I'm terribly sorry I couldn't post on Monday, ^^' finished like five paragraphs a day...took forever!

Why the hell would somebody play Chubby Bunny this late in the year?~!

The ticking of the old clock downstairs drifted throughout the house, lulling the little brunette girl sitting in the corner of the cozy warm room where Madara lay sleeping . The part of his face that had always been hidden beneath a mask, covered in bandages, smashing his hair. New gloves on his hands and a new shirt replaced the old tattered one.

His visible eye was twitching out of annoyance at the dream he was having. (That's right Uchiha's can be annoyed even when they're sleeping)

His hands followed suit.

And soon the rest of him did as well, shooting up from the bed, back strait as a board, mouth open in a roar, "FUCKING CATERPILLARS!," (A/N: If you're up to date with the manga that joke makes a lot more sense, if not, many apologies)

Hiro meeped, snapping wide awake and frantically shooting her around from side to side looking for some invisible monster.

The door creaked open and Momo walked in clutching her hand,"I hope you're happy, you nearly scared my poor cat half to death," she said in a dark tone.

"It's true sensei,"

POV

"You should apologize," I saw Itachi's face twitch, threatening to break his blank expression with a small humorous smirk.

"Itachi..." So, Nagato sent Itachi to me in my time of weakness. A Coup d'etat to end me once and for all perhaps? I chuckled at that.

Right and pigs can fly.

My past student lowered his voice back to its usual somber tone,"Sensei, I am going to get right to the point, you've been unconscious for a week,"

wow, 'Strait to the point' he was serious.

I rose an eyebrow,"Why? What happened?,"

"You saved Deidara sensei, remember?," No shit, that wasn't what I meant. Rolling my eyes I began to think about what he had called me.

Hn, Sensei. Itachi never calls me that without a purpose. It was encoded in the brats DNA.

Which meant he did it on purpose.

I eyed him curiously as he shifted his weight to one foot and tucked one his arms inside his cloak, such a silly little habit.

So caught up in watching him and his fickle little quirks I didn't notice Momo had walked up behind me with a piece of ice until it was too late.

My arm flexed as the cold wetness crept across my skin, "Cold, cold, cold," I'll admit it okay? I whined like a child at the unwanted feeling. I never liked the cold. Just because I was born in Winter doesn't mean shit.

"Oh, hush you. This is for your own good, I'm going to have to apply a balm to your burns and trust me," The old hag pressed the ice into the closest sensitive burn she could find, "You want it to be as numb as possible,"

I frowned but tried to ignore it, turning back to Itachi for a distraction.

"It's pretty quiet, is he still asleEEAP!," I cried as the ice cube or whatever it was slid down my side.

"Whoops, sorry,"

Fucking bitch.

Itachi's expression remain still, while his eyes flickered with some kind of pity.

My heart dropped down into my stomach. Had he not made it?

My student sighed lightly,"He's fine right now," I was right he is here to kill me.

"Boy you almost gave me a heart attack," I said with relief in my voice, my hand raising to hold the place above my pounding heart.

He shook his head and grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "You need a heart to have a heart attack." now that's just cruel. Heh.

xItachi's POVx

Hn, his eye. There was a hundred different emotions swimming in its dark surface -Fear, relief, annoyance, some type of joy.-, as he placed a hand on his chest and chuckled a chuckle that I had never heard from him before.

It sounded like something someone would do when they were told good news after a major disaster.

I Smirked knowingly, it's nice to know the reasons behind his actions for once.

My smirk slowly dropped though, seeing his eyes glaze over and drift to the corner of the room. I wonder what he's thinking?

x Nobody's POV x

Itachi soundlessly glided over to stand at Madara's side,"The entire time you were asleep you were whispering to yourself, declarations of love and the denial of love," he leaned closer towards his teachers ear,"For Deidara,"

Madara blinked as if snapping out of a daydream, his ears having picked up what the younger Uchiha had said.

The young man shrugged,"I was curious. So with permission from Leader, I entered your dreams,"

The spiky haired Uchiha growled,"You had no right,"

"You are right, I didn't, I apologize. But I did and honestly I found what I saw to be quite amusing," Itachi's arm dropped back into his sleeve so he could throw them open dramatically, "One giant collage of memories bound together into one fever induced fantasy world. And all the time before that I had wondered why you saved Deidara,"

"You've been spending too much time with Pain," Madara mumbled.

"And you have spent far too much time in that dreamland of yours," Itachi countered.

