A/N: So... I give you this long-ass chapter, lots of stuff in it... I spent the first day after finals on it for you, and all I ask in return is just to have a zillion reviews when I get back!

(And read the end note, please).

Thanks to jilburfm for betaing, & to babette for making sure I did okay explaining my sciencey stuff. And to EVERYONE who's reading/reviewing/favoriting.

**

The Venom

Alice POV

After school, I went straight home, knowing I'd have to beat Bella there by a substantial amount of time. She was well aware that stopping at her house on a daily basis was nothing short of a necessity, but I knew she would make the side-trip as quick as possible. I wasn't entirely sure what had gotten into her, but it was clear at this point that she was an unstoppable force.

I knew that Esme had left blood downstairs for him again, but I also knew at this point that he hadn't tried drinking it. So I decided that I would become proactive; enough waiting for him to take it on his own. He wasn't going to get better until he ate, and he apparently wasn't going to eat by choice.

I made it to the house quickly, opting to run home rather than drive, letting the others take care of the car. I could see as far as my getting down the steps before the vision became broken.

The blood sits on the bottom step where Esme left it. The vampire is no longer lying, as he had been when we left this morning, but is once again huddled in his corner. He clutches the blanket tightly to his chest, his back still fully exposed. I walk down the steps slowly, trying to find the meanings behind his growls. They're not aggressive. I make it to the blood, holding my breath to prevent myself from drinking it. I inch my way closer…

I snapped out of my daze. Every time I tried to see him, I only grew more frustrated. It had become a bit easier to watch him when Bella was there, his actions almost predictable. Despite the fact that he may not actually trust her, he didn't seem to want to hurt her. While Bella was gone, however, the visions reverted to their unclear nature.

When I made it to the basement door I hesitated briefly, taking a sharp breath and exhaling in preparation. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was going nowhere, but I wasn't used to actually having to rely on my gut. Is this what normal people live like? I hated the uncertainty of the outcome. It only further motivated me to get him better.

I pulled the door open swiftly, allowing my failure of a vision to begin its course. My actions followed the premonition to a tee, as I reached down with bated breath for the cup.

I glanced back toward the crumbling heap of vampire in the corner, scowling at the ambiguity of this encounter. I took a few baby steps forward, testing the waters.

Aggression, anger. I sit on top of his thrashing torso, waiting out his surge of energy. He screams, fighting with everything he has to get me away from him, but it's not enough. I try to get the blood into him, but he slams his head into the floor, a deafening crack resonating at the force of the impact.

"O…kay," I whispered, retreating some. His growls lost some of their intensity, his arms pulling his knees in closer. I sat on the bottom step, reconsidering my plan. Bella would be here soon. What if…

Bella walks down the stairs, noticing the blood that was left on the steps. Her eyes dart between the cup and the vampire as she leans down and snatches it. She straightens, glancing back at the basement door, before proceeding toward him…

…if I left it here? It was a dilemma I had faced repeatedly for the past two days, whether he could be trusted around Bella.

On the one hand, given what we knew about him, he was probably too weak to hurt her badly, no matter the case. So if I stayed near, would I be able to stop him in the small time frame I had from when he made the instant decision to when he could actually break her skin? Should I even risk Bella that way? Bella would say 'absolutely', Carlisle would say 'absolutely not'.

On the other hand, my damned gut was telling me this was right. That somehow this would work. But what if, after he fed, he happily ate Bella as a second course?

I looked down at the blood in my hands. There wasn't even a full cup of it. After a deep, thoughtful breath, I decided that it wouldn't give him enough strength. It could be considered a test run, right? To see if Bella could get him to feed. And if she could, maybe there was another way, as well.

I set the cup at my feet, retreating back up the staircase slowly, giving myself ample time to change my mind. I knew it wasn't going to happen.

**

Bella POV

The day had passed in a blur, much like yesterday. I was vaguely aware of my schoolwork, my friends, my family. As I left Charlie's house, I grabbed my backpack. A pop quiz tomorrow over The Canterbury Tales was heavily implied in class today, so I knew I'd have to squeeze in some reading time. I scrunched my face up as a drove, knowing that I was being negligent and wholly not caring about it.

