I'd like to thank DragonFire44 for reminding me to fill in a very important plot hole :D though I was going to fill it at a later date, I figured I'd just do it now and save everyone the confusion.

QE: The reason Dei didn't freak out when he learned Tobi was an Uchiha was because his hatred for Uchiha started with Sharingan, and Madara had his deactivated when he and Dei met up.

Disclaimer: No. Still don't own Naruto. 4463 WORDS!

(Rant*rave*rant*rave*START!)

Just beyond the village limits of Kusagakure the villagers were bustling about, going on with their daily lives, going to the market, going to stores. Children were just out of the academy for the morning and were playing games that stretched from the front steps of the academy building all the way to the edge of the forest where a 'test of courage' happened to be taking place.

Yes, a test of courage indeed.

One little black haired boy was being shoved into the tree line by two taller (Obviously a couple years older) twin girls, a group of kids were standing behind them, some were cowering in fear others were literally jumping up and down awaiting their turn to go.

It amused the elder Uchiha who was walking by with his blond partner, especially when the girls finally succeeded and the boy fell face first into a cluster of Yellow Rattle plants.

The night in the cave had been interesting to say the least, Deidara had fallen asleep against Madara's side after sitting in silence listening to sound of the rain for about an hour.

As it turned out, Uchiha's were not that comfortable, they had bony shoulders.

Ah and speaking of rain, it seemed the storm was finally over. The sun was out, the sky was clear and everything was sparkling.

(A/N:Wow actual detail? somebody call an exorcist, the authoress has been possessed by the spirit of a semi-decent writer!)

Ugh, sweet thoughts, block them out, block them out.

'Don't fight the beauty!,' Tai yelled with a Tobi like enthusiasm.

"I can fight it if I want to!," Madara hollered back.

He could and he would.

Because Uchiha's don't swoon over pretty things.

Of course that doesn't mean he can't enjoy it on the inside, he liked the smell of the world after a good rain. It was like what inarizushi was to the taste buds, too sweet for some, addicting to the more adventurous folk.

And old people.

Yes, the smell of dew was cat nip for the elderly.

Looking over to his left to the (Slightly ironically) dewy rice paddy, he almost smiled. He had needed something to calm him after all the terrors he had the night before and for whatever reason something as simple as a quaint little paddy full of women harvesting the years first harvest always calmed him.

Perhaps it had something to do with traveling so much with Izuna.

Madara nodded his head to himself.

That was probably it.

TaiTai suddenly gave a loud angry roar, all specks of the 'Tobi' attitude gone,'I swear, if Deidara flips his hair like that one more time I'm going to smack him,'

Hn, that was another reason he tried to find solace in the fields.

Deidara kept messing with his hair.

Flicking it over his shoulder, tossing his head to clear stray hairs from his eyes, which only fell because he seemed to have lost his headband (the Uchiha couldn't remember if he had lost it during the battle or while he was hiding from ANBU, either way it was gone)

It was okay at first but he did it every couple of minutes, this started when they left the mine and If he did it again Madara would gladly smack him himself.

As if he was reading the Uchiha's thoughts Deidara went to flip his hair again.

'He's doing it again!,'

Really? Sweet Kami.

Madara snapped his annoyed gaze and attention to the younger ninja just in time to see him push his hair back off his shoulder, the sway of his step and him fixing his -stupid- hair revealed the skin of his neck.

The elder's gate slowed as he stared in surprise at the flash of blue and purple.

Was that a bruise on his neck?

TaiTai made a nasally 'oohing' noise,'Maybe he fell?,' it was more a question than a statement.

~Maybe he fell~...Hn.

The blond suddenly stopped walking, the raven quickly followed suit, watching with moderate interest,"We are going to get lumber first? yeah," Deidara asked a little unsurely.

Madara blinked, "Uh, yes,"

"So what do we need? hmm,"

"We just need a few 2x4's, some wood sheets, a ground wire, pipes," he let himself trail off, they needed more than that but the list was so long it would take the entire trip just to name them all.

Okay that was an exaggeration.

But not by much.

It wasn't like Deidara understood what he was talking about anyway so it would be a waste of breath to name everything off, he didn't know how to patch a roof or create plumbing or construct a porch out of raw materials, things like that required planning.

The ex-Iwa may have been smart enough to do it but it went against his saying of 'Art is a work of fleeting passion', there was no way he would put out the work effort.

Construction and repair, In the long run they were more Sasori's and -apparently- Tobi's department.

0 Meanwhile 0

Many miles away, crouching beside the feet of the Madara statue at the Valley of The End, was Zetsu.

