I don't own Phineas, Ferb, or any of the many characters returning in this chapter.
Ch. 8: Battle of the Bands
That Thursday, Candace drove Phineas, Ferb, Stacy, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, Perry, and herself to the Battle of the Bands.
Luckily, they managed to get to the outdoor event despite the huge amount of traffic. As they searched for a parking space, Phineas looked out the window and stared at the arena where the Battle of the Bands was at. It was a huge concert arena, about 30-50 ft. tall. Candace remembered the building. Phineas and Ferb promoted aglets there, but for some reason forgot.
Once they found their parking spot, they headed for the entrance. They had to wait in line, but the line was fast so it wasn't a problem. Except for Candace, who was impatiently tapping her foot.
"Why isn't this line moving? HURRY UP!" she complained.
"Calm down, Candace. The line will move up eventually. Until then, you're just going to have to wait just like everyone else." said Phineas.
As he said that, a bunch of teens cut to the front of the line.
"Well, maybe not everyone here." corrected Ferb.
"HEY!" yelled Candace as she chased after the teens. She caught one of them by their shoulder and said "Nobody cuts-"
"Candace?"
The boy she caught turned around and Candace recognized him. It was her boyfriend Jeremy.
"Jeremy? What are you doing here?" she asked.
"My band is playing here." he explained.
"It is? Why didn't you tell me? I would have loved to see you guys play."
"I thought you knew. I told Suzy to tell you-"
"Ooooh, now I get it."
"Get what?"
"...Never mind."
"Say, if you guys want, I can let you guys come in with us so you don't have to wait." he offered.
"Okay!"
"Thanks." said Phineas.
While Jeremy helped Candace and everyone else get in, Vanessa was just arriving in her boyfriend's car. She got out and slammed the door.
"Thanks for the ride." said Vanessa.
"No prob." said Johnny, in the car seat.
"You sure you don't want to stay?"
"Nah. My mom's got me doing back to school shopping junk. That and I didn't tell her I took the car."
With that, he revved off leaving Vanessa in a cloud of dust. As the dust cleared, she saw Phineas and Ferb enter the arena. She only focused on them for a second because she saw something in the corner of her eye something more important.
A large, muscle-bound man was arguing with the ticket guy not too far away, and even though he was in a trench coat, he stuck out like a green thumb. Emphasis on green. Vanessa knew she couldn't take him, so she decided to do the next best thing: warn the boys.
Lucky for her, the security guard watching the entrance was brought over to help the guy with the muscle bond dude. Vanessa took this as her chance. Looking to make sure no one would try to stop her, she made a dash for the turn-style. She managed to flip over it like a professional gymnast.
She looked around and saw Phineas talking with Candace.
"You sure it's okay that we can have your passes?" Phineas asked.
"Yeah yeah, sure. Just find us those last three teachers so I don't have to move and break up with Jeremy. Besides, I want to see if Jeremy's band has any merchandise with his face on it." rushed Candace.
"Alright, thanks again. Come on guys."
Phineas led his friends to the back stage door while Candace left with Stacy to look for purses and junk.
"Hey! Stop!" yelled a guard who saw Vanessa sneak in.
"Uh-Oh." she said, as she ran into the sea of people.
"Attention all guards. Be on the look out for a goth acrobat who broke in her, probably with pure intentions to protect a young boy she knows and save him from her evil father and other villains, but still has to be captured because she broke a minor rule, and we're stupid, cliche guards!" reported the guard on his radio.
As more guards pursued Vanessa, the trench coated man slipped in unnoticed and headed for the back stage door.
After Isabella bought a cute new purse and Baljeet bought a shirt with the pictures of the Bettys on it (which Buford forced him to buy because Buford didn't want anyone see him buy it), they made their way to the back stage door.
"Alright guys, keep your eyes peeled. We need to find three musicians who would make great teachers." said Phineas.
"Oh that's what we're doing. Then why did I tell those three great teachers to become musicians?" said Buford.
"I can think of a few reasons." said Baljeet.
"Guys focus." said Phineas as he looked at the bouncer. "Excuse me Mister-"
"I AM THE REG- I mean the back stage bouncer!" said the trench coat guy from before. Lights flickered and lightning sounds came from nowhere.
"... Ookaaaaay. We'd like to go back stage please."
"VIP passes?" Phineas handed him the passes, and after a quick look, he gave them back to Phineas.
"Yep, looks good. ENJOY THE CONCERT!" he said as lightning flashed and dramatic music boomed.
"We WILL!" said Baljeet.
"ONLY I DO THAT!"
"AHHHHH!" screamed Baljeet.
As Baljeet was the last to enter, screaming in fear. Little did Phineas know that the trench coated man had switched their VIP passes for fakes, just as the real bouncer came by.
"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked suspiciously.
