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The Exam

Bella POV

My eyes quickly darted around the room, horrified by the sounds coming from my vampire. My pupils were slowly adjusting to the light coming in, and I finally began to see the scene unfolding before me; part of me wished I couldn't. For a short-lived moment, I wondered if I was dreaming. My hope was squashed as a new round of growling commenced; I hadn't heard this particular growl yet and it was very nearly made me afraid of him. I looked sideways at the vampire and his hands were clenched into tight fists around his trembling knees.

I could feel the terror creeping into my body as the figures approaching me slowly came into focus. Carlisle and Jasper? My brain still wasn't fully functional but I was pretty sure they weren't planning on stopping.

"Bella," Carlisle said over the growls. "You need to go upstairs for a bit."

My eyes grew wide and jaw tensed. "I don't need to go upstairs. Don't come any closer, you're scaring him." My anger quickly dissipated and was followed by calm. The vampire's growls eased.

"Stop it, Jasper. Please just go," I looked directly at Jasper, who stood unmoving next to Carlisle, still several yards away from us. In the back of my mind I knew whatever they had planned was probably in everyone's best interest, but the need to protect him overpowered those thoughts. In the moment, I couldn't imagine how anything good would come of this encounter.

"We're not going to hurt him, Bella. You know that," Carlisle spoke softly at me, searching my eyes for resignation. He'd have to do better than that to get me to leave the vampire's side. "Bella, please. I just want to look at him."

"You can look at him while I'm here," I attempted to sneer, but the words came out softly. Damn you, Jasper. I needed my anger on my side right now; the impending battle would be hard enough to win if I were strong and awake. Calm and tired would never suffice.

"No, Bella," Jasper took a small step forward. I could see the vampire tense up and shift slightly. "You can't be down here. You need to understand that he's not strong enough to hurt us. If you were to get in the way he could no doubt kill you, even if it was only an accident."

My gaze darted between the two of them. They couldn't be serious. My life had been in a constant state of risk for the last several hours. It was quite obvious that I had ceased to care where this matter was concerned.

I ceased to care about my life? Maybe the calm was helping me, afterall.

"We're not going to hurt him, Bella," my eyebrows knit together. Couldn't they see that just their being here was hurting him? "I just want to make sure he's alright; have you gotten a look at any of his injuries?" My eyebrows pulled together further in frustration. Carlisle took my expression as a confirmation and nodded knowingly. "I thought you might have. He's covered in them, Bella. And he isn't healing, and I have no idea why that is. I just want to get a better understanding of how severe it is. It's not my aim to cause him any more discomfort than necessary."

Of course it wasn't his aim. I never doubted Carlisle's sincerity or his honorable intentions, in fact, somewhere inside of me I knew that this confrontation was inevitable.

I simply couldn't let go of the fact that this man was absolutely defenseless and had no control whatsoever over what was done to his body. He needed someone to fight for him, and I was the only person in the position to do so. Naturally, however, the two of us we were the weakest creatures in a few mile radius. But I couldn't simply ignore the fact that he didn't want Carlisle near him. He was afraid and I was the only person who would bother standing up for him, and I wasn't going to take that job lightly.

"I can't let you do this, Carlisle. Give him the night," my voice turned begging. What was I even asking for? The benefits of getting it out of the way early were undeniable, but I still couldn't shake my uneasiness. Maybe it would be better for him to get this exam out of the way so that he could possibly start to heal? Obviously sitting in the basement wasn't helping him at all.

As if reading my mind, Carlisle answered, "Bella, it won't do any good. The sooner we get this done the better. Besides, it's past midnight and you need to get some rest. You have school still and we can't have your father show up with the entire squad to retrieve you."

"Please don't make me leave him," I could feel the tears surfacing and fought them back. I knew on some level that letting myself cry might appeal to Carlisle's sympathetic side and thus giving me the upper hand, but manipulation wasn't what I was going for. It didn't matter, within seconds a new wave of calm and resignation covered me and the vampire, putting both of us briefly at ease and keeping my tears at bay.

