I Know You Can Feel This Too

A/N: Okay... let's start to repair things... sort of... nearly!

Chapter 11 – Revelations… almost

Gibbs spent a restless night, brooding on everything and woke with a hangover, but with a determination that the only way he was going to tackle this mess was to talk to Abby.

When he strode into the bullpen the next morning, coffee and Caf!Pow in hand, his team were already at their desks. After dumping his coat at his desk, he started for the elevator, only to be stopped in his tracks by McGee's voice.

"Er, boss, Abby's not there. She's in MTAC. I think she's sitting in to consult on some evidence for a case for the LA team." McGee's voice faltered as Gibbs turned to glare at him. "She said she might be there for a couple of hours."

He watched his boss return to his desk, slamming the drinks down.

Feeling that events were also now conspiring against him to prevent him fixing his screw-up, Gibbs tried to concentrate on paperwork for the rest of the morning. The atmosphere in the bullpen was as tense as yesterday. Ducky wasn't in today which in a way was a relief as he knew the ME would also kick his ass.

When Abby emerged from MTAC later that morning, Gibbs watched as she hurried towards the elevator, avoiding looking down into the bullpen. He gave her some time to get settled but when he eventually couldn't concentrate any more, Gibbs headed downstairs, impatient to see Abby and feeling ridiculously nervous.

There were also some low priority results he needed to pick up which would at least give him an excuse for going down to her lab. If he simply turned up, he suspected Abby might just throw him out as she'd done yesterday, not that he'd blame her if she did.

He hated how Abby looked at him almost with dread as he entered her lab.

After she'd outlined the test results he wanted, keeping her head down and her voice subdued, Gibbs lingered, unsure where to start.

The tension in the room put her on edge, knotting her stomach and making her shoulders ache. Abby fidgeted nervously, just wanting to get back to work. When he didn't say anything, she eventually asked him, "Something else you need, Gibbs?"

"No, I just..." he began, before trailing off, running a hand through his hair and starting to pace.

Everything he'd carefully rehearsed in his car on the way in fled from his mind as Gibbs took in the shadows under her eyes, her slumped shoulders and dull eyes, feeling even more ashamed of himself that he was the cause of taking away the vibrancy that was so much a part of this lovely woman.

Abby watched him pace for a few moments before she could stand it no longer and folded her arms, dropping her gaze from his and biting her lip. "What is it, Gibbs? Look, I'm really very tired. Can we just call it a truce until after this evening's dinner and then... well, I don't know what then, but I just can't cope with any more right now and I don't want to fight with you all over again."

Abby felt exhausted after yesterday. She'd spend the evening drowning her misery in wine and ice cream and had not slept well.

"Abbs..."

She looked up at the tentative tone of his voice and was startled to see Gibbs clench his hand into a fist and rub a slow circle in the centre of his chest, forming the ASL sign for Sorry.

Wow, breaking Rule 6 as well Rule 13... must be a record.

"Shouldn't have said what I did, Abbs... especially about your work."

He just wanted to pull her into his arms and hug all the hurt away, but knew he didn't have that right any more. He doubted she'd welcome it anyway.

"No, you shouldn't... "

That comment had hurt more than anything else he'd said yesterday. If there was one thing Abby thought inviolate, it was his respect for her skills and professionalism.

"You work harder than any of us, Abbs, and you're nothing but professional in everything you do. I was way outta line." Once he'd got the first admission out, the rest seemed to come more easily. "What I said was… hurtful and not what I really think anyway."

"And I shouldn't have said what I did either." Abby bitterly regretted losing her own temper.

"You had every right, Abbs. I upset you. I was a jackass." he stopped pacing and stepped closer, relieved when she didn't immediately back away.

She was pleased that he was at least talking to her. Gibbs could be uncommunicative and bad tempered for days if he put his mind to it. "It doesn't matter, Gibbs. Let's just forget about it."

"Didn't mean a word of it," he told her, quietly.

One more step and he was within touching distance.

"I know... " Abby looked up at him, wide eyed as she saw his expression soften. "Deep down, I knew you didn't mean it, it was just... a bit of a shock. But I don't hold grudges, you should know that by now. Just tell me one thing."

"Okay," he conceded, cautiously.

"I need to know why you're so angry with me."

She could see the affection and warmth in his eyes today that wasn't there yesterday.

