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Chapter 3

Pain. More than ones imagination could possibly imagine. There are no words to describe to the one tenth of a degree how much pain was consuming me. All my senses were shot; I had no idea if I was still screaming or if my ramblings were just internal.

It felt like an eternity of pain. At first I reminded myself over and over that it would be three days. Only three days, but I knew that it had been much longer than that, much, much longer. I tried to distract myself, counting the voices I heard, the words, footsteps… anything that could possibly lessen my focus on the pain.

I had finally accepted the fact that the pain would never end. That I was dead. In hell, paying for my sins. What sins I wasn't sure, who could wrong someone enough or committed such crimes against God that they would have to go through this kind of torment as penance? But then it started to subside, gradually. Starting with my fingers and toes.

My heart rate accelerated, a burning hot hand touched my forehead then my hand. Just when I thought that my heart couldn't beat any faster it stopped. My heart stopped? My pain…I don't feel any pain. I opened my eyes. It was dark; the stars were shining through the tree tops. There were more of them then I had ever seen in my life. The forest was alive with activity, so many sounds. I took a deep breath.

Danger!

I jumped up into a crouching position. The burning hot hand held tighter to me, I let out a growl as I focused on the tan man holding me. His eyes were beseeching me, searching my eyes.

"Bells?" I growled louder, "Bells, you have to be in there somewhere. Please!" He looked so sad. I took another breath. Didn't this man know that there was some sort of danger around? That smell!

Whoever this man was I felt like I needed to warn him, like he was important to me. "Jacob?" I whispered.

"Oh Bells! I was so worried! You remember, you're still you!" He moved to hug me and I yanked my hand from his burning hot skin and moved away.

The danger scent was less now that I was away from Jacob. Why would Jacob make me feel that way? I shouldn't feel apprehensive around him. I trusted Jacob, but now. "Jacob, what's going on?" My voice sounded so sweet but my throat burned. I touched my throat with my right hand. Was this what I had heard about? Was I thirsty?

"That…vampire bit you!" He was shaking, what was going on! "You told me you knew what was happening… you're a … one of …them…"

"I thought you didn't believe in… that stuff."

"I do now." He looked into my eyes, sadness filled his face. "You remember how I didn't feel well after the movie?"

I concentrated, thinking through foggy memories. "Yeah, we both got what Mike had."

"No… Remember the ledged I told you about the Cullen's'?" I nodded, "Of course you do," He spat, looking angry again. I couldn't suppress a growl when he started shaking again. "Remember the other part about my tribe being descendants from wolves? Wolf-men?"

"Werewolf." Was it even possible for there to be so many magical creatures in the world! "God Jake! Where are the other mythical creatures at? Is Bigfoot going to walk into the clearing at any moment?"

Jacob sighed, "I know."

"A year ago I didn't know anything about… vampires. And now I'm…. And you're a werewolf! Is that why you stayed away from me? Because I willingly hung around vampires? Was I tainted to you Jake?"

"No! No, Bells! I wanted to go see you! But Sam told me I couldn't, that I was too dangerous to be around you."

"And now? Are you too dangerous now?"

"I think we are both too dangerous for each other." Jake looked so sad. He sighed and looked up at the night sky. "I tried to save you Bells! If I was a few moments earlier… I tried to get the venom out. I tried to suck the bad blood out. But I couldn't, then I tried some natural remedies for poisonous snake and spider bites…" His voice wavered, holding such sorrow in his eyes.

"Thank you…" It was so much new information to process that if I still had my human brain I might have passed out on overload. "Jake how… Why did you save me? Where are we?" Noticing that this is not the meadow I was attacked in.

"Well after you were…bit. I took you to my house while the others took care of that leech to try to stop the venom." Jake took in a breath and sighed. "Sam and the others didn't take to that too well, having a blood…" I wasn't sure what Jake stopped himself from saying but I was sure it had something to do with me now being a vampire. "They thought you were dangerous and wanted to… get… rid of you. I wouldn't let them. I already suspected that it would come to that so I had prepared for a quick escape before the pack showed up," gesturing towards the backpack. "So I took you and ran. Honestly I don't know why they let me go, I mean, there are four of them and I know I didn't outrun them since I was carrying you!" I watched Jake's face, noticing that though he tried to hide it he was hurting. "Somehow I managed to get you here, the Olympic National Forest."

"Thank you, I'm more trouble then I'm worth." I didn't deserve his kindness.

Jake shifted his feet in the grass to face me better. Staring deep into my eyes he gently rubbed my cheek with his right hand and slipped his left hand into my right. "I wish I could stay with you Bells, I had to break off from the pack… before, but I have to go back to my people. I have to…" he tenderly whispered. "If I had told you what I was, if I had figured out a way to tell you! Then you would not have been in the woods and this would never have happened!"

"No, it would have. Laurent said Victoria was already after me. And I suspect she likes to play with her food, just like her dead mate James." I shuddered at the memory of meeting Victoria and the brutality of her mate.

Jake's eyes gleamed with excitement and concern. "The red head? The red head is after you? Why?"

