CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Into The Spine

"Somewhere I will find

All the pieces torn apart

You just left behind."

- Mystery of You, Red

It was so quiet that Ashen could hear Murtagh breathing softly in his sleep beside her. Thorn had his wing draped over the pair of them as a kind of tent and Murtagh had given Ashen his cloak to sleep under. Unable to sleep, Ashen rolled over onto her side, leaning on her elbow as she observed the sleeping Rider. Murtagh looked so…well, innocent. When he was asleep, he looked younger than his nineteen years. She fought the strange urge to run her fingers through his dark hair.

Ashen couldn't sleep. She knew the rumours of the Spine just as well as anyone else. Of course, Murtagh feared nothing – the only person more powerful than him was Galbatorix and that was the one person who would not come into the Spine to find them. Sighing heavily, Ashen grabbed Murtagh's cloak and draped it around her shoulders as she rolled out from underneath Thorn's wing.

Out in the open, it was cold and Ashen wrapped the cloak more tightly around herself. She strode a little away from Thorn and Murtagh, but knew it would be stupid to wander too far. She lay down a few metres away, looking up at the stars. She remembered nights like this, what seemed like so long ago. She had done this with countless people – Colton, Tristan, Eragon…even Murtagh one time, just after the battle of Farthen Dur.

No, she wouldn't think about the past. It hurt too much. She had to focus on the present and the future. She swallowed hard, forcing back her tears. Ashen had decided that she wasn't going to cry, not anymore.

"Ashen…"

She sat bolt upright, glancing around her. Thorn's wing still covered a sleeping Murtagh so she did not know who could possibly have said her name, unless she was starting to imagine things. She couldn't help but laugh mirthlessly. It wouldn't exactly surprise her, not after what Zander had put her through…

"Ashen."

The voice was more insistent this time and that was when Ashen saw her brother walking towards her. Not Tristan – Colton. She swallowed hard and knew now that she had gone insane. Colton was dead. He had been for almost a year now. Shaking her head slowly, she took a faltering step backwards as Colton closed the distance between them.

"No…you're not real…"

"That's right," Colton nodded, as if confessing that he was dead was the easiest thing in the world, "But neither am I a figment of your imagination, baby sister. You always wondered what lay within the Spine, what managed to destroy half the king's army. Well, now you know."

He was tall, around the same height as Murtagh. Tristan had always been of smaller stature than his older brother. Ashen glanced at him in askance. He looked like a solid human being to her. If she hadn't known he was dead, she would have believed it.

"What are you?" she whispered, "You're not my brother."

Colton flinched as if she'd hit him. "Not…exactly. We are ghosts, Ashen. You see, when anyone in Alagaesia dies, their soul inexplicably comes to the Spine. Magic is very strong here, so that soul forms an imprint which can only be summoned by those who knew the person."

Ashen frowned. "I…summoned you?"

Colton looked troubled. "It is a bit more complicated than that. Once Galbatorix became king, things changed in the Spine. Now ghosts only appear some of the time – and when they do, it is only the imprint of a person's greatest fear that is conjured. This is why Eragon saw nothing in the Spine…we did not appear to him."

Seeing Colton was both unnerving and comforting. Ashen reached out as if to touch his face and was a little disappointed when her hand simply moved through him. It reminded her that he was only an illusion of the Spine and not a real person. She gnawed at her lip. She did not fear Colton. It must just be memories that the Spine conjured, memories intended to hurt a person.

"So what happened when Galbatorix's army passed through here?"

Colton smiled almost viciously. "They got what they deserved. The ghosts of the people they had killed bombarded them. Each soldier was faced by their own personal demons. They started to go mad because of it and attacked each other until none of them were left, the last one taking his own life."

Ashen shuddered at the thought. If it had been Galbatorix himself she might have been ruthlessly pleased to hear that sort of end, but most of the soldiers were men recruited from the cities. They did not ask to be part of the king's army and meeting so gruesome disturbed her. Now she doubted she would be able to sleep at all tonight.

"On a happier topic, I know that Tristan has become a Rider." Colton smiled and Ashen got the impression that he was proud of his younger brother. "Somehow, I always knew it would be one of you…and Tristan is certainly deserving. He will make a fine Rider yet."

Ashen nodded. She had not seen Tristan in months and she missed him dearly. She wondered how he and Fafnir were progressing with the elves. It was hard to imagine that he would one day become as powerful as Eragon or Murtagh. Glancing back at the sleeping boy, it was also hard for Ashen to imagine that someone who looked so innocent in slumber could be so lethally powerful in reality. It was hard to think that he had committed foul deeds in the king's name.