This Gibbs was the one she recognized and loved.

Gibbs sighed. "It's not you I'm angry at, Abbs." The hurt and puzzlement in her eyes was breaking his heart.

"Well, it sure felt like it, not just yesterday but all week," she pointed out, firmly. She was determined to get some kind of explanation out of him.

"Shouldn't have taken it out on ya. It's me I'm pissed at, and Fornell," Gibbs confessed, not sure how he was going to articulate what he really felt.

They needed to move on from here, but he wanted to know what Fornell meant to Abby, and he was sure Allison Hart's name would crop up in the conversation before too long.

"Why?" persisted Abby.

He took a deep breath. "Coz whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is you and Fornell."

He reached out his hand to gently stroke her cheek, relieved when she didn't pull away from him but sighed and leaned into his touch.

Feeling her pulse racing, trying to control her reaction to just a simple caress, she countered, softly. "And all I can see is you and M. Allison Hart."

"We're not together... not like ya think," he told her.

Gibbs wasn't sure she'd accept what he was doing even if he told her what he was up to with the lawyer.

It was the main reason he'd held back from telling her in the first place, as well as needing to protect Abby and, above all, not draw attention to her. That and Rule 4... the best way to keep a secret is to tell no one. But he realized now that he had to tell her something... sensing it was a deal breaker if he didn't.

Pushing down the flutter of excitement that his words triggered, Abby replied. "It sure looks like you're involved with her, Gibbs."

"It's not what it looks like, Abbs." He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers, his large hand swamping her slender one. "I can't tell ya what's going on, not yet. You'll just have to trust me, Abby."

"I do trust you, but sometimes I don't think you trust me." She looked down at their joined hands, feeling a tingle go through her at the contact.

"I do... " He ran a finger gently down her jawline and tilted her chin up. "Just trying to protect you. Trust me... please."

She smiled, shaking her head ruefully. She never could resist it when Gibbs said please.

"Okay, I'll trust that you know what you're doing, and that there's a good reason for getting involved with her but you've got to realize, Gibbs, that I don't share."

"Neither do I. What about you and Tobias?" he demanded.

The look he threw her made her breath hitch in her throat. She thought she'd imagined it for a moment, desire combined with... jealousy?

"I'm fond of Toby but I don't consider that I'm going out out with him," she told him.

So did that mean he'd misread the whole thing? That he'd jumped to the wrong conclusions?

He had to push a bit more before he was sure. "He taking you to the dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, he is," she confirmed. "He asked me to go with him last week and I wanted to go, and I'm not letting him down now. But he's just a friend, really. And anyway, we've hardly been talking lately and I figured you'd be taking her to the dance if you were gonna take anyone."

Abby squared her shoulders, determined that she was not going to sound apologetic, she had no reason to in her eyes. "Look, I don't want to argue with you about this again, Gibbs, but I won't apologise for being friends with Toby and enjoying his company. Besides, for the last few weeks I thought you were with Ms. Hart, and do you know how much that hurt me?" she finished quietly.

"Beginning to," he acknowledged, fingers ghosting over her cheek gently.

"I'm not a mind reader, Gibbs, and I'm so tired of these mixed signals you send my way." She nuzzled into his hand, feeling her pulse pounding at how good he felt against her skin.

"Still trying to work it out, Abbs... work us out."

This was the closest they'd been in days and he'd missed it... missed her and everything about her.

"We've had years to work us out, Gibbs..." she reminded him, wryly.

Drawing in a deep breath, she gathered her courage in both hands and she stepped closer, gesturing between them. "I know you can feel this too."

This. Whatever this was.

This chemistry they had... this electricity… this heat... whatever the hell it was that sparked like an electric charge whenever they were in the same room, or stood close. This connection neither had explored or acknowledged with each other, but only to themselves late at night in the dark... alone and lonely.

"Oh, yeah, I can feel it." His voice was low and husky, his blue eyes intense.

She felt her insides flip at the heat and desire in his expression. "Then you need to decide what you want, Gibbs.

They stared at one another and Gibbs opened his mouth to reply but Balboa chose that moment to enter her lab, breaking the moment.

As Gibbs backed away, she signed Talk later and he nodded, giving her a brief smile before leaving.

TBC

A/N: Oops, did I leave it there?