Ch.7: Searching for Independent Multiple Professors
The next morning, everyone met back in the backyard for the day's plan.
"So, Phineas, whatcha planning?" Isabella asked.
"Getting the rest of our staff. While our new recruits are enjoying our inside the fort, we're off to get the next four recruits." said Phineas.
"And they are?" Candace asked impatiently.
"Well, according to Irving, we can easily merge teachers from other schools into our super school, but we're still lacking a few. So today, we need an art teacher, a science teacher, a physics teacher, and journalism teacher. Candace we're gonna need you to provide transportation."
"*Sigh* Fine. So who's first?"
"The art teacher. To Django's house!" Phineas said.
One car drive later...
Arriving, at their friend Django Brown's house, Phineas and Ferb went to the door while everyone else waited in the car. Immediately, the boys saw an oversized doorbell. Curious, the boys pressed it.
DIIIING DOOOOONG!
The door was answered by their flexible friend, Django.
"Hey guys." said Django.
"Hey Django. How's it going?" Phineas asked.
"Not too good."
"Let me guess, you guys are moving?"
"How'd you know?"
"Well, the gigantic moving truck is a sign." said Ferb, referring to the moving truck the size of a truck that carries trucks.
"My Dad has a lot of giant sculptures that he's bringing with us. It's too bad though, we really like living here." sighed Django.
"I know. Everyone loves your Dad's sculptures. Or at least, before he stopped recently."
"He's been taking time to make art with me. He really likes teaching me and I like being taught."
"Really? Cause Ferb and I might have a solution. Ferb and I are planning to build a super school, and we were thinking your Dad would be perfect as the art teacher."
"Hey that sounds great. I'll go ask him if he's interested."
"Great. Why don't you give us a call and tell us if he wants to or not."
"Okay. Thanks guys."
SPLASH!
"Um, I better go. I think my Dad just spilled his giant bottle of grape soda." said Django
"Okay, good luck." said Phineas.
As Django went to get his Dad's giant mop, the boys returned to the car.
"So, how'd it go?" Isabella asked.
"We may have a new art teacher. Onto the next two. Oh, Candace and Baljeet, we're gonna need you two for the next two people."
"Why?" the two asked simultaneously.
Through the magic of fanfiction, we're going to be watching two scenes at the same time. One scene has Candace talking to Lulu Jones, the host "Bust Em", and the other has Baljeet talking to his old summer school teacher, Mr. McGillicuddy, the man Baljeet made the transporter to Mars. Both scenes have the same dialogue, so it's faster if I do the two scenes at the same time.
Getting out of the car, Baljeet/Candace went to the door of the house of their next target.
Ding dong!
The door opened and Mr. McGillicuddy/Lulu opened the door.
"Hello? Oh, it's you." Mr. McGillicuddy/Lulu said.
"Um, hello. So uh having a good summer?" Baljeet/Candace asked nervously.
"No. I'm a laughing stock because your-your thing disappeared. No one believes me and I look like a joke. Besides, I'm out of a job, so I'm desperate for some cash."
"Really? Maybe I can help."
"Hah! I doubt it. If I get involved, it might disappear before I see it. Soooo, NO!"
SLAM!
Baljeet/Candace had to do something quick.
"Lulu, I need you to be our school's new journalism teacher. If you do, I'll... I'll let you film my brother's newest, biggest thing ever! It'll be so big, everyone in town will see it!" begged Candace.
"Mr. McGillicuddy, I need to be our school's new science teacher. I'll... I'll rebuild the Portal To Mars, and this time I'll make it so it can travel to other places than Mars, and make it so it won't disappear." begged Baljeet.
Mr. McGillicuddy/Lulu opened the door slightly.
"Really?" Mr. McGillicuddy/Lulu asked.
"Yes yes yes yes yes." said Baljeet/Candace.
"*sigh* Fine, but I want it to be big, everyone to see it, half the credit afterwards, and I'll only join IF I get to show it off to people I don't like and other people who outrank me."
"Deal!"
With that, so ends the double scene and return back to regular time. By the time they got Django's Dad, Mr. McGillicuddy, and Lulu Jones on board and had lunch at Slushy Dog (where Candace noticed Jeremy wasn't there), it was 3:00 P.M.
"*Yawn* I. Am. Bored." said Buford.
"Don't worry Buford, we're almost done. We're just missing the Physicist." said Phineas.
"Um, Phineas, do you know any Physicists who would want to work at a school?" Baljeet asked.
"Not personally, no. However, according to rumors, police reports, and the internet, I know someone in Danville who can help. He was last sighted at the park.
"Sighted?"
"You'll see."
"*sigh* Well, I better call Mom and Dad and tell them that we're heading over there." said Candace.
"Why don't I make the call? Since, you're, you know, driving."
Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house, Lawrence and Linda were too busy planning their move to a new city to notice where the boys were or Candace. Lawrence answered the phone and wished Phineas and Ferb to have a fun time at the park. When he hung up the phone, he heard something.
