A/N:- Hey guys, Sorry it has been a while, have been exreamly busy with packing up school and planing to move house over the summer. Here is the next chapter, i hope you guys are still with me. Please enjoy it, it is the longest chapter I have written.
Enjoy!
lots of love
Amy
Disclaimer: still not mine.
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Hermione felt strange. The pain losing Fred, the tiredness she was feeling from not really sleeping as soundly as she should. She was worried for all the Weasley's. Molly was no longer cooking, cleaning and taking general pride in her home like she usually did, her voice no longer rang through the whole house, shouting at one of her children, not complaining that Bill's hair was too long or that Charlie spent too much time away. She wasn't shouting at the twins… the twins. Hermione shifted her thoughts to just George, the emotion she felt knowing he the one person who truly understood him was no longer here. George had to cope alone. She knew Bill, Charlie and Percy had each other to lean on.
Ginny, who took to the pain by sleeping as many hours as she could, until she was woken, where her tears would take over what was left of the day before going back to sleep, a vicious cycle which takes place everyday. Arthur had already piled work on, simply to keep his mind occupied and to get out the house for the reason that he couldn't watch his children and wife suffer, leaving the house for a day made his own pain bearable. By this point Hermione was already standing outside Ginny's room where she was supposed to be sleeping. However she was in cased so much with her thoughts that she didn't realise.
Her thoughts turned to Ron. Out of all her worries, he was the main one. She felt helpless to comfort him. Apart from the time where he broke down the day after the battle in the seventh floor corridor, he had shown no emotion what so ever. He hardly ever said anything to anyone, no matter what she or Harry said to him. He had taken on the role of helping around the house when his mother was unable and he would go to any of his brothers when they needed comfort, at some point he had found time to comfort Hermione. She knew his sleep was interrupted by nightmares, and he spent most of the trying to avoid sleep.
Her thoughts could have carried on all night, however Ginny interrupted.
"Hermione, Lavender Brown has returned to give Ron love potion"
"What?"
"Have you listened to anything I have said you in the last ten minutes?"
"Sorry Gin was thinking. I assumed you were asleep"
"I just figured we haven't had a proper girly chat in a while, and my mind was working too hard for me to sleep."
Hermione gave a small sarcastic laugh "I know how you feel"
With an exasperated sigh Ginny asked "what has Ron done now"
"That's the point! He hasn't reacted at all this situation. Apart from the day after the battle he hasn't cried, talked, eaten or slept. I just don't know what to do to help him"
"Hermione" Ginny tried to offer her friend some sort of comfort, however Hermione seemed to be in full rant mode.
"I know I am probably being stupid and should try to talk to him about it, and talk to Harry about my worries."
"Hermione"
"I never seen him like this, I just feel so helpless, I just want him to talk to me. I mean after this last year I thought he would trust me to be able to allow me to comfort him"
"Hermione. Just talk to him. Now can we get back to having our girly chat?"
"Yeah sure, so have you spoken to Harry lately, are you going to get back together? Do you want to get back together with him?"
"Trust you to start on that subject. No I haven't spoken to him, and yes I do want to get back together with him but I am not sure he does and I don't know if I can not knowing what you three did last year"
"Look Ginny. He cares about you; God only knows how many hours he spent looking at your name on the map. As for last year, it wasn't exactly a holiday, we just can't talk about it yet but it doesn't mean he doesn't trust you. I think you both need to have a long talk."
"I know. I just feel like he is kind of avoiding me"
"Actually I think he is waiting for you. He knows first and foremost that you need to grieve for Fred. Anyway he is always the first person who goes to you when you're upset. You need to go to him; he wants to know that you trust him and that you want a relationship, that you're ready for a relationship."
"You make it sound so easy"
"Believe me it isn't. Especially when your boyfriend will hardly speak to you"
"You're really worried aren't you?"
