"'Course y'know, I never really saw it for what it was, growin' up," Scout sighs, his hands still clenched into the fists he'd formed at mentioning Luc, his stepfather. His head rests lazily against against the window, legs propped up casually on the dashboard, the crusted dirt chipping off his soles and smearing against the already dusted surface. The approaching mountains, visible through the windshield smudged by hours of a rainy downpour, are his visual focus, Scout somehow unable to look Sniper in the eye whilst recounting his tale.

"I thought he really was just Ma's friend, y'know?! I didn't know no better, I was eight years old! If that!" Lawrence yelps, shaking his head. "'Luc was just a friend, a reallygoodfriend—' that's what Ma always told us. I thought it was kinda weirdthe way they would stay holed up in my parents' bedroom for a few hours, Ma 'bout as smiley as a fuckin' clown when she'd come out, ya know? Sometimes I'd catch Luc kissin'er, Ma would be gigglin', and I knew she didn't notice me starin', and like Hell I was gonna say anything, you know Jack?"

"What could y've said, love?" Jack asks understandingly, bringing his head away from the road just briefly in order to give Lawrence a quick glance over.

"I was confused though! Why would Ma would be kissin' a dude other than Dad?! I figured it musta been like how relatives you ain't seen in a long ass time kiss and hug ya, but he started comin' over more and more, the trips longer and longer; 'specially on the afternoons'n evenings when Dad wasn't there—Ma knew I noticed.

So I asked, y'know—who was this guy, 'nd why did he talk funny? Why was she kissin'im and what did he want from us? She told me it was a surprise they were workin' on for Dad, and that was why he was always around whenever Dad wasn't, so that they could work on it together without drawin' his attention to whatever it was. 'Don't tell your father about the surprise or Luc,' Ma warned me—shit, I still remember standin' in the hall near the livin' room when she told me this—'You don't wanna spoil it for your father now, do ya...?'"

"Hmm," Jack tuts, eyebrows raised. "'S definitely 'n excuse outta yer kid's questions, eh?"

"Anyway I was real close with my Dad—my other brothers were too old for the babyin', so he bonded with me, y'know? I was the baby, Ma was always there for me too but she was too busy with my brothers and Luc, so it was just me'n Dad, really. So when Ma mentioned there bein' a surprise for'im, well, shit I wanted in on it too! I wanted in on a part'o this, whateverthis was—but nah, it was for 'grown ups', Ma said, that only her and Luc could know.

Whatever Ma told me I believed—she'n Dad had always told me liars'n lies were the worst, that nothin' good came from'em and nothin' good came from tellin'em. Luc was always nice and warm, too. He would grip me like a son and tell me he was sure Dad would enjoy it when it came down to it. Well that was all I needed to hear, you know?" Scout chuckles disbelievingly, lowering himself in his seat and loosening the seatbelt's clench around his throat. "There was no way two adults would lie to me, right?! Or that's how the eight year old me saw it. Man, I was fuckin' stupid..."

"'Nd what eight year old isn't, Scout," Jack sneers, Lawrence shrugging before continuing.

"Either way I was hurt that they wouldn't let me in on it, 'cause I wanted to be a part'o whatever it was that would make Dad happy too. So eventually I started snoopin', followin'em back into the bedroom or whatever, pressin' ears against the door tryin' to hear whatever I could.

Now if there's one thing I was good at, it was bein' a nosy ass little shit—I was hard to shake off—that was until Luc got smart'n started bringin' me gifts with his visits. What eight year old kid would wanna follow adults around when he got a shiny new ball or catcher's mitt? My brothers weren't gettin' nothin', so I'd be too busy runnin' around the house showin' my gifts off while Ma and Luc went back to their business; their planned fuckin' worked,"

"'Nd what about your brothers, love? Where were they?!"

"I mean, you gotta see it this way, Jack: my oldest brother, Alexander, right? He was born in 1930,"

"Jeeze, older 'n me even..." Jack mumbles.

"And Ma had Will and Roy - my twin brothers - in 1937. And she had three other boys before then. I didn't show up 'til '43, so my bros were way too old to be playin' with me all the time. I mean don't get me wrong, Snipes, they were assholes but they're still the best brothers a dude could ever have. When they weren't too busy they spent time with me or whatever, but they were at school and stuff, I was home alone..."

