A/N: It's been a while since I updated but I have been catching up on my reading list this week! So many great recs I have collected, so little time...

Chapter 7: Please Mr Postman

"If you can just take the crib upstairs? The nursery is on the left. Yes, up the stairs. No, not there – in the nursery!"

I plopped down the boxes on the counter and stormed towards the removal men. I stopped right beside the stoutest looking and raised my eyebrows at him in irritation.

"That," I said pointing to Nessie's bed. "Is a crib. Why in God's name are you trying to put it in the toilet?"

There was a moment's silence.

"Well, where'd you want us to put it?"

"Upstairs!"

I rolled my eyes at them and stalked off. I heard them chuckle to one another but I really didn't care. I had more important things to worry about today than their opinions of me. I picked up the two boxes I had deserted and headed for the kitchen. It had been just over a week since I had told Jake but it felt like a life time. Nessie and I had stayed at the house while I looked for a place to rent but it was all so wrong.

I placed the boxes on the side and ripped open the first one. Cutlery – great. Jacob had ignored me ever since he had walked away from me that night. He had moved into the spare room while I had cried myself to sleep every night. I hadn't realised I had started crying then too until I noticed my cheeks were wet. I wiped them hurriedly with the backs of my hands and focused on filling the cutlery drawer.

Jake had thrown an extortionate amount of money at finding me a new place. No house too expensive, he seemed to have pulled out all the stops trying to get rid of me. I stopped my hands from moving and put down the spoon I was holding. I couldn't do this now. I needed something else to focus on. As I turned to head back out to the truck Emily entered with Nessie in her arms.

"There Momma is!" she cooed at Nessie in a sing song voice. Nessie giggle and stretched her chubby arms out to me. I walked forward and lifted her from Emily's grasp to sit her on my hip. She instantly snuggled her head against my shoulder and slipped a tiny thumb in her mouth. Emily patted her back softly before turning to me.

"How you doing, hun?" she asked with a small smile. I gave her reassuring nod.

"Good. Good, just... very stressful," I told her.

"I can imagine," she agreed. "How was he?"

"He said goodbye to Nessie and asked if I had got everything but other than that, the same. Not a single word."

"He'll come round."

"No, he won't," I shook my head and leant against the work top. "We're getting a divorce."

Emily's face twisted in disbelief.

"You sure?"

"I believe we are, as many people say, at the point of no return," I shifted Nessie's weight to free one of my hands and began opening the other box.

"Oh, don't say that," Emily insisted, coming to my aid. I said nothing but focused on juggling Nessie, the box and imminent tears all at once. "You seem to be taking it all rather well."

I gave up on the box and turned to face her.

"Trust me, I'm not," my voice broke. "I've just had a lot of lonely hours to think about it."

Emily went to speak, concern written all over her face, when a fat, loutish removal man popped around the corner.

"Hey, lady, where'd you want these?" he asked. In his hands he waved two newspaper bound frames. They were my wedding photos – I remembered wrapping them yesterday.

"Oh, God!" I moaned loudly, throwing my head back.

"Uh, I'll take these," Emily darted forward and took the frames from the fool, who just slopped back off.

"We're gonna get through today," she promised, heading for the door. "And every day after."

God, I hoped she was right. Nessie got a little heavier in my arms and I bounced her gently.

"Hey, I hope you're not going to sleep there, Mrs," I scolded her playfully. "It's not time for a nap now."

After she ignored me I patted her bum gently and told her to come along. She raised her head to look at me, her brown eyes wide.

"Not sleepin'," she assured me.

"Sure, sure," I bit my own tongue as I copied one of Jacob's mannerisms. Nessie pouted at me calling her bluff, her little pink lips stuck out comically. I laughed at her and kissed her nose before moving back to the living room. I hadn't had all that much time to look for the 'perfect' house, so it was sort of the living room and the dining room but I didn't mind. As long as it was clean, safe and practical for looking after Nessie it worked for me.

I placed her on the second hand couch I had found and pulled out a plush soft toy I had shoved in my pocket earlier for moments such as these. There had been no question that Nessie would be coming with me but it felt a little unfair to keep her from Jake. I would have to let him come visit her but as he was ignoring me it probably meant he was screening my calls too and I had no other way of getting hold of him.

It had occurred to me frequently how juvenile he was being about this whole thing and it made me slightly angry. Yes, I was heartbroken most of the time but when I thought of how much he was just acting like a big kidI was livid. It must just be something with his family as I hadn't heard from Leah since she walked out on me either, despite leaving countless messages on her machine to 'call me'.