"He was fine while we were at school but since he came home, he won't speak to anyone, he is avoiding sleep taking over all the chores. He won't let me help him and I don't know what to do."
Ginny considered this statement for a while. She had to admit her brother's pure stubborn streak was sometimes hard to deal with. She was surprised that Hermione seemed to be at a lost in what to do, if anyone could help Ron, it was usually Hermione who succeeded. However the current situation her and her family were in was unfamiliar one and none of them knew how to react to their feelings.
"Maybe he is like Harry. He is brooding, making himself busy. He will come around"
"I suppose, thanks Gin"
"No problem. Now can I hear the juicy stuff? Remind me again, your first kiss?"
"What about it? I already told you how it happend"
"Yeah, but Hannah and Luna were there, tell me the juicy stuff!"
Hermione didnt mind re-telling Ginny about it, in fact she was almost waiting for Ginny to ask again, like she had done several times when Hermione first kissed Krum. Plus it was one story she would never tire from re-telling.
"During the battle, in the Room of Requirement and he mentioned saving the House Elves and I just thought 'sod it' and kissed him"
"Hermione Granger you cursed. So apart from you worrying about him, everything is going okay?"
"Yeah it is. We cleared everything up" when Ginny looked at her questionly Hermione added "you know the issues with Lavender and Krum. After that was sorted out we were fine"
"What do you mean? You weren't fine before you talked?"
"We were but we had to sort out some issues, mainly ones that occurred the year we were away" Knowing she wasn't getting anymore information from Hermione, Ginny pressed on with her questioning.
"So have you…. You know?"
She didn't get a verbal answer; she did however get a slight nod from a very red Hermione. Ginny proceeded to gasp before regaining her composure.
"What? When?"
"A few days after the battle."
"Wow"
"Gin, do me a favour, don't let anyone you know, you're the only person I have told."
"Sure. So when are you are going to find your parents?"
"I don't know yet, we still have some funerals to go to so probably after they have occurred. When are you going to talk to Harry, he is still up you know, it would have been his watch time, try the kitchen. Don't come back until you can tell me something." Hermione shouted to the just closing door Ginny had bolted through.
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George and Charlie laid there in what used to be the twin's room. Since coming home George had not been able to face his room alone, Charlie had offered to stay with him until George was ready. George couldn't pin point why he hadn't fallen into an un-easy slumber; it could have been the absent sounds of Charlie's snores or the sound of his voice.
"Hey George, I haven't heard the back door, do you think Ron is still outside?"
"Charlie, stop babysitting him. He will come in when he wants"
"You are aware of the time, its quarter to one. We came in at least nine. I am going to go and see if he is okay"
As Charlie went to get out of bed, George decided Charlie was not what Ron needed.
"I'll go; I haven't really spoken to Ron since he came back."
Without giving his brother a chance to answer George left his bedroom as quietly as he could. Hearing voices, he passed the kitchen quickly heading for the back door.
The night air was pleasantly warm after the house, and as George suspected Ron was sitting on the tire swing hanging from a solitary tree belonging to the grounds of the Burrow.
"Do you remember when we built this thing?" George asked indicating to the swing "The six of us. Making it together must have been one of the few times we all got along."
"Until we finished and you and Fred pushed me off" if George was worried before about Ron, he wasn't sure what this feeling that bubbled up inside was, as his brother spoke Fred's name it was clear of any emotion, a factor of Ron's personality that he wasn't good at controlling.
"After we finished we all agreed that if something was bothering us we would come here, either to think or wait for someone to talk to. We even allowed Ginny to use it. Mum and Dad still have no clue what we use is for. They wanted to take it down once."
"I remember, it was the summer before I started school. Fred went mad, even Bill and Charlie protested"
Silence beckoned on them, neither knowing what to say. For George, he had never seen his brother act like this in the past. Ron was always one for showing all the emotion he was feeling either on his face or in the way he acted. He began to wonder when his brother had become in control of his emotions, or most importantly what he went through in the past year which resulted in him acting this way. George knew in order to help Ron, he needed to push his own feelings aside and take some control. He had seen how Ron was keeping himself busy, looking after everyone to push his own pain away, like he was trying to hide something.
