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A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
By SHADO Commander
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'Why,' Kim Possible wondered as she trudged towards the door, a damp towel wrapped around her shivering frame, 'Do people only show up unannounced at my house when I'm half naked?'
That wasn't exactly true, maybe, but she'd noticed that it had been happening more often lately than not. Of course, that may have had something to do with the fact that her clothes usually hit the laundry basket when she came in from a mission and didn't go back on again until she was ready to leave. This wasn't because she was a nudist or anything like that… she just really hated doing laundry and sitting around the house in her underwear was her way of putting minimal wear on her remaining stock of clean outerwear.
Okay, with that all in mind, maybe it wasn't so odd that she was usually half naked, but this time she'd actually been in the shower, which inevitably meant someone so desperate to talk to her that they'd keep pounding until she finally showed up.
"Hold your horses, I'm coming!" Kim yelled, opening the door to find a wizened but improbably tall Asian monk. Or he could have been selling insurance, but the shaved head, long white Manchu mustache and collection of scrolls under his left arm made Kim suspect that her first assumption was correct. Though the fact that he was at least eight foot tall made professional basketball player another possibility.
'Most likely a quest,' She sighed to herself. Those always went on a little longer than she'd really like and she always ran out of clean underwear. 'What is it with me and this fixation with laundry, lately, anyway?'
"May I help you?" is what she said out loud.
"KIMBERLY ANN POSSIBLE," the Monk spoke in all capitals, "YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FROM AMONGST ALL OTHERS FOR THE UNIQUE COMBINATION OF TALENTS WHICH YOU, ALONE, POSSESS!"
"Whoa," Kim winced, wishing she could cover her ears. Unfortunately, to do so would have meant letting go of her towel and exposing the Monk to something that he might have to flagellate himself for seeing and/or thinking about. "Could you watch the volume? I use these ears for something besides holding up my sunglasses."
"SORRY! I Mean sorry," the Monk blushed. "I just broke a vow of silence this morning and I haven't quite got the hang of this speaking thing yet."
"Right," Kim nodded. "So look… I'm half naked and dripping wet, so why don't you come in and wait in the kitchen while I see if I can find something to wear. Then you can tell me all about it."
"RIG.. right," The Monk agreed cheerfully. "Do you have a toaster? I've always wanted to see one of those."
"Shiny thing with two slots on top," Kim replied, pointing towards the kitchen. "Can't miss it."
"Groovy," the Monk grinned, exiting in the indicated direction.
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Minutes later, now wearing a pair of lime green shorts with purple polka dots, an orange muscle shirt with the logo 'Honorary Graduate, Phoenix University,' emblazoned across the chest in magenta and a pair of yellow flip flops, Kim walked into the kitchen to find the Monk repeatedly opening and closing her waffle iron on his own hand while making sounds like the trash compactor on the Death Star.
"Oh… uh…" He blushed.
"Done it myself a few times," Kim admitted. "Now tell me what this task you have in mind is, and why I'm the one who has to do it?"
"Well…, The Monk began, "To address the latter first, the Brotherhood has asked around, and one of the schools with which we share a mutual frequent astral-travelers' club affiliation recommended you most highly."
"Yamanouichi," Kim stated. She should have known. Sensei was notorious for giving her name out for everything. "Look, not to say I'm not honored, but I'm sure that there are a lot of people out there who can do the same things that I can do and…"
"Not," The Monk interrupted, "Who are also skilled at Babysitting."
"Huh? Kim did a double take. "What was that?"
"The Brotherhood requires a babysitter," the Monk repeated. "Tell me, Miss Possible… have you ever heard of The Golden Child?"
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AN: Yeah, kind of a hanger there, and I do know where the story would go (Hint: the previous babysitters were Ron and Yori, now missing,) but I figured it wouldn't hurt to float the balloon here and see if anyone still remembers that flick. Anyhoo… LEGAL SCHTUFF: Kim Possible is the creation of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and her name is a trademarks of the Disney media organizations. The Golden Child is the creation of Denis Feldman and the property of Paramount Pictures. Although use in this context may be considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, for these prudish, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shown should be considered to be over the legal age of 18….