Chapter 13: Deep in the depths of our pain
A/N: To marmiexx, I have not named her real father yet, but expect it soon.
Again thanks for all the reviews, questions, and adds and favorites and anything else. Ennnnjoy :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
In the coming days Crystal spent a lot of time thinking. She did also take some time to write Narcissa back, but as it turned out each letter she wrote in response to decorating another letter would come filled with more questions. Who knew that decorating took so much time? And why should Crystal care whether her drapes with white with lavender flowers or solid light pink? They are drapes! Not only that's a small room. A bedroom who cares?
It seemed to her though that it was important to Narcissa, so she tried her hardest to make it work. Crystal would grit her teeth through every letter. She loved Narcissa, but it was growing hard to do with all the preparations. But finally Crystal and Narcissa settled on room preparations and now it was all about her ball that would be taking place.
Crystal learned quickly not to write these letters in the common room. Fred and George would always pick on her so much over it. In the end Crystal ended up retreating all the way to the Astronomy tower and started writing back to Narcissa by moonlight. It gave her plenty of time to think and to enjoy the beautiful March sky.
No one usually came to the Astronomy tower while she was there. She was able to sit there in peace most nights, but not tonight.
"Whose there? It's after hours!" An angry voice that sounded oh too familiar to Crystal called out. She stayed in the shadows and turned around to see a figure approaching. She didn't dare say anything. "I'm a prefect!" Crystal smiled, she knew that arrogant voice.
"Go ahead and write me up, Draco." Crystal nearly laughed as she turned back to her letter. Draco would never write her up and they both knew it. He didn't want to cause any trouble for her and he didn't want her to hate him either. So she could freely tease him without worry.
"Crissy? What are you doing up here?" Draco asked as he walked closer to her.
"Writing a letter to your mother" Crystal said, still not knowing how it ended up being Draco that was here. She had never been caught before, not out of bed at least. She was usually pretty good on noticing when someone was coming and would quick hide before treading back to the common room. "She, for the life of her, can't decide if for the ball it should be light blue or dark blue." Crystal rolled her eyes.
Draco let out a small laugh "She gets like that sometimes." He said while taking a seat next to her. "So you've heard?"
"Heard what? That I'm living with you this summer." Crystal didn't smile as she took a deep breath and stretched out. Slowly she lay down on her back and stared up at the brilliant moon.
"Yeah" Draco said in a distant voice as he searched her. There was more, she knew more but what did she know? Did she know everything that he knew? "Are you okay with that?" He asked softly as he lay down next to her, not watching the moon, but her.
"I don't have a choice do I?" Crystal let out a soft sigh. "I don't mind though, we can have some fun."
"It's more than that though…" Draco commented knowing there was more to this then what was being shown through the letters. "The Dark Lord has plans for us."
"I try not to think about that." Crystal turned over away from the moon and looked at Draco. Their eyes locked with intensity, but neither of them looked away. "You know I want a better future…and you deserve a better future." She said bluntly as she reached out and grabbed Draco's cold hand and held it in her warm ones.
He moved his eyes down to his hand that was being cradled by her. He felt such warmth and comfort, how could he deserve more than what he was receiving right now? "I doubt that." Draco shrugged.
"I'm friends with you, isn't that reason enough?" Crystal smiled broadly.
Draco couldn't help but smiling in return. He loved her smile it was the one thing that could always brighten his heart. But he doubted she knew the affect she had on him. Even if he had told her that he loved her, he never feels that's enough. He wants to give her more, but that's hard to do. She's so far away from anyone else he's ever known. Oh how he treasured these moments he was with her. He wanted to learn everything about her, even if they were childhood friends she's changed so much that there is still so much to learn. "You act like you are something special." Draco teased as he reached out and poked her nose.
"Of course I am!" Crystal smirked and rolled over, throwing herself up in an elegant twirl as she spun around a couple of times. "I'm Crystal Nott."
Draco got up as well and gently rested a hand around her waist and pulled her hand into his. Slowly he began to pull her into a waltz, letting the night supply a soft whisper of music. Together they danced and swirled within the moonlight.
"Crystal" Draco said in a soft voice. "Please don't ever leave me, no matter what happens." He carried on his soft whisper, but didn't look in her eyes. He had closed his eyes and was letting their movement carry him away. He wanted to stay like this forever, here in her arms.