"Aye..."

"So it went on like that for a while; I'd come home from school before everyone else'nd Luc would be there, but only when Dad wasn't, 'nd he'd give me a baseball card, or a few cents to go see a movie or feed some ducks—I love ducks, man...anything to get me outta the way. My oldest brothers were in high school, so they were never really home to notice. The other three didn't really give a shit 'til I started gettin' gifts...

Sometimes we'd go play ball, me and Will, Paul'n Roy—come home from school, eat lunch, then ditch! Now the house was ideal for Ma'nd Luc—nice'n empty. So 'cause of that they started gettin' carless, and that's where they fucked up,"

"'S that mean?"

"Well, it was near the beginning of the summer 'n' the others went down to the diamond for a game. I don't remember what the fuck I was doin', but I guess I was in my room, right? Ma 'n' Luc were in the bedroom, and I was itchin' to try and sneek another peek at that fuckin' surprise, but I didn't—but I did hear the front door open, and I froze, 'cause I didn't wanna catch Dad's attention in the back near the bedrooms, 'cause then he might wander into his room and spoil the surprise. Now here's were shit gets real," Scout takes a deep breath, casting a glance at the attentive Sniper, who takes his eyes from the road for just a second to exchange glances with Scout.

"Next thing I heard was Dad roarin'! I heard doors slammin' and I couldn't believe it when he started cursin'—they must not'a known I was home, 'cause Ma and Dad never cursed in front of us! But he was, he was callin' Ma a whore, a bitch, and I was sittin' in my room frozen scared as Hell 'cause Dad was furious!

I thought it was weird, 'cause Ma and Dad had always raised me to be courteous, to always accept gifts graciously even if I didn't like'em. I couldn't believe Dad was goin' back on his own words like that, cursin'nd upset over his surprise!

So I stuck my head out the door'n the first thing I see is Luc's naked ass tearin' through the kitchen tryin' to put his fuckin' pants on, Ma is cryin' with a sheet around her'n her make up was runnin', 'nd Dad called her a slut'nd said fuck her, fuck us, that we could all rot in Hell'n suck his cock. The door slammed'n I heard tires screech, 'n Ma was still cryin', 'nd I never saw Dad again,"

"WHAT?"

"That was it! Dad never did come back! Now keep in mind with nine of us shit was never easy, but we had great, loving parents, a roof, we could eat—when Dad left, we lost everything; the car, the apartment—dad wasn't payin' for us so we ended up havin' to move to a fucked up flat in a neighbourhood called Springfield—that apartment was ghetto as Hell!"

"Pardon the interruption, Lawrence, but d'you really mean that your Pop ran out on you'n your brothers when he caught your Mum messin' around?"

"Yeah, fuckin' Luc—"

"Now hold on, Love, I agree Luc is at fault here—'n you prolly don't wanna hear this 'bout your Dad, but no man worth the tears would ever leave his sons behind without contact or support—financial or otherwise!" Sniper snaps, Scout's facial muscles strained as if convincing himself that Sniper was wrong required physical determination.

Sniper massages his shoulder sympathetically as Scout sits speechless, the boy taking his feet from the dashboard and turning away from him to stare full on out the passenger side window.

"Sorry, love," Sniper whispers, Scout shaking his head.

"Nah, man—you're right," Scout chokes, Sniper biting down on his lower lip cautiously.

"Tell me more 'bout what happened when you moved 'cross town,"

"...it didn't take long for me to catch on that my Dad wasn't comin' back; I had no idea what happened at the time, but with each week where Dad didn't call, or our meals were fuckin' onion soup with warm ass tap water that had brown shit swirlin' in it— Lookin' back on it my brothers took it well—or maybe they just had different ways of showin' it? Either way, I knew my Dad leavin' was tied to Luc, to his fuckin' surprise, and I knew what sex was, and it was only a matter of time 'til I finally put it all to-fuckin'-gether.

Shit went down hill real fast. We were all shoved in a three bedroom in the worst part of Boston with no car and—shit, no nothin'! Ma was obviously stressed—with just her supportin' us it got to her real fast too. Luc still came over, 'nd she said he was here for us..."

"Right," Jack scoffs.