I saved a box of china from the arms of the lout who had appeared in kitchen earlier and set it down on the kitchen table. Hopefully, they would be finished soon and I could start to get some order to the place. It shouldn't take me too long – I didn't have that much stuff as the majority of it was still Jacob's. I only had things I had been able to beg for or had time to buy, like pots and pans. I would have to save up to pad out the house – Nessie had her crib still but all I had was the mattress from my old bed in Forks, which Charlie had kindly strapped to the roof of the cruiser and brought over at the weekend.

He had given me the biggest hug when he saw me, such ostentatious shows of affection out of the norm for him. Because he didn't judge me. He didn't care what I had done. Sure, he loved Jacob as his own son but I was still his Bells and nothing would change that. As I moved back to the kitchen to find the cool bag full of Nessie's snacks I wondered if his tolerance had anything to do with Mom. He often joked that it was just because he was a famous ladies man but I knew he had had to recover from the only woman he had ever loved leaving him. He had learnt to forgive. It seemed Jacob had not.

I grabbed a bag of Potato Flyers and went back to Nessie. I guess I didn't want him to forgive me just yet though because I didn't want to forgive him. Hurt was a two way thing and he had dealt his own few blows over the last week, not forgetting the fact he had turned violent. I pulled open the packet and offered one of the chips inside to Nessie, who took it willingly, instantly forgetting the toy in her hands. I had woken early the day after and was horrified to find a band of bruises around the top of both arms where Jacob had grabbed me. The Jacob I knew would never use physical violence, especially against me.

I sat with Nessie while she finished her snack, watching the world move around me. The removal men weren't being very careful with my stuff and I thanked my lucky stars that not a lot of it was breakable. Emily stopped by after a few minutes to let me know they needed her at the bakery for some reason or another I couldn't care to remember and that she would be back that evening. Part of me was slightly angry at her for leaving but it saved me from just wallowing in misery at the thought of directing this whole renegade by myself.

I wondered how I had lasted so long. I scrunched the empty wrapper in my hand and stroked Nessie's hair with the other. It had been an emotional day and saying goodbye to Jake had been... well, it wasn't the easiest thing I had ever done. I felt totally worthless as I left Nessie with her toy again and headed upstairs. I had tried to apologise to Jacob time and time again but he studiously ignored me. It wasn't fair. I really was sorry for what I had done and I wanted Jacob to see that as much as possible but he wouldn't listen. I entered the bathroom when I heard him call.

"Um... hello?"

I dropped my head defeated and headed for the stairs. Why was it so difficult for the damn removal men to fucking function? You would never guess this was their job. It felt like I had hired monkeys not fully grown 'men'. I came down the stairs with my jaw set ready to scream bloody murder at the next dim-witted oaf who crossed my path, when I saw him knelt by Nessie tickling her stomach.

"Quil!" I called out brightly over Nessie's peals of laughter. He looked towards me instantly, a smile on his face that only ever appears when you've been playing with a small child. He murmured something to her softly before straightening up and coming to me. I still stood by the bottom of the stairs, half-pleased, half-wary to see my husband's best friend standing in my living room. My mind whirred a mile a minute trying to figure out what he wanted.

"It's a bit mental here, isn't it?" Quil joked as he approached me. I laughed joylessly and gave him a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

"Well, this is what happens when you're chucked out of your own home," I replied dryly. I wasn't being purposely cold. Don't get me wrong, I was so happy to see Quil's face in this madhouse it threatened to bring back the tears, but the worry that had planted itself in my gut at his visit made my mind go into auto-defend mode. Which was also known as unwelcoming bitch mode, apparently. Quil's brow puckered briefly as he winced at my words.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have-"

I forced myself out of Bitchy Bella and interrupted him.

"Don't be silly, just me being unnecessarily rude." He reached forward and touched my arm in comfort. "It's just easier to launch an offensive than let people take pity on me," I added that last bit quietly and he gave my shoulder a slight squeeze as I said it. Because it was true. I saw it when people asked me about why I was moving. Bitchy Bella was also very blasé and didn't pause once before telling someone how she had cheated on her husband. And then I would instantly regretting sharing it with them as they would all give me the same God damn look. They all looked sorry for me, as though they suddenly understood the whole story and knew that I was some poor foolish woman who had got bored and was now all alone. Despite two thirds of that being true, it still angered me no end.

"I don't pity you, Bella," Quil reassured me as he removed his hand and reached for his back pocket. "In fact, I think you're incredibly brave for having the guts to tell Jake. I know I never would have done it. And that's why I feel slightly better that it's me that has to give you this."

He produced a medium sized brown envelope, which he had folded in his pocket and offered it to me. I took it timidly and saw it had been addressed to Jacob's house. Instantly, I flipped the envelope over and yanked open the glued flap. Pulling back the first sheet of paper inside, I saw the header of Jacob's lawyer and my heart fell out of my body.

