A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight & Co. I just screwed with her vamp to my liking.

Ridiculously gushy 'thank you's to Angstgoddess003, LillieCullen & everyone else who is pimping this out all stealthy and without my awareness!

And to OCD for pinch betaing to ensure a speedy delivery. And to Jilburfm for betaing even though she's on vacation! Amazing :D

And to everyone who clicks/favorites/reviews! Still trying to respond to all, I think I get to the grand majority of them. But I love each and every one. So don't stop!

The Antidote

Bella POV

**

I hated square one. It was an ugly and frustrating place to meander but I knew that patience was crucial.

My evening had become nothing more than a waiting game. We lay on the floor together for hours, waiting for the next step. When Alice came down to tell me that the next step had been modified, we waited for the new instructions. When I learned that, rather than trying to feed him, Carlisle needed the alcohol from inside of his stomach to bring back to the lab, the next waiting game commenced.

I wasn't sure how uncomfortable having such a miniscule amount in his stomach was, but I couldn't imagine that it would necessitate a purge. In theory, it should have been easy enough. We all knew that eventually he would need to cleanse his system. But in reality, it was such an inconsequential quantity that I just couldn't see him bothering to vomit.

I moved my hand to hover over his waist and stomach, my fingers grazing whatever undamaged skin I could find. He wrapped himself up tightly, a sign of his obvious discomfort, but allowed me to continue.

I leaned on my elbow, elevated just enough so that I could peek at his expression as he stared blankly into the dark basement. He didn't seem to blink nor move, but inhaled deeply in regular intervals. I tried to time my breathing to his but eventually my lungs demanded more.

I was quickly growing restless, thoroughly unsure of how to proceed but knowing that we were getting nowhere in the meantime.

As if on cue, my vampire began growling and the basement door crept open.

"Bella?" Alice peeked her head in, wary of moving too quickly or aggressively.

I moved to sit up, evoking a growl filled with warning and panic. "It's alright," I whispered, straightening my body and angling myself toward Alice. She made her way down the staircase before sitting on the bottom step and pulling her knees tightly to her chest. My vampire pushed his body closer to me, closer to his corner, keeping his eyes trained on her all the while. Once I was sufficiently pinned and more than mildly uncomfortable, I untangled our limbs and un-sandwiched myself, carefully sidestepping the trembling body and moved toward the steps.

As I reached Alice, she smiled broadly, patting the wood next to her. I stretched for a few more minutes before accepting her invitation, curling my frame against the wall opposite where she sat.

"So…" I began, "any idea how to get the venom sample?" I smiled slightly, my vain effort to lose some of the stress that was weighing me down.

"We just need to wait a while," she explained. "His natural instinct is to expel the alcohol, the only reason he hasn't so far is because he's fighting it. Soon, though," she finished, stealing a glance at him before returning her attention to me.

We sat on the steps for a while longer, making small talk and discussing schoolwork. I wanted nothing more than to go back to him, but I wasn't entirely unhappy for the break. That is, until my stomach growled.

I groaned, knowing that with Alice down here with me, I'd not be able escape my human needs.

"Bella," she chided, raising an eyebrow and half-smiling. "Lunchtime for the human?"

I crossed my arms in obstinate refusal, letting my head fall back against the wall.

"Come, on." She nodded her head toward the door as she rose, extending her hand to me. "You've got all evening to be down here, starving yourself isn't going to help him."

With a sigh, I took her hand and pulled myself up. As we walked up the stairs, the growling softened, audibly ceasing as the door closed behind us.

**

We sat at the sparsely populated diner waiting for my food, my knees bouncing rapidly. The service was taking forever, and all I really wanted was to be with him.

I felt Alice's cool, hard hand steadying my leg beneath the table and smiled, apologizing quickly for my lack of control.

"He's really done a number on you, eh?" Emmett asked, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Shut up," I grumbled, knowing that this conversation couldn't be headed anywhere good.

"I don't think I get it though, Bella, seriously… Is it the hair? Or do you just like 'em skinny?"

I coughed on my soda, not sure whether to feel angry or guilty or sad. I hadn't really allowed myself to think about why I was so drawn to him, but it couldn't be something like that, could it? I knew he would be beautiful when he was healthy. I smiled against my will at the image, earning myself a hearty chuckle from Emmett.