"Why would I leave you?" Crystal questioned mirroring his soft voice. She tried to read his face, but it was hard to see now that moon had moved behind a cloud. His face was dark and in the shadows. She frowned, what was on his mind?
"For Potter" He responded in a gentle voice. He had to hide his true feelings. He didn't want to upset her, but even saying Potter, made him feel hostile. He hated Potter and he hated it even more that she may just leave for them. She belongs with them, she doesn't belong with the Dark Lord, nor the Slyhterin's. With those nasty Gryffindor's, that's where she belongs.
"What do you mean for Potter?" Crystal furrowed her brow and dropped Draco's hands, ceasing the waltz at once. "You act like I care for him." She moved her hands to her hips as the moonlight peaked through the cloud and drifted across her back, leaving her in shadows but Draco in brilliant light. She could read his expression now. It was filled with worry and jealously. He honestly was afraid that she cared for him.
Draco sighed "It's not just him, it's the whole lot of them" he shook his head and reached out to hold her hand. He held it tight and gave a grim smile. "You belong with them. You are happier with them. You laugh, you smile, and you care for them. And don't lie! I've seen you with them!"
Crystal blinked at Draco and pulled her hand away. Slowly she backed up, unable to believe what she was hearing. Did he honestly believe that? He didn't want too, but given his eyes, she knew he meant it. And she knew he was right. In some weird way the Gryffindor's had become closer than any of her family had ever been. Was she really making the right decision, staying in attempt to save some lives from Voldemort? And for what? For their freedom? Did they want freedom? Weren't the Slyhtherin's just happy following mommy and daddy?
She pulled her hands close to her heart and turned around to look up at the sky. "Draco, I am happy with you too. You are just too blind to see it." Crystal smiled and turned around to look at Draco. "If you haven't noticed, I've been writing your mom and securing my place among purebloods."
"But why!" Draco cried and threw his arms up in the air. "You deserve better, not me, you!" Out of frustration he ran his hands through his air, sending it into disarray in an instant. "I'm sure the Order would get you out, why bother to stay somewhere when you in your heart know you don't belong!" He started pacing now. He knew she could. And he couldn't for the life of him figure out why she was deciding to be here, with him. Here, with the purebloods, going against what her deepest heart screams for.
"Because of you" Crystal answered simply.
Draco stopped pacing immediately. He wasn't sure if his ears heard right. He shook his head, no she wouldn't want to stay because of him. She's up to something, she had to be. "This isn't a game, this is your life Crystal! You could be killed! Go where you are safe!" He cried out as he reached forward and held her arms tight.
"Draco" Crystal whispered as her eyes shined brightly with tears. "I'm safe with you, I've always been safe with you." She smiled as she reached out and held him tight. "When I'm with you I feel like I'm at home."
"Home?" Draco muttered. It was the one thing Crystal had always wanted, was a home. Did she really mean that she found a home within him? If she did then surely, this meant yes, she was returning his love. She did care for him. He was someone important and someone she treasured.
"Yes" Crystal nodded as she nuzzled up into his chest. He held her close and ran his hands through her hair, bringing a soft smile to her lips. Yes, this is home. "I'm willing to stay for you, but I can't say I won't make mistakes." Crystal pushed away and peered up into his eyes. "It's hard after spending so much time with them, with my friends, to remember how to be proper." Crystal shook her head. "It's not that they aren't proper, it's that they are free and know how to have fun."
"Believe me, I know" Draco admitted sheepishly. "I've seen you with them. The way your face lights up in an instant. The way your body seems to lift into freedom, I've seen it all." He said while reached forward and brushing her hair out of her eyes. "And no matter how I see you, you are always beautiful."
Crystal blushed in the soft moonlight "Thank you" she muttered.
"They must be crazy for not loving you the way I do though." Draco smiled and rested his hand on her cheek.
Crystal titled her head slight on his hand and looked up in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
"To them, you are just a friend." Draco planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. "But to me, you are my sweet angel."
Crystal felt her cheeks get even redder, if that was possible. She turned away and looked at her feet. "We should get going." She said simple as she broke away from Draco and grabbed the letter she was planning on finishing, and put it in her backpack and turned for the door. "Draco, I love you too." She said softly, but loud enough for Draco to hear it. One last smile and she turned and left for the Gryffindor common room, leaving Draco deep in thoughts.
