Seven Maniacal Things James Potter does to Maintain his Quidditch Standard

Written by Lily and Marlene

Confirmed by Remus

Foreword(s):

I, Lily Evans, although am in approval of the eye-candy that the 'fit' variety of the male species provides, particularly those who play sport such as Quidditch, do not think exercise should not be James Potter's top priority. I was thinking more along the lines of study.

I, Marlene, was thinking more along the lines of sleep, he's one of last to leave the common room every night and then he's one of the first up – when does that boy sleep?

That's one of the points, so we shall get started?

Do we know enough to get all this right?

We can run it by Remus after, I have a free period with him next.

Workout #1: Pushups

He does twenty-five push-ups every morning at seven, then twenty-five at night at seven. That's 50 in total. He even will disrupt a tutoring session, or stop mid-detention and although it's funny – one minute he's sitting at the desk, then his watch alarm goes off and he hits the floor – it's disrupting, particularly if he's in the middle of something.

I've got cross with him before and sat on his shoulders to make it harder for him, but it makes no difference.

You've sat on his shoulders while he does them?

Err, it's routine now, stop mid-study and go for a 'Potter Push-Up Ride'... What? It's fun, like a bucking bronco, and it's always good to stop for a break in the study, I only do it cause… he… um…

Would you like a shovel?

Shut up.

Workout #2: Running

Potter only ever walks on patrols, he runs everywhere else. That or power walks. The power walks I can't bloody keep up with, always in a hurry, always needing to be somewhere. The thing that I don't understand is why he insists on going out for runs voluntarily.

He'll do a lap of the Quidditch Pitch before training, he'll do a lap of the school before classes, he'll do a lap of the lake (sometimes swim it if it's too hot) if he's visiting Hagrid. I know he and the boys go out for a night run once a month and sometimes he'll go for a run for the sake of it.

I've been out with him, twice. Once to go to Hagrids, the other was because I was trying to loose a bit of pudge, but never again because I'll be completely stuffed by the end of it and he's just breathing slightly heavier, it's embarrassing that I'm so unfit compared to him, I've been having to exercise in private to be able to fit enough to keep up with his power-walking.

It's so hilarious watching you try pushups.

Shut up.

Workout #3: Eating

James eats so much, but that's because he exercises so much. He wouldn't have to consume so much if he quit with half his daily exercise. I mean James said jokingly to me the other day, whilst he was stuffing his third helpings of treacle in his face, that he would need to do an extra lap around the Quidditch pitch to maintain his abs, pfft, as if. That toned well built brickhouse isn't crumbling just yet.

Brickhouse?

Shut up.

Workout #4: Sleeping

In answer to your query before, James sleeps, but in the strangest of places at the strangest of times. Last year I can remember him being one of the last to bed, but then he was one of the few that only just managed to get to class because he overslept. This year, his body clock is out of whack and it affects him too.

12-midnight is the earliest he will go to bed, 3.30am is the latest. He will be up about 7ish, but he has been known to get up at 5am to cram for last minute homework. He suffers during class. I have to keep nudging him in potions and in Transfiguration he's just gone, head on desk, dead asleep. Problem is McGonagall ignores him because he's well and truly ahead, but that's because he crams at 5 in the morning.

He needs to find balance – get a full night's sleep. Then he won't feel sluggish when he plays Quidditch. The boy thinks he's unfit and it's only because he's not getting enough sleep. I need to get that boy into bed.

I'll mind your celibacy ring then?

That's not what I meant! Shut up!

Workout #5: Skill Training

I, Mary, would like to input what I have witnessed at certain points just before Quidditch practise, Potter is out on the field practising little things like ball skills, movement skills, and even things like say a circus performer would do.

I, Lily, would not object to the idea that James Potter is a clown in disguise. All he needs is baggy pants, but I prefer his training uniform and how it hugs his…

… Not a word from you, shut up!

Workout #6: Seeker Training

After training, after he's sure his team's all gone and people have left, he will release the snitch, give it ten minutes to get lost and then he becomes the broom and becomes a blur as he whips around the entire stadium, seeing how fast he can find it and catch it.

Sometimes it's within seconds, but never more than five minutes, but it's always spectacular. He does Wronski Feints for no reason, it's intense, and I'm always afraid he's going to break his neck.

How d'you know this?

Uh, no reason.

You're spying on him, aren't you?

Shut up.

Workout #7: Team Training

I, Mary, as a part of the team, think Potter is the best and most brilliant captain.

And I, Lily, on behalf of the Gryffindor spectators, agree.

It's just that training is freaking killing me! I don't understand why he isn't keeling over either with all the excess stuff he does. But honestly, he expects everyone to be fit and focused, but when you've been at classes all day, overworked, tired and ate too much before coming out, and expected to fly like you're at the finals every single training…

Mary, before you go too far and start rambling in my precious book, may I just remind you; since Potter took over captaincy we have lost, how many games?

… Shut up

HA!

I, Remus, confirm that everything on this list is true, and I would like to agree with Mary that James over-trains everyone; I have to listen to a whinging Sirius every week – not pleasant. And James is equally, if not more, exhausted when he comes in not long after but instead of sleeping, like the fore-mentioned whinger, he sits up and does as much homework as he can – I think his grades are starting to slip, he doesn't show off his scores anymore like he used to (trust me, it's very unusual) and he snaps at any of us if we tell him 'get rest'. Peter, Sirius and I are considering jinxing him so his eyelids will glue themselves shut, confiscate his coffee and chocolate, maybe charm his blankets to tie him down so we can strip him naked and dye him red and gold…erm, sorry, didn't mean to write that… Sirius' idea, yeah?

I don't care, do it.

A/N:

Dooooooo eeeeeet!

I'm sorry this was so late. Writer's block combined with getting a job and rl getting in the way isn't a good combination.

Next chappy will be up next week :D And it shall be fluffy, I promise 3