The elder narrowed his eye,"Why should I believe you? Why should I think for a second that what I know for a fact has happened, has never really happened?," the younger cast him a scrutinizing look,"Don't examine me like that none of you have ever given me any reason to trust you, so why should I? With something as serious as this..."

"Because it is that serious. You don't have to trust us anymore than you expect us to trust you. Even mortal enemies hear each other out," Itachi said almost pleadingly.

Madara thought that over, then nodded, letting Itachi go on in his explanation.

"You're untreated fever, you got sick on your way to gather information from an informant a week before Deidara and your run in with Sasuke," Yes, he remembered that it was a solo mission,"And you caught a fever, Kisame noticed the last time he saw you, he said your face looked like rice paper. sensei your brain was literally being cooked inside of your body, "

It was Momo's turn to speak up,"I can't imagine what effects such a high temperature and lack of sleep combined can do to the mind," she peeped.

"Because of your ability," Itachi stressed that word, "it will be no surprise if you have irreversible damage,"

So, the time they spent together...All that time he had spent searching for Deidara.

"None of it happened?,"

Itachi shook his head,"It did. It just didn't happen exactly as you had imagined during your fever. For instance the house in Rikudo falls, the one you fantasized as being a paradise for yourself," I nodded,"Is right here, you're in it, and it is the home of Kusagakure's best herbologist Momo Gasubana,"

As if on cue Momo pulled on the bandages she was rolling onto Madara's arm, pinching the skin and making him pout, "Ow,"

Itachi continued,"You saved Deidara and used your other ability to bring yourself and Deidara to Kusa forest because subconsciously you remembered who lived here, you bought herbs from Madam Momo on your way back from your solo mission, you were someone she calls an 'SSP',"

"Stubborn Shinobi Patient," The medic laughed,"You actually stayed here for quite some time. Your fever wouldn't break, no matter what I did, then one night you wouldn't stop mumbling about your comrade being abducted, you were gone the next morning,"

The elder chuckled dryly,"I went into battle bat shit insane," Deidara better not ever find out about that. His ass would be grass in a heartbeat. Didn't matter if he saved his life, hell that would be the incentive.

"Konan will come by in a moment," Nooooo, not her. "She's going to make sure you take the medicine that Madam Momo gave us. You were getting it through your IV before you left on your wild goose chase, but seeing as you're lucid now I'm sure you can handle pills," Itachi turned, looking back over his shoulder, waiting for the inevitable question.

"Where are you going?," there we are.

Itachi grunted,"To tell Leader you're back to normal or whatever your usual sanity level is classified as,"

He passed the woman standing in the doorway holding a little white paper cup in her hand. Madara quirked an eyebrow, how long had she been there?

"You better be thankful Nagato spared him the part about the prison raid and the attack on Konoha," Konan said once Itachi was out of ear shot -ninja earshot-.

She stepped into the room and handed Madara the paper cup which he glimpsed into curiously. He shot the same look over to Momo but she simply patted the tape securing the bandage to his arm and got up to leave.

Shrugging he threw back the clear capsules and ''swallowed'' them without any effort, "When can I see Dei?," he crumpled the cup up and tossed at Konan, who made a half assed attempt at batting it.

"Right now, if you're up to it, I just need to go put these up and I'll show you to his room.",the old medic piled the rest of her bandages and tape into the free flap of her apron,"Konan dear can you help a poor old woman?," she gave the younger woman the sweetest look she could muster.

Konan answered with an obviously forced smile and she was forced out the door by the old woman with superhuman strength.

After making sure they were gone, Madara turned his head and none too subtly spat the pills he'd stuffed under his tongue into his fist. So what if what itachi said made sense? He still didn't trust any of them, a long monologue about his mental health wasn't going to change that.

Momo suddenly peeked her head into the room, damn the old bat moves fast,"Are you coming or what?,"

0 0 0

Madara looked around the brightly lit, practically empty -aside from a certain bomber and a bed- room. The window was open letting in the smell of the rain and the humid cool breeze, Deidara was sitting up in his bed, a sheet draped over his lap and legs, looking out into the forest absent minded, though he did know his partner had arrived.

It was hard to ignore, Madara had swung the door open with so much force the door would have hit the wall had it not been for the hinges limited motion and the wind picked up by it ruined his concentration on the other chakra signatures in the house.

Madara couldn't help but gape like a fish at Deidara's hair, his reddened skin, slimy from some kind of balm and his bandaged hands.