Draco wasn't the only one with thoughts weighing heavy on them, Crystal was as well. She found it hard to sleep that night. Finally around two in the morning she gave up and headed over to the twins dorms. Quietly she slipped through and found her way to Fred's bed and softly crawled in. Fred stirred a little bit, but didn't wake up.
"Fred?" Crystal whispered softly and she grabbed him and shook him a bit.
Fred stirred a bit more before he rubbed his hands over his eyes. "Crystal?" He whispered taking in her figure. "What time is it?" He asked groggily as he reached through the curtain for his wand.
"I can't sleep." Crystal said completely brushing off his question.
"Not what I asked, obviously you can't sleep otherwise you wouldn't be here." Fred said with an eye roll. "Come on, lay down." He said with a groan as he grabbed her and pushed her down onto the bed and threw the blankets over them.
"Freeed!" Crystal whined and despite her whirling thoughts, she couldn't help but smile.
"Shhh, I know I know!" Fred said warmly as he covered her mouth. "But you can't wake the whole dorm." He said calmly "What's bothering you?" He questioned softly as he removed his hand.
"Draco" Crystal said quickly.
"You love him" Fred responded steadily, while poking her nose at each word.
"Yes" Crystal said at first than gasped "No! No! Not what I meant, your tricking me!" Crystal growled.
"I did not, you just admitted it." Fred said as if it was obvious. "And we don't need to whisper" Fred said as he pointed his wand around the curtains, so they could freely talk.
"So maybe I do, not what we are talking about!" Crystal rolled over to her back and kicked her legs in frustration.
"It's good that you do, in some way at least." Fred said grimly as he reached out and grabbed her hands.
"What do you mean?" Crystal questioned as she rolled over to face Fred. She couldn't read him that well. He looked upset, but yet calm as usual. And with his smile that he always wore it was hard to tell. He was so hard to read, but yet, Crystal seemed to always understand him perfectly. She loved being his friend.
"I know you didn't read the letter from your father, but you know deep down inside what it said." Fred finally let his smile fall off his lips. He couldn't say it. He knew she was choosing not to believe. And that was her decision. If it's what helped her get through everything, who was he to stop her? She deserved happiness too.
"I…" Crystal blinked as tears began to find their way to her eyes. "I came here to read the letter. I'm just…I need to know."
"And what if I said I burned it?" Fred asked as his heart seemed to tear. He didn't like seeing her in this sort of pain. It was killing him inside, but he could only imagine how it would make her feel knowing what he knows. When George and he read the letter, they both felt pain and ended up going to the dorm afterwards to figure out the best way to let her know. Yes, she gave a nod, but that doesn't mean she really knows the extend of the letter? And knowing Crystal the way they did, would she really be okay with this or would it tear her to shreds? Would it give them a chance to be closer with her? Would she run from her 'family' and forget the chance to 'save' what Slyhterin's she could?
"I doubt you did" Crystal looked him in the eyes and finally realized, he was trying to protect her. He cared for her, he was truthfully protecting her in a way her brother and family never could. He was protecting her out of love, not concern for himself. He was doing it for her. "But that's okay, I'm sure I could ask Draco if I wanted to know that badly." She shrugged.
"If you want, but it's your funeral." Fred shrugged. "Now come on, we should get some sleep." He patted her on the head before pulling the blankets over his face.
"I don't know, I'm feeling pretty ill." Crystal grinned mischievously. "I don't think I can make it to Charms in the morning." She put her hand on her forehead and pretended to pull away in shock at 'how hot' it was.
Fred winked catching on. "I'm going to have to agree with you, you look pretty ill. And seeing as we are so close, I know I'll be ill and not able to make Transfiguration in the morning."
Crystal smiled "Thank you Fred."
"It's what friends are for, Crystal." Fred ruffled her hair with a grin.
"I didn't know we were friends!" Crystal pretended to be shock as she covered her mouth with her hands.
"I just decided it now." Fred shrugged "Anyways let's skip the minor details and get to the important matter."
Crystal stared at him not sure what he was getting at. "What important matter?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow as Fred got out of bed and fidgeted around looking for something.
"Crystal, Crystal, Crystal" Fred sighed and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "There is tons of work to attend too, operation 'break free' needs to happen and we can't do it without your help." Fred said sternly and was actually being serious.