"Stop it, Jasper," I said again.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Carlisle is right. And we really, really don't want you getting harmed for nothing. It'd be a shame for him to kill you on accident after he's expended so much energy keeping you alive," he smiled sadly.

I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but his nonchalance was the tipping point of my emotional hurricane. The tears sprung to my eyes immediately and I began openly sobbing. I wasn't trying to be whiney, as I knew I was coming off, but the hopelessness of the whole thing was taking its toll.

I recognized that I had a limited amount of options: obviously I couldn't stay in the basement for the rest of my life, it wouldn't work. And, no matter what, the instant I left his side things would inevitably change.

Jasper, feeling my defeat, smiled knowingly at me. "It needs to be done, Bella. You've done so much for him already, do this for him. The only way he'll ever get better is if we can get near him."

"Are you going to feed him, too?"

"I'll stop at the hospital first thing tomorrow to get blood," Carlisle smiled.

"Why don't you hunt for him tonight and..."

Carlisle shook his head. "I considered that. I'm not sure if a dead animal will appeal to his senses, which he seems to be relying heavily upon at the moment. But it's probably worth a shot. I suppose it couldn't hurt..." He smiled at me. Placating me. Perfect.

Alice appeared on the staircase and reached her hand out to me. "C'mon, Bella. You look like hell, and that really can't be comfortable," she smiled.

It wasn't comfortable at all, in fact. I hadn't really noticed prior to it being mentioned, but now that I thought about it, my neck hurt and shoulders were killing me.

I turned my body so I was facing the overly serene vampire next to me. I put my hand on his wrist and rubbed it gently, raising my other hand to his face. If I was being honest, the calm that Jasper was putting on him was nice. To be able to touch him without the perfunctory growl made my lips twitch into a small smile. When my fingers made contact with his forehead he flinched, but he remained silent.

He opened his eyes to me, turning his head so that I could see his face better.

I tried to make my smile as warm as possible. I think that my concern was written plainly on my features, but he continued to gaze at me, displaying no emotion at all, while I gently brushed the hair from his forehead. His eyes closed after a second and he took a deep breath. He growled softly then, maybe at the smell of the other people in the room, maybe at something else… but I think he knew.

With a gentle squeeze on his hand, I stood. I turned silently and he began to growl as I walked toward Alice. The tears were flowing again but I didn't turn around. I had to get out before I did something stupid. I'll come right back after they're done, I promised myself.

By the time I reached Alice on the staircase I was a hopeless wreck. I could barely hear the growling over my own sobbing and I practically fell into her grasp.

"You need a break from this, Bella," she whispered to me. It was the truth, I couldn't even deny it. I didn't want a break from this, but I knew that both my mind and body needed to step back for a minute.

"I don't want to leave him alone down here," I answered softly, the last bout of tears drying up.

"He won't be alone, Carlisle and --," she stopped, understanding hitting her. "He'll be safe. They won't let anything bad happen to him. Come on, let's go upstairs for a bit."

I took her hand and followed solemnly up the steps. Alice closed it behind us and began dragging me into the living room.

"No," I pulled back, leaning against the door.

"Bella, come on. It's not going to help anything if you make yourself sick or something. Come to the living room with me, we can order a pizza?"

"I'm not hungry." I closed my eyes, my weight falling to the floor. I leaned my back against the wall adjacent to the basement door. "What time is it?" I wondered aloud.

"Almost one. Carlisle insists that you go to class tomorrow but we're trying to convince him that you won't have the energy. He's just concerned."

I shook my head. I hadn't even considered school. Honestly, in my plans to spend the next eighty years in the basement, nothing of the outside world had played any role. Sigh.

Alice came up next to me and slid her body down the door so that she was sitting with me. She pulled me up to her and I leaned my head on her shoulder. I wondered how long they would be down there.

