AN: thanks for the reviews and your patience, as you can see I haven't abandoned this fiction, summer time is a bit slower in updating but I promise you that you'll see the end of this story.
More than thanks to my beta and co-author Georgia Dawgette, this story wouldn't be so amazing if it weren't for her.
13.
It was only after they arrived at Jared's apartment that he finally put her down. He reached up above the door and took down a key that was hidden on the doorframe. Opening the door, he gestured for her to enter.
Bella looked around his apartment, interested to see how Jared lived.
The front door opened into a combined kitchen/living room area, and then there were three closed doors from the main area.
"The door on the left is a closet; the other two doors lead to the bedroom and to the bathroom," Jared said all this while gesturing to the respective doors.
The place looked nice and clean, and she wondered if he was looking after it himself or that had been Kim's job. Though, the thought of that made her feel sick; rationally she knew that before her Kim had been his one and only, but it still bothered her.
Bella looked around and she noticed that there weren't pictures anywhere, had he taken then away after Kim's disappearance or he didn't have any? She thought that after all it looked a nice place but not very lived in. "You don't spend much time here, do you?"
Jared shrugged his shoulders. "With patrols and having headquarters at Sam's, I just basically keep my stuff here. "
Bella nodded, and she slowly made her way over to the sofa. She sat, and as she did she realized that it was actually really comfortable. She knew she had to say something before the silence went on further. "Your place is nice," she said softly, glancing up at him.
He was still standing near the door watching her intensely. "Don't you want to see the bedroom?" he asked suggestively.
Bella felt a shot of apprehension course through her. "I... Jared ... maybe we need to talk." She knew that at her house when he had bitten her, if she hadn't fainted he would have taken them much further. But did Jared assume that because she had dated Edward, she was more experienced than she really was? How could she tell him that she hadn't done much with Edward?
Jared was near her in a second, moving quicker than her slow human vision could process. "About what?" he asked as he started to kiss her neck. For a moment, Bella entirely forgot what she wanted to discuss with Jared, as his warm lips drove her further to incoherency. His hands had started to caress her waist, occasionally dipping below the hem of her shirt, and connecting with her bare skin.
She had a fleeting thought that once again they were moving too fast, and it took every ounce of her control to hold on to that line of thinking.
"I'm a virgin!" she blurted out, before she completely lost her will to his attack.
Jared froze with his mouth on her neck and his hands now completely underneath the hem of her shirt. Looking startled, he pulled away, concern all over his handsome face. "I didn't... know," he seemed ashamed. "So... exactly how far did you go with Cullen?"
Bella blushed, and looked down feeling absolutely mortified by having to discuss her relationship history with Edward. She had no experience, and she knew that Jared was clearly more advanced in that department than she could ever hope to be. Would he be disappointed that she had so little experience in this area? Oh well, they had to have this discussion eventually, might as well get it over with now. "We kissed."
Jared took her chin in his warm hand, and pulled it up. "Bella…," she raised her eyes slowly to meet his. "And?"
"Nothing else," she said timidly forcing herself not to break eye contact with him. "The farthest I've ever gone was with ... you."
Jared let her go; stood up running his fingers thought his hair and walked across the room.
She had overheard girls at school talking about how guys liked a girl with experience, but she didn't really think it was worth him getting this upset. She really had so much to learn about normal guys, well as normal as teenage werewolf could be. It was already clear that the difference between Jared and Edward couldn't be greater.
"Jared I'm sorry that I said it like that, I didn't mean to upset you," she said awkwardly, not really knowing where to go from here.
"Upset me?" he passed a hand through his hair again. "I'm not upset with you, Isabella. I'm upset with myself. I must be the most fucked up man you ever met!" he said angrily and started to shake.
Bella stood up quickly and walked over to where he was standing. She didn't even think before laying her head on his chest and running her hands in soothing circles up and down his back. "Jared, calm down, what are you talking about?"
His trembling slowed when she touched him, and he let out a breath before responding. "Yesterday I almost took you on your bed. I assumed that you had... I must have terrified you. I'm a monster."