Crystal nodded knowing exactly what he meant. So they spent the night perfecting the formula's they needed for different spells and to change the fireworks to their liking. Crystal thought they should really wake George up, but Fred reassured her that he could be filled in DADA when they usually, instead of reading the boring book, would go over different notes for their plans with Lee.
They worked well until 4 in the morning. It wasn't until Crystal fell asleep reading over some notes that Fred called it a night and quietly packed everything up. He was glad that Crystal didn't move at all while he put things away and dimmed his wand light out. His plan the whole time was to ease her into sleep. He knew she was overly worrying and that this would help her ease her mind and wear her down into a peaceful sleep. And that's just what it did. She was out and not worrying about her next move. She needed that sleep and he knew it.
Giving her a soft smile, Fred put her under the covers and adjusted her just right so she would be comfy and headed out of his bed over towards George's to catch a couple of winks before he went to his morning class. He figured that it would be alright if he let Crystal sleep and came up to get her during lunch. She needed the sleep, he did not. He didn't need school. He and George had already decided this and soon they'd be done, starting their joke shop. Crystal on the other hand, needed to be here because she would be a huge help to the order. If anyone could help pull Death Eater's children to the order, it would be her with her carefree spirit.
In the morning there was a bit of a commotion. George had a bit of a panic when he woke up to see his twin lying next to him sleeping away. Which was enough to wake Lee up in a heartbeat, but soon after a quick explanation everyone in that dorm was in hushed voices and got ready in silence. But the minute they made it out of the dorm and headed down to the common room they began discussing the progress Crystal and Fred had made last night.
"You know you could have woke me up" George complained for the 5th time as they made their way out of the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"She was already worrying enough, waking you up would have made her feel even worse. She felt bad enough for waking me up." Fred explained once again as he waved his hand in the air as if trying to swat George's thought away.
"I know, but still." George sighed "No matter, so you two made a lot of progress last night?" George grinned from ear to ear and gave his twin a wink.
"Progress, eh?" Lee nudged Fred and gave a laugh with Fred.
"Grow up you two, would you?" Fred rolled his eyes "We strictly worked on 'break free'." Fred and grown used to these jokes. When Crystal wasn't around, George and Lee would always tease him about her. They knew he fancied her, but they all also knew she was falling for Draco. And her falling for Draco wasn't that hard to notice. She didn't talk or flaunt about how great Draco was, but it was evented in the choices she made to stay. If she didn't care for him she wouldn't have decided to stay with her family and risk being a Death Eater. It wasn't only that, it was the smile that she held when she was around Draco. It was hard for any of the twins or Lee to describe, but they noticed it right away. It was one of love and admiration for sure.
"If by break free you mean your pe-" George started to tease once again, but was cut off.
"Fred! George! Wait up!" It was Hermione, she looked like she hurriedly got ready and she also looked a little worried. "Have you seen Crystal?" She asked as she rushed over holding her side in pain, she clearly ran all the way over to them. "She never came back last night, at least what I heard. And I woke up at five this morning and she wasn't in her bed." Hermione looked really concerned and she was really concerned. Last she heard from Crystal was that she was going out for a walk and would be back by eight that evening. Eight rolled around and quickly turned into ten and she still wasn't back. Hermione couldn't wait up any longer, she had a long day of homework and her eyes were ready to shut so by ten-thirty she was already asleep and if Crystal came back then she wasn't awake. Hermione was worrying because ever since the news that she was living at Malfoy Manor this summer had weighed on Crystal heavily. Crystal would never admit it, but seeing her everyday let Hermione know that it was heavy on her mind and taking a toll on her. And Crystal not being in bed really worried Hermione, though she didn't know where Crystal would go if not in the dorm, surely not to Draco the source of her worry.
"She's fine, her and Fred got a little-" Lee started but Fred hit Lee's chest with his arm and shut him up real quickly.
"She was a bit restless last night, so she came in our dorm to talk with me and ended up fall asleep at four in the morning. I'm letting her sleep until lunch." Fred filled in with a smile to let Hermione know everything was alright.
"Oh good" Hermione sighed relief "I was just worried you know, she has been looking a little ill lately."
"We know" both the twins responded to Hermione. They were happy that Crystal had a friend like Hermione. Sure they both felt she could be a know it all at times, but Hermione cared for her and noticed things that not everyone seemed to notice.