"Well I wasn't fuckin' havin' it. My bros knew somethin' was wrong, 'cause I started gettin' real aggressive, I was gettin' into fights, breakin' shit when I got angry. I was yellin' 'nd screamin', 'nd Luc started comin' by more often, 'nd my behaviour went down from there. I wouldn't listen to him or respect him, nothin'—fucker would try to ask me how school went, how were my friends, tried warmin' up to me, gettin' to know me, but I told him flat out, as an eight year old, to fuck off back to France, that he was a liar, that he destroyed my life; the beatin' I got that night from Ma left bruises I swear didn't disappear 'til I was sixteen—and Ma didn't even start cursin' or beatin' us 'til after Dad left. Like I said, shit just changed. Even my brothers were terrified o' that fuckin' paddle,"

"Heh,"

"Then Luc fuckin' moved in.

As if the fuckin' asshole hadn't already ruined everything! Woulda been different if he picked up the slack, if he was actually helpin' us out—he saw me and my brothers starvin', he saw Ma strugglin' with rent and lights—she worked as a cashier at a fuckin' grocery store, barely makin' enough to keep the fuckin' lights. We had no idea what he did for a livin'—'course now I know it's 'cause he's a fuckin'spy, but back then it didn't make no sense that his creepy ass was flyin' back to France'nd then other places without tellin' us why.

Ma wasn't too worked up about it 'cause Frenchie was buyin' her pearls'nd flyin' her to Europe—leavin' my oldest brother Alex behind to take care of us the weeks they'd run away to fuckin' Venice—"

"Bloody disgustin', love..."

"But pearls weren't feedin' no mouths, 'nd vacations weren't payin' no fuckin' rent. Alex was twenty one, barely graduated high school three years ago. He didn't have no plans to go to college, so he stepped up as man of the house, 'cause Luc sure wasn't doin' shit—got a job at a gas station'nd did the best he could to help Ma out.

On top o'all that Luc started singlin' me out; my other brothers didn't seem as bothered by him as I was. Sure, they weren't callin'im Dad or nothin', but everyone in that fuckin' apartment knew that one day it would come down to me or him. I wasn't holdin' back. I'd called him every name in the book, I wouldn't listen to him, pretty much I was only heard screamin' my throat dry 'cause I would just get so damn mad.

Luc convinced Ma that I needed to see a psychologist, that I wasn't right—nine years-fuckin'old and I was goin' to therapy. I went to those damn sessions too, but Luc sure as Hell wasn't payin' for it. Alex had to cover the costs—imagine bein' my age'nd on top of everything else you're watching your brother slave himself away so he can pay for some fat bitch to tell a nine year old he's mentally unstable! I knew the only way to make it stop would be to acknowledge Luc, but I'd smartened up; Instead of pretending he didn't exist, I'd avoid all the places he did.

So after school, me, Paul, Will, Roy'n Christopher would head down to the diamond. Me'n the first three were middle schoolers—got good grades, did homework, so it wasn't like we were skippin'. Alex had work, and Anthony, he never had time to play, he was so fuckin' smart, and he had to study a lot 'cause of these science courses. But shit, my brothers would take me outta the house'nd we'd stay out all day 'til the first streetlights came on—that was our curfew.

But the older we all got, well, it was time for'em to go. Christopher'nd Anthony both ended up gettin' scholarships to some alright places. It helped not havin' to take care of those two, but shit was still rough. Alex was still workin', 'nd so was Ma, 'nd I was 15, Paul was 23 and Will'n Roy were twins, both 21.

Now High School, I couldn't go play no more; grades were always important to me, doin' well—so I was always home, 'nd Luc would use me as his fuckin' bitch 'cause Ma wasn't around. He started beatin' me, for no reason—"

"WHAT?! Bloody tosser was puttin'is hands on ya—?!"

"Oh, yeah! I was shocked it wasn't happenin' sooner! I wasn't no nine year old, I was growin' up—I had muscles, 'nd I wasn't afraid to take'im on, either. Some nights he'd just come into my room'nd wail on me. Call me all sorts 'o shit, sayin' it's for underminin'im in his own house, for bein' a disrespectful little shit. I didn't do nothin' though, 'cause I didn't want Ma to worry, or for Luc to try and turn it on me, call the police'n get me put away for domestic violence or whatever shit he could work up. I sure as Hell wasn't goin' back to therapy.