"Stop it, Em," Alice interjected on my behalf. "Leave her alone."

When my food arrived, I busied myself with it to avoid further speculation on the topic of my vampire and me. Alice and Emmett began a discussion about the last town they lived in, so I let my mind wander briefly. But, like clockwork, the conversation quickly came back to him.

"…what do you think happened to him?" I heard Emmett ask, my interest in their conversation quickly growing. My head snapped up, eager to hear their theories.

"I don't really know," Alice answered pensively. "All we really have to go on is that wristband, and so far nothing has turned up."

"Have you been trying to turn something up, Alice?" I began probing, fully unaware until this point that anything had been done at all.

"Well," she began, "Rose and I have been trying. But like I said, it's pretty vague. We called around a bit, a few friends in the South and a couple in Europe, but everyone's as perplexed as we are."

I nodded, taking another bite and mulling over this new information. "What do you mean by 'calling around'?" I finally asked.

Emmett shot a look toward Alice, clearly in warning, but I ignored it. As did she.

"Rose and I have been contacting others… you know…" She rocked her upper body, making sure I was on the same page as her. We tried to avoid openly talking about the existence of mythical creatures in public, so the word "vampire" was essentially outlawed if anyone was within a mile radius. I nodded my head, indicating that I knew what she was saying, so she continued. "Well, we have some friends and acquaintances around the world, but we're sort of trying to only contact the people we think we can trust --"

Emmett cleared his throat loudly and when I turned to him, I saw him slashing his finger across his throat. Hmm.

"Emmett? What're you doing?"

"Nothing, Bella!" He grinned widely, knowing he was caught and not caring in the least. I'd have to get it from Alice.

"Alice?"

She looked back to Emmett, trying to convey something without words. I rolled my eyes and grunted, turning my attention back to my food while they had their silent conversation. Or, too quietly for my ears, at least. After several minutes of hushed arguing, Alice spoke up.

"We're a little worried about letting the word get too far, Bella," she said, raising her finger to keep me from interrupting. "There's this group of… royalty, if you will…" She was dancing around the subject; Alice was usually far more articulate than this.

"Are you saying you think they're the ones that did this?"

"Shh," she said, waving her finger furiously through the air to make her point. I pushed another spoonful of ravioli into my mouth, showcasing my effort to behave. "No, I don't think they're responsible. They don't really have a motive, and even if they did, it'd be almost impossible for him to make it all the way to Forks in his current condition. It's more like…"

"Like we don't really like to involve them in our affairs in general," Emmett cut in, his impatience clearly on the same level as mine. "They basically think they can control everything, and they have the hugest sticks up their asses that I've ever seen. It's impressive, really…"

"So," Alice said, wanting to tell the story, "if they were to get involved, everything would be in their court. They really could do anything they wanted to us, or to…" she trailed off, knowing that I'd be able to piece it together.

"Or to your boyfriend," Emmett finished. Alice practically growled at him, but I didn't need the words to know what she was going for. We'd want to keep this information out of their hands at all costs, I surmised.

"So, we're trying to get information but at the same time trying to keep his existence hushed," Alice said. "Even if the Volturi didn't care, I imagine whoever did this is still out there… and possibly wants him back –"

Emmett kicked her underneath the table, but it was way beyond too late. Of course they would want him back. My breathing was picking up and I could feel my eyes tearing, realizing the real danger in this entire situation didn't lie in my vampire, but in his captors.

"It's okay, Bella," Emmett said, laying his hand on my arm. "Alice doesn't see anyone coming for him, he'll be fine…" His effort at reassurance was a failed attempt. Alice's visions were far from perfect, all it would take is one of their 'friends' deciding to contact one of their 'friends' for the future to change completely.

"They'll find him," I whispered to myself, knowing it was true. Someone went through a great deal of trouble keeping my vampire sick, and I knew in my heart that they wouldn't lose him so easily. Neither would I, I allowed, trying to convince myself that I'd have any say in the matter.

"And we'll protect him," Emmett answered, squeezing my forearm and trying to comfort me.