"Anyways, I'm going back to the common room to wait for Ron and Harry." Hermione said quickly before heading back the way she just came, leaving the boys no time to respond.
"Such a good girl" George nodded his head as he watched Hermione run off back to the dorms.
"Sure" Fred shrugged and began walking back down the stairs so they could get breakfast.
Breakfast was an awkward affair. Harry, Ron, and Hermione ended up sitting right next to Fred, George, and Lee. But that wasn't what was awkward, that was actually enjoyable for the group. What was awkward was how the whole Slyhterin table seemed to be glaring at them. But they were all pretty lucky, because they didn't have class with the Slyhterin's. Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn't know what they would have done had they had Charms with the Slyhterin's. Draco's glare was bad enough. But when class was over, they were shocked to see Draco and his cronies coming towards them at lunch.
Hermione didn't find that surprising, what she did find surprising however was that Crystal's brother was angrily in the lead. He held a stern frown and the more Hermione looked at him approaching the more she found him worse than Draco. Draco had at least looked worried and concerned. Theo looked furious, as if Crystal was doing this on purpose.
"Mudblood, where is my sister?" Theo growled as he angrily threw his hands on the table. He had been afraid she had taken the news badly. He didn't want to admit it, but in his head he thought she was scheming something and now it looks like she really was scheming something. Draco had tried to reassure Theo over and over again that no, she wasn't.
That's how Draco felt at least. He had talked to her the night before and he kept hearing what she had said over and over again in his head. "We don't want to be here any longer than we have to. The less attention we get from the great hall the better." Draco said calmly. He had complete confidence Crystal didn't go to her morning class for a reason.
The trio was surprised momentarily. The way Draco presented himself was calm and pose just like any pureblood would be, but was surprising to them was the fierceness in his eyes. Did he actually care for Crystal that much?
"Not here obviously" Harry grinned, despite the concern Draco and her brother seemed to be showing they were still Slytherin's, which gave Harry the right to tease.
"Oh don't fuck with us." Theo growled and wondered to himself how his sister saw these people as friends.
"Is there a problem?" Crystal came up as if just on cue. She didn't walk with her usual confidence, nor did her voice hold its usual tone. She was exhausted and felt awful. She had woken up shortly after everyone had left for classes and couldn't remember why she felt so miserable. It wasn't until she searched around and realized she was in Fred's bed that she remembered all the emotions flowing through her and the whole weight that she held by choosing not to be pulled to safety. She had a lot to fill and time was wearing thin. School was slowly about to end for the term. The OWL's were almost at hand and soon she'd be living with Death Eaters. It was a lot to swallow. But it wasn't just that. When she woke up she blindly got up and went through Fred's stuff to see if she could find something to clean herself up with, but what she ended up finding instead was that letter from her father that she didn't want to see. The minute she saw it she couldn't help but read it, but needless to say, by the time Fred and George came to get her for lunch she had already cried herself dry. She wasn't ready for this sort of life. She wanted to be back in America where it was life was simpler. But Fred reminded her she wasn't. That she was here and she loved her friends and her family. She was here. And she would make the best of it.
"There you are" Theo sadly happily as he rested a gentle hand on her arm, not noticing her puffy eyes and blotchy face.
Draco noticed though. He noticed right away and his brow furrowed with concern, but yet he didn't dare say anything about her appearance. He just smiled warmly. "Why don't you eat lunch with us, Crystal?"
Crystal narrowed her eyes. The question had been running through her head since she read it. And now she was here in front of her brother and Draco. "You set it up, didn't you?" Crystal spat with venom as Fred and George made their way behind her and put a supporting hand on her shoulder.
"Set what up?" Draco was confused she was crying he knew she was. But where was this anger coming from? What was she even talking about? This seemed all so senseless.
"You did this didn't you Draco?" She continued to glare as Fred's grip on her shoulder tightened. George's grip on the other hand dropped, he could feel her emotions and was painful for him.
"Did what Crystal? You are not making sense. Calm down and we will talk about this when you are ready." Draco smiled curtly. He knew she wouldn't appreciate those words, but he had to do it. People were staring, rumors would spread, and people would get the wrong idea. They had an image to uphold, whether Crystal wanted to or not, they had too.
Crystal leaned in close and grabbed Draco by the collar. Leaning in she dug her nails into his skin and whispered harshly in his ear. "It's your fault we are betrothed." She growled and stormed off ready to let the tears leak out once more.