AN: thanks for the reviews, and thanks to Georgia Dawgette for her awesome work of betaing this chapter.

Chapter 2

Bella was sleeping soundly when she was awakened by a strange noise. It sounded like something was hitting the glass of her window; she stood up and looked down into the night. As soon as she saw Jared standing there, she opened the window. She took in his disheveled appearance, his cropped hair was messy and he looked thoroughly upset. "Hi Jared? Want to come up?" she asked softly.

He looked up at her, and shook his head. "Can you come down?"

She nodded, "Give me five minutes." She put on some warm clothes, and then tiptoed down the stairs. She went to the kitchen and opened the back door. Hopefully, Charlie would not be disturbed by her noise.

Bella walked down the stairs, and as usual tripped. She started to scream, but the noise was muffled by the chest her mouth was resting on. She was in Jared warm arms; she retreated quickly and blushed. "So..Sorry, I'm so clumsy."

She bit her lip and realized that it tasted slightly salty, and she blushed even more deeply. She could taste him on her lips; when she could finally look up she took in his dark expression.

"Hi Bella." He whispered. "Jake told me... you said that I could come, if I needed to talk. I guess... I just didn't want to continue to burden the pack..."

Instinctively Bella put a hand on his arm, as his sadness overwhelmed her. "No Jared! You aren't a burden to them. They love you, and I'm sure they are very sorry for you know..." She took a deep breath. "I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but I do understand a little how much someone could suffer from a loss like yours."

Jared put his hand on hers. "Will it... will it ever get better?"

She felt tears prick her eyes. "I would be lying if I told you that it will. If it hadn't been for Jake, I would probably not have survived. Sometimes you lose your mind so much that it feels like there is no way out, but you have your brothers, Emily and me. We'll always be there for you."

He grimaced and whispered. "You won't."

She opened her mouth to deny, but then she closed it. "Jared, I... you are right, I probably won't, but I'll try to be there for as long as you will need me."

He looked into her eyes. "What will happen after we kill Victoria? Will you leave with the Cullen's?"

Bella was entranced by his eyes, so dark and somber. "I don't know. That was the plan, but at the moment I'm having doubts about some of the choices I've made."

Jared nodded. "Sorry that I woke you up, I just thought you would understand how I'm feeling. I still have the image in my head of when Sam found you in the forest. Your feelings seemed similar to how I feel right now. I'm trying to be strong, to hope that maybe Kim is still alive, or at least that I'll be able to avenge her."

Bella was starting to get worried; he was jumping from argument to argument without really following any logical order. He was definitely out of it, but what could she do? "Really Jared, it's ok. I know what you mean, I must have been a frightening sight, but as I told you, Jake kind of helped me out of it."

Jared closed his hands into fists. "Can you tell me why?"

She was confused, "Why what?"

Jared was still looking down. "Why would you want to be a leech? What about it is so appealing? You will be dead, you know?"

Bella gulped, she took a deep breath and moved a step back from him, because in that moment he truly seemed dangerous. "I've just decided to do it because the man I love is a vampire. I want to be with him forever, and that's the only way."

Jared took a step forward and then snatched her arm. "You can't be turned. The pack lost Kim. I won't let you die too."

Bella was starting to panic, "Jared, it's not going to happen right now. I'm here, and I'm human. Can we talk about this another time? It's kind of late."

His eyes narrowed. "Are you scared Isabella? Can you finally see that our mystical world is not all flowers and hearts?"

She gulped, and then she put a hand on his arm again. "Jared you are hurting. I can see that, and now you are saying things you don't mean, but it's okay. I can take them, just please don't do this to yourself."

He pushed her then, and she stumbled back and fell. "You don't know anything. You think that just because Jake didn't imprint on you, he will be on his merry way after you get turned into a leech. Well, I've got news for you, it will break him completely. He will be a shell of himself... just like I am now. I won't let what happened to me happen to another of us, consider yourself warned."

Bella opened her mouth to reply, but he quickly turned away from her and ran towards the trees. She sat there on the ground, confused and hurt. Was she really going to destroy Jake? Could she really let the pack and those she loved suffer for her own selfishness? She had so much to think about, but most importantly she would try to steer clear of Jared. He clearly wasn't in his right mind and she was scared that he would go to any length to prevent her from being changed.

That is, if it was what she still wanted. Again, Bella felt panic rise in her heart. Was she really considering staying human? Could she really give Edward up? An image of her handsome vampire appeared in her mind, she needed him, and could never give him up. But, was she ready to die? Definitely not yet, but eventually she would give her life up if only to be with Edward.

Kim's disappearance had brought so many doubts and fears, but she would get through them. After all she had Edward at her side, and needed nothing but him. She was going to appease the pack by giving them the impression that maybe she would stay human, but as soon as everything was settled she would marry Edward and be changed by him.

For a moment, the lean, muscular form of Jared appeared in her mind; she remembered his dark eyes, his warmth, and the taste of his skin. She shook her head pushing those thoughts away; she just must have been really shocked by his appearance, manners, well really, the whole thing. She slowly stood up and she went back to her room. Sleep came much later, and with it brought nothing but nightmares.