Ding Dong!
"I'll get it." said Lawrence. When he answered the door, to his surprise he saw a teenage girl nearly Candace's age wearing goth clothes.
"Well, hello. Are you one of Candace's friends?" Lawrence asked.
The girl known as Vanessa wasn't really "friends" with Candace, but she did know her. And if this guy knew where she was, then he would know where the boys were.
"Uhhhh, sure. Is she here?" Vanessa asked.
"Oh, sorry. I'm afraid she's at the park with her brothers. Would you like me to tell her you came by?"
"NO! I mean, no thanks. See ya." As she walked away, she cursed under her breath seeing as she was just at the park a couple minutes ago.
"What a nice girl." said Lawrence.
Back at the park, everyone, including Perry, was following Phineas through the park, with no idea of what they were doing there.
"Phineas, we've been walking around for half an hour, what are we looking for? *sniff* And what's that smell?" Candace asked impatiently.
"Hmm, smells like a BLT on rye, with a man who hasn't bathed in 29,000 years." said Buford.
"How do you know that?" Baljeet asked.
"After years of practice, I can smell how long someone's gone without using a bath." smiled Buford.
"Hold it." said Phineas. He saw an unusually large bush nearby with a half eaten sandwich near it. Phineas had an idea.
"Look, a giant sandwich!" he exclaimed.
"SANDWICHES!"
Out from the bushes came Phineas and Ferb's old caveman, Conk.
"CONK! There you are. I've been wondering where you ran off to." said Phineas.
As Phineas approached the caveman, so shouted, "Conk! I told you to hide."
Phineas turned around and found what he was looking for: Professor Ross Eforp.
"Professor Ross Eforp? What are you doing here?" Baljeet asked.
"Making a cameo. Just kidding, I've been hiding in Danville for 50 years because of my palindrome name." said Professor Ross Eforp.
"Well what are you doing with Conk?" Phineas asked.
"Oh, I found him one day near an overturned sandwich cart, and I took him under my wing because he was good at "finding" sandwiches. It took me a while to name him, but he never liked my choices: Otto, Bob, Racecar, etc."
"Cool. I'm Phineas and this is Ferb. We're huge fans. We actually managed to build your X-7 stadium during the summer."
"That was you? Oh thank you lads, I knew it could be possible."
"Yeah, we gave it to the Snifferton Nostrils. By the way, why are you still hiding?"
"Aside from old habits, apparently universities don't want to hire homeless people here in Danville. I'd go back home, but I'm looking for my long lost son. When I went into hiding, I gave him up to-"
"GAAAAAAH! That's it! I can't take it! This entire day it's just been driving and talking. No bad guys, no musical numbers, nothing. And I'm sick of waiting for these losers to say yes. Look, we're starting a public school, and we need a Physics teacher. Do you want the job or not?" Buford yelled.
"... Okay. As long as I get to bring Conk. He's started to grow on me, plus, I want to teach him football and see what happens." said Professor Eforp.
"Thanks. Maybe when this is over, we'll help with your lost son thing." offered Phineas.
"Maybe, now who's left?" Buford asked impatiently.
"Okay, well it looks like we need a music teacher, a drama teacher, and a librarian." said Phineas.
"I have an idea. I knew we needed those teachers, so the other Fireside girls and I did some research and found out that the people from "Let's All Dance Until We're Sick" is holding a dance contest where the prize is backstage passes to tomorrow's "Battle of the Bands"." said Isabella
"That's great. We can use Ferb's super dancing to win those passes. When is it?"
"Today, in 4 minutes."
"... Dang." said Ferb.
"Then, let's head on over there, quick." said Phineas.
They easily found the dance competition and quickly joined the other people waiting to dance. Candace was very nervous, not about her dancing but because there was an eerie amount of squirrels nearby. Lucky for her, she saw something to help her relax.
"STACY!" she called. Stacy turned and saw Candace. "What are you doing here?"
"Duh, winning those passes. One of the bands at the "Battle of the Bands" is Tiny Cowboy and the Bettys. I was thinking of bringing you and Coltrane." she explained.
"Awww, thanks. Well good luck."
"Thanks, I'm gonna need it. These squirrels won't leave me alone and it's distracting. All day they follow me like I'm a celebrity or something."
The music started and everyone started. As everyone danced, the female host came out and said, "Welcome to the Let's All Dance Until We're Sick Dance Park Contest! The rules are, you have to keep dancing until no one is left but you. You will get eliminated if the judges don't like your dancing or you stop for more than 5 seconds. Now let's dance, everybody.
While everyone danced, Dr. Bloodpudding was watching not to far away with a remote control and several of Mitch's robots.
"This will be too easy. With that alien's robots at my command, I will have Agent P in no time." said Dr. Bloodpudding.
As he made the robots go to the contest, Vanessa wasn't too far away. She saw Bloodpudding and knew she had to stop him.