"Fool, yeah," Deidara spat,"You should have...You should have just let things be," his voice morphing in Madara' ears, with every word the voice of TaiTai became even louder, "You Uchiha are so annoying, trying to control everything,"

"I saved you life, how is that trying to control everything?," The Uchiha latched his hand onto his wrist behind his back.

"It was not your business to butt into, yeah," The blonds hands clutched the sheet over his legs.

"Not my..." He was serious about this, he actually thought that... Madara sighed,"Your right, I should have just let you die. You could have gone to the after life peacefully unaware that Sasuke survived,"

Probably should have split that up, make it not so blunt. Too late now.

Ah well.

"HE WHAT?~!," Deidara exclaimed loudly, snapping his head around to look at Madara.

Said man twisted his finger around in his exposed -and ringing- ear,"Finally a reaction worthy of your character,"

The blond stared at him unblinkingly, before a firm look passed over his face,"Then I have a goal, hmm. To finish off Sasuke Uchiha once and for all, and succeed in becoming the ultimate art,"

"Life is already fleeting enough as it is,"

"Fuck you,"

Madara scoffed, If Dei was going to act like that then he was going to go Tobi on his ass. Just like old times.

Was this some kind of new idea? not at all. It was just for the hell of it. What could he lose? He didn't have to Dei to begin with, he probably wasn't going to have him at the end.

He may as well get SOMETHING out of everything he had to put up with.

Madara chuckled playfully,"Quite the enticing offer but I think I'll have to decline," he stepped closer to the bed,"I do believe you owe me something for my saving your life,"

Deidara shifted his eyes around, what was up with the sudden change in atmosphere?,"I don't owe you shit, you-!," his partner leaned closer, which meant his FACE was getting closer, no, no, no, no, no, no! He did not like this!, "Madara I'm warning you!,"

He sent Madara a glare as warning, trying to ward him off and figure out exactly what the hell he thought he was doing, "I'm serious! yeah,"

The taller ninja stalled -It was supposed to be a joke- but just for a second.

"Love is nothing but a weakness," he said, grabbing Deidara by the chin forcing his head further up,"But you're the exception,"

The blond couldn't stop the horror and surprise he felt from passing over his face as his partner, the once goofy as fuck Tobi, gently pressed his lips to against his own.

Not a joke anymore.

Madara snaked his arm around HIS bombers torso, bringing him closer when he felt HIS Deidara's bandaged hand reach up and snag the front of his shirt and when HIS Dei began to respond to the kiss on his own.

It wasn't a 'Romance scene kiss'. Not by a long shot. It looked more like the beginning of some kind of Guro Porn Manga with a hospital theme. Who cared? the ninja had finally gotten what he wanted.

That was until he felt Deidara's jaw lock up, like he was contemplating taking his chance to bite him.

And -at the very thought of getting injured- his ninja training and instincts kicked in, making him bite down instead.

The blond whined and he quickly let go of Deidara who would have fallen off the bed if he didn't have a death grip on the taller mans shirt. (A/N: this is why emotionally damaged people should never kiss others without the proper training on Teddy kiss-a-lot!)

Oh for the love of Rikudo! Can a good thing ever last?~! It finally happened and what? He fucking BIT him!

Deidara clasped a hand over his mouth, his pinky lightly touching the bleeding cut on his lip.

"Are you okay?," Madara put a hand out to pull his hand down but Deidara pivoted away from his touch, "Deidara I didn't mean to..." he sighed.

So, Itachi had told the truth and everything had gone to hell -That joke was too easy to make-. Smooth going, that damn two bit, trained circus poodle.

Telling the TRUTH, doesn't he know ignorance is sometimes the best thing for a person.

"Tobi," there was a light knock on the door, signaling the two that there was a less than welcomed visitor,"Granny told me to come bring you back to your room," Kisame said in small voice.

Madara looked him up and down, he was pale. Looked like he had seen a ghost or something.

"You boys better pray you didn't break anything!," Momo's voice rang like a siren.

The shark man rubbed his neck and grinned sheepishly, stepping out of the way of the Uchiha.

Madara looked once more to the blond who's loose falling hair had hidden his eyes, fingers still prodding the stinging wound on his face-, then with Kisame as escort went back to his room.

Where he stayed, sulking for the rest of the night.

Emotions suck.

