Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.
Isle of the Dread or We Had a Blast
Narrator: Rocky and Bullwinkle's latest vacation spot on the island of Moosylvania is the abandoned city of Hornwallis. While having an abandoned locale as a tourist spot is strange-
Bullwinkle: It isn't if you want to get away from it all.
Narrator: -If you say so. Technically all of the Moosylvania's towns and cities are empty. Like the governor's head.
Bullwinkle: Tell me something I don't know.
Narrator: All right. The baddies are outside the city limits and they're planning to have a blast here, if you know what I mean.
Bullwinkle: Sure do! The nice tourist folks are gonna liven this place up a bit with a party.
Rocky: I don't think that's exactly what he meant...
Narrator: Rocky's right. What I meant by a "blast" is that the baddies have a big cannon aimed at the city, and they're going to blow up the place to bits!
Boris: Hahahahaahahahaa! I know I'm going to have a blast. Right, comrades?
Fearless Leader: Jawohl.
Natasha: Yes, dollink.
Narrator: Bullwinkle actually thinks that you're throwing a party for him at his city.
Fearless Leader: Moose really thinks we are going to do that?
Natasha: Silly Moose.
Fearless Leader: Indeed. He should know better by now.
Boris: Yeah. We're going to crash his party, if you know what I mean!
Narrator: The Moose and Squirrel are aware of your plan since I told them.
Boris: Raskolnikov! Why did you tell them that, Meester Narrator?
Narrator: I'm not an evil narrator. If I was, you would have won a long time ago.
Boris: Well, phooey to you and your stupid niceness. I'm going to blow the place up anyway.
He lights the fuse on the cannon.
Boris: Cannonball!
Narrator: Boris, being the exuberant spy that he is, yells so loud that our heroes happen to hear him from inside the city of Hornwallis.
Bullwinkle: Did you hear that, Rocky?
Rocky: Hear what?
Bullwinkle: Someone said somethin' about a cannonball. You know what that means.
Rocky: Boris is going to blow up Hornwallis?
Bullwinkle: Nope. It means there's a high diving contest! If we hurry, we can enter and win first prize!
Narrator: He drags Rocky with him and dives off a nearby ridge into the sea below.
Bullwinkle: Cannonball!!!
*SPLASH*
Narrator: They're pretty lucky, because the cannonball hits right after they dive in.
*BOOM*
Narrator: It turns out that the city of Hornwallis had a rather flimsy economy, in that the buildings were made out of cardboard. Surprisingly the cannonball flew over the empty city and hit a mountain far off into the distance. Our empty headed hero and his pal are safe!
Rocky: Thanks, Bullwinkle! By misinterpreting a saying, you saved my life.
Bullwinkle: No problem, Rocky. So I guess you're gonna vote for me to continue being the governor in the next Moosylvanian election, huh?
Rocky: No one lives here. An election in Moosylvania wouldn't make any sense.
Bullwinkle: Well, I still have to campaign. Maybe the friendly tourists will vote for me.
Rocky: That's not very likely to happen.
Narrator: The "friendly tourists" have no idea that our heroes have evaded their not so friendly fire.
Boris: Yeah! We finally did it!
Natasha: We finally killed Moose and Squirrel!
Fearless Leader: I'm not so sure...
Boris: Why not? There was a sound effect this time.
Fearless Leader: Sorry, Badenov und Fatale, but I highly doubt you're competent enough to actually do something useful.
Natasha: There is a first time for everything, dollink.
Boris: She's right. I think you should relax and celebrate with us, boss. Have a beer or something.
Narrator: That wouldn't be very appropriate. Especially if you three have too much-
Boris: Phooey to you and your stupid niceness!
Narrator: Bullwinkle's favourite tourists celebrate their "victory" by having a hopefully non alcoholic celebration. Coincidentally, the actually alive governor of Moosylvania and his accomplice happen to inadvertently crash their party.
Bullwinkle: Did ya hear that, Rocky? We're gonna have a party after all!
Rocky: Well, there are some familiar people over there. The short pale guy looks really familiar.
Bullwinkle: Yeah, it's like we saw him a few episodes ago. Uh, I recognize the short pale guy in the red Hawaiian shirt and pants, but who are the other two?
Narrator: In addition to Boris the Tourist, they see a woman in a tropical dress with a Pottsylvania Creeper floral pattern, and a thin man with a monocle wearing a green shirt and Bermuda shorts. They're all out in the sun, now that it has finally stopped raining, in folding beach chairs.
Bullwinkle: Oh, boy! More tourists in my country!
Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader: Moose and Squirrel!?
They simultaneously fall out of their folding chairs.