I tried to relax as I drove closer to the mansion. I forced my foot to let off the gas some, my fingers to loosen their grip on the wheel. I could feel the stress taking its toll on my insides. My stomach was tight and achy, my heart beating double-time, the muscles throughout my entire body rigid and pained. I took several cleansing breaths, talking my mind down from its crazed state.

"Get a grip," I whispered to myself, rounding the bend that led to my second home.

When I finally pulled into the driveway, I ignored the urge to run to him. I fought my instincts, determined to prove that I still had willpower. It was a losing battle; I'll be the first to admit. My hands pressed roughly into the cool leather seat, shaking, waiting for my mind and body to converge again. I nodded my head, admitting defeat.

I walked into the house, noting the shift in energy at my arrival. Esme and Alice came to greet me and play hostesses, offering me drinks, dinner and dessert before giving in to what I truly wanted.

"Jeez, Bells… no time for friends anymore?" Emmett asked as I walked past him. I stopped and turned, allowing myself to smile at his lightheartedness. His face broke into a toothy grin and he cleared the distance between us, enveloping me in an Emmett-hug and forcing the air from my lungs simultaneously.

"Don't get eaten," he whispered into my ear. I could feel the smile on his lips and I hugged him back. "Crazy lady," he mumbled as he pulled away, guiding me toward the basement door. I squeezed his hand as tight as I could, looking up at him hopefully. "Couldn't even feel it," he smirked. "You'll have to do better than that when Dracula flips his shit if you want to make it out alive…"

I shrugged my shoulders dramatically before untangling our fingers and letting my knuckles crack. "I'll do my best."

With that, I opened the basement door and began once again searching the darkness for his battered form.

After locating my vampire, right where I knew he would be, I put my focus back on my movements. Tumbling down the steps wouldn't be beneficial; lest I crack my head open and effectively become his source of strength. It was when I was nearing the bottom of the staircase that I first noticed the cup. The seemingly inoffensive item was glaring at me, daring me to pick it up.

It wasn't really much of a decision. As soon as I saw it, I knew what I would do. In truth, the presence of this cup was a sign of hope. Maybe…

I snatched it up as I passed the last step, frustrated at the meager amount of blood the Cullens were sharing. It was a start, though. And if I could walk away from this with all of my limbs still intact and my heart still beating, maybe they would let me try again.

"Hey," I whispered as I came closer to him. His head snapped up and his blank eyes met mine for an instant, the reflexive growl following. "I'm not going to hurt you," I said, biting back a smile. Of course he knew that, and of course he would still cower. It was his body's natural reaction to everything. While every flinch of his body caused a sharp pain in mine, I suspected that it was no longer me that he feared. He just… feared. And we could work on that.

He inhaled, letting my scent fill his lungs, his growling letting up slightly as he did. I beamed. "I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered again, for good measure.

When I was within a few yards of him, I dropped to my knees, scooting my body closer to him and setting the blood aside. I knew I still needed to be cautious, and although patience wasn't a virtue that I had an abundance of, I felt my movements slowing automatically.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, searching his face for the answer. As a result of his increased shaking, my genius deduction was that he was feeling afraid. Perceptive, Bella.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. You know that, right?" I brought my body closer to his, letting my hand come into contact with his. His fingers flexed a little from their rigid grip on his legs and I took the opportunity to wedge my hand underneath his, blocking his grasp.

He looked shaken and immediately pulled back, but I let my hand stay where it was, knowing he would calm momentarily. My other hand trailed up his back until it found his hairline and I ran my fingers through it lightly, not wanting to harm him.

"I missed you." I bit my lip, waiting for any response. Nothing. "I get nervous when I'm not here… like you're going to disappear while I'm gone."

His trembling was easing slowly as I rubbed his neck, and I took the opportunity to rearrange my legs so I could sit more comfortably.

"I was hoping maybe you'd eat? I know you didn't earlier but…" I trailed off, not really sure why he hadn't eaten. It didn't make sense. Of that I was positive.