He was pulling the things said Uchiha had hid there out from a hole carved into the side of the statues sandal and was examining each new find with curiosity.

"It is his cloak and his mask," The black half said after the dominant side finished unfolding the neatly folded cloak.

"And his ring," White Zetsu held up the object by the silver band, the stone flashed and he grunted.

He would get back to that later, there was something hidden within the inner pockets of the cloak that caught his attention the second he laid his hands on it.

As Kuroi spoke the lighter half began to dig in search of what nagged him,"Well, we know he isn't dead,"

White Zetsu blinked at the handful of sprigs wrapped in a white cloth, why on earth would Madara need herbs?

Curiosity quelled, he placed the plants inside his own cloak,"Yes and he is in Kusa," he said turning his attention back to the ring.

"What? How do you know?,"

"The ring told me," The white half said ominously, feeling his other half attempt to glare at him he sighed,"There's a message on the ring,"

Kuroi sweated,"Oh...Play it man!,"

(I just noticed that I named the lightning dude Shiro, which means white. Sorry Zetsu!)

0 Time Skip! 0

A perky looking brunette smiled at the blond criminal with glee, "Down the hall to your right sugar!," she said, pointing down the hallway to her left with her green ballpoint pen.

Deidara stiffly turned on his heel away from the cashiers desk and headed to the bathroom, his hair clumped with mud, his face splashed with brown streaks that were once wet and runny.

His clothes were strangely clean though.

Clean for someone who tripped over air and face planted in a puddle that is.

"Stay here Tobi! yeah," Deidara called over his shoulder, his form disappearing in the crowd of people filing through the hall.

Madara 'tsked', he could barely manage enough energy to walk from store to store why would he give up his rest time? he sat down on one of the benches by the desk, earning a wink from the flirty cashier .

He smirked and leaned back in his seat before noticing the table beside him.

On that table was a little blue, hand sized book.

A Bingo Book.

Might as well, Dei could be a while, that boy and his hair. It was like a love triangle of sorts.

Madara chuckled, Triangle. If that wasn't wishful thinking.

He flipped open the Bingo book, skimming over the bounties, some of them he had no doubt Kakuzu would probably go after some of them.

He flipped to the S-class section at the back, sliding up into a less relaxed, much more rigid posture as he flipped through them. Like usual, there was Itachi and Kisame, two of the three the villages actually knew about.

But Deidara's page seemed to be missing.

"It was probably torn out by a bounty hunter," he reasoned.

Yes, that was it, bounty hunters and their crude ways, defiling public files. he tossed it onto the little table next to him where he got it from and sagged in his seat again.

His leg bounced as he tried to think of ways to entertain himself, TaiTai wanted to play I-Spy but Madara wasn't having any of it, there were only six different colors in the front store room he was sitting in, it wouldn't exactly be a very fun game when you immediately know what the object is.

The ticking of the cashier girls pen on the counter was like the seconds ticking by on a clock.

"Boy," That was like the midnight chime.

"Momo," Madara greeted with a nod.

'Great the hag is back,'

Momo looked overjoyed at the sight of the Uchiha,"It is good to see you are still alive!," she exclaimed with a smile,"I sensed your chakra in the forest on the day of the festival I was worried Shiro might have gotten you!,"

'What the hell is she talking about there wasn't anything going on in the village,'

How would he know? this was the first time Madara had been to the village since...Well you know.

'Yes but you can hear fireworks dodo,' Tai did have a point. Unless they didn't have fireworks, but what kind of stale festival wouldn't have fireworks?

"Me and my friend are fine, we didn't run into any trouble," Madara said, straitening himself back up.

He should make it look like he cared, this woman was giving him something more productive to do than sit and be ogled by a girl a good 85 years his junior.

'Probably because Shiro is just something her elderly cheese mind cooked up to scare people into buying more of her herbs,'

Madara resisted the random urge to grind his teeth,"Would you shut up?,"

'If she dies right now then yes I will shut up,'

The Uchiha made the motion of mouthing a 'Well' -which Momo didn't even notice-.

That was a tempting offer.

But the old woman probably wouldn't live much longer, you know being elderly and all that, so killing her seemed like poor taste to Madara, why waste the energy on somebody Death will come and receive on its own?

"You're still sick,"Momo stated matter-of factly,"Momo's herbs don't fail, Momo knows all about curing illness and if you didn't take your medicine I can only assume you didn't give that friend of yours his either," she crossed her arms, taking on a 'motherly' stance.