My thought process was interrupted by an onslaught of growling coming from the basement. I felt the bile rise in my throat and fled to the bathroom, praying that the distance would save me from knowing his pain. It didn't.

***

Jasper POV

Truly, I was a fucking train wreck. It hadn't subsided since the afternoon when we found him and I was coming to a point that I couldn't take it anymore. While it was a livable discomfort in the beginning, now every time he cringed, I found myself cringing.

My position had truly helped Bella with her case thus far. Although we tried to stay as far away from the basement as possible, the distance couldn't overcome the intensity of his emotions. That evening, when we had decided to take a walk, I was just on the brink of insanity.

Alice and Carlisle had gotten a head start back to the house to try to prevent the events that she had seen unfolding, but I had stayed back with Esme, grasping onto the brief time I had left before reengaging.

When I got back to the house, however, it wasn't the vampire's emotions that had pummeled me. I was assaulted, first and foremost, with worry. I received a massive heap of it in the form of Alice, smashing her anguished frame against mine. As I entered the living room, Carlisle's became apparent too. In the background somewhere was the fear, but it was nowhere near as intense as it had been before I left the house.

For that, despite Bella's predicament, I had been grateful. It wasn't as if I could feel his physical pain; that wasn't my area of expertise. It was more that I could feel his absolute terror every single fucking time he was startled. And having Bella down there seemed to have calming effects of its own, so I couldn't completely regret her decisions. I even tried to convince the others that maybe it wasn't so bad after all. They disagreed.

But now, as I hesitantly stepped toward him, his fear had returned tenfold. Carlisle stood back, hoping that if we kept the numbers even the vampire wouldn't be inclined to attack. It was worse now than at any point during the day. Even when we had initially confronted him in the woods his disposition was moderately more composed than this. I took a shaky breath, trying to calm both of us.

I could feel my own hands trembling with fear and I wished more than anything that he would relax some. It was a vicious catch 22 that I found myself in; I had to step closer to calm him down, every time I stepped closer he grew more fearful, every time he grew more fearful I grew more fearful, and when I was this afraid, it was harder to exert a calm.

I let out the breath I was holding and stopped. I needed to get a grip on myself. I closed my eyes and focused on remaining tranquil. There is nothing to be afraid of. He can't hurt me. I have the upper hand. There is nothing to be afraid of. Why was I so afraid? I knew why.

I turned back toward Carlisle while contemplating my move. Slow or fast, slow or fast.

I could close the gap between us in a millisecond, get a strong grip on him and hopefully the close contact would make it easier to calm him down. But on the same token, my fear made it almost impossible to do so.

I turned back to my target and decided to make quick work. I visualized my plan of attack and he, in some sort of anticipation of my imminent approach, began growling more fiercely than I had heard from him yet. I knew if I waited too long I'd lose my window and be overcome by all the shit that was radiating off of him, so I launched myself forward.

I didn't use much force because, frankly, I doubted he was strong enough to move at this point, but I spun him quickly so I was crouching behind him, his back to my chest, my arms locked around him. Carlisle gestured toward the empty table that lined the opposite wall, so I lifted us both slowly off the ground and made quick work of the room, utilizing the little calm that we both had left.

The contact of our bodies allowed me to relax him further than I otherwise would have been capable of, but it wasn't enough. He still growled and thrashed weakly against my grip and I still cringed internally with my new fit of panic.

I quickly discovered that it wasn't difficult to manage him. He was far weaker than we had anticipated. In retrospect, I was probably the worst person for this job, as I, without a doubt, had a harder time handling him than anyone else would have.

I laid him face-down on the table and Carlisle approached us rapidly, medical bag in tow. I shook my head sadly as I felt the vampire's defeat laced with hopelessness. It was agonizing.

Carlisle came up next to me and placed a tentative hand on the shaking form in front of us, whispering "we're not going to hurt you," over and over.