"A mate for a mate." I whispered. I wasn't sure if Jake heard my reply, but his face fell.

"Oh… I didn't know you were… that serious." His voice strained, his body shaking slightly.

"It's not like that, anymore. He's gone. I was only the human toy for the immortal to play with." I gave a small laugh. Was I now the immortal playing with Jake, my human toy? I looked down at our joined hands. He was so warm, it felt so right but now I could never have him. I shifter my eyes back to Jake's.

"He killed the red heads mate?" He stated rather then asked.

"Remember when I went to Phoenix?" he nodded. "I went there to try to escape James, Victoria's mate. It was a game to him, to catch the weak human that seven, strong vampires were protecting. " I took in an unnecessary breath. "He eventually got me alone." I raised our joined hands and rubbed where the crescent shaped scar still remained with my left hand.

I found that I had so much room now that I could think through the new information and realize that I really needed to do something about this…thirst. "Jake, I need to hunt." I whispered. I felt a little embarrassed. Jake's eyes opened wide. "Animal blood. Only animal, Jake."

"Yeah, of course. I tied up some deer over by a lake that's 30 yards north of here." He pointed to his left. "Bells. I have a backpack of extra cloths and things. I wish I could stay with you."

"Oh, Jake. I…I'm sorry, about everything." I hesitated. The realization that this will most likely be the last time I see my best friend hit me hard. I will be alone again.

"Hey," Jake had tears streaming down his face. I had never seen him so vulnerable. "This doesn't have to be 'goodbye.' We can still be friends. In a few years… when your… better. You can come see me. Not on the Rez, but Forks."

"I will. A few years Jake, then… Will you take care of Charlie?" Poor Charlie, what will he think? I haven't been a very good daughter the last few months. I can never see him again.

"Of course. Where will you go Bells?"

Jake's question took me off guard. Where will I go? There is so much I don't know about being a vampire or life in general. Normally a newly awakened vampire has their creator to guide them, but I don't have anyone to help me. I'm alone.

But I didn't have to be. I did know where some vampires lived. Alaska and Italy. There was no way I could make it to Italy, but Alaska, I could do that.

"Alaska. There is a clan in Alaska that are like the Cullen's."

"I wish I could take you there. Oh God Bells, I wish none of this had ever happened! You'll write or call, right? I'd hate to lose you over something so stupid as mortal enemies' nonsense." I heard the small quiver in his voice and notice the slight increase in tears in his eyes.

"This isn't 'goodbye.' We'll see each other soon, one day Jake." How I wish everything could be how it was a few short days ago. If I could cry I would.

The hole in my heart that I had felt since Edward left was nothing compared to this. While he was my whole world, the love of my life I now am dead and everyone I ever knew has been taken from me. I could never return to see my friends or family. While I could get away with keeping in contact with Jake, I'm now immortal and will lose him eventually. The only people I could keep in contact with for eternity from my now gone human life abandon me because of one drop of blood.

"I know Bells. I'll miss you." His voice was so low, human ears wouldn't have picked it up.

I wished that I could hold him and never let go. I wish I could give him everything he ever wanted from me. I wished that I wasn't so broken to reciprocate his feelings when it was possible to do so. I kissed two fingers on my right hand and touched his lips with my fingers where my lips had touched.

Without another moment's hesitation I grabbed the backpack Jake made for me, "Goodbye Jake," and ran.

I ran towards the deer he had acquired. Smelling the blood pushed the unpleasant thoughts of not seeing Jake again away. I wasn't sure how to hunt so I decided to just do what felt right and not over think it. The deer's smelled… good, warm and berry-like. As I ran to the closest one I jumped and bit down on its neck. It screamed and tried to kick me off. I didn't even know that deer's made sounds! The warm blood tasted exquisite down my burning throat. I jumped on the next and then the last. I stood up and was shocked to see the dead animals. I looked down at my clothes, they had blood on them. Three days ago I would have felt woozy, but now it made me… thirsty.

I ran and jumped into the forest lake to rid my clothing of blood. I expected it to be ice cold; instead it was only slightly colder than my new skin. This life was going to take a bit to get used to.

After a few moments of floating in the still lake admiring the millions of stars I took off my shirt and rubbed at the blood that remained. There was just a bit left by the right collar. This must be my own blood. I stood in the waist high water gazing at the last remaining trace of my humanity.

My eyes tingled as my dry sobs took over me. Why did this happen to me? Why? What do I do with myself now? I can never go back to Forks, not at least till everyone who I know is long… gone. And now I was alone. I can't survive alone, I had been alone for the last six months and I only made it for my father and then I was healing and living day by day for Jacob.

Oh Jake! Life has been so cruel. I dry sobbed for an unknown amount of time till I realized the sun was rising. I walked to the shore of the lake intend on wearing blood-free clothes.

Please leave a review, it's the only way I know if I sound like a babling 3 year old or not and motivates me to add chapters (I have several done).

Stories I suggest-

Cullenary Coupling by booksgalore

No Choice by glasscannon- so this story sort of sounds like mine (swear I started writing mine before I read this one) but goes in a totally different direction.