'She's knows all huh? Then I suppose she could get rid of me,'

"Don't make me ask her," Madara followed the woman's example, though the whole arm crossing effect wasn't the same. It felt kind of awkward with the way he was sitting.

"There was an accident, we couldn't find each other for a while,"

"He is still alive?,"the herbologist (1) looked genuinely surprised at the news.

Madara nodded.

"I'm surprised," Momo put on a thoughtful expression, "Tell me does he know anything about herbs my boy?," she asked after a pause.

"Well he never mentioned it but I suppose he could," Madara answered unsurely.

"What village is he from?,"

Maa, he got what she was getting at.

Only, there was one problem.

"Um...Iwa?," His mind went blank as he tried to remember, was it Iwa or Kiri? What was on his headband?

Wait, he lost his headband during...

During...

Fuck he knew this.

*sigh* This was pathetic.

"You aren't sure?," Momo said for him almost sensing the struggle he was having with himself.

"I can't remember," and it was depressing.

Momo placed a hand on his cheek, "It's no wonder, you're burning up boy," she pulled open the flap of the long strapped leather bag that hung by her hip and dug through, pulling out a clear plastic bag full of dried leaves, she handed it to him,"Here, these were going to be for my daughter but I can see you need them more," She smiled gently,"Be sure to take them this time,"

Madara nodded, "I will," he put the bag on his lap, he didn't have a cloak to stash it in this time around, this was going to be a chore, carrying it around all day.

"Swear it," Momo growled with an evil glare.

"Hn,"

"Good boy," The woman's happy demeanor returned,"Have a good day," she walked off.

Madara started to relax in his seat again.

'Hey, wait call her back!,'

Oh for the love of Kami what did he want now?

"Why?," Madara asked with a loud sigh, the cashier rose an eyebrow at his sudden irritated expression.

'Just do it hurry!,'

"Hold on,"

Momo looked back, "hm?,"

'Ask her what the side effects of those herbs she gave us for Dei's infection are, DON'T ask why,'

'Don't ask why' pft, asshole.

no matter what Madara thought about TaiTai's follow up 'order' -if it could even be called that- he still asked.

"Tell me, what are the side effects of the herbs you gave me for my friend?,"

Momo stroked her chin,"Let's see, nausea, blurred vision, swelling of the tongue, lose of bladder control, swelling of the joints, pain in the joints, hair loss, a slim possibility of your toe nails turning purple , mood swings-," Madara rose a hand to stop her.

"Define 'mood swings',"

"Violence and depression,"

'There goes my theory,'

"Though, if I am thinking what you're thinking, then your friend might have ingested the wrong plant by mistake,"

This woman was amazing, that was exactly what he was thinking.

Well part of what he was thinking.

If Dei ingested a plant that could help him but had some strange side effect -eg, mood swings and loss of balance- he could have fallen or tripped and smashed his head, that would explain the bruise he saw earlier.

And the mood swings plus head trauma would explain 'Super FC Mode'.

'That seems plausible,'

It really was understandable, when you're in excruciating pain and your arm is melting from the inside out you just want the hurt to stop.

The adrenaline of having to run from the ANBU probably helped quell the pain a bit, it would have given him enough relief to search for herbs. The forests of Kusa were more than famous for a reason, medicinal herbs were abundant because of its rich soil and rainy seasons.

That's when the myths and legends surrounding the deeper parts of the forest first became more known.

The villagers of Kusa used them to scare away those looking to pick their way of living clean of all the herbs.

Why the fuck didn't he think of that before?

Damnit, these black outs were proving to be annoying.

"He's been very happy lately, for the past week he's been smiling and laughing," Madara heard TaiTai 'shiver' in his head.

"And he isn't dead," A sweat and a head shake, Madara was pretty certain of that. Momo mumbled something under her breath, the words 'Ephedra' and 'Psychoactive' were the only things Madara made out.

Wait Ephedra, why did that sound so familiar.

The old herbologist's voice rose knowing he caught what she said, it wasn't the first time she encountered a ninja,"Anything psychoactive would explain many things, how he is still alive being one of them,"

Madara ran a hand across his face, psychoactive, that was one thing that immediately clicked.

'Seems our little brat is swooning on cloud 9 with some gutter trolls,'

But hell they had been together for a solid week he never saw him...

"The tea," It was like the epiphany of all epiphanies.

"Yes, it is an herb usually brewed into tea, if it is consumed fresh and whole it's potency is much higher,"

Wasn't that the reason the most herbs brewed into tea?AH NO! That isn't important, focus for a second. He remembered Deidara asking if he would brew him a cup of tea out of some dead grass, that's what it looked like at the time anyway, that he had stashed in his sandal.

