Chapter 6: My Heartbeat is my 'Fate'
A/N: Thanks for the reviews and favorites :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter:
The next couple of days flew by. The final DA meeting before break was a great success. What wasn't was the fact that Mr. Weasley was sent to St. Mungos. That was something that hit hard in Crystal's heart. Over the last couple of weeks that she was away from Draco she grew close to Fred and George. It was painful to think. They were such great people who didn't deserve to be hurt from the Dark Lord. No one did in her view. So it was with a lot of grudge, hate, and protest that she got off the train and headed to her house with her parents.
"Crystal you will dress nice tonight, there is a small dinner taking place tonight." Crystal was about to run off to her room and sit there, waiting but that was changed when her father's voice ran in her ears.
"Wha-Of course father." She quickly recovered and let out the best smile she knew how.
"Good" He responded smoothly as he walked away to lord knows where.
Crystal couldn't help but growl. She didn't care how close Theodore was. This was the last thing she wanted to do on her first night home for Christmas. "Dress nice" she muttered as she stomped her way through the manor.
"It won't that bad." Theodore smiled as he caught up to his sister. He had been hoping her foul mood towards Slyhterin's, Death Eater's, and the family in general would subdue over time, but she has just been getting worse. He's sure it didn't help that the Weasley family got hit hard. He of course thought they deserved it and didn't know why his sister was so upset about it.
His comment bothered her. Not that bad. Not that bad to him, to her it was a night an agony. A reminder to why her friends live in fear, a reminder to why she's in a secret society to train witches and wizards and a reminder of why she hates living here…why did she even listen and come home?
So instead of responding to her brother, she chose to ignore him as the anger built up more and more inside of her.
"Crystal, come-" Theodore started as she approached her room, but quickly stopped once she slammed the door in his face.
She was fuming as she went to her closet and began throwing dresses around aimlessly. She wasn't actually looking for one to wear tonight she was just upset. And Crystal found that when she was upset nothing made her feel better than messing her room up to royal proportions.
"Miss" Crystal stopped mid throw of a green dress to a soft timid voice.
"Yes Tatl" Crystal said sweetly to the house elf as she continued to throw dresses.
"Tatl was sent here to help." The house elf said softly.
"I don't want your help" Crystal snapped now turning around to notice half of the stuff she had thrown around her closet were slowly being cleaned up by Tatl, who had caught the dress she had just thrown and was now putting it back up where it belong.
"Master says you don't have a choice." Tatl shyly looked at her feet, closing her big green eyes.
"What is father afraid I'm going to run away?" Crystal sighed and took a seat on the floor right in front of Tatl. Tatl was startled at first, but was far used to Crystal's strange behavior and thought better of it.
"Yes" was all Tatl squeaked out.
"Fine, clean this up and then I'll pick something out." Crystal sighed and threw herself on the ground, waiting patiently for the house elf to finish. She couldn't believe her luck. First day home and she already lost to her mood. She was upset at the fact that she had to go to some Death Eater dinner. She didn't want this. This wasn't her. She belonged with the people in the Order of the Phoenix. She did! She wasn't evil, she could never harm anyone. Especially not after seeing who's on what side and she would rather be on the side with her friends then with the cold harsh world of her family. But what could she do? Harry said there would be a way, but she felt that something bad was going to happen and she didn't want to be caught in the middle. That would only make things worse.
"Crissy? What happened? Why are you on the floor?" Crystal snapped her thoughts away to see Draco and her brother standing in the door way as Tatl bustling around, still cleaning up.
"Oh for fuc-" Crystal sighed and sat up "Why do people keep barging into my room?" She demanded not caring that her anger was not in check. She was frustrated and confused. This was all too much to handle.
"Technically Tatl is not a person" Draco pointed out cooly. "She's a house elf."
"In my room she's a person." Crystal glared.
"Right well, you realize dinner is in an hour and you're not ready yet?" Theodore comment as she sat there still wearing what she wore on the train.
"Of course I realize, whether I care is another story." Crystal shrugged and turned to Tatl, who was holding a black lacey dress robe. "I'll take this one Tatl, if it will get rid of them."
"Yes, of course Miss" Tatl squeaked and carried on cleaning.
"Theo, why don't you go back to your room? I'll figure out what's up." Draco smiled at his friend then turned to Crystal who was still fuming. Theodore nodded and did as was suggested to him. Finally when Draco and Crystal were alone he spoke. "What's wrong?"