"Oh."

"I'm so sorry," Quil murmured gently. I stared at the paper for a few more second before I shook my head to clear it and looked back at Quil. I plastered the most convincing smile on my face as I could muster and began.

"Don't be," I insisted. "I've been expecting this. Not as soon as this but... it's not a surprise."

I could feel my eyes prick as I tried to force my smile wider. Quil was watching me carefully so I just continued to grin at him like a fool. But I was doing the math in my head. This letter was dated two days ago. Give the secretary a day to compile all the necessary paperwork, a couple more days for the memo to actually reach her desk and a last fatal twenty-four hours for plans to be arranged and you had six days. Six days ago Jacob had filed for divorce. Six days. Meaning he had contacted his lawyer the morning after it had all come out. I suddenly felt very foolish for trying to tell him I was sorry for the past week.

"Do you want to sit down, or...?" Quil brought me back to the present and I realised I had been smiling at him in silence for way longer than necessary. I wiped the stupid grin from my lips and shook my head slightly.

"No, just letting it sink in," I informed him. "Sorry."

I folded the envelope and wedged it in the back pocket of my jeans. Out of sight, out of mind. For now. I ran a hand through my hair, just about to thank Quil for bringing it over when Nessie called out for me.

"Mommaaaaaaaaaa!"

I bustled past Quil without a thought or word and flew towards her small form. There were tears on her cheeks and her face had a soft pink blush covering it. I instantly bent to scoop her up in my arms and held her to my chest.

"What's wrong, pretty baby?" I cooed at her. She balled her hands into tiny fists and ground them against my collar bones as she pressed her face into my hair. "Nessie? What's the matter?"

I looked around. There was nothing here that could have hurt her, no one here who could have upset her. She was fed, she was dry, she shouldn't be tired. She was the embodiment of the word 'fine' apart from the salty tears in her eyes and her quick, hot breaths against my neck. I rubbed her back soothingly and she began to murmur against my skin.

"I wanted Daddy 'coz I knew he'd be here 'coz Quily is here but then he didn't come so I called again and and then I membered that Daddy said he weren't living with us no more so I got sad…"

Her little confession had me squeezing her tighter as my own tears gathered in my eyes. I had to get hold of Jacob somehow. His little girl needed him if nothing else.

"Quil," I looked at him to see him watching Nessie and my little exchange. "Could you let Jacob know Ness misses him and to call me, maybe, so she can see him?"

I disliked the thought of having to meet up with him so he could see our daughter but I had to make the precious bundle in my arms feel better.

"Sure," he agreed and sauntered over to us. "I'll tell him when I go over later. I'm sure he's missing her too." He reached out and stroked her still lowered head, "I should really go now – you need your space to get sorted."

"Okay, it was nice seeing you. Unexpected. And," was I really thankful for this? "Thank you for, you know… dropping my mail off."

He bit his lip quizzically and half-laughed.

"No problem. I'll… see you later."

Then he gave me a parting smile and started for the door. He paused for two removal men go ease my dresser through the entrance and then he was gone. I sighed and noticed Nessie's breathing had slowed right down. I craned my neck slightly to look at her face and, sure enough, she was fast asleep, her face still pink from crying. I smiled to myself at the sight of my sleeping beauty and remembered that her crib had already been placed upstairs.

I carried her carefully to her room and laid her down, tucking a fleece I found in a nearby box around her. I leant on the edge of the crib for a moment watching her and thought back to what she had said to me earlier. She realised that Jacob wasn't going to be around so much anymore and it upset her. I kicked myself for the millionth time at how selfish I had been. Not only had I ruined my relationship with Jake but I had fucked up her idea of a family. As she grew up it would always be Mom in one place, Dad in the other. She would never know the unity of two married people and would never have the support of a strong parenting team. And what would that mean for her?

I thought back to what I had said to Quil when he first arrived. I had been wrong to defend myself and try to act tough. I did deserve those people's pity after all. I was just a pathetic, sorry girl who had mucked up big time. I finally stopped fighting the day long tears and let the salt water fill my eyes. Nessie shifted and yawned in her sleep as the first droplet fell and landed soundlessly on the bedding beside her.

A/N: At the moment, voting is open for the Fetlife at Twilight Contest. Make sure you search for 'Fetlife at Twilight' with that liiiiitle button up there. Yup, that one right there at the top of the page. Go on, click it - you know you want to. Or, in case you feel like stalling, leave a review!

Also, I would like to announce that in the next few weeks I am publishing a brand new fic called 'Run, Bella Swan' so make sure you look out for that! Federal is a bit of a long term project and, you know what they say, variety is the spice of life.

Toodles!

Mel x