"Do not think I have forgotten you, Ashen." Colton's voice was quieter now. "You are the bravest person I know. You never give up."

Ashen hung her head. She was not brave. She had just known that there were important things than her out there, that some things really were worth dying for. Colton's eyes flicked towards Murtagh.

"You saved that boy from a lifetime of pain. You did not give up on him. I also know what you experienced at the hands of that magician. You must have been so afraid, knowing that I died in a similar manner…yet you showed courage, Ashen. You had hope."

His voice was starting to fade and Colton looked around him sharply.

"I am so proud of you both." He sounded almost desperate now. "May your sword stay sharp, Ashen."

There was a hard lump in Ashen's throat as Colton suddenly vanished. There was no mist or explosion – one moment he was there and the next he wasn't. Ashen suddenly felt awfully alone even though Murtagh and Thorn were only a few metres away. She almost wished that she hadn't seen Colton's ghost. It just reminded her of him and his death…but she wouldn't cry. She refused to. She would be strong now, just like he would want her to be.

"Poor, lonely little girl," another voice sneered.

Ashen whipped around to see Durza striding towards her, and any strength she might have possessed sunk to the bottom of her stomach. The only thing she felt right now was cold, piercing fear. Ashen stood her ground, clenching her hands into fists.

"You're not real," she snapped at him, "You're only a ghost. You can't hurt me."

The Shade chuckled darkly. Ashen did not fear Durza because of her own experiences. The reason she was so afraid of him was because of what he'd done to others. He had tortured Colton and Arya. She had seen the damage done to Arya.

"Naïve child," Durza laughed, "If I am not real, how can I do this?"

Images bombarded Ashen's mind. Colton, screaming so loud she thought his lungs would burst, covered in bruises and blood. Durza, his red eyes filled with insane glee as he raised the whip in his hand…

Ashen gasped, struggling to breathe. She had only ever heard the details of her brother's death and she had never wanted to see them for herself. Durza smiled viciously as he closed in on her and suddenly, it didn't seem like he was a ghost. What if Eragon had not killed him? What if he was still real?

Ashen went to run, but she tripped over a rock and fell to the ground as the Shade advanced on her. She screamed, suddenly terrified, feeling as though she was trapped in a nightmare. This couldn't possibly be real. After what had happened to Colton, he couldn't get her as well…

Thorn cracked an eye open upon hearing a girl's scream. He was immediately alert, realising that it must be Ashen. He reached out to his Rider through the bond they shared.

Murtagh! It's Ashen!

The young Rider was awake immediately, struggling out from underneath Thorn's wing as another scream ripped through the air like a knife. Ashen was in trouble. Murtagh grabbed Zar'roc up from where it lay next to the Eldunari and charged towards her.

Ashen sat on the ground with her knees drawn up to her chest and tears spilling down her cheeks. Murtagh put Zar'roc down and crouched in front of her, wondering what had happened.

"I saw him," Ashen whispered, sounding petrified, "I saw Colton. I know what lurks in the Spine, Murtagh. They're ghosts."

Murtagh did not quite know what to say. It had not been the first time he had heard claims that the Spine was haunted. He had scoffed at it before now, but seeing the fear in Ashen's eyes convinced him that it was no joke.

"Then…I saw Durza." Ashen buried her face in her hands, before wiping away at her tears. "He showed me terrible things. He showed me what he did to my brother."

Murtagh had done terrible things. He had burned villages and killed innocent people, all because of Galbatorix. But Murtagh was not evil. Unlike Durza, he did not relish the fear he caused and the havoc he wreaked. He had witnessed nightmarish things he never wanted to tell Ashen about. He did not know what to think about what she said. Was this a result of Zander torturing her, or had she really seen ghosts?

Then Murtagh saw him. Morzan stood right before him, looking as though he was made of flesh and bone. The young Rider's face paled as he reeled away, unable to believe it. Morzan looked down on his son, his face handsome and cruel.

Ashen was staring at Murtagh with wide eyes as he groped for Zar'roc, holding up the sword in an attempt to ward the ghostly vision of his father off. Morzan laughed and advanced, unperturbed by the sword in his son's hands.

"You think to slay me with my own sword?" His voice was deep like Murtagh's.

Murtagh shook his head slowly. Now he understood what Ashen had been talking about. For there was no way that his father could really be standing before him. Morzan held out his hand to Murtagh.

"Come, my son. Join me. You and I are so alike, in so many ways."

Murtagh could feel the rage building up as he leapt to his feet, gripping Zar'roc in both of his hands. Morzan was still smiling knowingly at him and it was causing him to shake with rage. How could his father presume to know him?

"I am nothing like you!" Murtagh roared.