He thought it was weird, especially when it was brewing, giving off a sour aroma like rotting lemons not only that but It tasted off, not poisonous just-.

Well, off.

Madara thought it was just because it was in a shoe for Kami knew how long.

Obviously he had been a bit wrong.

'AHHA! So I was right after all, I shall return in a moment,'

"He was gone for almost a week,"

Momo hummed,"To subdue an infection in such a short amount of time he must have eaten the first couple of batches raw. It is an unconventional herb but from the sounds of it your friend must have known he was ill and searched out specific plants that would keep him alive,"

Momo went on to tell Madara that it would be out of his system soon and not to worry, that Deidara would be back to normal possibly by Wednesday.

Which was only three days away.

The Uchiha was feeling kind of giddy, he hadn't heard news that good since Zetsu told him the two tails had been captured and extracted, it was fantastic! Now to go get the bomber a 'Welcome Back' gift.

Hell he could go now and be back in time to catch Deidara coming out of the bathroom, no problem.

(Note: There are 48 chapters between the extraction of the 2 tails and Deidara's death, ID first flashback in Chap 1 to narrow down timeline furthur, look for who isn't there)

Zetsu fazed out of the ground and looked around, both sides groaned loudly out of annoyance.

"Damn we just missed him," The black half cursed.

"Is it just me or is his chakra somehow different?," the white half asked.

"Yeah I noticed that too,"

There was nothing more different than having it spike dangerously for a few minutes before withering down to almost a surpressed form. It was like a distress call only Zetsu knew it wasn't, so what was causing it.

"I think we should tell Pain,"

"About what? The message or the chakra?,"

"Both,"

By the time the black side agreed, they were already heading back to Ame.

0 0 0

"Exactly how do you expect us to haul all of this back to the house? yeah," A now less than sparkling clean -but still cleaner than before- Deidara asked with a heavy sigh.

His hand was on a thick plank of wood that was the only thing holding up the other stacks of lumber, the dry wall, the concrete bags, the hammer, the rolled up tatami mats and the box of nails stacked procariously and messily.

Deidara knew something was going to fall, that's why he was standing off to the side holding it, he didn't want to be in its way when everything came tumbling down and everything that happened to be sharp and point was hurled into anybody unlucky enough to be walking by.

"With this," Madara -who was holding up another plank of wood on the other side of the pile- tossed him a hand size brown pouch over the barrier between them..

Deidara pulled on the end of the slipknot tie that kept it closed with his teeth.

"...Clay? yeah," he eyed the white C2 with interest and mild surprise.

"Yeah, I finally realized why you've been acting so strangely, figured this might make you feel better," Madara answered with a shrug.

Deidara gave him a quizzical look.

"You know, you've been, happy,"

The blond merely blinked and went quiet after that.

They flew back to the shack in an uncomfortable silence on one of Deidara's birds. Madara usually liked quiet, that's why he stayed alone or with Nagato or Itachi and had Dei as his partner, but he didn't like this.

No, not at all.

When they reached the hobble Madara decided that since there was plenty of time to get some work in before sunset they could start work right away.

Deidara didn't protest.

TaiTai on the hand...

Well it isn't important, he is just a lazy conscience.

An incredibly lazy, vocal conscience, did that mean that the uchiha -beneath his mask of hyperactivity- was actually dull and lazy? Madara didn't doubt it, but as long as it didn't show its ugly head he didn't see a problem with it.

Who wasn't a little lazy anyway?

"Hand me the nails,"

Ah yes, back to the task at hand.

Madara's idea was that he could fix up the shack and turn into a kind of 'get away' spot. He didn't plan on telling anyone about it, only letting Dei, himself and all the animals at the Falls know about its existence.

It seemed the reconstruction of sorts was going well at first. 'At First' being the key phrase here, Deidara hadn't said a word or even looked at Madara since they left the village. Once the blond zipped his trap it was closed tight.

But the elder could tell it was killing the Iwa to keep quiet, he guessed the effects of whatever the hell he ate -whether it was Ephedra or Lala juice or some type of fermented fruit- really had worn off quickly.

He didn't want to say it was irony no matter how many time TaiTai yelled it.

No it wasn't ironic, it wasn't strange, it wasn't idiotic, it was irritating.

Going from Deidara to random creepily happy guy then back to Deidara was like climbing a mountain, you work hard to get to the top, stumbling and sliding back down with every couple of steps you take then when you finally reach the top, when you finally reach your goal, you go right back down and move on.

What kind of sense did that make?