I could tell it was having no effect, save for the burst of anxiety at his touch, but I didn't tell him that. Let him think he's helping…

The fear was coming off of the vampire in waves as Carlisle inspected the wounds covering his back. He wasn't struggling, I wasn't sure if he had any struggle left in him. He just lay lifelessly on the table; the only outward sign of his anguish were the tremors flowing through him.

Only once did he try to lift himself from the table; his arms had quickly given out under his weight, though, and he instantly fell back down.

After Carlisle was satisfied with examining the vampire's back, we turned him so his chest was exposed. While it caused a multitude of pain and horror to stem from the man, he still made no move to escape.

His chest was significantly more damaged than his back had been. His torso was covered in gaping wounds. They were bloodless, of course, but still deep gashes ran the length of his ribs. One particularly gruesome wound followed his sternum. There were several smaller wounds covering his abdomen, arms and legs, similar to those on his back.

When Carlisle applied pressure to his ribcage his back arched up and a pained whimper emanated from his throat. My knees gave out and I collapsed, catching myself on the table.

"You need to stop, or I need to leave… it's too much."

Carlisle looked sadly at me. "You're right. I won't touch him again, just stay with me for a few minutes. Do you smell that?"

I shook my head, trying to clear my deranged mental state. I inhaled deeply, purposively. "What exactly am I looking for?" I needed a hint; I was in no mood to try to interpret vague riddles.

"There's something not right about his scent," Carlisle continued. "I picked it up a little in the woods, but couldn't make much of it. I was thinking about analyzing his venom against mine at the hospital? Maybe something will turn up. Either he's not healing from the lack of nourishment or there's something else in his system keeping him down. I just need to figure out what…"

I nodded. As little sense as it made, it was as good as anything else we had going for us. None of us had any idea why he wasn't healing so I anticipated some straw-grasping would take place until we figured it out.

Carlisle put his hand nonchalantly on the vampire's forehead. The three of us winced in succession and Carlisle withdrew, opting to go for his wrist instead. "This is interesting, as well…" He began, mostly to himself.

He tapped the little band surrounding the vampire's frail wrist before slipping a finger underneath it and breaking it at its seam. He stretched it out in front of him to get a look, his eyebrows knitting together in uncertainty. He bent down to put the strip in his bag and retrieved a needle-less syringe.

At the sight of this, the vampire abruptly began growling viciously and thrashing under my hold. I felt panic surge through my body and heard myself growling in tandem with him. I turned all my focus to calming him down enough that I could resist the urge to flee from the basement altogether. I was afraid for him. I knew Carlisle was just getting a venom sample and that it wouldn't hurt him in the least, but I couldn't not fear that inoffensive little syringe. Bella would be proud.

"Hang on, almost done," Carlisle whispered, but was interrupted by the basement door bursting open and a figure flying down the staircase.

***

Bella POV

I couldn't take it anymore. They were hurting him. I could hear his tortured noises from my position next to the door. I unceremoniously launched myself toward the noise and the next thing I knew I was, quite literally, flying down the stairs. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact but my fall was broken by Alice, who managed to beat me to the bottom of the staircase.

I brushed myself off and my eyes darted to the corner. Empty. I glanced around the room and found Carlisle openly gaping at me while Jasper held down my thrashing vampire. I screamed for Alice to let me go but she refused.

"Come on, Bella. Carlisle is almost finished up here. It's really late, Bella. You need to get to sleep.."

My eyes filled with tears at the scene in front of me and I found myself fighting against Alice, who was trying desperately to keep me safe despite my best efforts. I knew it probably wasn't the most intelligent idea, but I needed to go to him. I needed him to know that I was doing what I could to protect him, even if it wasn't enough.

"Bella, we're not hurting him. I'm just going to take some of his venom so I can try to fig—"

A loud sob broke through my chest and Carlisle abruptly quieted. With one last thrash I was released from Alice's grip and darted to the table where he laid. His movements grew more panicked with my approach and Jasper closed his eyes, visibly tensing as a result of all the new emotions surrounding him.