"I hate these…" She paused and searched for the right words. "Get togethers" she growled.
"You can sit next to me, it will be alright." Draco said reassuringly.
"It might not be, I've been bad." She frowned. Draco shook his head no, as he came over and pulled her into a hug.
"Hardly" He said as he patted her head.
"I'm friends with Potter, mudblood's, and blood traitors. I've been bad." Crystal let out a nervous laugh. It still wasn't the laugh Draco was looking for but it was a start.
"Okay, just a little bit." He smiled and pulled away from their hug. "Just go get ready."
Crystal didn't respond to Draco's words, instead she walked out of her closet and headed for her bathroom. She knew Draco was waiting on the other side of her room, but that didn't stop her from quickly getting dressed then opening her window. She had done this many times. She hated how Draco waited for her, so what she would often do is climb down on the vines right outside her bathroom window. And she would do just that. It was harder in a dress robe, but she had plenty of practice. She couldn't help but smile as she continued to climb her way down into the snowy court yard.
Shit…how could she forget about the snow? And here she has no shoes on. Sighing to herself she continued to climb down without looking where she was going. That was until someone called out to her.
"What in Merlin are you doing?" She had never heard that voice before. It was a cold and harsh voice. One that would send shivers down anyone's spine. But given the situation, Crystal didn't seem to shiver or shake at the sound.
"Escaping, what's it look like?" Crystal rolled her eyes as she continued to descend. But all of a sudden her body stopped moving on it's on and before she knew it she found herself directly in front of the owner of the voice. The Dark Lord.
"Escaping?" He questioned in a harsh whisper.
"Well from Draco, not the house." Crystal said calmly. She should have been afraid. Everyone bone in her body should have been shaking. And she shouldn't have been talking to him like she talks to Nev, or Harry, or any of her other friends. But she was. She couldn't help it. She wasn't afraid of him at all and she didn't know why.
"I see" Voldemort said while circling around her. "And who might you be?" He finally questioned as his deep crimson eyes rested on her beautiful bright blue eyes.
"Nott, Crystal Nott." She smiled warmly, even though it didn't met her heart or her eyes. She was going to be as polite as she could. One false move could cost her and cost her dearly.
"I wasn't aware the Nott's had a daughter." He commented still staring at her. It was as if he didn't believe her. It was as if he was trying to read her mind. He was in fact trying to read her mind. But he couldn't. Why couldn't he? "Child are you skilled in Occlumency?" He finally asked feeling upset that he couldn't find out if she was lying or not.
"No, M' Lord." She bowed, knowing every single action she should take. "I am telling the truth though, you have my word."
"And word isn't always the strongest. I think you will find people lie." Voldemort said harshly as he began pacing.
"Of course people lie, but I have nothing to hide from you. You ask me and I will answer truthfully." Crystal answered as she watched him move back and forth. Her stomach was starting to lurch, but still she remained passive. She knew nothing good would come if she lost it and became afraid.
"How old are you, Child?" he questioned. She couldn't help noticing how he kept calling her a child. She wasn't going to protest but she was hardly a child. She may be young still, but she doesn't act young all the time.
"Fourteen, M' Lord" She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was beginning to feel extremely cold. Why he was out here in the cold, when the library was right there through the doors behind her, was beyond her.
"Then you must be a 4th year at Hogwarts I presume?" He carried on with the pointless questions.
"5th year actually" She responded, despite the fact that she did not want to correct him. "I transferred from Rose Academy this year."
"I'm surprised your father has not mentioned you. A fourteen year old in 5th year." He mumbled to himself. Crystal didn't say anything. She continued to watch him with worry, but a worry she wouldn't dare show. "What house are you in? You surely don't seem like you are in Slytherin."
Crystal couldn't help but smile. She was pretty amazed that he could tell she wasn't in Slytherin. Of course a Slyhterin wouldn't be dumb enough to crawl down a manor from the 4th floor. "No, I'm not in Slytherin, as much as some people would try."
Voldemort narrowed his eyes at her trying to figure her out. She could very well be a Hufflepuff. Doubtful though, she seemed very smart, but also brave. Brave or that could have been stupidity. She wasn't afraid of him, so it may just be stupidity. But that wouldn't make her fit into Ravenclaw. Then again there is a difference between book smart and common sense smart.