"Plus, Carlisle will have the cure soon," Alice added, resting her hand on mine from across the table, "and once he eats, I don't see why he wouldn't regain his strength. It'll be alright."

"I told you to leave it alone," I heard Emmett grumble, but I was barely paying attention.

I spent the rest of the lunch worrying. I needed to get back there. What if they came for him now, with half of the family so far away from the house? I only found comfort in the fact that Alice should see that, and she didn't. Nonetheless, I finished my meal quickly, knowing that my vampire could be taken from me at any time.

**

When we got back to the house, Carlisle told us the vampire had vomited the alcohol in our absence. No one had gone downstairs to get what we needed for the lab, so as I passed through the living room, Carlisle handed me a cotton swab and a little plastic cup, instructing me to swab the concrete where my vampire had gagged and put the whole thing in the cup.

I got downstairs and went straight for our corner, opting to leave the light on so that I could find what I was looking for. There was a small wet spot that was only mildly repulsive, so I quickly got the sample and headed back upstairs. While I wanted nothing more than to stay with him, I knew the sooner the cup was in Carlisle's hands the sooner he would be back at the lab, and hopefully, the sooner my vampire would be strong again.

After I had completed my task, I headed back down, eager to hold him and offer what comfort I could. The new reality I faced made every moment with him all the more valuable. The concerns that constantly plagued my mind were growing instead of easing. Now, not only did I fear losing his trust, but I realized that even if I kept it, I could lose him. They could take him, and I'd be helpless against them. If they were human, I think the Cullens would be enough to protect us. But if they were vampires? If it was that royal group? Even Alice admitted being helpless against them. Or, if, as Alice and Emmett had speculated, it was some other group, we could be completely blindsided.

I tried to let myself relax some as I approached him, not wanting my anxiety to heighten his. I quickly came to his side, letting his fear ease before pulling him to me. I knew he was shaking and afraid still, but I was too. I felt my body tremble with his, my tears spilling where his couldn't. I grabbed the blanket and encircled him in it, waiting for him to calm. I knew he would eventually. And I knew it was a freedom that I was now immune to.

**

The rest of the weekend was spent in this manner.

I was more attuned to him than ever now, my body shadowed every flinch of his. Each time the basement door opened, I prepared myself for the end. I was now living his fear, constantly anxious and simply biding my time until someone came to hurt him, to hurt us.

I mostly lay with him, both of us on our sides, in the same precarious position as we had on Friday, but now we faced our corner, my body reinforcing his shell. Neither of us could see the door, but I knew if anything was to come, we would both know. The blanket covered us and I kept my head resting on my arm, ignoring the throbbing pain in my neck and shoulders. Too soon, someone would force us apart. My body could rest then; for now, I wanted to watch him, to touch him.

I had only left the basement to eat, once on Saturday night and twice on Sunday. I didn't read to him or even talk to him, really. I just lay there, watching him, touching him, being close to him. It was enough to keep our collective demons at bay, but I knew it was quickly drawing to an end.

When Alice had come down Sunday evening to bring me home, I wasn't exactly surprised. Charlie called a few times so I knew he was worried. She convinced me to go home and eat dinner with him, then threatened me if I tried to come back here.

I left the mansion bawling, wishing for more time that I knew I didn't have. They would keep him safe. They all assured me of this. I wasn't convinced, but as it turns out, my temper tantrums are futile against this family.

I got home and ate with Charlie in silence, grumpy and groggy and sore, not hungry and not talkative. When he released me to my own personal hell two hours later, I showered away the weekend's filth and climbed into bed. I fell asleep quickly, my body betraying me.

Monday came and went in a similar fashion. Alice wasn't in school, but called me to tell me everything was fine. It was sunny so they were staying at home. I was elated by this news, the more vampires in the house, the more protection he had.

Somehow, I made it through the day without completely losing my sanity. I sped home and cooked dinner for Charlie, putting it in the fridge and leaving him a note explaining my absence once more. As I wrote it, I realized that eventually this would be a problem. He was already growing wary of the fact that I was constantly gone, but to his credit, he had given me surprisingly little hell about it.

I put it on the ever growing list of 'things to deal with later.' Things this mundane were not my concern at the moment. I had bigger fish to fry.