"No, you are not a monster! Besides, you said that it was partly your wolf wanting to claim me. I'm not scared Jared," she said firmly.
He raised an eyebrow skeptically at her clearly questioning her honesty.
She looked away from his eyes for a moment, and then finally conceded. "Alright, I'll admit that you did scare me a bit at the beginning, but that's over now. We were both unsettled those first few days." whispered Bella.
Jared sighed, and his arms came up around her holding her close. "I still owe you an apology. I tend to be very physical, and I would have never guessed that you hadn't... We'll take it easy from now on. There is no hurry."
Bella chuckled. "Jared... I don't want you to take it easy. Well, maybe just a little, but I've experienced enough chivalry to last a lifetime. I do want this, I want it with you. I just thought that you should know how inexperienced I am before we go much farther."
Jared looked at her intently before responding, and she couldn't quite read his expression, "I still think we should hold off for a little while, and get to know each other a little better before we take our relationship to the next level."
Bella was starting to get frustrated with him. Edward had always made these decisions for her and she wasn't going to let Jared do that as well. "I think we passed the getting to know each other stage a while ago Jared! I want this; you want this, what's the matter?"
Jared looked at her for a moment, and then he swept her into his arms and walked quickly into the bedroom. "You're right, why wait?"
He opened the door, and let her fall on his bed. He was unfastening his jeans when Bella shouted. "Wait! I mean... "She blushed."Can we..."
Jared smiled then. "See? You think you are ready, but the thought of following through on that scared you, right? "
Bella gaped at him, just trying to wrap her mind around what just happened. So, he didn't really have any intention of sleeping with her now. "So you did that just to provoke me…"
He nodded and sat on the bed. She scooted closer to him, cuddling into his side. "Isabella, don't get me wrong. I want you and your body to be mine. I know that you'll be mine eventually, but I really want you to enjoy it as much as I will. I'm not saying we'll wait years or months, but a little bit longer won't really make a difference."
She pouted, and he laughed. "Now, now... don't look at me that way. There are things we could do without actually sleeping together. If you want that is..."
Bella nodded timidly. Edward had never even considered taking it further than very chaste kisses, he had proposed to her while all she wanted was something that was natural between two people that loved each other.
It was amazing to realize that she desired Jared even more than she did Edward, the intensity and the pull to him and his body were sometimes unbearable. She could only guess how much more than her Jared needed the contact, so she felt confident that they would be together very soon. A little idea started to form in her mind, she could tempt him and push him until he caved, with Edward she knew that she couldn't win… but with Jared she knew that she had a chance…
Jared had said a bit longer, but not too much, and he did have a point, she needed to know him better before making that step.
As she considered that he had definitely compromised with her on this subject instead of just dictating to her, she thought that in spite of everything she could be very happy with him.
He was dangerous when required, but he turned into an attentive and caring man when needed. For the first time she was seeing why the imprint had pulled them together, granted, they were able to push each other buttons, but they were both driven by a deep yearning for each other, and they were both strong willed.
She could now see that being with Jared had, more than anything, forced her to be stronger and braver, and to be a more honest version of herself. Also, she had never desired either Edward or Jacob as much as she wanted Jared, it was all consuming. They were just so right together.
A perfect fit.
Something fluttered in her stomach, and then as quick as it came it disappeared.
"Isabella? Are you ok?" asked Jared.
She looked up at him, and for the first time really saw him. His beauty, his strength, and his raw power ... "I think I imprinted." she said smiling.
"What are you talking about?" Jared asked.
"I... hmmm ... until now I didn't understand why the imprinting had put us together. Just now I had a revelation of sorts... I think that I accepted it, and I feel better... freer... I don't know how to say it better than that," said Bella.
Jared stood up, and started pacing. "I'm sorry, I... I can't say the same thing back, yet." he said regretfully.
Bella felt a shot of sadness, but she understood. More than he knew. "I ... understand Jared. You still need to come to terms with losing Kim's. She was your world and her... death must have devastated you. Imprinting caught you before you were able to even grieve properly for your lost mate. I promise that I don't expect you to feel that way about me, while this definitely wasn't easy on me, your path in this whole thing was definitely harder. So, we'll wait, and just see how things go. But I wanted you to know that I finally get why all this happened, and I'm not upset anymore. " She reached up to caress his cheek and he leaned into her touch.