(The medicine Mada was supposed to take was a tranq. (Sleeping pill)*shhhh* don't tell Momo he didn't take them)

Next morning

Madara stared at the completely uninteresting blank, wall across the room with a bored expression. Momo was changing his morning bandages -there weren't that many, only on his arms and a couple on his stomach and chest- Blabbering away about something Hiro ,who sat on the floor in the corner -where she usually was so she wasn't in the way- was playing with their pathetically struggling cat.

Poor thing was digging its nails into the floor as the little girl pulled her back to brush her with a stiff bristled brush.

The cat was only given a break when the door opened, making Hiro look away from her activity -A kitties version of torture-, letting the cat escape and bolt out said door bushy tailed, through Konan's legs.

Hiro chased after the cat, following the same path, attempting to dive through Konan's legs, the bluette simply raised her leg, stopping the inevitable colliding of the two before it ever happened.

That wasn't to say much about the pot plant out in the hall though.

*CLINK*

"I'm okay!,"

"What's that?," Madara asked, spotting the box she held, it was wrapped in a plain white cloth, you can understand the confusion when Konan said,"Deidara told me to give you this," She walked over and set it on his lap,"He promised it wouldn't explode,"

The two Shinobi heard Momo laugh quietly.

"Ooh, I smell blood,"

"GRANNY!,"

That laugh melted into an exasperated sigh,"Oh Kami, I had my hands full with ONE child," She put the roll of bandages she held down on the bed and stood from the stool she was sitting on,"Now I have a whole house full of 'em," she started to stomp out of the room.

"Don't be fooled, they're all quite civilized when you tell them to behave as such," The paper user said.

"I think a switch would pound it into them permanently," the door slammed.

Niether of the shinobi cared, Madara was too interested in his gift, as he stared at it for a moment with Konan watching on eagerly. She loved gifts, even if it wasn't for her she wanted to see what it was.

The elder mused as he began to pull back the wrapping.

There were no thanks uttered, no embrace like they always have in those cheesy romance novels when the prince saved the princess. No happy ending. Lots of blood though, yes lots and lots of blood.

And scars.

And yelling.

Even so as he carefully un folded the paper, the message Deidara had tried to convey was obvious.

Inside a glass box which made up the frame of the gift, sat a little white raven. It was one of Dei's creations. If anything that meant more to Madara than the blond could have imagined.

It drove him to want to carry out the fantasy he had created in his mind. He had leverage this time.

He still didn't like all emotions though. like lust. fuck that, that feeling is an ass.

"Konan..." Madara forced back the smile threatening to break his serious demeanor -not in front of Konan, not EVER-,"Before you leave I would just like to ask you something,"

Konan looked hesitant,"Alright,"

"Why don't you like the fact that I care for Deidara?,"

"I know you Madara, maybe not as much as Itachi, but enough to make a fair judgement of character." The bluette took a deep breath,"Madara, people like you can't love."

The Uchiha frowned.

"That's what I thought at least, however that bird you have there proves me wrong." Konan gave a small smile,"My dislike of the situation is that you will hurt Deidara-," Madara opened his mouth to object but she waved her hand,"Not physically or emotionally but psychologically. How would you go about him wanting to go off and train alone in the mountains to develop the new CX he's been working on?,"

CX huh? Well...If he wanted to do that.

"I'd let him go," Madara said seriously, "If that's what he wants...As long as he knows he's mine and swears not to self destruct again,"

"Such bold words,"Konan said with a small smile,"I can only hope you have the reserve to back up your statement."

(that was originally the ending but i don't feel like writing a separate epilogue!)

8 months later

The two toned plant man stood outside of Madara's new lab door, contemplating whether or not he should knock and let the man who called him know he was there, or if he should just go back to his green house.

Ever since the episode 8 months ago Madara had been acting...Strange.

It wasn't a drastic change no, but he did seem 'cheerier' every now and again.

It was really creepy.

Hesitantly Black zetsu lightly knocked, the buzzing sounds that could heard all the way down the hall stopped and there were light, echoing footsteps, before the door cracked open and Madara -back in his full masked glory- peeked out,"Ah, Zetsu, I'm glad you're here," he opened the door and ushered in the plant man.

Zetsu looked around curiously at all the tubes and wires, shelves and glass jars on the walls and ceilings.

"You have something to tell me," The elder said, closing the door.

Both halves of Zetsu blinked, how did he know?,"We saw one of Deidara's eagles heading north, we wanted to know if you wanted us to trail him,"

Madara shook his head with a small laugh,"I'm aware he left, I'm the one that told him the best place for training,"

See? 'Creepy'.

