would see the nervousness that was hidden there. "So what are we doing today?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto thought for a second. More than anything he wanted to go down to the garden and enjoy the day, but Shizune would get pissed, especially today. "Let's play Go-Fish." He giggled at the face Sasuke made. The raven sighed. "Alright." The smiling blonde rolled over to the shelf and pulled a worn out deck of cards.

Sasuke shuffled them and gave ten to Naruto and himself. "Ok, you got any sevens?" He asked once he got them all situated in his hand. He looked up at the blonde when he didn't answer. He saw those blue eyes move over the cards multiple times, before they looked up at him. "I don't think there are any elevens in a deck of cards."

Sasuke smirked. "I said seven, dobe." Naruto pursed his lips in thought and slammed the cards down on the table. "I don't want to play anymore."

"We haven't even played yet." The raven looked over Naruto's features. He seemed different today. His eyes were hollowed out, not sparkling with the sheer enjoyment of what moments he had. "Are you ok?" Naruto stared into Sasuke eyes. He didn't know what to say. How could he tell Sasuke, his only friend, that he might lose his life before the sun sets today.

"I'm fine. I just really wanted to go out in the garden today." Sasuke nodded. "Well, let's go. It's a nice day out and everything." The blonde shook his head. "Can't. I can't go anywhere today."

"Hn. Why not?" The raven shifted in his chair. "I'm doing it." He huffed out bluntly. "I talked to the doctor this morning and I told them I wanted to do the surgery. I go in at six."

"Huh?" Was all that Sasuke could spit out. He was kind of happy that he was hearing this, but at the same time he was a bit shocked. He didn't think Naruto was the kind of person to change his mind so suddenly, and the fact that the surgery was taking place in just a few hours was a little scary.

"Th-That's great..." He stuttered, suddenly feeling somewhat awkward. "What made you change your mind?"

"You."

OoOoO

Sorry to stop there. Next chapter will be better. I swear.

Thanks for reading.