AN: thanks for the reviews, and thanks to Georgia Dawgette for her help in making this chapter so nice to read and very enjoyable.
3.
Bella awoke with a start. She had been dreaming, but she couldn't remember about what. She shook her head trying to clear the lingering thoughts from her mind; she was still a bit spooked about her meeting last night with Jared.
She closed her eyes, and could still remember him smiling and laughing with Kim; that definitely wasn't the same man that scared her yesterday. She shivered when she recalled what had occurred last night.
After getting lost again in her thoughts, Bella decided to relax for a while. She browsed her small library, and took out Wuthering Heights, she had read it so many times, but she loved the tormented relationships between Heathcliff and Catherine. She frowned, when she realized that Heathcliff reminded her of Jared.
She was startled out of her brooding when her cell phone rang, and when she saw that it was Jake she fervently hoped that it wasn't any more bad news. "Jake! Has something else happened?"
Jake sighed. "No Bells, and there isn't any news regarding Kim either." He seemed tired and sad.
Bella sighed too. "Well the change takes three days to go through, we have to wait to be sure."
"God Bells! Don't remind me!" whispered Jake.
She felt her heart squeeze. "How is Jared? I mean after yesterday..."
"He seems he is holding up, actually he appeared to be doing a bit better. Last night he went for a walk, and when he came back he seemed more resolute and balanced. We don't really know what happened though." Jake said.
Bella was surprised. "Can't you read it in his mind?" If Jared wasn't allowing anyone to know where he had been, she wasn't sure that it was her place to reveal his whereabouts.
He seemed thoughtful. "Well, with all the other members of the pack we can, but Jared has always been good at hiding his thoughts. As Sam's beta, he's had to keep more secrets than the others. Beside on the outside he is funny and easy going, but his mind is quite different. He is very reserved and deep, so his thoughts have never been easy to read."
Bella absorbed this information. She sighed, and immediately determined that she wasn't going to tell Jake. For some unknown reasons she just knew that she should keep Jared's secret. After all, Jake had said that he seemed better after their talk. For now she would just add Jared's bizarre late night drop in to the long pile of secrets she was already keeping. She wondered if one day she would explode from the pressure of it all. "So where is he now?" Hopefully as far away from her as possible, she added silently.
"He is still staying with Sam and Emily. We don't know yet what problems will come from his bond. I mean imprinting links the soul of two people, and if she is still between life and death at the moment, they are still connected. We don't know after the change. I mean... if they have a soul or something..."
She felt faint. "If ... if she still has a soul... he will feel the bond calling to him?"
Jake sighed again. "Probably, maybe the bond will call to her as well. That way we will be able to get to her sooner, and then we can grant her a quick death."
The way he was talking about killing Kim gave her the creeps. "Jake can't you even think about... sparing her? Really the Cullen's..."
"Enough Bella! I told you, if she is a leech she will die. I need to go." The line went dead.
Bella knew that Jake was upset, they all loved Kim and it wasn't going to be easy for any of them to have to kill her, but they would do it anyway. After all they believed that it was the right thing to do.
Today Bella had nothing in particular to do, she knew Edward would be there soon, and oddly enough that thought didn't bring as much excitement as usual. This situation with Jared was definitely messing up her life, and she felt powerless to stop it. She had lied and hid their encounter from Jacob, and now she couldn't confess it to either Edward or Jacob without making it look worse than it really was.
She was upset about after her talk with Jake, so she picked the book up again, and tried to lose herself in the story, she had just started the scene when Catherine is dying, and finally her and Heathcliff are reunited, albeit not for long, when a sound made her look up to see Edward enter through the window with a smile in his intense golden eyes, and when he saw her serious expression he asked, "Love? Are you still troubling yourself over that wolf's girl?"
Bella's worry faded a little as she quickly became irritated at him. "That girl has a name, and it's Kim. I care about her, and I also feel sorry for Jared."
Edward put up his hand. "Sorry love, I come in peace. But there really is nothing you can do for Kim."
Bella sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry for taking my frustration out on you. " Edward sat down next to her, and took her hand in his cold one. Bella didn't know when she had started to notice his body temperature, and she wondered why it was suddenly bothering her.
"Can I ask you something, though?" She waited until he nodded before continuing on. "Have you read Jared's mind, since you've been training with the wolves?"
Her vampire fiancée frowned. "Let me think, Jared... well yes, kind of."
His words piqued her interest. "What do you mean kind of? Have you or haven't you?"
Edward shrugged. "His mind is much like your dad's. I can pick up some thoughts, like his deep love for Kim and how much he cares for his pack-brothers, but other things are more fleeting. I just catch snippets, but not whole thoughts. I guess if I tried I could probably read his mind, but I've never really bothered. He does think about you sometimes though."
Bella felt her heart miss a bit. "What... what does he think?" she found her curiosity to be quite strange, but she couldn't shake the talk with Jared, or her desire to understand him better, out of her mind.
Edward was starting to look at her with worry. "Just your smile, your blush, harmless thoughts. Why do you want to know?"