"Who likes nuts?"
Vanessa turned and saw Norm walking around with a spray can. She figured he might be able to help.
She ran over to him and asked, "Norm, what are you doing here?"
"Hi sis. You know how I run on squirrel power? Well I'm trying to get him another squirrel for a friend, so at least one of us has a friend." said Norm.
"What's with the can?" Vanessa asked.
"It's Nut-In-A-Can. It sprays a mist that smells like mixed nuts that squirrels love."
"That's perfect." said Vanessa. She grabbed the can and tossed it at Dr. Bloodpudding.
BANG!
It hit him right in the head, knocking him out. Unfortunately, he dropped the remote and fell on it, losing control of the robots.
"Uh-oh." said Vanessa.
"Well, I guess we're both lonely now." said Norm to the squirrel. The squirrel jumped out of Norm and ran off. "Aawwwwwwwww." he said shutting down.
With the remote destroyed, the robots went haywire and started attacking the dancers.
"Ferb, watch out." said Phineas. He tackled Ferb just as a he was about to be blasted by a laser. The robots started blasting more people and caused half the dancers to run.
"AHHHHHH!" screamed Candace. She started to run as fast as she could. Unknown to her, the can of nut spray had rolled away from Dr. Bloodpudding and toward Candace. Not looking, she tripped on the spray and landed on the spray.
PSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
"EEEEEE!" she screamed as the cold spray hit her pants.
She got up and noticed that her pants now smelled like peanuts. The squirrels quickly noticed it and ran after her.
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed Candace as she sidestepped lasers and ran from the squirrels.
"Wow, now that is a dancer." said the female host. "That girl is dancing despite being blasted with lasers and chased by squirrels. She might actually win this.
Candace skidded to a halt when she heard that. "Really?"
At that moment, the squirrels reached Candace and started climbing into her pants.
"Oh no, not again. AAAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed. She frantically flailed her legs, just as the music from (S.I.M.P.) started playing.
Candace: There are squirrels in my pants.
Phineas: Wow, check out Candace's brand new dance
Ferb: It's not that new, but it looks so advanced.
Baljeet: Why is she dancing so frantically?
Buford: Maybe she really has to pee.
2 Guys N The Parque (2GNTP): Any dancing fool can clearly see she's got...
S to the I to the M to P!
Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
(S to the I to the M to the P)
2GNTP: Step right over and watch me put it...
S to the I to the M to the P!
While she kicked rapidly, she managed to uppercut one of the robots and destroy.
Phineas: Whoa, did you see that robot, the robot had no chance.
(S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!)
Candace froze as she kicked high and destroyed three more robots
Just look at her pose in a ninja stance.
(S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!)
2GNTP: She's got the moves and agility
Like a teenage girl version of Bruce Lee
But the thing about her individuality is her...
S to the I to the M to P!
Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
(S to the I to the M to the P)
2GNTP: Step right over and watch me put it...
S to the I to the M to the P!
Candace was the last person "dancing" and all the robots started to surround her. She was too busy worrying about the squirrels in her pants. She just kept kicking wildly and bumped into robots. She was running like crazy, causing some of the robots to miss and hit each other.
She leaps, and twirls and likes to prance...
(S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!)
But she knows how to kick butt, if you take a second glance...
(S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!)
Made to kill on a line of assembly
Now she's turning them into debris
She's tougher than any security, cause she's got
S to the I to the M to P!
Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
(S to the I to the M to the P)
2GNTP: Step right over and watch me put it...
Down, down, on the ground... 'Cause you know I got it goin' on!
(S...) S to the I to the M to the P!
(I...) S to the I to the M to the P!
(M...) S to the I to the M to the P!
She's supernatural just like a seance
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Buford (quietly): Am I sick or is this romance?
Baljeet: It's hypnotic, like I'm stuck in a trance
Phineas: Look at her, she's the queen of the dance!
That's my big sis,
That's Candace.
Candace: And I've got SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS!
With that, the song ended and the last robot was destroyed. The only thing remaining was Candace.
"Nice musical accompaniment" said Phineas.
"Hey, no prob. Anything for the queen of S.I.M.P." said one of the members of 2GNTP
"Dang, those robots got served." said the other guy.
While Candace was still dealing with the squirrel problem, the female host came to her and said "Congratulations! You and your friends are getting backstage passes to tomorrow's Battle of the Bands. Would you like to say anythin?"
Candace replied, "Yes, yes I do. ... GET THESE SQUIRRELS OUT OF MY PANTS!"
End of Ch. 7
I hope you liked this chapter. Phineas and the gang have 4 days left until summer's over, can they save the day? WHo will be the next villain to attack, if any? Will anyone help Candace get the squirrels out of her pants? Find out in Ch. 8 "Battle of the Bands". Please review, check out my poll on my profile, and if you have an idea on who the next 3 (possible) teachers are PM me and have a nice day.