AN: thanks for the reviews, and un abbraccio (hugs) to my beta Georgia Dawgette.
4.
Bella woke up screaming. She opened her eyes, and looked around the room; it had only been a nightmare. Jared wasn't anywhere around her. For a moment she was still, and then she started laughing. She had a Vampire and an army of newborns after her, she was in love with a vampire and a werewolf, and she was scared of Jared. Suddenly, her laughter turned to sobs, and she continued to sob until she felt stone-cold arms wrap themselves around her. "Love, it's okay. It was just a nightmare, I'm here."
She curled herself into Edward's arms, and cried. She couldn't tell him what had scared her, and the guilt from that was beginning to gnaw at her.
Edward was caressing her hair. "Love, talk to me."
Bella shook her head, tears still streaming down her face.
He just held her even more tightly. "Okay, then shall I talk?" At her nod he went on. "Yesterday you piqued my curiosity, and when I was training with the wolves I tried to read Jared's mind."
Bella tensed and looked up. "Did you...?" she managed to ask.
He shook his head. "No, I couldn't. It seems the loss of his girl has clouded his mind. I only got a fraction of his thoughts as usual. He did think about your smell though, he likes it. But just as soon as I was able to catch a thought, he would switch to something else. His mind is actually quite complex."
She sighed in relief, thankful that nobody knew what happened between them. "Leave him be, Edward. Jake told me that Jared is very upset." she wanted to steer him away from Jared's thoughts, she couldn't risk him accidentally seeing them kissing. "Just focus your mind on Victoria and the fight."
Edward nodded. "I'll try love. Actually, today I have to give you away." He said somberly.
Bella felt dread and asked. "Why? What do you mean?"
Edward grimaced. "Well, Emily asked Sam, who told Jacob to ask me, if you could come visit her today. She misses her kitchen partner in crime, and you know that Sam spoils her rotten. They remind me of us..." His crooked grin warmed her heart slightly, and she smiled.
"A day with Emily? That sounds nice." She was beginning to feel a bit better, the two of them got along well, and it would be nice to have some human-girl time.
"Probably your Jared will be lurking around, but essentially it will just be the two of you." Edward said.
Bella froze; Jared was going to be there? She shivered, and Edward moved away from her. "Sorry love, I don't want to freeze you to death." She nodded, if only he knew that it wasn't his cold body that made her shiver. Fear, and strangely curiosity were coursing through her veins. How would Jared behave with Emily around?
Later that day, Edward drove her to the treaty line, and there Sam picked her up.
When Bella arrived at Sam and Emily's house, she was a mess of nerves. Sam smiled warmly at her, and said, "I need to patrol now, just go on in, Emily is waiting for you."
She smiled back at him, and entered their house. She saw Emily cooking in the kitchen, and humming while she worked, while Jared was sprawled on the sofa. When her eyes met his they locked, both seeming completely transfixed by the other.
Bella took the time to notice his toned naked chest, and his muscular build; and it gave her yet another round of shivers. And once again it definitely wasn't because she was cold. What on earth had possessed her? Why was she lusting over him?
Emily's squeal brought her back from whatever spell she had fallen under. "Bella! I'm so happy to see you! Are you ready to help me cook lunch for the pack? I have got tons of potatoes to peel, plus we have a salad to prepare, and I'm marinating the meat. I hope we'll have enough for everyone!"
After where her thoughts had been dwelling, Bella felt as though the ability to speak coherently had escaped her, so she just nodded. Jared's black eyes never wavered from her for a moment. She gulped, put on a semblance of a smile, and started helping Emily in the kitchen. She could still feel his gaze on her, even when her back was turned.
She tried to distract herself by thinking about Emily. She was her usual pretty self, the scars on her face didn't mar at all her simple beauty. The kindness shining in her eyes showed the sweet and caring nature of the wolf-girl. Her role was really difficult, looking after a pack of teenagers wolves, but she handled it with strength and they all loved her dearly.
Thankfully, an entire hour of tension passed by without one accident, as they went on preparing all the vegetables and the meat for the pack. Suddenly, Emily said, "I've just used the last of the salt! Bella can you look after the food while I run quickly to the store?"
Bella's heart missed a bit; she would be alone with Jared. No way! "Errr... Emily I can go to the store."
Emily laughed. "Nonsense, I'll go. Jared will keep you safe, won't you Jared?"
Jared nodded, his intense eyes still on her.
Emily took her purse and quickly left through the front door.
Bella turned her back to Jared, and went on cooking. Maybe if she ignored him, he would let her be. She heard the door close, and she didn't even have the time to take a breath before she was surrounded by warm arms, her back was pressed against Jared's burning chest.
His warm breath tickled behind her ear. "Again you didn't tell anyone about our encounter, why Isabella?"
She felt a shiver run down her back. Was it fear? Anticipation? "Jared why are you doing this?"
Bella felt him stiffen, and then quickly he relaxed again. "This what? Touch you? Kiss you? Taunt you?"
"All of them." She managed to whisper.
He nibbled at her ear and she tried to resist him, but after only a moment she moaned. Then she blushed and tried to wriggle her way out of his warm embrace. "You are making the situation so much worse on yourself, Isabella." Jared turned her forcefully, and kissed her roughly. Bella responded with equal ferocity, she hated how he made her feel, but at the same time, she was guided by some unknown force. It was amazing how she already knew his mouth so well, and was becoming addicted to his slightly salty taste.
Bella lost all sense of time and place, their breaths and their touching each other were the only things that grounded her to the world. Suddenly, with a swoosh, Jared was back to the sofa, as Emily came back in.
