It was hard writing this chapter. It's pretty disturbing...just to warn you. This is definitely not my "easiest" story and it makes me sad and sick that those things happen in real life!

xxxxx

Some weeks after the attack the entire girls were at home and their bruises were gone: But only the physical ones. The emotional ones would stay probably forever and everyone dealt differently with it. Haley could not leave Nathan's side for a second while Rachel broke up with Felix and wanted to be alone and Peyton was somewhere in between and sometimes pushed Jake away and then regretted it the next second. But all of them worried the most about Brooke. She was the one that was raped and she was the one that had lost her voice. She did not want to see anyone any more, not even Lucas and she only stayed in her room for hours and showered like every hour.

She felt dirty and could still smell the men on her body and at night she had to go through everything again. How they thrust into her without mercy, touched her at every spot and used her like a doll. She hated her body and she hated that people felt pity with her and only saw the girl that was raped in her. Victoria Davis tried everything to get back her daughter. Although she had never spent much time with her, she knew that the version that was lying upstairs in the bed, was not the Brooke Davis she knew. It broke her heart that those bastards had taken away her spirit, her laugh, her love for life.

She looked into the room and heard Brooke showering again. So she opened the bathroom door and was shocked.

"Honey stop that.", Victoria opened the shower and took Brooke's hand into hers. Brooke had managed to scrape herself badly and her arms and legs were bleeding now. Not much but still the water was red.

"No. Leave me alone. I am dirty. I need to get this dirt off of me.", Brooke tried to get free but Victoria pushed her outside and took a towel and wrapped it around Brooke's body. Her curves were gone and all she could see was a skinny girl that told her the other night that she wished that those bastards had killed her. Victoria pulled her onto her lap and rocked her back and forth. Maybe she should have done that more often when Brooke had been a child. She held her hands in hers and kissed her forehead while Brooke cried heavily. Finally Brooke was crying again and let her touch her.

"Mom. Mom.", Brooke whispered sadly over and over again.

"I am here honey. I am here and I won't go away.", Victoria cried with her daughter.

"I don't know what to do. I am sorry. I am so sorry.", Brooke cried into her mother's chest and wished that all her pain would just go away. But she knew that she would always remember her torturers. She would see their faces and smiles at night, she would hear their voices, she would feel their touches and smell them. She was broken and she knew it.

xxxxxx WARNING...FLASHBACK TO HER RAPE! xxxxxxx

They carried her to the bedroom and Brooke shivered how they looked at them. "Please.", she sobbed but the first man jumped on top of her and pushed her back to the bed. While he was sitting on her stomach, the other man pulled down her underpants while the other man pulled down her shirt. Finally she was lying naked under the men. She tried to get free but she had no chance against those four men. One of them held her arms above her, the other spread her legs apart without mercy. The one that was sitting on top of her started to caress her breast.

"Shit. You're so damn hot.", he said and took one breast into her mouth. Brooke screamed but her scream was gone when the one that held her hand kissed her and entered his tongue. She immediately bit on his tongue and tasted his blood.

"You bitch.", he slapped her in the face, "so she likes it hard guys." He went to the other side and without mercy he entered three of his fingers. Brooke screamed in pain and could not believe what was happening. Finally he went with his mouth between her legs. "Shit. She tastes great guys.", one guy after another went between her leg while the other ones just laughed at her.

"Hey pretty girl. That's just the beginning.", one man nibbled at her earlobe and whispered to her. She knew that he was not lying. "C'mon boss. You're first.", one of them spread her legs more apart that it even hurt and the next one took off his pants.

"No. No. Leave me alone. Please. No.", she screamed in panic but it was too late. He entered her without mercy. "You're hurting me. Stop. Please stop."

But instead of stopping he thrust into her harder and the other ones enjoyed other parts of her body. When she was sitting on the lap of another one and he was thrusting into her, she could not even cry any more.

"Shit. She's so tight.", he released into her and moaned. "Good girl.", he kissed her neck and did not care that they were hurting her the worst.

xxxxxxxxx

Brooke screamed in her mother's arm and held her ears with her hands. She heard their voices over and over again and did not know what to do. "Brooke. Calm down.", but it was getting worse and worse. Finally Victoria took the needle and injected something into her system. The doctor had given it to her to calm her down. Within seconds Brooke felt dizzy and her sobbing calmed down.