"You," the light half stuttered,"Uh" The darker half mimed,"Huh?,"

"Is it really so hard to believe that I would let him be on his own for a while?,"

"Yes, yes it is,"

"Well, honestly I did have my own selfish reasons for letting him leave," he pushed past Zetsu and headed to the metal exam table the two toned man seemed to have missed earlier. Picking up a long glass tube with several of the wires hanging from the ceiling attached to the black bumpy cap.

He eyed the object warily,"What's that?,"

Madara shook the tube, making the previously invisible clear liquid inside shake,"Zetsu, It's time for you to play as a distraction,"

0 0 0

Black Zetsu sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that hour, as white Zetsu once again looked at his imaginary wrist watch. They were waiting for the cell team of Konoha ninja.

They were SUPPOSED to be here an hour ago! It was boring as fuck just sitting here, even the squirrel that was currently standing next to the plant man, staring at him with wide almond shaped eyes and its nose twitching.

The little creature's tail flicked, it's nose rose in a sniffing motion, before it scampered off out of sight.

"FINALLY! You guys suck at being on time," White Zetsu said dramatically as the group of Konoha ninja landed on the forest floor below them.

"You," The Jinchuuriki co-leading the team of nine spat in disgust.

Zetsu -knowing what attack would be coming at him next if he didn't stop the pipsqueak- spoke up quickly,"Tsk, tsk, If you attack me I won't tell you where Sasuke is,"

"Sasuke?," Naruto whispered,"You have him?~!,"

"No. He's at the old Uchiha hideout, he's in pretty bad shape." At the mention of the hideout the entire group of Konoha shinobi perk in interest.

Sakura grew worried, "I'm afraid to ask why,"

"Four words. Itachi Uchiha is dead." That got many things out of the way, very quickly.

Thank the Sage for blunt and direct answers.

The team gasped themselves into silence, leaving Kakashi to step forward,"Why are you telling us this? what do you want," he demanded.

"Kakashi Hatake the little genius prodigy, always knows there's no such thing as a simple act of kindness," The copy ninja rolled his eye, some enemy this was."Our master simply wants Sasuke's file,"

"Huh?," The teens of the group all -excluding Shino- chimed dumbly.

"We want Sasuke Uchiha's FILE, his statistics, his information, his blood type, The whole sack of peaches," Black Zetsu sighed, Peaches? leave it up to white Zetsu to ruin the 'Bad-ass' vibe they had going.

Beneath his hood Shino raised an eyebrow,"Why?,"

"Personal reasons,"

Naruto broke out of his silence with a large grin and hyper voice,"Ha! yeah right! Like we'd ever bargain with the Akatsuki!,"

The rest of the group nodded in agreement with the Jinchuuriki.

"Can't say we didn't try," Zetsu shrugged.

The Jinchuuriki turned and yelled at his group to keep moving and in a flash they were all gone. Off on their way to the old Uchiha hideout.

"Lord Madara was right, they really were stupid enough to stand here and talk to us,"

000

Madara tugged on the barely conscious teenagers spiky hair, pulling his head up at a strange angle. He winced as his neck cramped and strands of hair were plucked from their roots.

The elder put one foot over Itachi's frozen corpse and heaved the youngest close enough to land on his elder brother when he was finally let go.

Sasuke shivered at the feeling of being watched by the soul less -yet still glazed- eyes.

Madara placed his foot on the back of sasuke's head pushing his face into the fabric of Itachi's blood soaked shirt,"Don't worry, I'm not seeking out revenge. That's Dei's job," the youngest wheezed for breath,"However, I will be taking this," Madara squeezed the clump of hair he held in his fist.

The foot was removed and Sasuke rose up gasping for air.

Behind him Madara heard the earth break apart and an excited gasp.

White Zetsu gushed at the sight of Sasuke, "You're a terrible person,Dei would be proud,"

FIN

(Next week the bad ending MWHAHAHA!)

I like how the whole mood turns into a WingedAvenger torture fic there at the end. She's fucking awesome at writing torture...oh. Sooooo, there was no lemon, guess this story goes from Yaoi to Shonen-ai?

Final Thankies: Yuti-chan, QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGUnner, DragonFire44, Lazy Gaga, Nendo Tenshi and Smrt1 ^_^... I hope everyone enjoyed it! There will be a sequal .Eventually. I will NOT plan while I write anymore! THANK YOU! -JA!