Fearless Leader: Not you two! Boris and Natasha had me nearly convinced that you went up in smoke!
Natasha: Dollink, ve can explain...
Fearless Leader: No excuses! You are a bunch of no good liars!
Boris: Please don't keel us, boss!
Fearless Leader: Keel you? Don't be stupid. It is very impressive for you nitwits to almost outsmart me, a genius, for once.
Boris: We had no idea- oh... all right.
Fearless Leader: Now go capture Moose und Squirrel while I change back into my uniform. I can't let our arch enemies see me like this...
Fearless Leader goes off somewhere to change into his uniform. Boris and Natasha follows his orders by getting up to look for Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Boris: Haha! Fearless Leader actually thinks we're somewhat intelligent!
Natasha: He probably doesn't. And Moose and Squirrel most likely escaped by now.
Boris: No, they didn't. Look over there!
Narrator: Sure enough, Bullwinkle was actually stupid enough to hang around, and he dragged Rocky with him to a small refreshment table.
Rocky: Bullwinkle, we should have ran away by now.
Bullwinkle: And miss the free drinks?
Narrator: I hope the refreshments aren't what I think it is...
Boris: Moose is drinking our Mooseberry soda! Get them!
Bullwinkle: Huh?
Narrator: Phew. At least it's just soda.
Boris: You wouldn't shaddup your mouth about it.
Narrator: Sorry... wait a minute, our heroes have been kidnapped!
Narrator: What happened to our heroic island owners? Well, apparently they're tied up and hanging upside down.
Boris: Now you party crashers are hanging around.
Natasha: Nice pun, dollink.
Fearless Leader: Ah, so there they are.
Boris: Uh, boss, now that you changed into your uniform, can Natasha and I put on our pirate disguises from the previous episode? I have a great impression-
Fearless Leader: If you do your "pirate impression" again, I will personally ensure that you are keelhauled.
Boris: ...Never mind.
Bullwinkle: Now all of my tourist friends are together again! Is this some kind of Moosylvania custom that I never heard of?
Fearless Leader: I'm not a tourist, you moronic moose! I am the self elected governor of Pottsylvania, and Moosylvania is next on my list.
Bullwinkle: Oh, okay. Hey, isn't it customary in some places to bow to the governor or something?
Fearless Leader: Jawohl.
Bullwinkle: Huh?
Fearless Leader: Jawohl means yes.
Bullwinkle: Can you do a bow then?
Fearless Leader: No. I have weak knees.
Bullwinkle: Really? Why?
Fearless Leader: You're familiar with the Wossamotta U episodes, right?
Bullwinkle: Yeah.
Fearless Leader: I had to lead the Pottsylvanian football team even though the sport is stupid.
Bullwinkle: I'm an expert at that sport!
Fearless Leader: I know. And I'm not surprised.
Bullwinkle: How'd you get hurt without playing it?
Fearless Leader: Ever get tackled by 500 pound football players?
Bullwinkle: No.
Fearless Leader: That's why. Now give me the right to own Moosylvania or else! You may start with the city you were just in.
Bullwinkle: So you're saying I should surrender Hornwallis? This sounds familiar for some reason...
Narrator: While Bullwinkle ponders the fate of his economically valauble cardboard city, the weight of the four-hundred pound moose eventually causes his rope to snap in two. He plummets a staggering height of three feet to the ground.
*thud*
Bullwinkle: Not very staggering if ya ask me.
Rocky: Hurry, Bullwinkle! Untie me so we can get out of here.
Bullwinkle: Okay, but leaving so soon is kinda impolite.
Narrator: After being untied, the party crashers run down an unkempt path. In order to continue down the path, they will have to walk across a bridge so rickety that it looks like it's made of bones. It is also high up above a lagoon full of perilous pointy rocks and whirlpools!
Rocky: Do we have to?
There are several cracking sounds.
Bullwinkle: Looks safe to me.
They start to cross the bridge.
Rocky: All those cracking sounds...
Bullwinkle: Stop worrying. It just needs some fixin' up, and maybe a chiropractor or two.
*crack*
Bullwinkle: Or maybe three?
Narrator: The three villains have just spotted our heroes.
Fearless Leader: We must follow them on the makeshift Musou Tsuribashi Bridge! Let's go!
Boris and Natasha: Do we have to?
Fearless Leader: Yes. Now mach schnell!
Boris: But I can't go on that thing! I'm too heavy...
Fearless Leader: No excuses, Badenov.
Boris: Aw, phooey!
Narrator: Will our good and evil stars make it across the rickety bridge? Stay tuned for "A Spine Tingler" or "The Bridge of the River Die".