Bella shook her head. "I was just curious. It's just strange that neither you nor the pack are able to read his mind properly, he must be very strong willed. Anyway, can we go to your house today? I think being with you and your family will bring some peace of mind." He nodded and after she put on her jacket, he took her with him through the forest to the Cullen's house.
Luckily for her, Charlie had to take extra shifts to cover for a few of his men that were sick. This gave her more freedom, though, with Victoria still at large she worried about her dad's safety. The only comfort was that both the pack and the Cullen's had put a bodyguard on him throughout the day.
She spent the day there quite happily but just not as serene as usual, it was fun playing videogames with Emmett and letting Alice play Bella-Barbie for a few hours. Edward finally took her home around ten in the evening. "I'll be back around one, love. We need to do some more training with the wolves. One of them will be patrolling around here though; I think it might be your Jared."
Bella grimaced. "He is not my Jared. Please stop being so fixated on him, I just asked a few questions. If you didn't want to answer, you could have said so."
Edward remained silent for a moment. "Bella, are you ok? You keep snapping at me, and you've been looking tense."
Bella felt her fury rise. "Okay? Okay? How can I possibly be okay? Kim is probably a vampire, the pack is devastated and you ask me if I'm okay? It really shouldn't take a mind reader to know that I'm not remotely okay. I just need to rest, please don't come back tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."
Edward took her hand into his. "Love, please don't leave me this way. I'm sorry, I'm tense too because of Victoria, the newborns, and now with having to fight as a vampire someone we know. I'm just worried about you, and you know that I love you."
Bella sighed and snuggled into his cold arms. "I know, I'm sorry for taking my stress out on you, I love you very much, but I'll see you tomorrow anyway, okay? I just feel like I need some space tonight to think."
Edward nodded, and he seemed a little reassured. "Okay love, rest well." He didn't wait for her to enter her house before he disappeared quickly into the night.
She was almost to the door when she felt a swish of air behind her. She turned and met the dark intense eyes of Jared. She desperately tried to look calm, but she failed miserably, her heart was exploding in her chest. "Hi Ja..Jared."
He took another step towards her, and when she tried to put some distance between them she bumped into the door. She was stuck. "Why didn't you tell Jake about last night?" he asked roughly.
Bella took a deep breath, and immediately realized her mistake. His smell, musky, hearty with a mix of spice attacked her nostrils unsettling her even more. "I... I thought that you didn't want your pack-brothers to know." she whispered.
He leaned closer to her. "How do you stand it?"
She was confused, what was he talking about? He must have seen her confusion because he went on. "How can you stand to be in his cold embrace? How do you tolerate his stone body wrapped around yours? It disgusts me to even imagine it, much less having to see it."
Bella was starting to get terrified; Jared was clearly out of control. Nobody knew what had transpired the night before, and here she was yet again stuck with him and his obviously frail mind. "Jared, could you step back please? Just because I didn't tell Jacob about last night, it doesn't give you the right to constantly try to intimidate me."
His eyes darkened further, and his warm breath washed over her face. "Are you afraid of me Isabella? Because, right now you are the only thing that is keeping me sane. I am inexplicably drawn to you." He lifted his hand, and caressed her cheek.
Bella started to tremble. His hot hand was touching her face, and his touch felt so different from Jake's. She knew that Jake would stop if she asked, but what about Jared? He was volatile, and that made the whole situation even scarier. "Please Jared, let go of me. If you want to talk, I'm here but don't ... please don't touch me."
Jared came even closer. "What are you going to do if I don't stop? You are powerless Isabella, you depend so much on others for protection that it's pathetic. You just trust everyone not to hurt you, because let's face it ... you are the only human in this war."
Bella opened her mouth to reply, but she was cut off by his mouth. She struggled against him, but he was too strong. He was pinning her to the door, his mouth firmly on hers. At first she tried to fight him, but far too quickly she willingly surrendered to the feelings that he evoked in her. His smell, his warmth, his powerful aura. She closed her eyes and let herself being consumed by this strange new need to be with him.
She felt Jared wrench himself away from her, and when she opened her eyes she saw him swiping his mouth on his arm. His look was wild and unguarded. Swiftly as he came, he disappeared into the forest.
Bella slowly slid down and sat on the ground. Shock and confusion were muddling her mind. What the hell had just happened? Why did he kiss her? Why the hell did she kiss him back? She put her hand to her lips; they were still tingling with his warmth and roughness.
Had he lost his mind? Should she tell Jake? A wave of embarrassment washed through her at that thought, no she couldn't! She had kissed him back, how could she possibly justify that to Jake and Edward? Or for that matter, how could she justify it to herself? Honestly, she couldn't, so yet another secret, another betrayal was added to the list.
She wanted so much to hate Jared, but she couldn't. There was such a great feeling of loss and grief in him, and even something else that prevented her from hating him. Bella recalled his words -you are the only thing that is keeping me sane-. What did he mean by that? She sighed knowing that he would, without a doubt, be back eventually, then at least maybe she could ask him. Slowly she stood up and entered her house, praying that the war would end soon.
In her bed, her last coherent thought was of Jared's intense black eyes fixed on hers.