"You know Fred was out here a lot last year, when you were gone, whenever we came here for dinner, or to stay, he would go missing for ages. We would always find him sitting here, always worrying about you, not that he would ever admit it."
"Are you going to open the shop up again?" Ron acted as if he hadn't heard George.
"I don't know yet, haven't really thought about it. I might take a break; work on some new products first."
"Well when you want to re-open, I'll help. I don't plan on going back to school and besides, it's got to be run by two Weasley's."
"Have you spoken to Hermione about that, I am guessing she is all up for going back to school, and by looking at how close you two have become, you should really talk."
"It's not her decision; I want to help you out. You have only just come out of your room, and that was with Ginny convincing you." By this point Ron had got on to his feet. Being somewhat glad that the old Ron was still there, George took his chance to get slightly angry, hoping it would trigger some response in his brother.
"So what, you think I can't cope. Hermione is worried about you, Harry too. She is your girlfriend stop pushing her out."
"I'm not pushing her out." Right now Ron was beginning to shout.
"You are, and you know it. You're pushing all of us, we've all noticed. What are you trying hide?" it was almost as if he had hit the nail on the head, as Ron nearly lost his resolve on the subject and sank back down on the swing.
"It's just, I have seen things that… that I can't take back"
"You know you can talk to me. I know when I have to turn off 'jokey George' and become your big brother"
"Yeah, I know. Just not yet. I prefer 'jokey George"
"Even if you do end up being a tester for my new range?"
"I always was."
"True, sorry about that, we never meant any of our tricks to harm you in any way. How much sleep have you got lately, no offence mate but you look awful."
"Not much to tell the truth."
"Come on, we better get in, before mum goes crazy to find were not in bed."
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As made his way down to the kitchen Harry began to wonder whether he would ever get out of the routine him, Hermione and Ron had established throughout the year. For the first time in his life, he felt much older than he should. He finally felt tired, everything he had achieved for the past seven years, all the fighting, the amount of destruction he had seen he couldn't quite believe it was all over. He felt lonely, as much as he needs Ron and Hermione, mainly out of sheer habit. He felt safe around them, they were his comfort.
Their friendship had evolved into something more, after all they had been through, he couldn't help but think. That feeling of longing intensified as that someone walked through the kitchen door.
Harry sat there staring at her, making himself believe that she was real. Even in her night clothes he thought her as beautiful, the only person he would ever look at, the only person he would be in love with. The silence carried on, both staring intently at each other; willing the person opposite to speak first.
"Hey, couldn't sleep?" Harry asked.
"Not really. I seem to be sleeping a lot these days. Thought a cup of tea might help. What about you?"
"When we were in the tent, we used to share watch times. We didn't really have a set routine but I usually took watch about this time, I can't really fall out of the habit."
"Hermione is the same, I am guessing so is Ron."
"So did you want some tea then?"
"Yeah, that will be nice."
As Harry settled for making them both tea, simply for something to do with the bonus of giving him some thinking time. He felt like he had suddenly been thrown back into his six year, with an ongoing battle raging inside his head, however this time the battle was over what he could say to get her trust back, to get her back.
He set her tea down on the table opposite to where he was sitting and brought his gaze down to his mug whist deciding how to bring his preferred topic of conversation up. He knew he had to tell her about their series of events over the past year, his mind was brought back the memory of her practically begging them to tell her the day after the battle, as much re-living the events and tarnishing her mind with the subject he knew for them to move on they needed to be totally open with each other. He felt her gaze upon him, thinking she was expecting him to speak first; he was surprised when she took a sip of her tea and broke the uncomfortable silence.