My vampire's fists were clenched but I covered one of them with my hands. My vision was blurred by a fresh round of tears while I ran one hand up to his face and brushed his hair away. His thrashing eased a little and his gaze fell directly on mine. He was trying to communicate something to me but I had no idea what.

"You need to move your hands from his face, Bella," Carlisle whispered. I looked at him, curiosity evident in my eyes. "I'm going to get some venom from him.. It won't hurt him, but he's pretty worked up," he paused briefly. "Bella, I'm not arguing his intentions, and I certainly realize that he doesn't deserve this, but it's irrelevant. I don't want you getting hurt."

I moved my fingers from his forehead and squeezed his fisted hand gently.

Carlisle brought the syringe up to his lips and gently coaxed his mouth open. I'm not sure what exactly this triggered in the vampire, but panic wasn't a strong enough word anymore. His whole body began violently thrashing again, the growls erupting from deep within his chest, his fingers and arms tense as he flailed uselessly against Jasper and Carlisle's grips.

I instinctually backed away from his hand, knowing the trouble I could get my arm into. I moved my efforts to focus on his forearm, where he couldn't unleash his full fury. I was crying again, but it was nothing compared to what he was going through.

"Shh, calm down... calm down, please..." I sobbed. "Please, please, please, calm down. We don't want to hurt you, shh... " It was all futile. He was too far gone to even hear my voice, let alone my words. But I had to at least try.

Carlisle tried to remain stoic through the outburst, but he was clearly shaken. He placed his hand on the vampire's forehead, an attempt to steady him, and forced the syringe into his mouth, getting his venom sample and withdrawing as quickly as possible.

"You've done him a great service tonight, Bella. I honestly don't know where we'd be right now if you didn't go to him, although I imagine he'd still be in that corner. And I know that you may not see how this is helping yet, but in time.. at least getting a look at his injuries is a good start," he smiled.

He was right about at least one thing: in that moment, I saw absolutely no way in which this was helping him. I saw that we were the source of more pain after this man had been to hell and back, and I absolutely hated myself for ever leaving his side to begin with.

"You need to step back so we can let him up, Bella," Alice finally spoke.

Reluctantly, I removed my hand from his arm and took a few steps back. Carlisle and Alice flanked me, prepared to protect me from any physical harm that might come my way. They failed to realize I was already so emotionally broken that it didn't matter; I didn't think I could possibly hurt anymore than I did now.

Jasper helped him off the table and as soon as his feet hit the ground, the vampire quickly stumbled all the way back against the wall, falling to the floor and edging himself along until he hit the corner. He instantly turned his back to the open space and hugged his knees. I tried to approach him but his growling remained vicious, despite Jasper's efforts.

Still, I attempted to move closer, uninhibited by his aggression. I stopped short as his body shifted into a crouch. I met his eyes for one instant and saw pure, unadulterated hate.

My heart broke.

"I think we should maybe give him some time," Jasper whispered to me. In that moment, I didn't have it in me to resist anymore. At the first sign of my resignation, Jasper held his hand out to me. I shook my head, a few more tears falling free, and turned to walk up the stairs.

He regretted letting me near him. He didn't want me by his side anymore. Any faith he had built in me was now wrecked. I felt so utterly defeated. I knew he needed some time to compose himself and, although it wasn't in my heart to grant him that, I just couldn't fight it right now. My body was too exhausted and I couldn't make my mind work against it.

My frame shook with sobs as I ascended the stairs. The others followed behind me, whispering words of encouragement that were completely lost on me. There was only one thing that would make me feel better right now and he hated me.

I found a small degree of comfort in the realization that I'd go to him again soon.

When we reached the top of the staircase, Carlisle turned off the basement light and closed the door behind us. As he turned the bolt, I heard the growling slowly ease.

Impossibly, my heart broke a little more.

**

A/N: Ahh, there you have it. It was a little rougher than the last few, I tried to read it everyday and adjust it so that it could be it's best, but I need to know how you guys feel about it, so review! Thanks :)