"Oh uh I'm waiting for you. I have my pass." said the trench coat man. He gave it to the guy, who took a quick look at the pass and gave it back.
"Alright, go on in."
"Thanks, by the way, I think some kids snuck in there without passes."
"WHAT! Thanks for the tip." he said rushing inside.
"My pleasure." the trench coated man said sinisterly.
While the man in the trench coat snuck in, Vanessa was still running for her life.
"Get back here!" yelled the guard.
"NO!" yelled Vanessa.
"Darn. I thought that would work."
Vanessa looked back to see the guards to see the guards gaining on her, when suddenly-
BANG!
Vanessa came to a stop as she crashed into Candace, as she was admiring herself with a Tiny Cowboy hairpin.
"Ow, watch where you're- hey haven't I seen you before." they said simultaneously.
"Wait, aren't you Ferb's sister?" Vanessa asked.
"Aren't you that girl Ferb lllllllllllloaned a book too?" she said stopping herself from saying "like".
"Uh no, but I Ferb is in trouble. There's a guy here looking for them and-"
"Oh, I get it; this is part of their game." Candace thought.
"What?"
"FREEZE!" yelled the security guard, with another guard next to him.
Vanessa got up and raised her hands.
"You two, Sally Four-Fingers!" shouted another guard to Candace.
"What? Me?"
"Yeah you. We can see the hairpin that you shoplifted in your purse."
Candace looked and sure enough, the hairpin she was wearing was in her purse. When Vanessa crashed into her, the hair pin fell out and fell into her bag.
"No no no no, it's not what it looks like." said Candace.
"Tell it to the judge." said the guard.
"HIYAH!"
WHACK!
Vanessa surprised the guard by giving him a roundhouse kick, which sent him crashing into his partner.
"Wow." said Candace.
"Come on." said Vanessa as she pulled Candace by her arm. "We need to find your brothers."
"...Okay." said Candace, having a mixture of admiration and fear of Vanessa.
Backstage, everyone else was backstage checking out the 3 famous bands they knew while Phineas let Perry wander around. On the couch, were the Bettys, spending their free time reading magazines, Tiny Cowboy was having a slice of meatloaf, and Jeremy and his band were setting up for their performance. On stage, there were two giant amps bigger than Candace and a giant disco ball hanging over the stage.
After getting a good look around, Phineas said to everyone, "Alright guys, let's split up and find us-"
"Not so fast."
Phineas was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and lifted up as the real bouncer sneered at him.
"Hey! Watcha doin, you jerk!" said Isabella.
"I got a tip that some kids snuck backstage without VIP passes. And I just caught one of them" said the angry bouncer.
"What? That's crazy." said Phineas.
"Yeah, you stupid moron, we got our passes. Show him Phineas." yelled Buford rudely.
"Yeah, hold on." said Phineas, as he gave his passes to the bouncer.
The Bouncer looked at him and yelled "DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT!"
"Yes, yes he does." said Buford. Isabella tackled him and tried to restrain him before he said something else.
"These passes are drawn with crayon!" he said, showing Phineas several napkins that said "VIP" on them.
"Oh, uh heh heh, who hasn't used crayon?" Phineas laughed weakly.
The Bouncer had reached his limit and was about to sock Phineas when suddenly...
"Hands off the fan!"
Out of nowhere, two hairpicks were thrown like ninja stars and perfectly struck the Bouncers' sleeves and stuck to the wall. He tried to free himself, but they were stuck.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at where the hairpicks came from. Phineas smiled happily as he saw that he was saved by Love Handel. Danny walked over and got Phineas out the bouncer's clutches.
"Thanks, Danny." Phineas said.
"No prob, man." replied Danny. "Now can someone explain what's going on here?
At that moment, everyone exploded mumbled words and badly made explanations. Meanwhile, Perry was sleeping on the couch when suddenly he was grabbed.
"AHA! I finally have you back in my grasp." said the trench coat man. Perry looked up and didn't need a second look to recognize the sinister look of the Regurgitator. "It's payback time, runt. You're coming with me." he said silently. "And don't try anything funny. There are a lot of people back here who would love to tell everyone about a secret agent platypus. So just sit back and enjoy the show."
Perry hoped Phineas and Ferb would do something, but they were too busy to help. It looked like he was doomed.
SLAM!
That's when Candace and Vanessa slammed the door open, right in the Regurgitator's face. They closed the doors quickly and hid behind one of the amps as he fell to the floor. Perry managed to squirm free, just as 14 guards came in, trampling over the Regurgitator. Perry crawled to Phineas and started tugging on his pant leg.
"Huh? Not now Perry, we're busy. As I was saying-" said Phineas.
Perry started to worry as he noticed the Regurgitator was getting up. Meanwhile, Candace and Vanessa were hiding behind the giant amp
"Yes, we lost them." said Candace.
"Now what?" Vanessa asked.