Madara slammed the box of nails down on the ground by his knee, "I can't take you acting like this anymore, it is ridiculous,"

"What the hell are you talking about? Hmm," Deidara finally spoke.

That old pissy, short fused teenage voice would've been the equivalent to a choir of Gods if Madara wasn't back to his usual fuming self.

"Gee I don't know, how about you acting like a clown? Being all happy and smiling and laughing and talking to me and not in any way reacting when I told you I was an Uchiha! The clan you despise with a passion!," Madara said sarcastically, "Or maybe it's how you suddenly turned back into your usual brat like, selfish self that got us in this predicament in the first place,"

Deidara gapped in disbelief,"You're pissed at me for acting happy? yeah,"

"Yes, no," Did it matter in the long run, no, no it did not, either way Deidara was going to be fully back to normal, it was time to push him over the cliff, there was no going back now,"What I mean is, you're never happy around me, ever. You're always pissed, that's how I got this!," The Uchiha tugged up his sleeve to show a scar stretching from his elbow down to his wrist

Deidara winced.

"QUIT DOING THAT!," he roared.

"You want me to be pissed off...Hm, fine, hmm," Deidara seethed, "You fucking, inconsiderate, Uchiha, Sharingan, Cursed, Asshole, Fucktard, Bitch, ARGH!,"

'Woah I think we over did it,' Tai said in astonishment.

Che, where was the bastard five minutes ago.

Madara watched his partner pace back and forth as he cursed and ultimately returned to his old hot tempered ways.

While he listened to Tai comment on everything Dei said.

When the blond said all Uchiha's where fucked in the head and nothing but violent, Tai scoffed and said that he was one to talk.

What with his 'art' blasting away anybody and everything in its path.

When Deidara punched a tree and said that Uchiha's were stupid.

Tai countered with his usual, 'I know you are but what am I,' that while extremely childish, Madara had to admit was true and kind of funny, funny enough for his fevered mind to make him chuckle out loud.

Big mistake.

Deidara glared at Madara and growled something just as Tai laughed loudly.

Shit, what did Deidara just say? he had no idea.

Had he taken a single breath since he started cussing? Madara didn't know he was distracted and couldn't listen! Damnit Tai!

'It isn't my fault you can't multitask!,'

"Yes it is so just shut up for once!,"

Tai immediately shut up at the amount force Madara had put behind his words. The Uchiha turned his attention to Deidara as soon as it was quiet in his head, hoping that he might catch at least the end of the insults.

It sounded strange but he liked to hear what insults people could come up with to insult him, besides the usual 'You're such a freak' or 'You're a madman'.

Seriously how unoriginal can you be.

Argh! His own thoughts were just as bad as TaiTai!

"-You lied to me!," he managed to catch.

That was not an insult.

"When did I ever lie to you? I've always told you the truth," Madara growled back deeply.

That was NOT an insult at all.

"Then why didn't you tell me you were an Uchiha?~! yeah," Deidara's glare intensified seven fold.

That whatever it was had been like a thousand Gentle Fists below the belt.

"Nobody knows!,"

"Except for everyone!,"

"Itachi is hardly everyone Deidara," The raven scoffed. He stopped mid eyeroll as he noticed what had slipped out of his mouth.

'What?,' Tai peeped in confusion.

What indeed.

Deidara grumbled and with a huff turned and began walking away.

"Deidara wait," Madara ordered.

The Iwa picked up pace and disappeared into the coverage of the tree line.

'Why the hell did you mention Itachi? seriously, what was the point of that?,'

Madara didn't know what to think, he hadn't had any control, it just came out of his mouth. He thought about following Deidara and dragging him back, the hell if he was going to miss his chance and end up having to actually look for the brat.

Tai groaned a 'Nah' ,'Let's just leave him alone for a while, he'll come back,'

Madara hoped he was right.

'Meanwhile we have a job to finish,'

Right, the ninja ran a hand through his hair, back to work.

TBC (this is long I am sorry)

(1). Lol I uh, spelled this so wrong that even Spell check didn't understand XD

Yeah I know the explanation was stupid, but when you think about it, it would make a bit of sense. If he was found by a ninja that wasn't of Kusa he would have been either killed or captured and traded in for his bounty. I really wanted to maintain that Dei wouldn't have been willing to fight in his condition.

to be honest I did want to make it a jutsu, but why would it change his personality? :o wouldn't that be a little suspicious? plus the only person I think could or would put him under a jutsu would be Sasuke to try and get info on Itachi, which once again brings up the question, why would Dei act different? I love the idea but, doesn't really fit in, in the long run.

Thank you for reading! Please review, favorite and all that good stuff! BYE!