I spent that evening with my vampire again, delving further into all things Chaucer for class. Letting my grades slip now would only further the dilemma, so I subjected my vampire to the verse once more. He didn't seem to mind, but after a few hours of reading, I set the book aside and lay down. This had become my favorite part of our routine, as it made me feel like there was actually some trust built between us.

My hands would absently graze his face and his eyes would close in a mixture of comfort and nervousness. Eventually, though, comfort seemed to win out. And in the instant in which that battle was over, I felt like we could get through anything.

Always, though, I would return to the reality in which we could do nothing. Nothing but lay here, nothing but offer one another solace for a fleeting moment.

**

It was in this mindset that I arrived at the Cullens' on Tuesday evening. In retrospect, it shouldn't have surprised me that the second trial was ready, but when I walked into the living room to find a wide array of emotions on their faces, the first thing I allowed myself to feel was panic.

I took in each different vampire, finally settling on Carlisle who looked… hopeful. I didn't want to set myself up for another disappointment, but I hadn't seen Carlisle since Saturday night. After I had given him the regurgitated alcohol, he disappeared.

This had to mean something real. He had to have the antidote ready.

His smile was inviting as I gaped at him, my panic suddenly overcome with hope and fear and excitement. If this worked, maybe there was hope after all. If my vampire was strong, surely his enemies would struggle to bring him down. I knew I needed to stop this line of thought before it got out of hand, so I forced myself to come back to the moment.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted me warmly as Alice made her way over. She squeezed my hand in hopeful reassurance, practically bouncing in anticipation.

"Carlisle has the antidote ready!" she screeched, her smile impossibly widening. She was too hopeful, even for Alice. Something was different this time.

I looked to Carlisle expectantly, my stomach churning at the thought of forcing more drugs into my vampire. It would be worth it in the end, I was positive. But I wasn't sure how many more times I could do it.

"Is it going to work?" I asked, although no one would technically have the answer.

"Well," Carlisle said, "it was successful in the lab. But that doesn't necessarily mean it'll work in practice. Any number of outside factors could prevent it from functioning, so the best way of seeing is to… well, test it." He made his way over to his bag and retrieved the familiar little vial.

I nodded. My adrenaline was pumping with the prospect of this working. "And if it works… then you'll let him drink tonight?" I asked.

Carlisle looked warily at Alice then back to me, nodding stiffly. "If it works… then we'll worry about getting him to feed."

As he handed it to me, I regarded it as I would treat the last bit of water on Earth. I'd die before anything came into contact with this vial.

"You'll be alright?" Carlisle asked, precautionary but knowing my answer. As I opened my mouth, Alice spoke.

"She'll be fine!" She began leading me toward the door, too eager for me to be downstairs. As we reached it, she leaned in and whispered, "Good luck, Bella. Take good care of him."

I sort of blanched at her, unsure of what to make of that.

"I… always do." I smiled then, opening the door and letting myself hope once again.

**

When I reached my vampire I took the customary few minutes to greet him. Our eyes met and his head fell onto his knee, his shaking immediately calming. It was as good as any smile would ever be, and it further sparked that long lost hope in me.

I sat in front of him, rubbing his fingers and his hands, awaiting my invitation. It didn't take long this time. His black eyes closed and his frown softened, our fingers tangling together. He took a shaky breath, letting our eyes meet once more, and his expression shifted, his frown returning. I nodded, easing our bodies down and into the position that we had perfected over the last three days. He was more nervous this time, I could feel his reluctance, and it broke my heart to know that he was right. Still, he complied, seemingly warring between his trust in me and his instinct to distrust me.

I scoffed, once again preparing to lose it all.

"So…" I began, ready for his rush of panic. He started shaking a little more, but wasn't trying to escape. Yet. "Carlisle got the second trial ready at the lab." I spoke softly, soothingly, my voice betraying my inner turmoil. I reached behind me and grasped the vial, removing the stopper. He couldn't see me, and he couldn't see it, but he definitely recognized that familiar 'pop'. He flinched violently, his growling erupting as he pushed his body against the wall. He was cornered, as he had been so many times before, and I needed to utilize it.