Crystal took the silence that had fallen between them a bit unsettling. As the moments passed her stomach lurched more and more, and she couldn't figure out why. She did not want to be rude or upset him so she kept her silence, but she was beginning to feel ill. The silence was more than she could bear. "Gryffindor" she whispered softly as her body began to feel faint as she shivered with the cold that was surrounding her. "And I am friends with Potter before you even ask." Crystal added in a lower after thought. She regretted after she said it. Her stomach was lurching even farther. Something was making her sick. Was she really worried?
"Why don't you go inside child, I am sure we will converse again." Voldemort responded in a tone Crystal could not pin point, but she didn't question. She gave one last bow before walking calmly into the house.
But Crystal was far from calm. She didn't know what came over her. She couldn't stop this feeling. She felt awful. And she didn't know what to do with herself. A part of her regretted climbing out the window, but a part of her didn't know why. She just let her feet lead her back to her room to a shocked Draco.
"How did you get out of-" He started looking from her to the door she had just bust through but she didn't respond. Rather she stormed back into her bathroom and slammed the door, locking it carefully behind her.
Her feet kept guiding her over to the porcelain toilet where she proceeded to let out all her emotions and her lunch from earlier. Once she was done she let out several sobs as she lay out on the floor letting her mind describe each and every emotion running through her mind.
Crystal knew for sure after only a couple moments of lying on the cold marble floor what she was feeling. And what she was feeling was, anger, disgust, worries, nerves, and heartache. She couldn't believe that she had just talked to the man who had destroyed so many of her friend's lives. The man who had killed muggles for sport and thought nothing of it, she had just calmly told she was friends with Harry Potter. Thee Harry Potter the one he wants to kill. And here she was still alive. What was he playing at?
"Crystal? Crystal open up!" She heard Draco pound on the door. She ignored it though as she continued to cry.
Here Fred and George nearly lost their dad because of that man. And Harry actually did lose his dad and his mother. Why wasn't she born on the good side? Why could she not have a life away from all this? She didn't want the war at home.
"Crystal come on, don't make me break the door." Draco pleaded. His voice snapped awake something in Crystal. Almost at once she threw herself up and wiped the tears off her eyes. Harry would stay strong. Fred and George are surely being strong. And Neville never gives up, now's not the time for her to cave in. That can come later.
Crystal brushed herself off and threw on her best smile and with that she opened the door. "Sorry, I just got overwhelmed I forgot how good it is to be home."
"I'm not buying that." Draco quickly retorted with a cold look. He hadn't heard her cry in years. She gave that up years ago with her heart. But he was seeing now that her heart was coming back. She was starting to feel again. He could see that. He could tell that in her actions. The way she moved, the way she talked, and her facial expressions. Bit by bit, she was coming back. And it was no doubt due to those damn Gryffindor's she treasures so dearly.
"I'm not asking you to buy anything. I'm not selling anything you see…" Crystal smirked, knowing how easily it was to get Draco to forget his troubles.
"You know what I mean" Draco said while grabbing her arm. It was nearly dinner time and he did not want to be late. This was an important night, whether he or Crystal was ready for it.
"Draco you in here? Crissy?" Both Crystal and Draco jumped at the sound of Theodore peaking in. "It's time to head down."
"Of course Theo!" Crystal called happily as she appeared out in her bedroom. With her best smiled she ran over to Theo and grabbed his arm and waited for Draco to come. Draco knew right away to grab her arm so that the three of them could go down together. "Draco you're right, this will be fun." Crystal said more to herself then anything. She couldn't shake it though. She still felt sick from throwing up. The last thing she wanted to do was eat. And at a dinner like this, you have to eat. Especially if she is sitting next to Draco and Theo, they tend to notice when she doesn't eat. But she couldn't help it. Right now she was feeling sick with worry and disgust. To actually think the Dark Lord was in her house was enough to make her sick again. Was he really staying for dinner? Is that what this dinner is about? The best she could do was not listen to the words that were being said. If she zoned out and thought about other things she would be okay, right? At least that's what she thought.