Jared looked at her regretfully. "We are so fucked up!"
She laughed. "I would have to agree with you. Now, have you got something to eat in your house? I'm starving."
Jared took her hand, and led her back out into the living room. "I'm afraid we'll have to order some take out. I wasn't expecting a guest."
"It's okay. What about some Chinese food? Spring rolls… hmmm..." purred Bella, thinking about her favorite food. She really liked eating different cuisines, and Chinese was one her weaknesses.
Jared was on her in a second, kissing her forcefully, but she was used to him by now and she responded with the same intensity. She would have to remember that purring had this effect on him.
He pulled away first. "You are really tempting me... I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold off if you keep this up. " He kissed her on the nose before capturing her lips once again.
Bella felt warmth spread through her body and when he finally pulled away she knew that he had noticed, but before she could say anything there was a knock at the door. "Jared, IsaBells, are you fully clothed? Can I come in?"
"Yeah, come on in," said Jared rolling his eyes, and when Jake entered he growled. "I don't remember inviting you over. "
Jake glanced at Bella, and then looked at Jared. "I just thought that a tour of your apartment wouldn't require longer than this." His tone was tense, and though it was frustrating that Jacob had interrupted them, Bella couldn't deny that it was sweet that he came with those flimsy excuses just to check up on her.
Jared sighed. "Jake... I..." he seemed at a loss for words. "I'm sorry bro. I really am."
"Jake? We were about ordering some Chinese food; do you want to join us?" Bella suggested this, hoping to ease the tension between them.
Jake's expression was unreadable. "I don't know..."
She knew that Jake needed to get used to seeing her with Jared, she looked at her mate ... how strange it was to think of him that way... and he nodded at her. It seemed that they were on the same page. "Come on Jake. When have you ever refused food? I'll pay this time, but try not to get me broke."
Jake gave a tentative smile and the afternoon passed quickly with the three of them eating and telling funny stories of when they were younger.
After a while, Jake stood up and smiled at them. "Thanks guys for the company, but I have patrol until the bonfire. So, I gotta go."
Bella thought that he seemed a bit more at ease as the day progressed, and that gave her some peace of mind. "Okay Jake, we are going back to Emily soon, I want to help her a bit with the cooking." She put a hand on Jake's arm, and then getting on her tiptoes she kissed his cheek. "Be safe, I'll see you tonight. "
Jake seemed to struggle with words for a moment. Then he just nodded, and left.
Jared came up behind her and enveloped her in his arms putting his head on hers. "It's hard to see him in pain. "
Bella closed her eyes and tried not to think about it, but Jared's words cut deep in her heart. "I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better."
Jared held her more tightly. "Bella, you have been kind, understanding and compassionate, don't forget that you gave Leah, Sam and Emily some closure today, and you are going to love Jake anyway, no matter what. I think you can't do more than this."
She was surprised that he had called Bella, but she didn't draw attention to that because she didn't know if he had done with intent, if he was warming up to her or if it had been a fluke. Though, it was strange to hear Jared being so soft and affectionate with her, she had been so used to his roughness that it was almost like she was with another man altogether. "Jared... did our conversation before make a difference to you?"
Instantly he stiffened, and let her go. Damn her big mouth! He passed a hand though his hair. "Isabella, I ... we probably should get going, you wanted to help Emily before the bonfire." He didn't say anything else on the way back to Sam and Emily's house.
Bella knew that he was still struggling with the loss of Kim and his new feelings for her, but it was just so difficult with Jared to know where she stood.
He left her on the doorstep; saying that he wanted to check a few things with Sam and the pack. Bella took a deep breath while watching him enter the forest.
Would she ever understand him? Could he ever care for her in the same way he cared for Kim? There would be no answers to her questions just now, so she walked into the house.
AN2: next chapter Bella and Emily have an interesting chat before the bonfire...