Bella quickly turned back towards the counter, and tried to get a grip on her wild mind and body. She passed a hand through her hair, trying to tame it. She bit her lip, and tasted him there; she almost groaned again.
Emily smiled at her. "I see you managed quite well without me." Bella smiled back and nodded, she didn't think she could speak.
After another hour, the pack started to trickle in. Jake was the last one through the door and she felt her heart rate increase. She threw herself into his arms, she definitely needed some reassurance. "Jake! It's so nice to see you."
Jake laughed, and squeezed her tightly. "Geesh Bells, if I knew that a day without me would have this effect, I would have done it earlier."
Everyone laughed, and Bella relaxed slightly. "After you eat, can we go for a walk?"
Jake smiled at her. "Sure, sure, but only if you can keep your hands off me."
The wolves howled in laughter again. She felt like she couldn't join in their happy moment, she could still feel Jared's hands on her body. She burrowed further into Jake. He cleared his throat. "Bells, are you going to let me go anytime soon or do I have to plan on eating with you wrapped around me?"
Bella blushed. "Ahhhh, sorry yeah I'll just let you ... eat." She stepped back, and then she took his arm.
Jake eyed her strangely. "Is everything ok Bells?" She nodded, hoping that he would believe her. He studied her face a moment longer and then nodded back. "Okay food and then you. Just for now in that order."
Bella smiled softly. "Do I really get to be first on the list sometimes?"
Jake smiled softly back. "Only when my stomach is full." She slapped him jokingly, and he faked a wince. "Oww... that hurt!"
Bella never once looked at Jared throughout the meal, fearing that if she did, she would give everything away. She needed to get her Jake alone, and resettle herself. She was in love with Edward and Jake. She didn't need a third party, especially someone who was a dangerous mix of both of them; that would only cause more trouble.
When Jake's stomach was replenished, he took her hand and said, "Let's go for a walk." She smiled warmly at him, and they exited the house.
Jake took her to the beach, and when they arrived there he asked, "So what's up Bells? And don't tell me that nothing is bothering you, because let me tell you, you are an awful liar."
Bella turned away from him. "I'm just tense and upset at this situation. I feel like I don't have control of anything." That was definitely part of the problem, so no lie there.
"Can you tell me why Jared's scent is all over you?" Jake growled.
She stiffened. Dammit! "I kind of fell at Emily's house before. He had to dive, and saved me at the last moment. But we kind of got tangled up a bit." She crossed her fingers, hoping he would believe the lie.
He came and held her close. Chuckling he said, "Leave it to you to be that clumsy. It's just a shame that I won't be able to see it in Jared's mind. That guy is really good at keeping the best memories for himself."
Bella shivered, she really hoped that Jared managed to never slip when it came to that particular memory.
Jake kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry Bells, soon we will get Victoria, and then you'll be free. And you can decide... I just hope that you'll stay human... with me."
Bella sighed. "We will see Jake. Let's try to survive this war first."
He let her go, and then took her hand. "Let's get back, I have patrol now."
She smiled, feeling slightly better.
By the time they got back only Sam, Emily and Jared were still there.
Bella didn't dare to look at Jared. Jake gave her a brief hug. "I gotta go. Love you Bells."
For once she didn't hesitate. "I love you too Jake."
He stopped, and turned to look at her intensely. "Do you really?"
She nodded. He smiled at her with his usual Jacob smile, jumping and laughing. "Love you, love you, love you." Jake shouted while running into the forest.
Bella turned to look at the three people remaining, Sam and Emily had content smiles on their faces, and Jared was avoiding her eyes.
Sam spoke then, "Bella, I have to take Emily to a doctor's appointment. It's her usual monthly check-up. Will it be alright if Jared escorts you to the border?"
Bella couldn't believe her bad luck! "Sure, just go." She couldn't just ask Emily to skip her regular appointment, the scars needed to be checked by a doctor, and maybe they would find a way to remove them eventually.
When Emily and Sam left, Bella and Jared looked at each other.
Jared took a deep breath and walked towards her, she tried to take a few steps back but he caught up, and swept her up into his arms. "I don't bother with cars; I'll run you to the border, Isabella."
Bella shivered, she hated her full name, but when he pronounced it, something about it made her shiver. It felt almost sexy.
Jared held her tightly. "Do you like to be carried by me, Isabella?" he whispered in her ear.
She gulped, and closed her eyes. After a moment her arms circled him and she put her face in the crook of his neck. Her mouth was barely touching his skin, and she could feel the salty taste that she had already begun to memorize.
He stopped before they would be in Edward's hearing range. "Look at me, Isabella."
Bella tried not to, but his call was too powerful for her to resist. She looked up, and he crushed his mouth on hers.
Confusion, desire and guilt were fighting in her mind.
Jared pulled away first. "We have to go." He swiftly arrived at the border, and there, Edward was waiting for her. Jared put her down, and for a moment Bella swayed. She wasn't sure about the reason for her unsteadiness. Jared chuckled. "I guess you weren't made for running."
Bella blushed, and then walked slowly over to where Edward was standing. Her vampire love smiled crookedly at her, and opened his arms. "Hello love, you can't imagine how much I missed you." And when she was enclosed in his embrace, she took a deep breath.
She was shocked to realize that it just felt wrong. She shook her head; she had been wanting musky, hearty, spicy and warmth. What was Jared doing to her? In 48 hours he had managed to turn her world upside down. Bella sighed and said, "I missed you too."
It tasted like a lie in her mouth, and she was thankful once more that Edward couldn't read her mind.
For a moment, she wished she couldn't read it either.