I picked up the cup from beside me and took a deep breath, slowly pushing it toward him. He craned his neck away from me, his eyes clenching shut. What?

"C'mon," I whispered. "Please, please just try…"

I removed my hand from his leg, bringing it to his face. He abruptly began to growl, his entire body falling to the floor as he squirmed, attempting to put space between us.

I immediately set the cup down, leaning over his struggling form. I put my hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing small circles around his vertebrae. "It's okay… I'm not going to hurt you," I said, bringing my other hand to his exposed arm in an effort to stop his withdrawal. "Please, don't go. I don't want to…" I stopped, closing my eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I moved so that I was closer to his head, his panic rapidly increasing. "It's okay, you're okay." He was growling and attempting to push himself from the floor, but his arms collapsed underneath him, his torso crashing back down. Like clockwork, my tears began flowing.

I swiftly repositioned myself against the wall, his head next to my legs, as it had been last night. How could a vampire be repulsed by blood? I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I put it out of my mind for the moment.

I let my hand rest on his head, giving him some time to calm down a bit. He was trying to pull away again, attempting to turn his body, but it was futile. All I could think to do for him was to wait while his pain eased.

As his terror began to subside, I let my fingers start rubbing him again. I let them move through his filthy hair, over his back and his shoulders, over his neck, his exposed cheek, his ear. I traced them over every inch of him that was within my reach as I watched the horror slowly fade from his eyes. It seemed like hours before he was over the particularly fearful outburst, but eventually, his struggling eased.

I had just begun telling him about my day when I noticed his eyes fixated on the abandoned cup. He didn't look particularly afraid of it, but his body was tense and trembling.

"I think we shouldn't try that again yet…" I said, to myself more than to him. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, but I quickly became alarmingly aware of the fact that there was actually a debate going on inside of me. I knew he was afraid, but I couldn't fathom why. And I knew that feeding him would help him, right? If I could just get him to try…

But I also knew that he hadn't reacted so badly to anything since the exam. As I came to a decision, the now familiar feelings of guilt, longing and heartache coursed through me.

I lifted his head slightly off of the floor and guided his shaking body toward me. When his head finally came to rest on my lap, I took a moment to push the hair out of his face, my fingertips lingering on his trembling forehead for a few extra seconds. I knew what I had to do. "I trust you," I whispered, as I raised the cup off of the floor next to me. "Please… Please try to trust me…"

I brought it to his lips, supporting the weight of his head in the crook of my arm. He looked up at me, anguish written plain as day on his face.

"Please," I whispered. "Please just try…"

He turned his head away from me, his body shaking forcefully. I attempted to steady him and hold him to me at the same time, which proved to be a difficult feat while holding a cup of blood.

"It's okay," I whispered, rubbing his neck lightly. With every passing second his shaking grew more violent and my fingers inevitably began trembling as well.

Using the crook of my arm for leverage, I was able to turn his buried head enough that I had access to his mouth and brought the cup to it quickly.

As the first drop touched his lips, I noticed a couple of things happening at once.

At the forefront of my attention was my vampire's body, curled tightly as he rolled to his side, his hands clutching his stomach. I felt him gag as I watched in horror. He had nothing inside of him, so he wasn't actually vomiting, but he was clearly going through the motions.

In the background somewhere, the basement door burst open as I heard Alice cry for me to stop. I didn't look up, I didn't comprehend what she was saying- all I heard were the heaving sounds coming from my lap and my own whispered pleas for his misery to end.

His body doubled over further in its attempt to purge everything from his system.

He lay across me on his stomach as I slid one of my arms underneath him to help support his chest, the other rubbing up and down his back softly. His body lurched as he retched again, but nothing came out.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, brushing the hair off of his forehead and letting his weight fall back onto my legs. He was shaking, his breathing heavy, as he tried to lift himself to heave again. I knew nothing would come out. I wondered how long his system would attempt to empty itself before realizing that nothing had ever entered it.

His arms gave out again, and I lightly fingered his hair. He was making whimpering noises as he composed himself, shaking and broken. I pulled the blanket over to us, enveloping his body beneath it.