"You know Hermione and I were talking earlier. She convinced me to come and talk to you." At her words Harry was unsure whether he should be hurt by what she said, it almost seemed that she was only here simply because Hermione had pushed her to talk to him. However Ginny seemed to be oblivious to the thoughts rushing through Harry's mind.
"I can see why you took her on your trip, clever is our Hermione, she knew I needed to talk to you and gave me the courage to do so."
"Look Gin" Harry attempted to interrupt but Ginny seemed to be unloading all her feelings she had bottled up for nearly a year.
"You left me Harry, you broke my heart, you went off on some world – saving- Dumbledore-mission-because-your-Harry-Freaking-Potter who is too noble for his own good."
"Ginny, I understand why you feel this way, I do, and I felt all through last year with Dumbledore. But please see it from my point of view; I couldn't let you get hurt again, we nearly died more than once. Do you really feel that I could watch you die? Knowing I had allowed you to come with us, it was hard when that circumstance happened to Ron and Hermione, it would be harder if it was you. Leaving you behind I least knew you were somewhat safe. I could relax a little when I saw your dot on the map sleeping in the Girls Dormitory or the fact that you were here safe with your parents and brothers. I have lost too many people; I couldn't bear the thought of losing you too."
"Harry." Ginny tried to calm him now however he seemed to getting out all his pent up emotion.
"Look, I care about you, more than I ever have about anyone. But I need you to trust me, that anything I don't tell you isn't out of spite or because I simply don't want you to know, it's because it is too hard me to re-live. I need to know you that everything I do is for you whether it is keeping things from you is because I am protecting you, I always was. I always will, if you let me."
"Of course I will let you, but we can't just go back to how we were. We need to start a fresh, I want to trust you I do, and from what Hermione has said, you three seemed to go through a lot lately, but you need to give me a reason to trust you."
"Okay, I'll do that" Harry answered but he mostly muttering away to himself rather than speaking directly to Ginny. He knew she wouldn't give him her trust straight away, that earning was the right thing to do, however the battle was still continuing; now it was between his heart and his head.
"I know I have kept you in the dark, I am sorry for that Ginny, I really am, but I need to know what you want to know, some of it is still pretty raw."
"What was the mission Dumbledore left you? I am guessing now you can tell me, since your back"
Before he answered Harry took in a deep breathe almost in relief that she had started out with an easy question.
"Do you remember when I was having private lessons with Dumbledore?" When Ginny only nodded in response Harry continued. "He was teaching me about Voldemort's past, he was showing me memories, from before he was at school, during and after. The memories were important because Voldemort made these dark objects, they, were called Horcruxes."
"When Voldemort killed my parents, and his spell backfired on me, he didn't die because he had created Horcruxes."
"But I don't understand, how?"
"A Horcrux, is an object, it contains a piece of a person's soul, created if chosen by the maker, when they commit the darkest act there is; murder. The use of a Horcrux allows the person to become immortal, so if their body is attacked, they will not die because the body doesn't contain all of its soul."
"So your mission was to destroy a Horcrux?"
"Voldemort made seven Horcruxes, once all of them were destroyed, only then could I finally defeat him"
"What were they?"
"Valuable items, well valuable to him anyway. There was Hufflepuff's cup, the Gaunt ring, Ravenclaw's diadem, Slytherin's locket, Nagini, and…and" his composure had started to crumble, how could he tell her? The horror which was her first year at Hogwarts was coursed by something he had destroyed. That apart of Voldemort's soul had processed her. How could he explain that for over a year he knew exactly what the object was and what it could do? As for explaining that he was the last, accidental Horcrux he simply didn't know where to start, or how she would react. On most nights, he couldn't even understand the concept himself.
"Look Harry, maybe we should stop for tonight. It's late. I won't be able to take all this information in, in one go." As she went to get up, she leaned over a gently placed a kiss on his cheek before leaving.
"Night Harry."
"Goodnight Ginny"