She made a couple of courtesy bows and a lengthy conversation with Mrs. Malfoy before she sat down in her spot. She ended up at the end of the table with the other teenagers that happened to be there. They weren't anyone she cared to talk to. Just the usual cronies that could be found around her brother and Draco, that's what made it simple. She didn't have to say a word then. No it was simple, they held their usual conversations and she sat there smiling at the right words. It was no different than eating with them at the great hall. The only difference here, Voldemort was at the head table. And what a difference that made.
Crystal had blocked everything out. The parents chatter of plans was blocked out, the Slytherin's comments were blocked out, but she couldn't block out this wave of sickness that kept washing over her. She couldn't even eat. Crystal had thought the sickness had washed over her. She had felt so much better because of Draco, but she couldn't shake it. She was feeling disgusted all over again and she was barely touching her food. The worst part was, there was two more meals to go. This wasn't even close to being over with.
She thought for sure Draco was going to mention something or even her brother that she wasn't eating. But they didn't. After part way through the first meal Draco had lightly rested his hand on her leg. Smiling weakly she looked up at him as puzzlement filled her eyes. But what filled his eyes was not what she was expecting. She was expecting love and kindness but right now as she peered into the beautiful icy eyes she saw just that. A distant, fearful, and jealous look laced throughout every pigment in his iris. She blinked at him with confusion as he gave her leg a confident squeeze.
"Go on" He whispered. She couldn't help but notice it now. The whole dinning room had fallen silent. She had no choice other than to pull her eyes away from Draco's and look around. What she saw made her stomach lurch even farther.
All eyes were on her.
What was going on? She froze in her spot and looked ahead at to the head seat where Voldemort was grinning at her.
"Sorry my dear child, if you'd rather sit by your friends I understand." He continued to grin as Crystal's head jerked up. She could have sworn she heard her mom's soft voice let a sob escape.
Letting her courage fill her, Crystal set down her napkin, shook off what she thought she heard, and walked over to Voldemort. She did not strut or saunter. She couldn't even if she wanted too. The sickness was getting stronger as people around her shuffled to make room for her at Voldemort's left. So instead she let a light smile trace upon her lips, but not met her eyes as she gracefully walked to her new seat.
"It is an honor. Forgive me though, I was deep in thought when you first called me." Crystal took her seat feeling no pride whatsoever. Anyone else in this room would kill for this seat, but she didn't. She would gladly give it to anyone else here. But she couldn't. His word is law. And as law it must be followed. No matter how much Crystal didn't want it. Nor apparently how much her mother didn't want it.
"A mind like yours must never rest, it is understandable, but do not let it happen again." Crystal couldn't help but nod at Voldemorts words. She had a hard time looking him the eyes. This was all happening so fast. Why had he found her so fascinating? Why was he not bringing some of the boys up here? She wanted to be a Death Eater about as much as she wanted to be a blasted-ended skewert and that was saying something. "If I may pry what were you thinking about that had you so engrossed?" He questioned as her food magiked itself in front of her.
Crystal swallowed hard. She was thinking about all her Gryffindor friends and where they were right now and if Mr. Weasley was alright, but that would hardly fly here. Lie. "I was trying to calculate the right result for when you mix dragon pox, a wing of a starfly, and a drop of hiss water." She said simply as she fidgeted with her napkin. It was the first thing that came to her mind and it was a crazy farfetched thought too. It's one Fred, George, Lee, and herself had been hoping to try out, in hopes it would help with the boils that come from the puking pastels.
Voldemort must have bought it because he let out a shrill laugh. "And why would you be wondering that?" He questioned as if it was just the two of them and not a dozen Death Eaters and their families.
She didn't dare pull her eyes off Voldemort "I've been working on some…" She paused and looked down at her hands hoping to find the right words. "Projects" she finally finished with a deadly smirk. It could be called a project. Yes in theory, but soon it would be a hit. Just a couple more tweaks. Hiss water she really felt would help calm the boils a bit. Especially because of its healing properties.
"Sev, is she always this creative?" Voldemort's eyes finally tore off of Crystals and turned to the man directly across from her. Crystal hadn't noticed till now, but the man across from her was Professor Snape, the potion master. How could she not? How did she not even know that her favorite teacher was a Death Eater? The thought alone set a shiver down her spine. She knew Snape seemed cold to all the other students, but Death Eater cold?