"Um, what are you two doing back there?" Jeremy asked as he put the amp on to 3.
"Oh hi Jeremy. Um Jeremy this is Vanessa. Vanessa, my boyfriend Jeremy. Any way, long story short, we need a place to hide." said Candace quickly.
"Um, okay. Just pretend that you're back-up singers. Just sing the last thing I say." Jeremy told them as the curtains came up.
Perry was still trying to get Phineas' attention, but it was no use. Phineas wouldn't pay attention.
"Gotcha." winced the Regurgitator, as grabbed Perry. Perry was slightly surprised to see the Regurgitator get up so fast. "You can push me down, but I'll always come back up." he said smiling sinisterly.
With all the guards around, the Regurgitator thought it would be best to sneak through the rafters to avoid being seen.
"And that's what happened." finished Phineas.
"Well, that's an interesting story guys, but I think we're going to have to pass you down." said Danny.
"What!"
"Sorry man, but we're still trying to get Love Handel back on the top. This gig might get us back on top. Even though I'm sure Bobbi would have a great dramatic- I mean drama teacher."
"Oh well. C'mon Ferb. Let's grab Perry and- Hey where's Perry?" said Phineas.
"Grgrgrgrgrgr." Perry chattered.
Everyone looked up and saw Perry in the clutches of the Regurgitator as he climbed up the ladder to the rafters.
"Perry!" yelled Phineas. "Hold on boy, we're coming." Phineas ran to the ladder and climbed after the Regurgitator, while Ferb followed him.
"Oh, this will not end well." said Baljeet.
As Phineas climbed after the Regurgitator, he could see something unusual about Perry that he never saw before: worry. He had never seen Perry this worried and almost looked a bit scared. With that, Phineas climbed faster and reached the top just as the Regurgitator.
The Regurgitator saw the boys and got something out.
As Phineas helped Ferb up, he said "Alright Ferb, let's-"
"You're not doing anything." said the Regurgitator, with Perry in one hand and a ray gun in the other.
Phineas and Ferb stopped as the Regurgitator kept his finger on the trigger.
"Um, can we have Perry back now?" Phineas asked.
"No way, we have bigger plans for Agent P." he said.
"Agent P? Ferb, when this is all over and we get the school running, we should probably find out what he's talking about."
"Oh, it's over alright."
He pointed the ray gun at Ferb and fired. Ferb quickly jumped over the laser. The Regurgitator sneered at him and fired again, but Ferb dodged it again.
"Hold still!" he shouted. He fired repeatedly at Ferb as Ferb continued to dodge the lasers with complicated dance moves. Phineas couldn't help but smile as Ferb danced.
"Go Ferb!" cheered Phineas.
Creak!
They stopped and wondered where that came from. Ferb looked below him and realized that he was standing above the cable for the disco ball.
"Uh-oh." said Phineas. "Look out!"
CRACK!
The cable broke and huge disco ball fell to the stage below. Too make things worse, it was about to fall on Jeremy.
Only one person heard that: Candace. Over the summer, she got better at listening for Phineas and Ferb, so she heard them clearly. She looked up and gasped as the gigantic disco ball fell.
"JEREMY!" she screamed.
She tackled Jeremy out of the way just as the disco ball was about to hit them. Everyone on stage shielded their eyes to avoid the shards of glass.
"Wow. Uh Candace?" said Jeremy.
"Yeah?" she then realized she was right on top of Jeremy in front of a crowd of people. "Oh, sorry."
"Not that. That." he said pointing above them. Candace looked and saw her brothers high up with the Regurgitator. She yelled "PHINEAS AND FERB!"
Ferb got distracted and lost his footing, and nearly fell off the rafters. He managed to grab hold of the side before he fell, but the Regurgitator planned to fix that.
He fired a shot at one of Ferb's hands and missed. Furious, he stepped on Ferb's hand and made Ferb lose his hold.
"Any last words?" the Regurgitator.
"*mumble*" Ferb said.
"What?"
"*mumble*"
"Speak up!"
Ferb motioned him to lower his head so he could whisper something. He lowered his head to hear.
"Now what was-?"
"Nobody threatens my family." he said as he punched the Regurgitator. The Regurgitator was enraged and picked up Ferb.
"I'm going to enjoy this." he growled. Then he let go and Ferb fell.
"NOOOOOO!" yelled Phineas.
Ferb fell silently, not bothering to scream in fear. He just looked at the glass that he was about to hit and closed his eyes and tried to spend his last moments thinking of something to lessen the pain: Vanessa. He knew this would hurt, but if this was the end, he wanted to spend it looking at the most beautiful thing he loved.
The Regurgitator was expecting a splat, but instead, he saw something else: a goth girl catching Ferb mid air.
Vanessa leaped over the glass and caught Ferb mid jump and landed safely on the other side. Ferb was expecting darkness. But he heard only one thing.