I reached for his exposed shoulder, guiding him onto his back. His arms protectively encircled his torso, shivering frantically at the new position. My vampire hated being on his back, his chest exposed. During the exam, in the countless times he had rolled over; he avoided resting on his back for any length of time. It's one of those small things that I could recognize now.

He tried to roll to his side but I added some weight to his shoulder, bringing the blanket up to cover his body. It didn't do much good. His eyebrows pulled together and he took deep, sobbing breaths. I imagined this was as close to crying as a vampire could get.

I tried to bring the vial to his mouth quickly, but when it was only a few inches from his face, I felt his hand clutch my arm. I could see the muscles throughout his forearm straining, the force of his trembling hand sending tremors all the way to my shoulder. He was gripping my wrist, not trying to stop me nor encourage me.

I looked at him and he looked back, all of his fear visible in his expression. "Trust me," I whispered, hoping that it wasn't futile. This drug had to work. It had to. "Please, please, trust me."

His hand remained clenched around my wrist, his breathing broken and forced, his chest heaving violently off of the floor.

I moved my other hand to his face, the back of my fingers grazing his cheekbones, begging him to try. Once again, he attempted to turn his body away from me, but I held him firmly, not allowing him to break my gaze.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you."

It was having no affect on him in his current state, so I tried once more to coax his mouth open. He wouldn't stop struggling but eventually the gap between his lips was enough. Quickly, I brought the vial to the opening and tilted it, letting the drug spill into my vampire. And again, I had to use my hand to prevent him from expelling it.

His head thrashed underneath my hand and his body shook fiercely, his grasp on my wrist tightening as a result of his terror.

I wanted to let him roll over, but I worried that he would lose the antidote in doing so, and I'd have to put him through this again. I wasn't sure if I'd even make it this far a third time. God, I hoped this would work.

"Calm down, it's okay," I said, trying to work my wrist free. His eyes closed and his thrashing let up; I knew he was close. Close to being broken one more time. "I need you to swallow it," I pleaded, hoping it wouldn't be much longer.

Several minutes later, his body stilled. The atmosphere was almost tranquil, my vampire gripping my wrist, my hand clutching his mouth shut like my life depended on it, and our eyes never leaving one another.

He closed his then, breathing deeply through his nose. The expression on his face softened slightly as he let his senses absorb the environment. Whatever it was, it seemed to calm him.

I felt his hand shaking slightly against mine as his breathing picked up, the only indication of his internal chaos, and slowly, deliberately, my vampire swallowed the contents.

I breathed a sigh of relief as he let his hand fall from my arm. His eyes remained closed as he turned his body away from me.

I didn't lay with him this time, though. I just rubbed his back, up and down his spine, as his breaths returned to a normal pace.

**

My vampire was shaking with a newfound veracity, his eyes huge and black as his lips slightly parted in terror. He shifted to his crouching position, a mountain lion ready to pounce, his eyes remaining focused on the basement door. I stumbled backward until I found the far corner of the room, unsure of whether to watch him or the door, but finally settling my gaze on the top of the staircase. I could feel my breathing and heart rate steadily climbing as my own limbs began to shudder, not knowing what to expect but anticipating a wide range of scenarios.

I could see the shadows blocking the light from the foyer; whoever was out there was ready and waiting. I knew I'd have to act to protect my vampire if I could, so once again, I prepared myself for the possible death that I would likely face. Instead of my life flashing before my eyes, though, my vampire's did. I prayed to any god that I could possibly think of that the Cullens would protect him. While I imagined his captors, poised outside of this room, waiting to take back what they thought was theirs, I let my eyes meet his for one last time, engraining his features into my memory. I nodded decisively, knowing what my one purpose in all of this must have been.

I began the mission of placing myself between my vampire and our common enemy resolutely, returning my focus to the door in sheer anticipation. I didn't know what I'd be able to do, if anything, but maybe I'd at least distract them long enough for him to make his escape. Or for Alice to see, for the Cullens to help. With just a few steps left to my destination, the door opened.

I didn't even have time to process the events, for my vampire sprang at his captors, his last effort to protect himself from a world that knew no good.

**

A/N: Sorry ... ;)

Nothing intelligent to say here except… instead of crapping yourselves waiting for ch.10, review!

(updated a/n: I realize the transition is a leeeeetle vague. bear with me.)