Another chapter. Finally. I am sorry that it took me so long but a lot of things happened. I try my best to update faster. Thanks to EVERYONE who is still interested in the story! It means a lot to me!
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Brooke sat at the table and just looked disgusted at her meal. She knew that her mother was not going to give up but even after one hour she did not take one bite of it. "Honey, you have to eat.", Victoria did not know what to do with her daughter any more. Normally her daughter was an independent young woman that did not need her. Well, that is what she always thought but now her little girl was hurting herself more and more with every day and it seemed like Brooke did not want anyone around her.
"I can't, okay. I just can't.", Brooke cried and then threw the plate onto the ground and ran upstairs. Victoria looked after her broken daughter and knew that she had to get those bastards that had hurt her little daughter in the worst way possible. Then she looked at the plate and a tear fell down her cheek. She saw the blood on the broken piece of glass and went upstairs into Brooke's room. There, Brooke was lying under her blanket and cried heavily. Victoria took away the blanket and held her tightly.
"Show me your hand.", Brooke showed it to her and felt safe when Victoria bandaged it. Victoria then looked at the rest of Brooke's arm and saw all those marks. It hurt her so much that her own daughter was hurting herself. She knew that the therapist could not help her that fast but somehow she hoped for a wonder pill.
"I am sorry mom. I am so sorry. I don't know what to do.", Brooke cried into her chest and thought she would suffocate from her own tears one day.
"It's okay honey.", every day Victoria was surprised by her own kindness. She was a cold woman but lately her daughter made her feel like she had never felt before. She felt needed and she liked that feeling and she felt so much love that it scared her but she knew she would never let her daughter down again.
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Lucas lay in his bed and looked at his mobile. He had phoned Brooke a few times but she did not pick up her phone. It felt like the Brooke he knew was not there any more. There was a huge distance between them and he did not really know how to handle that. Of course he was there for her. Of course he would do anything but Brooke did not let him do it. She barely talked to him and she did not want him or anyone to touch her. It felt like she was dying a little more with each day.
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Although Victoria had forbidden Brooke to go out, Brooke climbed out of her window and walked over to Alex. "Hey Alex.", she smiled a little and took a sip from the alcohol in her hand. Alex and Brooke had become friends in the last time. Everyone was shocked and especially Haley, Rachel and Peyton did not know how to deal with it. It felt like Brooke did not want them around her at all.
"Hey don't drink that alone.", Alex took the vodka and made a grimace. "Pure Brooke? That's disgusting."
"No, it's not.", Brooke replied and then looked at Alex. "What happened? You look sad?"
Alex took a deep breath, "Well, I visited my dad in jail today and he told me how much he loves me. It's just hard, you know."
At first Brooke did not know what to say but then nodded, "I guess I know. Well then let's party today."
"Brooke. I think you should…"
"If you start like everyone else Alex then I'll go partying alone and you can just leave me alone.", Brooke looked madly at her. She did not need another bodyguard and just wanted to forget everything that had happened to her. Unfortunately nothing really worked.
"Fine. Let's go.", Alex took her arm around her newfound friend and then looked at her phone, "Shit Julian. I have a date with Julian today."
"Oh. A date?", Brooke said without any emotion.
"Ewww…no, not like that. He's my best friend. You know that. How about you come with me?", Alex suggested.
"No, it's okay. I just go partying by myself.", Brooke answered but Alex did not let her go and convinced her to come with her to Julian.
"Wow. That's a huge house.", Brooke whispered when she stood in front of Julian's house.
"Yup, he's pretty wealthy. But I don't think more than you are.", Alex joked and hugged Julian happily when he opened the door. Of course Julian knew about Brooke. Alex had told him everything but he could not believe how pretty Brooke was in reality. Of course he could tell that she was way too skinny and saw how she hid her wrists but there was something about her that immediately caught his attention. Alex immediately realized that Brooke amazed Julian.
"That's Brooke.", Alex pointed at her and Julian immediately got out of his trance.
"Hey. I am Julian. Nice to meet you. Come in.", he shook her hand and could tell that Brooke did not feel comfortable. It seemed like she was afraid of him and hugged herself.
"Do you want anything to drink?", Julian asked the two girls but Brooke shook her head without saying anything.