"Ferb?"
He opened his eyes and saw Vanessa looking at him.
"Am I dreaming?" he said.
"You wish." she said as she placed him down.
"WHAT? NO!" he said raising his hands in anger. Then he realized something: Perry wasn't in his hand. He turned and saw Phineas holding Perry with a sly look on his face.
"Bye bye." said Phineas.
The Regurgitator fired at Phineas, but he dodged and grabbed hold of sandbag. The ray gun zapped the rope next to it and he watched as Phineas and Perry were gently lowered as they rode the sandbag down.
As they reached the bottom, Phineas jumped off and rejoined with his brother. Isabella and the other joined Phineas and welcomed him with a hug.
"Nice job distracting him Ferb. Though in retrospect, in was probably a bit risky." said Phineas.
"A BIT? You guys nearly killed yourself! Phineas and Ferb, you guys are so-" yelled Candace.
"Hang on a sec. Did she say "Phineas and Ferb"?" asked Lionel from Tiny Cowboys.
The Bettys, Tiny Cowboy, and Love Handel rushed over when they heard that.
"Yes, that's us." said Phineas.
"As in "Phineas and the Ferbtones"?" asked Crash from the Bettys.
"Yep, that's us."
"*Gasp*"
Then, they all bow to them.
"We're not worthy, we're not worthy." said the Tiny Cowboy members.
"Uh, what's going on?" asked Candace.
"Everyone loves Phineas and The Ferb-tones. Even we idolize their one-hit wonder." said Crash.
"We have to jam some time." said Adrian.
"Sure, but maybe we should deal with the green guy first." Buford reminded.
Meanwhile, the Regurgitator was climbing down the ladder grumbling under his breath. As he climbed down, he heard a "whir" sound. He turned around and saw that he was behind the giant amp. Down below, Candace had turned it to 11 and plugged in a guitar.
"Nobody tries to kill my boyfriend and brothers." she said. She raised a pick and strummed a chord.
BOOM!
With one note, the Regurgitator was sent flying into the air.
"You can't stop the REGURGITATOOOOOOR!" he screamed.
"Looks like the Regurgitator just got thrown up-wards." joked Candace.
"..."
"Really?" Buford said.
"Well you guys think of one."
"The Regurgitator personally made me sick." said Ferb.
HA AH AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH HA!
"Everyone's a critic." said Candace.
"Uh, Phineas." said Danny. "The guys and I talked it over and we've decided to take your teaching offer."
"Really, that's great. What changed your mind?" asked Phineas.
"Your sister's awful guitar playing. Sounds like you guys are desperate."
"I'm standing right here." said Candace.
"...Anyway, when can we jam?" asked Crash.
"Yeah, maybe at our next concert or something." offered Adrian.
As Candace heard this, she smiled wickedly and thought of a bust-worthy plan.
"Oh guys. I have an idea. Why don't you perform with both of them on Sunday. At a huge fair, with musicians, celebrities, freaks, some of your inventions, food, rides that you can make, and etc." she said faking interest.
"Hey, that sounds like a great idea. We can use the money to get the school's budget back." said Phineas.
"Sounds like we got a plan." said Ferb.
"Not to ruin the moment, but can you guys give me a ride back into town?" Vanessa asked.
Back at OWCA, Carl was checking up on Major Monogram.
"Si-sir? You haven't ordered anything in the past few days and the other agents are starting to worry." said Carl.
"Carl, I'm fine. I've been... thinking and I've come to a decision that I don't like." said Major Monogram.
"You're giving up the hunt for Agent P?"
"NO! I've... I've decided to bring in the Big Three."
"The Big Three, sir?"
"Yes Carl, the Big 3. These are the most powerful agents on Earth. One of them is an agent that is ruthless and straight forward. He waits for no one, not even a villain's back story, and does the job one way or another. The other is a man of finesse and fighting. He has several weapons and gadgets that would shock even you. He left us because he preferred not to work with animals."
"Wow, they sound dangerous, sir. Why didn't you do this before?"
"Because the last agent is the most dangerous and is the final key that makes the team unstoppable, but I was hesitated to use him. The last agent is an Agent that's gone rouge. We managed to capture him, but he's too strong to wipe his memory, so our only hope is to keep him caged deep in the OWCA headquarters. He's evil, manipulative, but can beat Agent P in a fight. With these three, we may be able to finally get Agent P."
"Well, here's hoping that they succeed."
"... Yes, but I have faith they can stop him, what I worry is can they stop?"
End of Ch.8
Oooooh, suspenseful. Who are the Big Three? Well, they're all characters that have been on the show, you just have to read the clues. Will Candace succeed in her plan to bust the boys? Can Perry stop the Big Three? Find out in Ch. 9: Perry's Last Stand. PS2wizard out, peace!