Memories of Shadow Chapter 3, a star wars fanfic

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This chapter has been edited from the original.

Warning: Bipolar chapter ahead.

The snow continued to fall around the pair who were staring at each other, innumerable emotions on both of their faces. Mostly, the exile felt shock, betrayal, and joy. How in the world was he alive? She had seen Kreia kill all of the masters and completely drain their bodies of the Force. She had sensed their deaths through her bonds with them. There was no way in the world that they should be alive, and he certainly didn't look like a Force ghost. He looked just as solid and real and alive as he always had. All she wanted to know was how.

"This…this can't be real," The exile muttered, shaking her head and backing away a few steps in the snow. Whatever it was that looked and sounded like Kavar took a few steps closer and she held her hand up to stop just like she had all those years ago. This could not be the man she loved. It couldn't be.

"Please, Ty, let me explain. I promise there is an explanation for all of this," He stated calmly, obviously trying to placate her. The exile shook her head harder, ignoring the pain that shot through her as she did so. She had been in the cold too long and her visions were not helping and now there was a dead man telling her to let him explain. She couldn't handle all of this happening right now.

"Get away from me. I don't know who or what you are, but you can't be him. He died. I saw it happen. I felt it through the Force. You can't be here," She choked slightly, trying to hold back more tears as she weakly glared at him. Why was this happening? Why did life like to screw with her so much? What had she done to make life hate her so much? And people wondered why she lived with a death wish every day of her life.

"I know this is confusing. But I promise you, I am here and alive. I'm just as much as him as I was the day you married me. I know you may not be pleased to see me, but I can explain this if you give me a chance," Kavar replied, holding his hands up in defensive but surrendering position. At those words, the exile's anger snapped. She stalked forward to him, ignoring the snow that chilled her to the bone.

"You think I'm not pleased to see you? You think that I didn't regret your death every day since I saw it happen? Do you realize just how much I've hated myself since that day because I was right there and I couldn't save you? I blamed myself so much, and yet you're saying it was all for nothing because you're still alive? You're telling me that you lied to me again after everything we've been through? You're telling me you didn't have the decency to perhaps mention that you weren't dead? Did I not cross your mind? Or did you just stop caring about me again?" Tyla hissed, bringing her face close to his so she could lower her voice and he wouldn't hear just how much it was cracking with emotion. She would never deny that she still loved him and probably always would, but she was angry and felt betrayed, and those emotions were winning out over her love for him.

Kavar didn't say anything in response. Instead, he ran his thumb across her cheek, causing the frosted tears to come away from her face. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. The simple contact sent warmth through the exile and she bit her lip, trying to convince herself not to just completely and totally give in to him. He rested his forehead against her gently and she sucked in a small and shaky breath, looking up into his deep blue eyes. Everything in that moment, from the falling snow to the broken enclave to the way he held her, seemed truly perfect. For once in her life, she didn't feel empty anymore. She felt like she had a reason to live again.

"I'm sorry," Kavar muttered softly against her lips, and the peaceful serenity of the moment was shattered by those two simple words. Tyla pushed away from him roughly and spun around, turning to leave the enclave.

"Stay away from me! I can't trust you. After everything that's happened between us, there is no way I can trust you ever again," The exile growled, stepping away from him and blinding walking to the entrance. Her anger was bubbling up to the surface and she wasn't even trying to control it anymore. She was more angry than she could ever imagine being. She wasn't sure what had spurred on the sudden storm of emotion. Maybe it was the fact that he had dared to tell her he was sorry after everything. Maybe it was because he had let her think he was dead. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because she was angry at herself for still loving him when she knew she shouldn't.

"Ty, you still haven't let me explain what happened," Kavar called out, grabbing the exile's arm and spinning her around. She shoved him away with her considerable strength, knocking him away from her.

"I don't want to hear your explanation! It might just be more lies. Think about it Kavar. I can't even trust you to die anymore!" She hissed viciously, spinning around and running for the exit at a full run. She knew she was being stupid. She couldn't run from him forever. She was too attached to him to stay away no matter how much she claimed she could. Right now she was depending on anger and anger alone to stay away from him and she knew it.

"I'm not the only one!" Kavar called out after her and Tyla stopped dead in her tracks. What was that? He wasn't the only one? Was he talking about the other masters? If he was she was going to kill him and the rest of them herself. How could they do this to her? How could they sit there and lie to her like that and make her believe they were dead? That had been the wrong thing to say to her, that was for sure, because now her anger was completely uncontrollable.

The angry offshoot spun around in her spot and gave Kavar a glare that could melt the most solid of ice. She walked over to him and the air practically dropped in temperature around her.

"What did you say?" She hissed, bringing her face so close to his that her nose was almost touching his. Kavar sighed and his breath tickled her cold face although she forced herself to ignore the unfamiliar familiar sensation.

"I'm not the only one. Zez-Kai Ell and Vrook are also back. If you'll let me explain-" That was as far as Tyla let him get. Her anger became darker and more powerful than she could even try to control and she reached up and slapped him so hard the sound rang out in the hollow air. She was quaking with anger and frustration and betrayal as she clenched her fists at her side.