So I took the beatings, he wrecked me—told Ma it was from baseball'n boxing—I was tryin' out for both teams, so it calmed'er down, 'nd I wouldn't cry or squeal or nothin'—Luc would get me 'n he'd have his fist in my hair, but I'd smile those bloody ass smiles, I wasn't crackin'. It hurt like Hell, every time, but he wasn't gonna break me completely,"

"Bugger me, Lawrence," Sniper sighs, knuckles white against the steering wheel. "I swear I'll rip'is bloody head off—"

"Heyo, Snipes, don't get mad, s'alright, I dealt with it," Scout soothes him, bringing a hand to slide across his thigh.

He grumbles, bringing his gaze back to the road.

"So it went on like this 'til my senior year. I ended up graduatin' with all A's and B's. I was a good student, sure, but I wasn't like Anthony, engineerin' in his sleep, so I didn't get no scholarships. It was me, Luc, Ma, 'nd Alex all still together in that flat. The others'd moved out, gotten lives of their own, ya know? But I wanted to be there for Ma. Sure, she isn't no old bat, but I wasn't gonna leave her alone.

I wanted to get out, get away from Luc, go to college—Christopher and Anthony came back from college so fuckin' classy, like they'd had a good time. I wanted to know how it felt, too, y'know? But I knew it wasn't gonna happen. So I started searchin' for jobs, 'cause Luc was sittin' back eatin' shit, callin' me a bum, hittin' me, sayin' I was the most worthless of all Ma's sons—then fuckin' bastard said the wrong shit one morning—fuckin' said it was good Dad walked out on us, that he didn't have to see his precious Lawrence grow up to be a pile o' shit—"

"Oh, Lawrence—"

"I lost it—I fuckin' lost it—beat the shit outta the fucker—Ma came home from work, the walls were bloody'n my hands were stained, and I had the craziest fuckin' smile you could ever imagine. Beat'im so bad you couldn't even see his face for a month—'s just what Alex told me, I wouldn't know—got my ass arrested for it that night—Ma called the cops, hysterical.

Alex'nd Will went down to the station that night to see me. Shit, they almost seemed proud, Jack. Said Ma was fuckin' goin' crazy, but that I went out with a bang. They told our other bros—I got short little telephone calls with'em, five minutes each. Whatever. Ended up bein' sentenced to more fuckin' therapy. Only went once, though,"

"What?! How did you manage to avoid it?!"

"Went into the military, slugger, the only place where it didn't matter who you were 'slong as you were cool with dyin' at any given point. Builders League United came recruitin' one day at the end of the session. Said they were wilin' to wash my record clean if I gave 'em a minimum of five years of service. Obviously I accepted,"

"So then you weren't in it for the dramatic payback 'gainst Luc?"

"I fucked him up enough for a lifetime, dude doesn't even come near me on the battlefield. I didn't need no more o'that. Like I said, I had no idea what he did for a livin'—none of us did—until I ran into'im in combat,"

"Shit, love..."

"'Course 'til then I'd only known him with the mask off...but I knew that voice, that fuckin' figure, 'nd he said my name, and I tore so fuckin' fast outta there..." Scout smirks, looking at his hands.

"But he told Ma, 'nd she almost lost her marbles again, knowin' that me'n him were squarin' off 'nd that her little boy was killin' over fuckin' territorial control. Sometimes I dunno what to think; she'll cry about how much she misses me then say she doesn't wanna see 'cause of everything I've done...So yeah..." Scout smiles smally, nodding in finality. "Then when he actually approached me yesterday mornin', tellin' me to fuckin' behave 'nd callin' me a faggot—yeah, I was a little pissed..."

But Scout falls silent as he notices the van is stationary, parked on the side of the highway, Sniper extending his arms to pull Scout within them.

They sit silent and unmoving in the heartfelt embrace, Scout nuzzling into the crook of Sniper's neck, the older man running an affectionate hand down his back.

"I owe you 'n apology, love..."

"Nah, Jack, that's why I told you, you know?" Scout smiles smally at the man. "It ain't your fault. I got mad at you when you didn't even know the truth. It wasn't fair,"

"Well, now I know..." Sniper grumbles, bringing Scout closer against him. "'Nd we'll make sure Luc knows it too."