"Oh, but you are." Morzan's tone was cold and amused. "You have killed innocents, Murtagh. You serve the king."

Murtagh shook his head vehemently. "Not of my own volition."

Morzan's mismatched eyes fell upon Ashen and a triumphant smile adorned his features. Murtagh felt his heart sinking as his father pointed a victorious finger at the shocked girl on the ground.

"Then what of the girl you are corrupting, Murtagh? The girl who you may one day marry, and who might bear your child…for that was what happened with your mother. Do you not see the similarities? That girl will be your doom."

Murtagh shook his head. As real as Morzan might appear to him, it was just the magic of the Spine. Ashen could not see Morzan any more than Murtagh had seen Colton and Durza. Therefore, Morzan was not real. Murtagh gripped Zar'roc so tight that his knuckles were turning white. A vein pulsed in his neck.

"I will not be what you want me to be," he hissed, slashing at Morzan. The ghostly figure vanished and Murtagh lowered Zar'roc, wondering how he must have appeared to Ashen, who watched him apprehensively.

"It happened to you, too," she surmised quietly, "They haunt you and…try to make you afraid…try to make you go mad…"

Ashen could remember everything all too clearly. Colton with a warm smile on his face. Durza, sneering at her, making her see horrific things…she couldn't help it as she burst into tears, feeling miserable.

The only comfort Murtagh could provide was to hold her close as she cried into his chest. He stroked her blonde hair back in a rhythmic motion. The only thing he wanted was to take away all of Ashen's pain and heartache. She did not deserve this.

Ashen pushed him down onto the ground. Murtagh was confused, yet he did not resist her. He only realised what she intended when she started undoing the first few buttons of her shirt, then leaned over and started fiddling with the buckle of his belt.

Murtagh wanted Ashen, but here and now…it was just wrong. It would be taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable. She was clearly upset and was not thinking. Murtagh swallowed and then grabbed her by the wrists, pushing her gently off him. Her eyes glittered with tears and defiance.

"Ashen, stop." Murtagh's tone was forceful and despite the lust he felt, he kept it out of his tone.

She laughed bitterly, clambering to her feet and walking back towards Thorn.

"So you don't want me then."

Murtagh's eyebrows contracted into a frown. "It's not about that and you know it. You are not thinking straight. I won't take advantage of you when you are like this."

Ashen gave him a scornful glance and turned her back on him. Feeling the need to make her understand, Murtagh followed her, gripping her by the shoulder and whirling her arm. She tried to push him away, but he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her closer.

"Let me go, Murtagh." Her tone was deadly serious.

"You think that you're the only one to see hardship?" Murtagh demanded, his grey eyes blazing with an intensity that made her fall silent. "Do you want to know what I went through in Uru'baen? The Twins tortured me. Zander tortured me. Galbatorix himself tortured me. They already knew my true name, so do you want to know why they did it?"

Ashen looked at her feet, already knowing the answer. For the same reason Zander had tortured her.

"For spite," Murtagh's voice was little more than a whisper, "Galbatorix was angry that I had defied him, so he let them do what they wanted. I beat at the walls until my fists were bloody. I pulled at the manacles they put around me until my wrists broke. I screamed until I lost my voice. I never stopped fighting, Ashen."

The tears that streamed down her cheeks were not those of pity – which he would have hated. Those tears indicated that she understood what he was going through, that she could empathize.

"Stop."

Ashen shook her head, attempting to break free of his grip. She didn't want to hear any more, yet she knew he would tell her anyway. Murtagh was jaded and cynical. He was not going to hide the truth because it would make both of them feel better. He told it like it was.

"Galbatorix made me do terrible things after that," Murtagh confessed. Somehow, it felt better that he was telling someone – even if that 'someone' was a girl who was thrashing like a wildcat in his grasp. "I was sent out to burn villages. He made me kill children. Do you know how sick that makes you feel, when it is not what you want but you are forced to do it anyway?"

"Stop it!" cried Ashen. Then she was gripping Murtagh's shirt in her fists and was sobbing into his chest. He released his grip on her and put his arms around her instead, holding her tight as she cried heartbrokenly.

"I saw him die," she whispered, "Durza's ghost showed me…he was bruised and bleeding and – I didn't ever think I'd use this word to describe Colton, but – he was scared. Not just because he was dying, but because he didn't know if Durza would get Tristan and me."

Murtagh held Ashen close, knowing it was for the best that he just let her cry it out. He felt that it was his turn to be there for her now. She had saved him without even really knowing it. Murtagh felt guilty for the things he had done, despite the fact that his deeds had disgusted him. He rested his chin on Ashen's head, feeling that having her was more than he deserved.