"Bella, come upstairs for a minute," Alice said from the doorway. "It won't be long, and he'll be okay while you're gone… but you need to come upstairs for a minute."

"Why?" I whispered through the tears, all the while watching him come down again. It seemed like I was only hurting him. I closed my eyes, which only freed more tears.

"This isn't your fault, Bella. Carlisle will be home soon, he'll explain."

I looked down at my softly shuddering vampire, running my hands through his hair one last time. I moved from under him, replacing my body with the pillow, while I let my fingers linger on him for a few fleeting moments.

"Please don't hate me," I choked out. I knew eventually I'd mess up enough that he would, but I could only hope, for now, that I hadn't lost everything.

**

When Carlisle came home ten minutes later, I practically pounced on him. He told me to hang on, that he wanted to address everyone, and led me into the living room. I sat on the couch next to Alice and Jasper, letting myself relax with the waves of calm that were being forced upon me. I tossed a thankful glance toward Jasper, showing my gratitude in the only way I could think.

"Don't mention it," he mouthed.

Carlisle entered the living room shortly after we had all convened, a combination of relief and sadness on his face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I was able to get a look at his venom today…" he began, dancing around the subject. He looked at Alice hopelessly and she shrugged, urging him to just say it.

He sighed. "There are traces of a synthetic inhibitor in his venom," he said. My eyes widened. A what?

"I... I don't understand what that means..." Surely he wouldn't leave it at that?

"Essentially, it's a drug that makes blood to him no different than human food would be to him… or what dirt would be to you. His body is rejecting the blood because of the drug. When we eat human food… it's a show. Our bodies don't actually get any sustenance from it and we end up having to gag the food up later. Otherwise it would just remain in our system, providing no nutritional value and having nowhere to go," he explained.

"Since our bodies don't actually pass anything, the only option is to vomit what we can't metabolize."

"But he didn't drink any blood," I explained. "Only a drop touched his mouth – he didn't even swallow it. He had nothing to get rid of!"

"Yes, Alice explained on the phone. My best guess at this point is that it seems like vomiting is his body's natural reaction to the blood. I imagine, if he tried enough, or was forced enough, whatever the case may be, that he would develop an aversion to blood in general. His body may be conditioned at this point to reflexively gag when blood enters it. If he has a natural aversion to it, I suppose it's possible that he would gag when the scent is so potent? I can't be sure, as I've never seen anything like this in vampires, but maybe…?"

"Can you... fix it…?" was all that I could think to ask.

"I believe so. If I can create an agent that will counteract the inhibitor that is in him now, preventing his body from metabolizing the blood, it would… it could hypothetically render the drugs in his system inert. So, while it wouldn't eliminate the inhibitor from his system completely, it would prevent it from performing its function and allow his body to accept the blood and begin to heal. If I can't, his body will eventually metabolize the drug itself… but… I'm not sure how long that could take…"

"So what do we do now?"

"I'll work on creating an antidote for it, but again, it'll take a little time. My best hope would be to have a first trial ready within a couple days…"

"How will we get him to take experimental drugs?" Jasper finally spoke.

Carlisle replied first with a shrug, then with a very not-so-subtle glance in my direction. "It's the best option right now. We have a couple of days to consider it. In the meantime, it'll only cause him discomfort to feed."

"Who would do that to him?" I asked, knowing none of us had the answer, but I couldn't help asking.

"We don't know," Alice answered, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. I nodded, defeated, thinking of what I could do to make the next few days of hell a little bit easier on him.

Suddenly, Alice's entire expression shifted. Her eyes got that evil-Alice-gleam in them, her smile inexorable. She hopped up from the couch with so much force that I automatically cowered a little, groaning internally at whatever she saw.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, practically bouncing with excitement. "This is a great idea, Bella!" she whispered, dragging me into the kitchen. I looked down at the floor, blushing wildly. Damn the omniscient vampires to hell.

She pulled me all the way into the kitchen before finally releasing me, gently shoving my body onto a stool. She proceeded to rummage through the cupboard until she produced two medium-sized steel bowls. I rolled my eyes but couldn't completely contain my amusement.

"Do you know what you're doing?" she asked.

