Oh, I do this periodically for those of you who aren't used to my wacky writing style. This is me shamelessly promoting the song that I've included in this chapter. If you're interested, listen to the whole song, but I'm telling you right now this is word-for-word my opinion of Annie's relationship with Ben (or any relationship that involves one side repeatedly getting the raw end of the deal). I actually had some difficulty just picking out one section of lyrics, when really I could pick any line and it would still apply.

Plus, it's an awesome song. ;)

$4$

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone

- "Addicted," by Kelly Clarkson

"Annie, I'm sorry, I never meant—"

"To lie to me? To hide everything from me? To use me to get information out of my superiors?"

"…Yes, but I never meant to—by the time I got to know you, I didn't want to hurt y—"

"Oh, save it, Ben," she snarled, shoving his hands off her shoulders. "It doesn't matter what you want anymore. Which is a shame, because any opportunity you might've had to get information out of me went out the window approximately fifteen minutes ago."

"Annie, you're not being fair," he began again, and stepped closer to her. Her palm itched for her to slap him, but she wasn't going to stoop to his level.

"You know what? I'm done being fair," she growled. "You lied to me. You're CIA. For all I know, Ben Mercer isn't even your real name. Whoever you are, get the fuck out of my face. Now."

"Annie, you can't do this. You're in danger—"

"Yeah, yeah, so I've heard," she replied flippantly, stepping around him. "But I'm not alone. I'm a member of the FBI. I don't need some lying spook to protect me from the big bag monsters."

Ben turned around to face her, his face a mask of impatience and anger. "You're being a child."

"I'll live."

After several tense seconds, he stormed out the door. Barely a second later, explosions sounded, and the rage pumping through her veins was replaced with something different—fear.

She took off running, ducking behind her couch moments before the door exploded open. Her eyes were squeezed tight, and she tried not to breathe in the noxious fumes—someone had let off a smoke bomb.

"Annie!"

She looked up, eyes doubling. Auggie? What was he doing here? "Annie, take my hand!"

She did, and he propelled her forward, just narrowly missing as another bomb—no, not bomb, just a bigass semi-automatic—turned her brand new couch into wood shavings. She tried to cover her face and head as much as she could, but it didn't matter. There were more gunshots, and suddenly her side was on fire and she was falling to the ground.

He stayed with her, ignoring the chaos, his hand cupping the side of her face. "You're going to be okay, Annie. They're coming, you're going to be okay…"

Annie shot upright in bed, drenched in sweat, her body tangled up in damp bedding. She ran her fingers through her hair, ignoring how all her limbs were shaking and her heart was going a mile a minute. She needed to calm down, regulate her breathing, and then she could go back to sleep.

She hazarded a glance at the clock. Barely an hour left before she had to get up and go to work. Hardly enough time to warrant going back to sleep.

But that meant she would've only gotten three hours of sleep. But then, if she fell back asleep she would risk sleeping deeply, starting up her REM cycle, and having another nightmare.

Yup. Just another morning in Annie's self-made hell.

She frowned, cradling her head in her hands. That was a new twist on the dream, though. Up until tonight, it was always the same—the last fight she had with Ben, the argument about the CIA, him storming out, and then gunfire. In reality, those two events happened separate of one another. Ben left on a Monday, and four and a half days later the Armenian mob swarmed her house with every intention of kidnapping her for leverage against Ben—or, if that didn't work out, just plain old killing her.

Before they could do either, however, the Feds arrived, taking out all of the gunmen. That was the first night she met Rossabi, right after one of the Armenian's bullets had took out a chunk of her waist. It had narrowly missed hitting any organs, but the other Feds had rushed her to the hospital just to be on the safe side. She needed thirteen stitches to patch up her side, and it took several weeks of recovery.

She'd been having that dream at least four or five nights a week since then. It had never changed before, but maybe it never had reason to change until now.

She saw Auggie. He was trying to protect her, pull her out of a dangerous situation. It felt… familiar. Comfortable, even. Like she should trust him, instinctively.

Annie frowned again, shaking her head like she could loosen her thoughts. She was being silly. She didn't know the first thing about Auggie, other than his last name and his job. She had no reason to trust him any more or less than Ben.

"Annie, you're not being fair."

She pulled her legs to her chest, dropping her head on her knees. Her hair, still dark and wet from the shower, tumbled around her shoulders. She was a woman burned, and no amount of hiding or deskwork was going to hide that scar.

Almost unconsciously, her right hand moved down, gently peeling back her heather gray cami and exposing the skin there. It stretched about five inches long and an inch wide, the skin marred and puckered from the sutures. She was scarred, physically and emotionally, and it was no one's fault but herself.

Scars didn't heal—they faded, with time. Years and years from now, the scar on her waist would be invisible. Similarly, the scars on her heart would disappear.

But she didn't have to keep moping to herself. She could take a stand, become even more independent, and move the hell on from Ben.

And then her scars would finally start to fade.

$4$

The ending was a little meh, but I can deal with it. Probably because I don't normally write dreams but this was the best solution for what I was going for. I wasn't sure where I wanted to end it, but finally I worked it out and figured here is better than nothing.

I'm so angsty with this stuff, but at least I got the Ben Thing out of the way. Finally.