"She is top in her class, likely one of the best students I have seen." Professor Snape answered truly. Rarely did he have positive things to say about his students. Even if he was close to their family, he found most of his students mundane. But who could blame him? He had been comparing them to Lily for years now. None of them had that spunk, that will, and the brains she had. Sure he didn't teach Lily, but he was her best friend after all…until that day at least. He knew her well and over the years that bitterness just stayed with him. And he waited and waited for someone to shine like her anyone. Maybe they could distract him enough to pull his pains away. And now he had Crystal, she was no Lily, but she was a fire.
"Is that so?" Voldemort looked curiously at Sev, his best servant. He felt like he knew Sev well. And he knew for sure that Sev did not like just any student. No he hated almost everyone. They had to be truly exceptional in order for Sev to acknowledge him. That was the one thing Voldemort always liked about Sev, so that's how he knew that Crystal was a rare female gem in the pureblood line. He wanted to know more about her and know enough to pull her and keep her on his side. She would surely have her uses. But what was with her? She had barely eaten, she looked ill earlier. He would have to keep an eye on her.
And that's what he did. During the next couple of days he had apparated to her room several times and each time would start a conversation with her. He was delighted that most of the time she had papers thrown all over her bedroom floor with books upon books. She was constantly immersed in something. She seemed to always be studying and sending Owl's back and forth. Even on Christmas Eve before the big ball at the Malfoys.
Voldemort had stopped by to check that she was doing well and going, for he continued to notice her ill image every time he had seen her. So he had hoped that his servants listened to him and gave her a pepper up potion, but it looks like they had failed to do so.
"I had specifically asked for a pepper up potion to be sent your way, did you not receive one Crystal?" Voldemort spat as he walked his way through the maze of papers to her. Crystal barely looked up from taking notes. She had grown used to his visit and was soon finding them to be bothersome because she found every time he was around she would get ill and by the time he left she would be puking in the toilet.
"Oh I received one" She said while setting down her quill and slightly shifting her paper so he wouldn't notice she was writing to Harry. "Whether I took it is an-" She started but was cut off by her door opening to reveal her frantic mother.
"Crystal you need to start getting rea-" Her mother started but cut herself short "M' Lord, I'm terribly sorry I did not see you there."
"Mrs. Nott" Voldemort responded in a cold voice as his hand twisted around his wand. "Please make sure Crystal takes her potion would you?" And without a second thought he cast a spell at Mrs. Nott making her scream in pain. Crystal watched in horror as her mother screamed in pain. But it ended as quick as it started and with that Voldemort was gone.
"Mom?" Crystal gasped the minute he left and ran for her mother. She held her mother close. She had feared for this. Oh how Crystal waited for this the minute she realized just how much Voldemort wanted her on his side. And to be honest, she felt she was making matters worse always working on different products with the twins. But she couldn't help it. It's what was keeping her sane.
"I'm fine" Her mother sobbed "I was so afraid this would happen." Crystal stared at her mother. This was not what she was expecting. Her mother's voice was so sincere she had never heard it this way before. Even if she hardly knew her mother, it still was shocking. "I didn't want you back. You shouldn't be in his favor." Her mother shook her head and let out a loud sob. "You aren't a Nott."
"I know mother" Crystal said with confidence even though her eyes were puzzled.
"No listen to me…I don't know how much more of this I can take." Her mother continued to cry into her daughters shoulder and grip onto her tightly. "Your father is not really your dad. You are more of a Baskerville if anything"
"If dad's not my dad then who is?" Crystal asked with wide eyes. She had known something was up for years, but she didn't know it was this big. She had little hints within her heart but she had hoped they weren't true at all. Who would want that? She may have hated her family but not to actually be who you thought you were hurt and it hurt a lot.
"I never wanted to be with your dad, I wanted to be free." Her mother pulled away from her daughter and looked at her sternly. "I never wanted all this pureblood shit. Darling you can still break free. You can still be someone. I…I believe in you."
Crystal didn't know what to say. She was shocked. She never believe one of her own family, her own blood would support her. And here it was, her mother. The woman who could do nothing but stand by and watch her daughter get taken away. Crystal always knew for some reason she was her mother's pride and treasure, but she never knew why.
"Crystal, listen to me. You may be the Dark Lord's treasure, but to me you are more than that. I love you and I always have. Just please do not fall to the darkside. Please stay just the way you are." Her mother finally caved in and succumbed to the tears. Her emotions rushed through her and soon were passed on to her daughter. In mere seconds the two of them were holding each other in tears.