I exaggerated my thinking face, tapping my fingers on my chin. "Well," I started- "while my favorite pastime used to be giving sponge baths, I stopped when I discovered that my real love lies in the art of Jujitsu." I quirked my eyebrow and winked. Why would I know how to give a sponge bath?

Alice sighed, exasperated with my apparent lack of cooperation. "Well, I've never given one, either, but it seems straightforward enough…" she trailed off, her eyes glazing over. "Okay, I can't see what happens. We'll just have to make do with what we have." She grumbled semi-incoherently about my vampire's unpredictability before plastering the smile back on her face.

"Two bowls," she began, "one with clean water, one with dirty water, you with me?" I nodded, closing my eyes. "Think we should use soap? I think so. Think it should be scented?"

I shook my head, rolling my eyes and mouthing "no" with great exaggeration.

"There's nothing wrong with smelling nice," she informed. "But I think you're right, he might not appreciate lilacs in his current state. So… the big bowl... is going to have the soapy water in it. This smaller bowl… is just going to have water." She looked at me expectantly, waiting to see if I understood her so far. I nodded, still somewhat amused, but undeniably slightly embarrassed.

Alice went on to explain her version of how to give a sponge bath, carefully instructing me on how to keep the clean water clean, how to rinse him, how to avoid his wounds. I took it all in, really having no idea what I was doing but just wanting him to feel better after this afternoon. Eventually, she went upstairs to get a towel and came back with three bottles, two towels and four sponges. I picked the first soap, the first towel, and spent several minutes comparing which sponge was softest, knowing full well it made no difference to him.

I finally chose the sponge that I deemed the least abrasive while she put some water in the bowls. I put my finger in to test the warmth. I personally thought it was too cold, but Alice assured me that he wouldn't know the difference and to stop being such a human. So I gave in, realizing that she was right.

As we opened the basement door, I turned to her, putting my arms out in front of me. She folded the towel neatly and set it over my outstretched forearms, gently setting the bowls side by side on top of it before throwing the sponge in the soapy water. She smiled happily at me and kissed my cheek, threatening my life if I tripped on the way down. I assured her I would kill myself if I did and save her the trouble, which seemed to appease her.

"Good luck," she whispered, closing the door behind me.

**

I had managed to make it down the stairs with only a few minor mishaps, mainly resulting in a trail of soapy water down my shirt.

When I got close enough to him, I set the bowls down on the ground, positioning myself in between them. My vampire was terrified of this, and made no effort to hide his anguish. He tried to bring himself up from his prone position and I let him, wanting him to be as comfortable as possible.

"It's just water," I said, hoping to lessen his terror. "I was thinking maybe I could get you cleaned up?"

As he finally pulled himself up, his eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape. I worried that he was going to resent his corner for trapping him, so I moved back a bit, letting him see that he could get away if he wanted to.

"No one here wants to hurt you," I said beseechingly. "I know someone hurt you, but that's over. Please. I need you to try to trust me."

Neither his growling nor trembling lessened, so I moved in closer, with a new purpose. I had to show him I wasn't going to hurt him. He had to feel it. Words were seemingly ineffective, and I needed him to know. So I closed the gap between us and grabbed the sponge, quickly bringing it to his back. This will work, I told myself, not wanting to lose the small amount of confidence I was hanging onto.

When the sponge contacted his back he lurched away, terror rolling off of him in waves. I needed him to calm down enough to let me start. I could only hope that he would realize it wasn't painful once I started.

He was definitely panicking. I dropped the sponge back into the bowl and turned back to him, rubbing his neck softly, willing his eyes to meet mine. He was gasping and shuddering, his arms wrapped around his torso, clutching his sides defensively.

"Jasper," I called softly. Like clockwork, the door opened and Jasper appeared. At first, my vampire's terror increased. He growled loudly and aggressively as his body curled further around itself. I kept my hand in place, letting it roam into his hair a bit. "It's okay, it's just Jasper," I whispered, feeling completely calm despite my surroundings.