"I cannot do it any more. I can't. I can't", she whispered over and over again until her eyes got heavy and she fell asleep. Victoria looked at her beautiful daughter and did not know what to do at all. The girl was broken and the old Brooke was gone: Probably forever. She had already called detectives and pretty high friends to get those bastards. Nobody was allowed to hurt her baby. Nobody!

xxxxxxxxxx

Lucas was lying in his bed at home and cried into the pillow. Brooke did not want to see him any more and whenever he came to her house, she shivered from his touch. He was loosing her and he did not know what to do. Even Victoria tried to make Brooke see that it was good to have Lucas around but Brooke stayed mute for hours and did not look at them. She was gone and no one knew what to do. Of course she was in therapy but nothing would help that fast. And the therapy could not take away the events; it could only help her deal with it.

xxxxxxxxxx

School started and to all of their surprise Brooke did not miss the first day. "Hello pre…", he stopped immediately and replaced the word "pretty girl with honey". He wanted to take his arm around her but Brooke hugged herself tight and did not let him touch her.

"Hello", Brooke whispered. He was even happy to hear a word coming out of her mouth. Even if it was only a hallo. At least her voice was not gone totally. Brooke stayed mute in class and everyone could see that the cheery Brooke was gone. She did not listen to anything that the teacher was saying and it worried them how skinny she was.

The girls went to lunch after the class and as expected Brooke did not eat anything. "Brooke. You have to eat.", Haley said calmly and touched Brooke's skinny arm.

"I am not hungry.", Brooke whispered and looked out of the window.

"But…"

"No but Rachel. I am not hungry. So leave me alone.", Brooke stormed out of the school. It was too much for her. Everyone was staring at her, everyone wanted something from her and all she wanted right now was being left alone. Nothing more. Why couldn't they just stop caring? She did not care. Why should others? She ran and ran and ran until she bumped into someone.

"Ouch.", both of them fell to the ground. "Open your damn eyes." Brooke looked at someone she did not really like very much. "Have you eaten your tongue or what happened?", Alex stood up.

"Oh shut up.", Brooke stood up as well and wanted to walk the other way but Alex walked after her, "Could you please leave me alone."

"Why are you looking like shit? Brooke Davis: The one and only. Popular. Boyfriend and rich.", Alex laughed at Brooke. There had always been a rivalry between them. Alex had been in love with Lucas for years but he had chosen Brooke.

"Fuck you.", Brooke said back.

"Oh what happened? Mommy dearest and daddy left you alone again? Stop feeling pity for yourself. You have everything you need."

This was too much for Brooke. She jumped onto Alex and hit the shit out of her, "Leave me alone. Just all of you. Get out of my life and let me die. I am not worth living. I am dirty and ugly and…", Brooke broke down and hid between her legs. Alex did not really know what to do and wiped her bloody nose. She had not expected those words out of Brooke Davis' mouth. She was probably the only one that did not know about her rape. The whole town knew it but Alex had been in the psychiatry.

"I am sorry.", Alex finally said but Brooke stood up and ran away. She ran to the bridge and looked down at it. She thought of it: Why shouldn't she jump? Everybody would be happier without her and she'd end her suffering. She took one step forward.

"Whoaaaa. Brooke stop.", Alex was shocked to see what Brooke was about to do.

"I hate my life.", with that Brooke jumped of the bridge without hesitation. Alex ran towards the spot and screamed in shock. Unfortunately no one was near them, so she ran downstairs and jumped into the water and swam towards Brooke who was not moving.

"Oh my god. Oh my god.", she pulled Brooke to the shore and searched for a pulse but there was not one. So she did CPR and was relieved when Brooke started to breathe and puked out the water. Brooke did not really understand what was happening but the next sensation she felt was a hard fist colliding with her cheek.

"Are you crazy? Killing yourself? What on earth is wrong with you?", Alex asked shocked and could not breathe normally. Brooke looked sadly at her.

"Why did you safe me. Why did you safe me?", she started to cry and this time Alex took her arm around her and let her sob into her chest.

"Shhh…it's okay.", Alex whispered and could still not believe that Brooke Davis was such a broken girl. She always appeared to be so strong.

"Why did you do it?", Alex asked shocked but Brooke stood up and wiped her tears and answered coldly.

"That's none of your business and if you tell anyone I'll make your life the worst possible."

"No no no. You stay here now. You cannot just jump off a bridge and then cry in my arms and not tell me why you did that. Are you nuts? Killing yourself? Boy problems are not that big to do that."

"Boy problems? I wish I had them you bitch.", Brooke screamed back and started to shiver.

"Well then what is it? Nothing that worse can happen in your Brooke bubble that you jump of a bridge. Stop being so dramatic.", this time Brooke slumped to the ground.