"Go away Kavar Desaneh. I never want to see you again you lying, hypocritical bastard. I don't know why I ever wasted my time with you. I don't know why I ever thought I could trust you after everything you've done. I…" She growled, her voice giving way as she tried to tell him she hated him. She didn't hate him and she knew it, but oh she wished she could tell him that. She wished she could tell him that so bad. He deserved to hear those words after everything he had put her through. But she was too weak to say those words and she hated herself for it.

"Tyla Kian Moore Desaneh, do not walk away like that," Kavar ordered, grabbing her arm again. Tyla growled at him and jerked her arm away from him. Before she could unleash another rant on him, her personal comm. link buzzed. Keeping her glare on Kavar, she answered it.

"What?" She questioned, barely managing to keep her voice stable.

"Ty, I don't know what's taking you so long, but there's a message from Admiral Onasi. He wants to speak to you," Atton explained. Tyla sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, taking in a few deep breaths. This was not what she needed right now and she knew it, but she had to deal with this rather soon.

"Alright. I'll be back soon," She finally said, opening her eyes. She needed to calm down. With the recent vision about Shade and Revan's words floating around in her head about how she always gave in to her emotions far too quickly, this entire situation was bound to end bad if she didn't at least look calm. There was no way she was going to simply calm down and forget about this entire thing, but she could at least pretend for the sake of her crew.

"I know you don't want us around, but Zez and Vrook already headed over to the space port where you ship is. We're coming with you," Kavar explained slowly. Forcing herself to not let her emotions get the better of her, Tyla nodded at him. She did not like this at all and she really didn't want to have to explain this to her crew, but she really had no choice at the moment. As much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't just leave the masters behind on this planet. Although she wouldn't mind leaving Vrook to freeze to death in the snow…

"Fine. Whatever. But I swear to you, this is not the end of this. You and I will be discussing this later, and it will not be fun. That I promise," Tyla warned, narrowing her pale eyes at him before turning around again and walking out the door of the enclave. She heard Kavar's footsteps crunch the snow behind her, but she refused to look at him. She couldn't. If she wanted to even pretend to stay calm, she couldn't see him right now. Just his presence brought up too many uncomfortable memories she wasn't willing to face right now. She had too much to do and too much to worry about to try to think about her past. It wasn't going to happen right now, and if all things went according to plan, she wouldn't have to worry about it at all.

The walk back to the ship was slow and almost painful for the exile, especially because she could feel Kavar's eyes on her the entire way. His gaze seemed to burn through her and she wanted to shy away from it, but she couldn't show any sign of that. If she did, he would win and she refused to let that happen. When they finally reached the ship again, Zez and Vrook were standing beside the wall so they were hidden from the Hawk's view. Zez was leaned up against the wall casually and was rolling his eyes at Vrook when he caught Tyla's eye. He straightened up and opened his mouth to speak to her, but the exile waved him off.

"Don't speak to me. Trust me, it isn't a good idea. We're going to lay down some ground rules before you even move. And trust me, if you don't follow these rules, it isn't going to work out well for you," She threatened, glaring at Vrook in particular. He glowered her and stood up straighter.

"Listen here Tyla Moore," He started and then was forced to stop as Tyla defiantly glared at him..

"Shut up. I am not taking your shit anymore Vrook. You're playing on my turf now. You're on my ship, with my crew, and you follow my orders. Is that clear?" She interrupted menacingly. She was not going to deal with the irate master acting like he was her better anymore. She was too tired and too frustrated to deal with that, and she wasn't going to accept that type of behavior on her ship. Her crew either got along with each other or they got off the ship.

Vrook didn't respond to her, instead choosing to turn away from her. Taking that as reluctant acceptance, she turned to look at Zez and Kavar.

"First, you will not argue with my crew members. They have been with me far longer than you have and I like that much more than I like any of you right now. So whatever they say goes. Second, do not argue with me. This is my ship and my crew. They follow my orders and so do you now. If you have an opinion, speak it respectfully. If I choose to ignore it, deal with it. Third, if I ask you a question, I want the actual answer. Don't give me a council answer, a Jedi answer, or a lie. Tell me the truth. I think I deserve it after everything I've done. Fourth, I don't do things the Jedi way. I don't sit back and observe a situation and wait until it's too late to do something about it. I take action, and if you're travelling with me, you're just going to have to deal with that. And all of my crew is the same way. If you don't like how I run things, get off my ship or learn to deal with it. I have no sympathy for any of you right now," Tyla said quickly and flatly, looking at all the Jedi masters. Before they really had a chance to respond, she nodded and smiled at them viciously. "Good. Now everyone on to the ship. You can sleep into the cargo hold. I might move if you if I find a place to put you." Without another word, Tyla brushed past them and onto her ship.

If the masters really intended on travelling with her for much longer, they could get used to her rules. And if any of them tried to break them, things would get real interesting, real quick.

Anything familiar belongs to LucasArts/Bioware/Obsidian. Tyla Moore/Rhai'liah belongs to Shadows of the Storm. Kavar's last name belongs to Shadows of the Strom and Aurali Adrics.