The three of them spent the whole night together. Alex and Julian talked constantly while Brooke just listened. Somehow she liked Julian. He was kind and pretty and funny too but she still felt unsafe around any men.
"Here, I made us a cake.", Julian said and came back with a big cake.
"Great.", Alex answered and immediately took a piece while Brooke hesitated.
"Don't you like chocolate cake?", Julian asked Brooke who looked helplessly. "Um…yes I do.", she faked a smile and took one piece. At first she only looked at it and did not know what to do. Even the smell of food made her sick. But then she just ate it fast and held her stomach in pain. It felt like she had eaten stones. "Um…where is the bathroom?"
"It's right over there.", Julian pointed at a blue door and Brooke immediately rushed into it and puked. She hated it but she could not control it any more and somehow afterwards she felt better. Nevertheless she cried. It was like her whole life was turned into a life that she hated. She hated herself, she hated her friends, she hated those men. Everything she once had loved so much was now only an object of hatred. She could not even stand Lucas' being at her side any more. Slowly she stood up again and walked outside.
Of course both of them, Alex and Julian, knew what she had done but they did not say anything. "How about a game?", Julian suggested.
"Pantomime.", Alex answered immediately, "I am going to be an actress and I'm very good at this." Julian laughed and Brooke just nodded unhappily but tried to suppress her tears.
"Um…a whale?", Brooke suggested when Julian made weird movements.
"A whale?", Julian looked shocked at her and then burst out into laughing. Brooke immediately blushed and then received a slap from Alex.
"A whale? That was me you idiot, not a whale.", Alex said and Brooke looked shocked at her.
"Oh…um…sorry.", Julian let himself fall on the couch and unintentionally touched Brooke's shoulder. She shivered immediately and jumped up. "Um…I have to go home.", she whispered and before they could protest, she ran out the door. She ran for an hour and then fell to the floor and cried. The tears streamed down her face and she started to hit the ground with her hand when she fell to her knees. It was too much. Everything was just too much. Her own life was too much and she did not know how to handle it anymore. She wanted to be the old Brooke but she did not know how.
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"So you know where they are?", Victoria talked to someone on the phone. "I don't care whether you get them alive or not. I want them to suffer. I want them to feel pain.", Victoria answered coldly. The man on the phone agreed.
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Karen Roe could not believe what was happening. Victoria Davis was sitting in her living room and crying. The Victoria Davis that would never cry, that would abandon her child for years and that only cared for money. Obviously that was wrong.
"And she won't eat any more. I have to literally force her and she scrapes herself and I don't know what to do any more Karen. I don't know it.", Karen took her arm around Victoria.
"Have you thought about the psychiatry?", Karen asked carefully. At first Victoria looked shocked at her but then she nodded.
"Yes I have. I mean she has a therapist but that won't help this fast and…but my child in the psychiatry? She will hate that and it is so wrong what happened to her.", Victoria tried to suppress her tears but nothing worked. It was again a new sensation for her and she had to get used to showing her vulnerability. Lucas listened to their conversation and felt very helpless. Brooke's world was falling apart. His pretty girl was not the one she used to be. He wished to get those men and kick the shit out of them. It drove him crazy that they were still somewhere out there and were not punished for everything they had done to one young woman. Those men had not only destroyed Brooke's life but also many others's more.
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Brooke looked into the mirror and did not like what she saw. She was not the pretty girl any more. She was skinny, her eyes looked tired because she could not sleep at night, her hair was a mess and there was no sign of hope in her. She opened her diary and started to write.
"I am not me any more. I don't know who I am. I look at myself in the mirror and I flinch because I don't recognize myself. I hate my life. I hate myself. All I want to do is sleep and forget but I can't. I smell them. I see them every minute and I wish they killed me. I don't want anyone around me and I feel guilty that everyone suffers because of me. I don't want them to suffer. They should just forget me. I am just a burden now and they are better off without me. I am not the Brooke any more everybody wants me to be. I am not tigger, pretty girl or whatever. It feels like being alive but being dead at the same time. I am too weak. I can't do it any more. I just can't. I am sorry everyone. I tried but it's too hard. I am so sorry. Please just forget me and live a happy life.", she looked at the pills in her hand. A tear came down her cheek but she did not even feel it any more. Maybe those pills would release her?
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