"I can't. I can't do it any more. I want to be happy but I can't. I just can't. Everybody suffers because of me. But I cannot get them out of my mind."

"Who?", Alex asked a little worried.

"I was raped. Fine Alex. Rape", it was the first time that she said it out loud, "Brooke Davis, the cheery and popular cheerleader was raped by four men. And they told me how great my body was. They touched me everywhere and they took away my pride. Are you happy now? You can have Lucas because he sure does not need a filthy whore like me. I am dirty and ugly and their handprints are on every part of my body. I hate my body. I just hate me.", Brooke started to scratch herself again but Alex fell down besides her and took her hands into hers.

"Brooke Davis. You are not ugly or a filthy whore although I've probably called you this before. I see a broken but beautiful and way too skinny girl. And those…those bastards will get punished for that and…please don't do that again.", Alex cried as well. Brooke looked confused at Alex and then Alex took a deep breath and showed her a big scar on her wrist.

"I used a razor and it did not even hurt while I did it. I…I….thought it would be better to be gone. But…but I know it is not and you make those bastards succeed. They may have assaulted your body but it's still you that can heal your sole and nobody can take away that. So do you understand me Brooke Davis. Don't do that.", Brooke looked shocked at Alex and both of them cried for hours in each other's arms.

"Why did you do it?", Brooke whispered after some time.

"Well…daddy dearest loves me in a way he should not do and…mommy…well…looks away for years.", Brooke was the first to know Alex' secret except of Julian. She did not know what to answer and looked shocked at Alex. Alex just smiled back.

"Well, you're not the only one who hates her body. Although we are pretty hot, huh?", Brooke smiled softly.

"Thank you.", she whispered exhausted. "Did you talk to anyone about that?"

"Well, no. I don't want anyone to feel pity with me. But I have Julian. He knows it and he cares. I don't live at home any more and…well my dad is in jail but those memories won't go away."

"Never?", Brooke asked shyly.

"No. But it gets easier living with it. I can assure you that!", Alex took her arm around Brooke's shoulder and for the first time she liked Brooke Davis. "How about we stop feeling pity with us but do something fun? Do you drink?"

Brooke raised an eyebrow, "I am still Brooke Davis."

"Great. Let's go to my apartment.", Alex held out her hand and smiled. Brooke hesitated a moment but then took it. They went into Alex' apartment and drank one tequila after another and watched movies. Brooke felt understood and it was good that Alex did not ask her any more questions.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Lucas heard his phone ringing, "Hello"

"Hey Luke. This is Alex. Your girlfriend is pretty wasted at my apartment. Could you get her?"

It did not take long that Lucas stood in the apartment and saw Brooke lying sleepily on the couch. "What happened?"

"Just a rough day.", Alex answered. Lucas nodded and took her into his arms and went to him. He wanted to bring her home but she insisted on going to his place. He laid her down on the bed and was shocked when she pressed her lips on his mouth. "Brooke."

"Just be quiet and kiss me back.", she went into his pants and although he missed her touched, he knew that this was wrong.

"Brooke stop."

"No Lucas. I need you. Please clean me. I need you now. Please. Are you that disgusted?"

"Of course not. I love you Brooke and no matter what they did to you, you are amazing and my girlfriend, the most beautiful girl on the planet. But I don't think that you're ready. I want to be intimate with you when you're ready and although I miss your touches I'll wait no matter how long. Do you understand me Brooke Davis. You are more than a prefect body.", Brooke looked up at him and started to sob.

"I love you.", she cried into his chest and held him tight. He had missed her that much in the last time and cried with her. He knew that it was just the first step but Brooke was letting him in again. He held her tight and wanted to protect her from anything. She cried for hours in his arms and when he wanted to leave to go to the bathroom she held him even tighter in fear.

"No. Please don't leave me.", she whispered and he took her up into his arms and carried her with him to the bathroom. They showered together and he washed her whole body softly and kissed all of her bruises she'd left on her body. He was worried. She was very skinny and her wrists looked horrible with all the scratches.

"I love you so much.", he went through her hair with the shampoo and enjoyed having such an intimate moment with her. One day his pretty girl would be back and he'd do anything to help her feeling safe in this world. Anything.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Okay, maybe some of you don't like that I added Alex. I did not like her on the show at first cause she was making Brooke's life very hard (with all the Brulian Ups and Downs) but I wanted to add a figure that somehow can respond to Brooke's feelings and understands her thoughts! I am really open to any suggestions. Someone wrote me that those b*** should come back but right now I feel like it's too much torture to make them hurt her again. I hope some of you are still reading even after the long gap.