I tried to pry his hand open and, after some coercion, he gave in. I let my fingers tangle with his, closing his hand back around mine. I could hear his growls letting up some, so I continued to rub his neck. The muscles seemed to involuntarily loosen a bit, which only encouraged my movements.

"We won't hurt you," I promised softly, reaching back for the sponge. When it made contact this time, he only flinched. His eyes were clamped shut and his fingers tightened around mine. I grasped his tighter in response. I started at his neck, squeezing a little bit of water out of the sponge and rubbing the skin there softly.

"It's not so bad, is it?" I finally spoke when it became clear that he wouldn't look at me. "It has to feel at least a little nice to get cleaned up some?"

I heard the door close behind me, but my vampire's growling didn't increase. It remained the soft rumbling that I was used to, although he continued shaking. A very small part of me blamed Alice for making the water too cold.

I brought the sponge to his hair, deciding it needed the most work. I wanted to use my fingers to help loosen the debris and dirt, but I couldn't bring myself to untangle our hands. When I decided it needed to be done, I began to withdraw my hand, but the pressure of his increased and I immediately changed my mind. So I kept rubbing the sponge through his hair, scrubbing with more vigor, working to dislodge the dirt that had caked into his roots. When I was finally somewhat satisfied and completely aware that I couldn't do any better with what I had, I moved to his back.

I tried to avoid as many of the gashes as possible but would occasionally let the sponge sweep over one. He would only cringe away slightly before returning to typical shaking.

I worked the sponge over every visible inch of his body, pouring my full attention into getting him clean. Since he was still hiding in the corner, only half of his body was accessible… so I got that half as clean as I could before stopping to regroup.

Slowly, I pried his body from the corner, turning him the best that I could so that I could access his other half. After some struggle, his body complied and I was able to reposition him to face the opposite direction. I gave his right half the same treatment that his left half had received. I had to pull his arms away from him to clean the lengths of them, but he seemed somewhat okay with it. His growling never completely stopped and his trembling had barely lessened, but he wasn't putting up much of a fight.

When all of his limbs and his back were cleaned, I had a new issue to face.

"Will you… let me clean off your chest a little?" I asked, knowing there would be no answer but not exactly caring. "I promise I'll take care of you."

I murmured words of encouragement to him, knowing they would be lost. Several minutes later, I had him repositioned so that I could generally reach his torso, although it still wasn't easy. I noticed the long cut down the center of his chest and made a point to carefully avoid it.

I rubbed the sponge over his collarbone and down his front, coming to rest at his navel. It was at that point that his nudity first became an issue. Should I? I internally scolded myself for even caring, but honestly, I had no experience in this department. While this was anything but sexual, I wasn't sure if I could handle… touching… him. I let the sponge linger on his lower stomach, contemplating.

It wasn't a long battle. Quickly, so I wouldn't lose my nerve, I averted my eyes modestly while brushing the sponge hastily over his groin. I had set out to clean him, and that was all I was doing. I tried to avoid actual contact with his skin there, not sure that I'd be able to keep my confidence if I were to touch him, and felt a breath of relief as I moved on to his inner thighs.

When the dirt, for the most part, was off of his body, I reached behind me and grabbed the towel that I had left there earlier. As I rubbed the moisture from his body, I began explaining what Carlisle found in the lab. I didn't really understand it myself, but I wanted him to know that we were trying. His body was slowly relaxing under the towel, knowing that the worst was over, as I apologized for the thousandth time about making him drink the blood.

"Carlisle said he can fix it, though. You just need to give him a few days. He'll fix it," I whispered, unsure of who I was trying to convince more. I finished drying him and wrapped the towel over his shoulders, pulling him tightly to me, my fingers running through his damp hair as his growling finally ceased.

**

A/N: So… if there's any confusion on what the venom turned up and you guys want my super crash course on synthetic inhibitors mixed with vampire physiology, I implore you, PM me! I've spent a rather ridiculous amount of time making sure all the puzzle pieces fit, I can bring in things from twilight, I can bring in things from science, and I *think* I can back up everything I wrote... So PM if there's confusion, I'm happy to do my best to clear it up.

And I'm sorry for baby steps; the plot is slowly but surely moving forward.

Review!